《Kobold Expansion》Hyperventilationsystem
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Knights begin to appear from the woods. They have their swords drawn. “Hey guys, could you wait before attacking me. We should talk this out.” I nervously plee. The closest one, the only differentiating feature is that he has a red plume on his helmet. He holds a fist to the hair. The other knights stop moving. He sheaths his sword. “We are the Baron’s men. Our wizards noticed some unusual happenings around this area.”
“Unusual as in?”
“The first unordinary occurrence happened one month ago, when the mountain exploded. At first our recon wizards thought it to be an eruption, but soon after they spied houses being constructed at the entrance and an unseen monster, or possibly demi-human was leading the kobolds.” He talks with a monotone voice in a dictation that is hard to describe; pausing between every few words and emphasizing the next.
“Ah, I see. Well umm…. Quick question, how far into the King's land is this mountain?”
I’ll steal a page from Homestucks book to properly convey his speech pattern in writing.
“This mountain on the Border, but it is still our Job to keep the Border Strong. We can’t allow The Republic of Demi-Humans on the other side of the Border to Advance. It is unconscionable that they would try to Establish a Community of Monsters run by a Demi-human on our Border. Though to get the Kobolds away from the Dragon, perhaps they would have made a Pact with it. You’re not Affiliated with either of them are you?” You get the idea. He stresses important words while staying monotone.
Obviously I’m not, but I feel like he’s just gathering information from me. The chance of me being an act of war instead of a rogue actor could be keeping me alive. I dodge his question and ask an unrelated one.
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“What’s the nearest city? I can see a city from the cave entrance, but I know nothing about it.”
If he was annoyed by me dodging the question he doesn’t show it. His demeanor is like that of a robot’s.
“The nearest city is a trading town run by Baron Herbert. It connects to the two major countries on western border of the Kingdom.”
Baron Herbet, that sounds familiar. I’ve heard that family name before.
“Does Baron Herbet have a granddaughter who goes to university?”
The knight seems taken aback. “How do you know that?”
“I met his daughter and wife on the road. I saved them from a bandit. I promised to visit after I killed the dragon that used to be here.”
“That was you? She said a kobold saved her. Though on the official report I was the one to save her.”
“Well I’ve evolved since then, killing a dragon will do that.” I laughed, trying to cut the tension in the air, but the knight didn’t respond. He just kept a stony face. While I was tense he seemed almost calm. Eventually he rubbed his chin and spoke. “You should visit the city soon.”
He motions for all the knights to leave. They slowly start clambering through the forest.
I rush back up to the cave. This is it! This is my olive branch into human society. If this goes well I can assure safety for my kinsmen. I just need to get on the good side of the humans. What do humans like? Gold, I fill the backpack full of gold. I can always come back with more, this is just a down payment for the land we occupy. Dragon scales? Abigale, the baron’s granddaughter was thrilled by kobold scales, maybe they like dragon scales too. They also like it when people wear clothes. I’ll need to buy clothes first thing when I get into town. They have to be purple. Purple is a rare color in medieval times so if I buy a purple robe it’ll show that I’m rich. It’ll immediately make me respected. Should I bring my rapier? The rapier is a gentlemanly weapon, right? I have no training with it, but perhaps bringing it for show is a good option. If I’m attacked can I fight my way out of it? If it’s by a racist pedestrian then yes. I can easily restrain them until the guards arrive. If it’s by the guards themselves. I can use a fire storm to destroy half the town. Sure, that would tumble into a terrible series of events, but at least I’d still be free. The better option is to use my wings to fly away. My mind is racing with thoughts.
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“Lord Anon.”
I look up from frantically shoving gold into the backpack. The Kobold Shaman is there. “Yes, what do you need?”
“The food supplies are running low.”
Shit, okay, alright. “Where do you normally get food?”
“Steal it from humans.”
I bite my knuckles. “Can not do that anymore. Quick what are some other sources of food?”
She shrugs. She actually doesn’t know any! How did the dragon raise them to be this inept. “Okay, okay, One sec.”
I recall the surrounding areas. Cross reference with what kobolds of this low ability would be able to do. “Kobolds can make traps right? The forest has monsters. Try to hunt close to the mountain.”
“What if the goblins notice us?”
“They shouldn’t be a problem, but what else is there...” I rub my chin. “The river! It might have fish in it? That’s food, I don’t have the time to teach y'all fishing right now, but you’re smart. You can figure it out. Also there are beetles in the caves. They are poisonous but you are a shamen who can cure poison. It’s food, but only use that as a last resort.”
“Why can’t you teach us fishing?”
“I have to go. The human’s summoned me. I need us to be on friendly terms with them.”
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