A decision could not be made of what to do with Ryaa’s body. Though his body had become Waterfolk, he had been born a Landwalker. So while decisions continued his body was stored in a cold room to keep his body free of rot.

While they decided I remained in bed until my fever broke two days after his death. My body ached, but Holly refused to give me anything strong enough to dull all but the worst pain in my leg. My father had briefly visited me, but I hardly remembered the conversations we had when I was feverish. I struggled to remember what had happened in those two days.

Cadfael and Lord Aur had slept next to me every night. During the day Holly and Cia attended me; most of the time I was left alone with my thoughts when the pain did not drive me to sleep. Lemuete, I knew would find a way to get me, I saw the promise of it on his face while he watched Ryaa and I carried out to sea by the current.

How had he and his party reached us so quickly? I had heard the hounds miles off. Was it possible that he had tricked my senses with his demonic power? Had he devised some way to speed their travel?

Distantly I heard the door open. I could smell Cia’s perfume as she entered. It seemed that the household preferred wearing strange scents when out of the water. She was humming to herself as she set down a basket full of sheets. I pushed myself into a sitting position, hissing as my right leg protested the movement. “How was your night?” I asked her. She was noticeably startled to see me fully awake and alert.

“I slept fitfully, too much on my mind,” she said as she moved the basket closer to my bed. “Would you like me to comb and braid your hair milady?”

I smiled. “Don’t call me milady when it’s just us. It just doesn’t seem… natural to me yet.” She smiled. I felt my own falter as I saw something behind it, something that seemed familiar, but I could not name. She went to the wooden dresser with its ornate carvings and picked up a bone comb and a black ribbon sewn with seed pearls. I slowly turned so that my back faced the side of my bed. I felt her fingers brush against my neck and I immediately thought of Ryaa. I took a stuttering breath and swallowed my sorrow down. There was nothing that I could do for him now that he was dead. I had tried to save his life over and over, but only he had succeeded in saving my own and the pain of it hurt just as much as the loss of him.

What would Claire do once she realized that he was never coming back? Would she curse my name? Hunt me down? Kill herself? I did not know. All I knew that below our feet was the body of a Landwalker that had become Waterfolk. I was sure the knowledge of his transformation had spread throughout the hold, if not farther. Someone with more power and influence than Cadfael would come looking for answers; was I prepared to answer them?

I felt a prick at the back of my neck and flinched. “Sorry milady,” Cia said quickly. She made several more passes with the comb then set it down at my side. I felt the gentle tug and lift of her hands as she began braiding my hair. She began to hum and I started to relax.

I remembered when my mother would braid my hair before training; it was one of the few times that we spent together apart from the warriors, just mother and daughter. She would hum her favorite song with me as stray strands of hair floated around my head like an anemone’s stingers.

My body began to droop as if my strength was slowly seeping away. Weakly I raised the back of my hand to my forehead and wiped away the sweat that had begun to collect there. I vaguely remembered this feeling the first night I had spent in Cadfael’s home, the weakness, the nausea, and the dizziness. I wondered if Holly’s tonic was wearing off.

Cia had stopped humming but she continued to braid my hair. “Did you know that Vael and I have known each other since childhood?” Cia asked as she weaved.

“No, I didn’t.”

“I hardly expected it since you lived outside the hold with warriors, farmers and laborers. We were close, always running the halls at night while our parents slept. When Lady Ai and Lady Syr broke his heart, it was to me he came for comfort.”

My fingers began to feel numb and a chill came over me. I shivered and pulled my tangled blankets into my lap. I knew I would have to send for Holly soon.

“Each time his heart was broken I was happy that he could see those women for what they truly were, I was happy that he returned to me.”

I struggled to understand what Cia was saying to me. More of my limbs were feeling numb and my vision was wavering. With a start I realized that this was the exact feeling I had my first night in Cadfael’s household. I shook my head to clear it and Cia tugged my head back and began weaving the ribbon into it. “Cia, I need Holly.” She chuckled and I knew that I was in danger.

“Holly will attend your cold corpse when I’m done with it.” She roughly pushed me forward. I moved too slow to catch myself as my weight came down on my arms. I rolled and barely put my hands up in time to catch her arms as they came down. I directed the knife into the mattress beside me then kicked her in the stomach. She continued to hold on to the knife and when my foot connected it pulled free of the mattress as she fell back. “Stupid little succubus, I will not have you hurt Vael again! I increased the dose this time so all I have to do is wait then cut your pretty skin. He’ll think it was suicide.”

