Outside of Time and Space:

An unknown amount of time later I came to in a void completely opposite of the one I had met Morah in. “Ha!” A booming voice broke through the vindictive conceit that flooded me when I killed myself to deny that bastard a new slave. “HA! HAHAHA!” I began to worry that Morah had tricked me, and I was back in his clutches, that it had been a test which I had failed. My panicked thoughts were allayed somewhat when the laughter cut off, and a voice wholly unlike the deities met my ears.

“Boy, how I wish I could have seen that ponce’s face when you cut your neck! Fucking brilliant by the way, just brilliant. I mean, I did see it when I got your memories when you died, but I can only do that the first time you die and it’s not really the same, ya know?” I didn’t but I wasn’t about to say.

This being didn’t seem like Morah, unless the shitty act he had put on before was fake and he was a much better scam artist than I had first supposed. Regardless, it didn’t matter much. Just like with Morah this new guy held all the cards, and I had none. Hell, I wasn’t even able to afford a buy in. I kept silent for a moment, before something they said struck me, and I blurted out “Wait a second. You just said the first time I died, but how would you have gotten memories of me killing myself when I died on Earth first?”

“Simple. Because you didn’t die on Earth.”

“But… I fell from 5 stories and everything went dark, and then I was floating in nothing with Morah breathing down my neck.”

“Smoke and mirrors, my friend. Morah and I are at odds because I control all souls once they leave their body, passing them along into the Stream to eventually reincarnate. He hates me because I won’t let him have access to them, and so he basically just teleports people from different Realms.”

“So all that was what? Just bullshit? I never actually died before my suicide? Ugh, that's a sentence I never expected to say.”

“Ding! Ding! DIng! Got it in one, well, two but who’s counting?”

I passed a hand through my hair in exasperation. That dickhole of a ‘god’ wasn’t just lying about helping me become a Hero, he had the fucking gall to tell me he was the God we all worshipped and wanted to move me on to an afterlife I deserved. Thinking about it, however, I felt this new one wasn’t lying. When I met Morah I still felt alive. I had to breathe, I could feel my senses. No floating ball of energy or the like. And now.. I couldn’t. I seemed to still have a body, and I could still ‘see’ and ‘hear’ the creature in front of me, looking like an aged Portland old timey, but no smell or anything else. You might not think you would notice losing your sense of touch when floating in a void like I currently was, but let me tell you it is a HUGE difference.

“This.. That dude is an ASShole.”

“ There’s a lot worse out there, if it helps. Morah wants to conquer the Realms one by one, and if he could souls he would, but he can't so he kidnaps people instead. He doesn’t rape, murder wantonly or corrupt, etc. and he’s powerful enough to keep that kind ion check in his worlds, so its better than most.”

“So Lawful, but Neutral Dick?”

“Haha, pretty much. I don’t like him, but I can’t stand against him truly and I’d rather not have the Realms get destroyed. Too much work to deal with all those souls.” The being took a moment while tilting their head “ How would you you like something other than this gloomy nothing around us”

“God yes!” I had been through that twice now and I was definitely ready for solid ground again. And preferably not soaked in my lifeblood.

“I can do that. But do NOT call me a god. I’m not. Neither is Morah, but I can see how you would think so.” He waved his hand, and energy started coalescing around us, made of darkness somehow distinguishable from the rest of the blackness all around. “Our kind is basically a god to those like you, and a lot of different Realms worship us, but we aren’t gods. We were once mortals like you. Even our children, if we choose to have them, are born mortal.”

I was going to ask what he was, however as I opened my mouth to speak the energy that had been building up finally changed. Very dramatically at that. One instant there was a crescendo of darkness, and before I could blink everything changed. No longer were the two of us floating levelly in a void, but were standing in what appeared to be an entire room made of zebrawood. A small bed covered in a tawny blanket in one corner and two very comfy looking chairs in the center, directly in front of a roaring fire. There was nothing else, not even windows however, so I assumed we weren’t really here, or the Nothing was still out there.

