Our inventions are wont to be pretty toys, which distract our attention from serious things. – Henry David Thoreau

Because he’s an idiot. – Briel to Nick after Jase’s visit.

One week. One week or eternity, Jase couldn't honestly remember.

After one week of misery spying on Nessa from his new apartment, Jase considered shutting off his computer. Nothing of significance had occurred, and if he had to see Drew Pearson and his unsuccessful attempts to rekindle his relationship with Nessa for one more day, Jase might fly back and kick the erstwhile friend out permanently.

Jase would finally have switched off the laptop if he hadn't seen Nessa pull out a suitcase and start packing. Since he hadn't installed microphones in Nessa's apartment, he could only monitor her actions, not her words, and apparently, he had missed something pivotal. What was she doing? he wondered. Jase tried to contact Drew only to receive a recorded message which redirected him to a new telephone number with a new area code. Cursing, Jase put down the phone.

When he tapped Drew's new number into the internet, Jase gawked at the results.

“Boston,” he mumbled to himself.

Jase sat alone in the modest new apartment, decorated with his favorite Eastern bloc motif. As soon as he could manage it, he had dumped Amélie and moved north in an effort to leave behind everything that he had encountered in San Antonio. In so doing, he had removed any connection that could tie him down in any way. He had also removed any motivation for pressing forward.

As Jase had expected, no one had bothered Nessa during the entire week of his absence. Though he still despised what he had seen in New York, Jase had felt little motivation to continue his crusade against ProtoComm. Meg hadn't “visited” him since New York, and his dreams had ceased entirely, though he felt no relief in the fact. He should have had his newly moral conscience to contend with, but it seemed, not just muted, but silenced entirely under the ponderous cover of emptiness left in Nessa's wake.

Of course, he tried to use ProtoComm to give himself something to do – anything to take his mind off of what he had left behind. The ruse hadn't worked. Though he had spent several days ferreting out information about Bill's upcoming agenda, Jase had found little to help him beyond the word Shan. An internet search had turned up several possibilities for the meaning of the word, all pointing to Asia, but none conclusive. So far, his attempt at distracting himself had proven futile.

The suitcase offered a successful diversion for a couple of hours, but after successfully tapping into Drew's laptop, Jase discovered the Team's imminent move to Boston, and that distraction evaporated with the other. No doubt someone in the company had determined that the whole Team would need to relocate in order to reestablish covert status in light of Liam's treachery. Of course, the move boded well for Nessa, as no one involved with ProtoComm would know her whereabouts. Jase had taken great pains to ensure that none of Bill's men would think her worth another thought, so most likely, Bill would not try to keep track of her.

Boston, he pondered for a moment, though he knew he shouldn't. A forty-minute plane ride. Too close to ensure that Jase would behave himself, and he seriously considered fleeing the country just to put some space between him and the woman Nessa Santiago.

That thought more than any other reignited his interest in Bill Henry – Asia seemed as far away as he could go. If Jase sat watching Nessa, knowing that he could so easily access her, he might let temptation draw him to check on her in person. He had successfully resolved on only one thing in recent history - keep Nessa safe – and giving into his wishes to see her would undermine all of his self-imposed abnegation. Plus, after what he had done, he had no guarantee that Nessa would take him back.

Despite his personal lack of interest, Jase had to put his mind to work at something, so he switched off his now-worthless monitors and began to bury himself in strategy concerning ProtoComm. After skimming through the web summaries for fifty pages, Jase sat back and stared at the ceiling for inspiration. He did have one lead that might enlighten the Asian words, and it seemed both too obvious and too simple to be of significance. Bill held a vast personal property in Asia, one of four international locations where he kept a residence.

The first property stood about eighty miles outside of New York City, though Jase doubted that Bill ever occupied that home now that the U.S. government had a reward on his head. Bill's Banff, Alberta property had come to the attention of the media after he kidnapped and held Felicity Miller near there. As best Jase could guess, Bill now occupied his residence near Paris full-time, though the ProtoComm president stayed as actively involved in his corporation as he ever had. Asia, though, spoke of something different for Bill. Asia spoke of Thailand, a Shangri-La of sorts where Bill held an estate the size of a small country. Too, Bill enjoyed near dictatorial power over his workers there, and he held the ear of the king, who wanted to encourage Western development and entice Western money.