I could not stop my laugh as she glared at me and I recognized what I had seen earlier in her smile; hate. “Hounds, you are crazy,” I said as I slowly crawled backward using my good leg to push me across the bed. She scrambled quickly to her feet then leaped on my midsection forcing the air out of my lungs.

Cia never had training in grappling, but I had, the only advantage she had was that I was injured and poisoned. I barely heard the door open when I bit down hard on her wrist. I heard a squeal and we both paused to look at the door. Lord Aur stood in the doorway with his nursemaid, their skin pale with fear. “Aur, run!” I shouted. Without a word his nursemaid swept him up into her arms and sprinted down the hall.

Immediately I turned my attention back to Cia. She tried to elbow me in the face and I blocked her. “Filthy chum, she hissed in my ear. Vael will reward me when you’re dead and I will be the one marrying him.” I twisted the knife away when my stomach clenched in pain. I swallowed bile as every muscle in my body began to seize up. Cia giggled and pushed back her hair from her face. “I’ll just tell Vael that I was trying to stop you from killing yourself and that Lord Aur misunderstood what he saw.”

“He won’t believe you,” I growled. The numbness was spreading quickly now. Cia rolled away from me and off the bed and closed my bedroom door. She dragged two dressers to block the door.

My body trembled as I rolled onto one knee. I knew what I had to do. I collapsed, laid still and held my breath. Warriors were trained to control their breathing in combat situations. Though I had ceased my training six years ago, my body remembered what to do. I heard Cia take a few steps toward the bed then felt the mattress shift beneath me. Cia grabbed my wrist and slid the knife from my hand, as soon as it was clear I struck out with the heel of my right hand and hit her throat. She gagged and I used the distraction to take back the knife. She lunged forward knocking me back into the mattress. Her fingers tightened around my throat and her weight pressed her hands firmly into my windpipe cutting off my air. I slipped the blade below her ribs and angled up to her heart. Surprised she jerked back. Weakly she grabbed my hair and pulled out the ribbon.

“I will see you in hell,” she choked. She fell back and I released the knife as her body hit the stone floor with a sickening thud. The room spun around me and I gripped the sheets as if the world was tilting upside down and I needed to hold on to keep from falling. I heard something heavy hit the door, but it did not budge. Distantly I heard the warriors yelling for me to answer. The door shook as they hit it from the other side.

Slowly I crawled to the edge of the bed and rolled off. I moaned as my injured leg was jarred and lay still while I waited for the spots to clear from my vision. I began to crawl along the floor then braced my feet against the nearest dresser and pushed it clear of the door. My left leg protested the strain and I bit down hard on my lip to keep from screaming. The door shook again then slid open an inch. I could see faces pressed against the jamb then they disappeared as the bodies attached to them pushed against my door once more.

The wooden dresser squealed as its feet slid and scraped the floor as the door was pushed wide enough to let the first warrior through. He swiftly pushed the second dresser out of the way allowing the other warriors to push the door wider. They paused a moment to look between myself and Cia. “What are you gawking at, attend the lady!” One of the female warriors yelled from outside the door. Her voice sounded familiar and when she stepped through the door I recognized her as the current captain of Cadfael’s warriors. Her shoulder plates were spiky like a sea urchins ranking her as an officer. The marigold half cape that fell from them marked her as a captain. She squinted at her warriors as they scrambled to get out of her way. She knelt before me and bowed. “Milady, do I have permission to touch you?”

“Y-yes…” I stammered. My body was shaking violently as my muscles contracted and my stomach turned on itself. I closed my eyes and concentrated on breathing while the captain felt my face and throat.

“Sargo, find Holly and bring him here. Chromis!”

“Ma’am”

“Find Bran; tell him that that Lady Sol has been attacked. Lord Cadfael is currently in a meeting with Lord Blenny and should not be directly disturbed. You two,” the captain said pointing to two warriors standing off to the side. “Check Cia! Milady what happened?”

“She…poisoned me…tried to stab m-me.” The air felt like sludge as it moved in and out of my lungs. With each breath less and less air filled my lungs. I swayed and the captain caught me. “Captain Ireta.” I gripped her arms tightly while I tried to form my thoughts. Tears of frustration formed in my eyes but did not fall. “Where’s Lord Aur?”

“Milady Lord Aur is safe with his nursemaid. They both are a little bothered, but I’m sure the young lord will be better once he knows you’re safe.”

Cia’s body was covered by the sheet she had brought in before her death. I was moved back to the bed and propped up with pillows. By then I was gasping for breath. My wound and reopened and the bandages were spotted with my blood. Captain Ireta sat beside me letting me hold her hand. I could see the mottling on her hand from my tight grip. The minutes felt like hours as we waited for Holly.