My unasked question was answered rather quickly “This is real, but there’s nothing outside us. It’s all made with Resonant energies. Once you leave it’ll disappear. I would say to enjoy yourself for now though, who knows where you’ll end up once I let you go”

I chuckled “So you’re not going to try to rope me into indentured servitude or some pyramid scheme?” I was still skeptical of whoever this was, but at least they weren’t making too good to be true demands of me.. Yet.

“I don’t keep souls. I only wanted to talk to you for a bit. You made me laugh and got back at a rival of mine in a way I’ve never seen before. I just wanted to thank you, and maybe give you a few gifts, and then send you along like I would all the other countless souls I’ve ushered into the Stream.”

“You’ve mentioned other souls several times now.. Where are they?”

“Oh that’s an easy one. This isn’t the whole me. Think of me like a super consciousness, connected to a bunch of avatars at once. What I know all the other incarnations of me know, and vice versa.” They said it nonchalantly, but even if he only oversaw a few worlds, which I was beginning to doubt, that would be a LOT of separate minds to deal with simultaneously.

They motioned me to the chair opposite of their own, and as we sat a small table appeared between the chairs, with two glasses letting loose steam from their rims. As Isat they spoke up again “Before you ask, I'm only giving you something you could eventually gain yourself, and only because of what you did to Morah. I don’t want anything from you, and to be honest I’ve done much more for others over the eons.”

“That does put me at ease actually” I scooped up my mug, taking a long sip of likely the best tasting coffee I had ever drank, creamy and sweet while still being balck and just chock full of flavor ”So, can I ask your name? I’m sure you probably know mine already, since you apparently saw my memories, but if not, I’m Creed Barton.”

“I’ve had a lot of them over the ages, so I’m fine with whatever you want to call me, really.”

“How about Nott? Since you’re so adamantly not a god.” I knew it was a bad pun, but if my favorite show being American Dad was any indication, I was into puns of all kinds.

“Hmm. I like it. Alright then, call me Nott. Not like we’re likely to meet again after this.” He wore a shit eating grin at was, to me at least, a wonderful pun. Enough so that I spew my heavenly drink all over a table that would have cost thousands had I bought it on earth.

After I recovered from my choking laughter, I brought up the new world I would supposedly be going to “ You said you’ll send me off into whatever the Stream is. Do I get a choice on where I end up or is it random?”

“I figured you’d ask about going back to Earth. Huh.”

I shrugged “I mean, there’s people there I’m sure I’ll miss, but come on. You can’t compare the bullshit that was my home planet with worlds with magic. Wait.. there will be magic right?”

“I can swing that. Truth is, I don’t really have much control over where a soul heads to, but I can add… parameters, for lack of a better word. Think of a bunch of material with varying magnetism attached to you, and then you get thrown into a river of ferrofluid also with varying degrees of magnetism. You’ll attach to something, and it’ll be close to what you want, but there’s millions of Realms out there, floating in the Stream. A Realm, by the way, is any contained reality within the Stream, and can be as small as this room, smaller, or magnitudes larger than the universe you lived in. They can even have varying levels of structure and dimensions/planes. Regardless of what you or I choose, it’s still pretty much a crap shoot.”

I thought about it for a moment, sipping on my brew. Man I really hope I get to take some of these beans with me when I go. The fairy tales had it all wrong, coffee is the real magic bean. After focusing on the important things, namely caffeine and my potential future, for a few minutes I made my choice. “O.K. I think I know what I want. Does it matter how many stipulations I add?”

“The more you pick, the less likely you will get them all, or you may end up with something you really, really don’t want. K.I.S.S. it, bro”

I laughed, inwardly and outwardly. How many times had Iheard Cayde saying the same? If anyone from my old life was to be missed, it was that goofball. “Well, let’s go with 3?” He nodded at the question, so I continued “ One, I would like a world that could possibly be considered an Earth analogue, insomuch as it has similar or identical languages, cultures, etc.

“Doable. Earth is actually a Restricted Realm. It was created by those from other Realms themselves, needing to escape persecution. Humans are not indigenous to it and your cultures, at least the old ones, aren’t either.”