Jase believed that Bill would have preferred to live in Thailand, but doing so would complicate his ability to run operations with ProtoComm. Though Jase could find nothing of significance regarding “Shan” in Thailand, he had stumbled upon several counties in China that bore the name, as well as a city and a river. Again, nothing spoke directly of Thailand, but if Bill wanted to undertake some business in China, he would definitely set up headquarters at his home near Chang Mai, only a helicopter ride from its northern neighbor.

Just base speculation. What good would he achieve by jetting off to Thailand to look at a property that may or may not hold any significance? I would get away from Nessa, he assured himself. So, Jase did not really have a codified game plan. The best he could do for the moment was to call Thomas and reserve the plane for a few days before the date on the calendar.

Of course, Jase knew that his China theory had several holes in it, such as China's lack of need for Bill's kind of services or the fact that the name Ang San did not sound particularly Chinese. Still, what harm could a trip to China cause? Only a little cash and time. Jase didn't care about the former, and he wanted to waste as much of the latter as he could manage. Sighing in resignation, Jase turned back to his laptop to contact Thomas

You're a hard man to find, a message popped unexpectedly up onto Jase's laptop screen.

With his recent experience during Briel's ordeal, shock couldn't really describe his mood at seeing the words on the screen. More like anger at the invasion of his well-guarded privacy. For a moment, he considered chucking his laptop out the window, but then he recognized in the message perhaps an even greater diversion than ProtoComm. Certainly more substantial than a random Asian word.

After all this work, surely, we deserve some sort of response, continued the message followed by, We've worked really hard to figure out how to contact you.

The light nature of the communication calmed Jase's ire a tad, and a suspicion formed in his mind. He had seen the syntax before.

How in the hell did you find me? Jase pressed, wanting at least to look irritated.

I'm the best, the words came back, and Jase felt even more assured in his previous suspicion of their source: Nick. Don't worry, though. Just because I could find you doesn't mean that anyone else could.

I'm kind of busy. You'll have to get back to me, Jase asserted.

Hold on, there. We need to talk. We only waited this long because I was waiting for you to get your head on straight. Briel tried to make me contact you immediately, Nick insisted.

Since he knew Briel's disdain for drama, Jase couldn't help but find her urgency curious.

Jase: Why would you want to contact me? I'm back on the other side. I'm working for Bill.

Nick: To quote my better half, “that's crap.” You could no more go back to work for him than I could. Now, if you'll stop stalling, we needed to let you know something important.

Jase gritted his teeth. If Nick and Briel could so easily discount Jase's story, would others? Others like those who had targeted Nessa?

Nick: Apparently, when we didn't finish that loose end in France, we left some very determined opposition uncontained.

Jase: Loose end?

He didn't really need clarification. Ever since Jase had returned from overseas, his failure had haunted him. He would even have suspected Liam of swiping Nessa's belongings if not for the impossibility of the prospect. No way could someone as obvious as Liam sneak around the highly trained Team without drawing notice. Apparently, though, Liam had resurfaced, and with Jase out of touch with Nessa, the prospect boded ill.

It's too complicated to explain here. Just come see us, and we'll talk, Nick insisted. He seemed unwilling to divulge too much over the computer, and considering how much havoc hacking had wreaked on Nick's life, Jase couldn't blame the man. We're off the map, so you won't risk exposure. Besides, the old ball and chain wants to talk to you in person.

Jase imagined that Briel would offer Nick a stiff punch in the arm for that comment. Don't you dare respond to that! came an inexplicable warning. Inexplicable until the vision rose before Jase of tiny Briel wrenching the keyboard from the monstrous Nick and socking the man in the arm. Despite himself, Jase smiled.