My chest hurt from breathing and I wondered if I was to die from suffocation. How had I let Cia fool me? I had seen that falseness in her smile and yet I had continued to trust her. I should have known something was wrong the first time that she found me in Cadfael’s bed. What had he told her when our engagement was announced? Was he sleeping with her all this time while engaged to me? Did Cadfael even love me?

Holly stepped quickly into my room and was soon checking my pulse. He checked my eyes, pulling back the lids so that the lamp light hit each pupil. “Milady, have you vomited at all? Do you feel dizzy? Nauseated?”

I shook my head, nodded and shook my head then the nausea hit me again. I curled into a ball as my stomach became a hard burning knot and I gagged on my saliva. “Keep her on her side in case she faints. Give me a moment to return to my work chamber, I do not have the supplies I need.”

“Be quick healer, I will not have the lady dying in my custody!”

“Rest assured that I feel the same.” Holly nearly walked into Bran as the two of them reached the doorway at the same time. Holly stood to the side and bowed his head in acknowledgement. Bran returned the nod as he came into the room.

The people were becoming blurry as I shivered on my bed sheets. “What is that?” Bran asked pointing to Cia’s body.

“Cia, sir, she poisoned the lady and tried to kill her.”

“Well who killed her? Lord Cadfael would have wanted her interrogated.”

Captain Ireta nodded to me as she continued to hold my hand. “The lady did sir.” Bran sighed and covered his eyes.

“I knew I should have moved Cia to another duty,” he hissed.

“Sir?” the captain asked.

“Cia has had an intimate relationship with the lord for several years. I thought he had broken things off with her some time ago, but I’m guessing with Lady Sol’s absence she saw it as a chance for them to resume their relationship. How a fool I was to not see the signs of this.” Bran knocked his knuckles against his temple before bringing them back to his side. “Captain Ireta, I want you to post guards on the lady’s chambers. No one without my or Lord Cadfael’s authorization is allowed to enter until we get this matter under control.”

“Yes Sir!” The captain saluted and Bran came closer to me. He knelt beside the bed and touched my free hand.

“I apologize for my negligence Lady Sol.”

I laughed.

“It wasn’t…your fault…and it’s not…your blame…to take,” I rasped. “I’m still…alive…” I smiled at him and he returned it.

“Thank you my lady.” Bran gathered up his Grace and quickly left the room.

Holly returned and made me drink a milky substance that left a bad taste in my mouth. My shaking stopped and I began to feel warm again. I stopped fighting my tiredness, closed my eyes and slept. When I awakened I found that my bed sheets had been changed, Cia’s body removed and the lamps turned low. Even more than before my body ached. I rubbed my teary face against the soft stitches of my pillow. Ryaa is gone, my heart howled. Cia is dead.

I felt raw and alone.

Outside my door I could hear my guard shift on his feet. My stomach squealed in protest and I realized I had not eaten in who knew how many hours. I noticed a bell just within my reach. I grabbed the bone handle then shook it firmly. The guard immediately cracked the door. “Ma’am,” she asked.

“Food…water,” I rasped. My skin felt dry and my mouth like it was full of cotton. Then door shut quickly and I rolled on my back and spread out. My emotions swirled like a tumultuous whirlpool of rage, sadness and regret. What was I supposed to say to Cadfael? Why had he not told me about Cia?

I realized with a start that Cia had probably snuck into Cadfael’s room to kill me the morning that I had first woken there. She had probably expected me to swim home after the banquet and die there, but I had followed Cadfael to his hot spring bath. She probably had poisoned me once more, but instead I had fled to the Forbidden Line with Ryaa and he had cared for me there.

This was her third attempt on my life and her third failure. Why did she want to kill me? Was my death her path to a happy life with Cadfael?

The door opened swiftly and the person I most wanted to see, yet at the same time wanted to hide from, entered my room. Today his hair was beaded with amber, gone were his mother’s pearls. His fan was clutched tightly in his hand at his left side. He paused to scan the gloom of my room then looked at the floor. I did not know what he saw on it, but it made him flinch before he looked at me.

I did not sit up to greet him. Instead I locked all of my emotions behind a mask. We watched each other in silence for several moments. I could see him hiding his own emotions behind the arrogant mask that he used with everyone else.

He took a step toward my bed and I held up my hand. He stopped then turned and shut the door then rested his head against it. “Sol, I’m sorry, I did not know that Cia would-“

“Would try to kill me?” I could not keep the coldness out of my voice and I watched as his shoulders slumped. “Did you think that I would never find out about you two?”