“Well now I have another million questions to add to my infinite tab, but whatever. Two, I would like a world where magic is abundant, to the point that everyone naturally has the ability to use it, and preferably one where that magic is freeform and not relegated to strict systems of growth while also not being driven only by things hard to grasp, such as emotions, abstract concepts and the like.”

“Oof.. that one will be a little more difficult. Most Realms have at least an Apoth or two—beings like Morah and I—and eventually they restrict, or more accurately focus, the magic of their home Realms to some degree. BUT” they held up a finger as I opened my mouth “ That doesn’t mean they don’t exist. I can make that the priority, if you want.”

I nodded. “Do it.” Similar to Earth is all well and good but for a geek like me, freedom of choice in how I go about manipulating reality? Way more important. “ Three… I’m not too sure on what to pick, really. There’s a lot that I feel could be useful but aren’t really better than others, or may conflict.”

“I have a suggestion, if I may sir?” He raised his hand. Like a kid in a fucking grade school would to answer a questoin. It made me crack another smile and I was really hoping I met other beings like him, or that I would get to meet him again in the future. Hopefully not by dying again.

“Go ahead, young Nott” I spoke in my most authoritative Teacher voice, getting a small chuckle for my measly efforts.

“Just from looking through your life, and your perspective of your world, if not the whole thing, I would recommend a place where race, religion, and the like are not important, or at least is not relevant to how you are treated. A more meritocratic kind of place, that is. It seems that while Earth did have a lot of freedoms in certain places humans there were not very friendly to each other”

“That.. Sounds great actually. That works for me, if it does for you. And again, thank you. I was ready to just start over but this is such a better option, even if Morah might find me in the future.”

Nott started stroking his beard before standing abruptly and walked towards the wall directly behind us. It was blank, but with a wave of his hand a door appeared. He fiddled around for a moment, poking the hinges, handle and the like, before nodding to himself and presenting it to me in full with a dramatic wave of his arms, swishing a cloak that he had not previously been wearing. “This will take you out into the Stream. You’ll pass out when you go through as you’re not at a level where you can withstand that force, and the parameters will stick to you as you go through.”

Walking back to us, he sat again in his chair, pointing at the table between us. On it were now two books. Well, the left was more of a pamphlet, only being a quarter inch thick, if that. It was a glossy vantablack and stamped in the center with a shimmering golden mobius strip. The other was a good deal thicker, more of a textbook size, and was a matte grey with silver trimmed pages, but otherwise featureless.

“These are the other gifts. The pamphlet is just that, though it does deal with the true makeup of reality at a basic level as well as the true stripped down path to power. I'm giving you this because if you land in a place that is indoctrinated or regressive, you won’t really be able to advance very far, and I’d like to see you go further than a short life. The second is just as important, and will work similar to what you would think of as a System. I stress that because it is not a cash shop, and not a solution to all your problems. You won’t be able to do much with it until you arrive wherever though, and for reasons that will become clear I won’t go into any details. You’ll thank me later for being so infuriatingly vague now.”

“You know I like games with minimal hand holding, so you know I don’t mind”

He smiled “True enough, just keep in mind this is by no means a game. Can't stress that enough. Oh! One thing I will let you know, since it’ll be rather important. You actually died this last time. Your body right now? It’s just a mental construct. I’d recommend opening the second book before you exit the door, or your new self will be random. You might even end up as a baby in someone’s arms.”

While I was lost in thought about how I may end up looking, he slapped his hands together, bringing me back to the moment. “Now. That about concludes our time. Any other questions before I go? I’m an important man after all” I bet he said that because of my last words.. Dick. It may sound mean, but it was affectionate. The guy was really starting to grow on me.

“Thank you, Nott, for everything. I was ready just to die and… this is way more than I deserve for killing myself.”

“I told you, I’ve done way more for others, this is the equivalent of you picking up papers someone dropped and walking away. Just try not to die too quickly. I won’t be able to do it again too soon. You’ll more than likely pass straight on since we’ve already actually met. As far as reality is concerned we’re skirting the rules and you’ll just go straight back to the Stream after you kick the bucket.”

“What is the Stream, by the way?”