Where do I go? he queried reluctantly. Under usual circumstances, Jase wouldn't have considered acceding to their request, especially after working so hard to extrapolate himself from that world, but he couldn't get one thought out of his mind. If, for some reason, his initial instinct in France proved correct, then Liam would target Nessa, and in that case, Jase had been a fool to leave her. Not only that, but all his self-denial had served no purpose.

I don't have time for this, he hedged, testing Nick to gauge the urgency of the situation. I've got important stuff going on here. Besides, coming to meet you might expose me, and I can't afford that.

So much for leaving Nessa behind; he hadn't stopped monitoring her since he had left, and now that an excuse arose, he was ready to jump up and throw the past week's separation in the garbage. He had tried to convince himself that he hadn't really care for Nessa, that she had been a diversion. Now, though, the intensity of his reaction betrayed the truth that he already knew. Nessa had never been a diversion; in fact, she had sent Jase into a spiral, and he hadn't managed to recover.

I have learned my lesson from my last mistake, Nick insisted. And there's pretty much no way I'm compromised. I'm sending you a link. It's encrypted, but you'll need to wipe the memory once you've looked at it, because I don't want anyone following you out to our place.

I'm not an idiot, Jase countered, riled at the irony in the words.

Obviously, Nick allowed, and a link popped up on Jase's screen.

Even with his personal misery, Jase almost laughed when the map opened onto the screen. Ironically, Nick had moved from tropical paradise to quasi-Siberia, from swimsuits to snow boots. Though the location lay in Canada, it stood not too far from the U. S. border and enjoyed all the amenities of its southerly neighbor. They'll be cold, but they won't be deprived, Jase smirked.

I'll be there in less than twenty-four hours, he informed the pair.

I have to warn you, the message came before Jase could log off. You're visiting the guest house of my relatives. You probably don't want to come barging to the front door.

Jase's stomach clutched with dread as he considered their words. Of course, he reasoned. Nick was Felicity's brother, and where better to stash someone like Briel than an already established safe-house. Nessa had almost driven Felicity out of Jase’s mind, but he couldn’t help a thrill when he thought of seeing her. As if Jase needed more evidence that he was not a good man.

Not a good man, he admitted to himself. Then again, he had never claimed benevolence as one of his more distinctive characteristics. Intelligence? Yes. Resourcefulness? Yes. Goodness? Not even remotely, thus the strangeness of his attraction to the women he had recently encountered.

Opposites attract, he mocked himself. What business did he have inserting himself back into Nessa's life uninvited, especially after he had worked so hard to extricate himself? Not back into Nessa's life, he assured himself. Just meeting Briel.

The blinking words on the screen interrupted his reverie.

Are you still there? the monitor read.

I'm still here, he answered.

Then get moving! came the command. Apparently Briel still held the keyboard. You need the intelligence we offer you regardless of how smart you think you are.

Though he had almost smiled at Briel's attitude, Jase frowned at the intent of the statement. What intelligence? Up until that point, neither of them had explained why they wanted to meet him. What if they knew something that could help him with Bill? Possibly. Perhaps they knew something about Liam's new employment with ProtoComm. In the back of his mind, though, Jase worried and hoped that they would tell him something that would drag him back into Nessa's life.

Fine, he finally conceded to the computer. Twenty-four hours. Are you sure your computer isn't compromised? I don't want to lead anyone to your family.

He really has learned loads since our last encounter, came Briel's explanation. He watched some videos on the Internet.

Jase couldn't help laughing at Briel's humor, probably because the thought of the visit made him a little giddy. Finally, he could connect to the only life he had actually enjoyed since Meg's death. He had forced himself to leave it behind, but it hadn't left him for a moment.

As he boarded the plane for Canada, though, his elation fled. He couldn't suppress the vision of Nessa which arose in his mind. He couldn't eradicate the stabbing in his gut whenever he remembered how Drew's hand had brushed against Nessa's so many times during the week he had watched them. At least Nessa had restrained Drew from any overt expression of affection. No kisses. No embraces. Nothing that belied any true attachment. He also could not forget his helplessness as he watched the bullet speed toward Nessa's head. From as long as he could remember, Jase had never felt so divided.