Cadfael turned to face me and once again tried to cross the distance between us. I threw a pillow at him. “Sol, try to understand… My relationship with Cia was a secret. We didn’t want to tell anyone in fear of her being punished.”

“Did you sleep with her while I was held prisoner?”

“No! Sol I have been faithful to all of my wives including you!”

“So why did Cia think that killing me-“ My voice broke and I paused while my tears flowed hot down my cheeks. “Why did she think that killing me would bring you two back together?” Cadfael approached again and I threw more pillows until there were none. I reached blindly and found the bell, but I left it where it was and curled into a ball of pain. I flinched when Cadfael wrapped his arms around me and began whispering his love in my ear.

Everything thing hurt; my eyes, my limbs, my heart, my head. I turned in his arms and his lips found mine. I quickly turned away and his head sagged into the hollow between my jaw and shoulder. He placed something cool and bumpy in my hands. I opened my eyes and saw his mother’s pearls on a wire. It had been weeks since I had last seen it. I wrapped my fingers tightly around the pearls. Swallowing a lump in my throat I turned my head and brushed Cadfael’s ear with my lips. “Don’t keep secrets like this from me again,” I whispered.

When the knock came on my door Cadfael got up to answer it. The servant quietly brought in my food and drink. He tasted the food before him then was dismissed by Cadfael when no symptoms arose. Cadfael set the platter down on the low square table near my bed then began to pick up the pillows from the floor and tucked them behind me. When I was settled he placed the platter in my lap. I stared at the food, but could no longer find my appetite

“Will you be fine on your own?”

I looked up and tried to read his emotions, but they were still guarded. I felt jealous. I knew he missed Cia, they had been friends and lovers. They had shared an intimacy that I had only begun to experience, but it made me wonder if there were other secret lovers in the household; women who had shared his bed after the heartache of his divorces. Was I to be another former wife? Would Cadfael find another Cia to comfort him?

My body trembled. I had barely registered that the platter had been removed from my hands when Cadfael kissed me. My hands reached up to his shoulders then his hair as his lips moved against mine. Pain fled my body as desire filled it. I pulled back to breathe and was finally able to see his emotions. “I don’t want to lose you again,” he whispered. I shook my head and kissed him again.

“You won’t… You won’t,” I whispered.

It was Bran who woke us up some time later and I struggled to sort through everything that had happened before we slept. I felt my face grow warm and pulled the covers high enough to reach my chin. Bran pretended not to notice as Cadfael slipped back into his Grace then ran his fingers through the tangles of his hair. Pieces of amber fell from it to join those that had already fallen around us.

“Sir, if I may make a suggestion?” Bran addressed the floor as Cadfael collected his beads.

“Go ahead.”

“I think it would be prudent for the two of you to keep to separate sleeping quarters, at least until you are wed. Given the recent events I would not want the rumor spread that you and Lady Sol have…pre-consummated.”

I could hear the question in his voice.

I felt a chill go down my spine as I thought of the consequences of pre-marital unions. I guarded my virginity, aggressively if needed, from the men in the village. Even though Cadfael and I were betrothed I had not let anything go past a kiss. I wondered if Bran had thought anything had happened between us or if rumors were already occurring about my virtue. I quickly sat up and looked at Cadfael. He had paused in his collection of beads and was staring at Bran intensely.

“Bran, we have not pre-consummated our marital relationship.”

“Sir, I did not say you had-.”

“I heard it in your voice,” Cadfael growled. Bran stood his ground and looked directly into Cadfael’s eyes, challenging him.

“You must know how this must look to me or anyone else; an unwed woman and man sharing a bed night after night. Then I come here for you and see that you are unclothed and the lady cowering beneath the covers.” Bran’s voice was hard with anger and I trembled slightly before dropping the covers so that he could see that I was still clothed. “We still have enemies within these walls, how am I to protect you if the both of you act so recklessly?”

My eyes widened as I realized that Bran was making me privy to information that I had not known before. “Bran…” I said in a low voice.

He smiled kindly at me then. “Sol, I know that there is no reason to doubt your virtue. Sometimes we need to see things outside our perception of reality. I am glad that Lord Cadfael has chosen to marry you, this is the happiest I’ve seen him in years. He’s becoming less of his father and more like the man he was meant to be.”

I looked at Cadfael then and saw the shock on his face. He stood hunched over the edge of the bed with one hand clasped around the beads, the other still reaching for a stray piece of amber that had rolled against my thigh. Gently I picked it up and placed it in his hand. He looked at me as our hands touched and gave me a small smile. “I’ll heed your advice,” Cadfael said turning to Bran.

From that day onward we began sleeping apart, but it was already too late.