“Nope” He said, shaking a finger at me ”Times up. See ya!” without any fanfare he disappeared as if he never was, and I glanced towards the black pamphlet where his finger had been left pointing. Alright, so it's part of that mysteriousness, and in there? Whatever, I’m taking a nap first. I walked to the bed, admiring the beautiful cover that looked like it would put cashmere to shame, and immediately fell face first into the mattress. I was asleep before I even settled.

I woke up, slowly and languidly. After stretching, maybe excessively so, and without opening my eyes I slapped my hand to the right of my bed, grasping for my morning pick me up and lighter. I found them and after taking my first hit, I broke the sleep on my eyes to check the time. When all that stared back at me was a wall of zebrawood and an odd door that looked normal but inherently wasn’t, it hit me. What met my gaze wasn't my house. The sweetleaf I was imbibing may have been real, but I was not on Earth. I had DIED. Only once, truly, however I feel safe in saying that’s enough for anyone.

After a much longer pull than before - Thank you Nott for this last little gift - I dabbed the end of my relief to my tongue, letting the coal go out and using the slight burn as a reality check, like one would pinch a cheek to prove to themselves they’re awake. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, trying to mentally level myself, the psychoactive cocktail swirling through my mind helping the practice become smooth. Another look up, the ceiling still wasn’t mine and I’d still committed suicide, but I was starting to be ok with that. The fact that I had a new life waiting to be started helped way more than the drugs in resolving me to that. Well, it helped about the same really. This is some quality flower.. Nott’s a pretty good guy. Nott. Haha. With two t’s. If only I had a tuxedo and a brother. Ahh god, I'm never gonna be able to watch Dale and Brennan again. Fuck!

The entire time my mind was rambling--and trust me, my inane revelations didn’t stop with my first f-bomb--I went through the motions, and got ready for the day. Meaning I threw off the blankets that had somehow found their way around my frame and forced myself to stand. I’d say I was already dressed because I had planned to get going right away, that I had been too tired to even think about taking off my clothes. Much like the plethora of times I had done the same in my chair it was just laziness more than anything.

Taking another deep breath, with a much calmer attitude than upon waking up, I walked over to the desk still standing before the door I would soon be leaving through. The books laid equidistant upon it seemed normal, without any ‘magical’ effects coming off of them, however they nonetheless filled me with a sense of foreboding. It’s similar to staring at an acceptance letter from a top university or corporation, only in my opinion, much more pertinent to my life’s future path.

Ignoring the nervousness flooding my system with willpower and a helping hand from my favorite flower, I sat in the also-made-from-zebrawood-but-darker chair. Reaching for the first book on reality and magic, I left the ‘system’ one in its place. I didn’t have a clue as to what secrets it could hold or what wonders it could provide aside from the body aspect, but I did know it would be smarter to meet its secrets with a better understanding of the way the Realms I might find myself in operate. My old teachers would be proud, I'm actually going to study for once. Has a little more impact than learning algebra or why Colden Haulfield was such a twerp, to be fair.

The cover looked the same as the night before, a blacker-than-black fabric holding pages of the same, yet somehow still delineated from each other. Turning the cover there was no title or credits, jumping right into what could only be a copy of ‘Reality and Magic for Dummies’. I didn’t mind. The simpler it was, the easier I could absorb it. I hope I can keep this when I leave. Even if it’s not very long and pretty simple I may be able to sell it? It is knowledge from a god level being, after all.

Quickly, I was absorbed. It was vastly interesting, and differed very, very much from what I knew of my old world. Well, obviously it was, being about magic and all. I read and re-read the first page several times until I could recite it from memory. Paraphrase it at least. It’s not too detailed, and doesn’t really give me any concrete steps, but I bet Goldy there probably will. Nott said it was like a system, so it has to have some kind of guided path. I hope it does. I don’t know what I'm going to do if I have to figure all this shit out for myself.

I sat the pamphlet back on the table, reaching for the golden symbol of my future. My hands trembled from the buildup of anticipation, like I was a kid again and it was Christmas eve. Shaking fingers grazed the velvet like cover and before I could marvel at that or even think about actually picking it up, the entire thing burst into a riot of shimmering dust before zooming to the back of my right hand, forming a golden outline of an open book.

The fuck?