Before the evening had passed, Jase found himself lolling against the plane's wall and staring out the window. Within two hours, he stared into the faces of Nick and Briel.

“Another island, huh?” he offered after directing his rented boat past the rocky shore and wandering up the winding path through the maple and walnut trees. The sheer height of the woods dwarfed Jase, evoking memories of childhood fairy tales and surreal, unnatural aspects as he looked up through the distortion of the soaring branches.

“Not quite a tropical paradise,” Briel responded coyly, “but cozier.”

Despite his apparent nonchalance, Jase couldn't relax the tightness in his shoulders as he neared the residence of the woman he had only recently believed himself in love with. He no longer lived under the delusion that he loved Felicity, but his recent self-assessment had unveiled a conscience that had grown into a true bête noire, and Jase wanted nothing more than to forget the entire past three months of his life, including Felicity Miller. He realized the nervous source of the thoughts as he peered sideways at the house where she lived. No, he couldn’t deny how much he had cared. Instead, he had to cut that part of his life off to keep the pain at bay. He was slightly surprised to sense that his pain had eased, his memories with Felicity taking on the rosy hue of France. Jase breathed deeply, pained but relieved to realize that he had moved on.

“Come in,” Nick smiled, and Briel stepped out of the way so Jase could pass into the snug cabin which served as the guest house to a much larger Acadian farm occupied by Felicity and her children.

“What's going on?” Jase wondered, a bit more irritation leaking into his tone than he intended.

Briel opened the conversation. “Well,” she seemed to hesitate. “Nick didn't feel comfortable relinquishing all hold on information regarding the team after we left.”

“Understandable,” Jase agreed.

Obviously, we wanted to keep tabs on Liam, considering his designs for me. We've had little luck with him, but while we were digging for intel on him, we stumbled on some information regarding ProtoComm. I was able to strip some data off of that computer we found in Liam's backpack from France. We saw a communique between Liam and Jack Buckley regarding an upcoming job that involved Bill directly.” Nick paused for emphasis. “According to Jack, Bill is organizing some sort of large business transaction in Asia. I haven't been able to pinpoint the exact nature of the business or the location in which it will take place, but the travel arrangements Jack has explored fall in the next couple of weeks.”

Good thing Jase had already booked the plane.

“Do you think Bill will involve himself directly?” Jase queried innocently.

Briel spoke up, “That's my suspicion. Bill owns property in the region, you remember.”

“Yes, I remember,” Jase tried not to sound too bored. Had he really traveled all this way for confirmation of what he already suspected? A phone call would have sufficed.

“With the frequency and size of the transmissions between Jack's organization and the IP address overseas, I would guess that they are transferring a considerable amount of data between groups.”

“I'm grateful for the information, Nick, Briel. I had suspicions along these lines myself, so you have confirmed for me something that I had considered pursuing before today's meeting.”

“I'd hoped we could give you something the Team can use,” Briel offered. “I don't plan on helping out physically until Liam is caught, but I hate to feel completely incompetent to offer any service.” She smiled at Nick who held her hand affectionately. “It's a life saver to have Nick's skills with the computer. I feel a little less useless.”

“Don't let it go to your head,” Nick corrected. “I think you're entirely useless.”

Briel punched Nick lightly in the arm.

“That phone call to Amélie was ingenious, by the way.” Briel's comment caught Jase entirely off guard with her sudden change of subject.

Surprised, he had to think back to realize that Briel referred to her rescue, and he deflected the praise. “Well, I can't take too much credit. It was, as usual, Nick's idea, though he didn't know what he had discovered. When he realized that Liam had been monitoring your conversations, Nick planted a virus back on Liam's computer and monitored Liam's conversations with Bill and Amélie. That's how he figured out the Millers needed to move and decided to go after Amélie. I just knew the best means for affecting her.”

“Yeah, he is pretty amazing,” Briel stared vapidly at the wall above Jase's head.

“He's lying anyway,” Nick accused. “The whole thing was his idea.” Jase let the statement stay, his stomach for argument suddenly fleeing.

Though he had grown accustomed to Nick's easy playfulness with Briel, Jase couldn't ignore the pang of longing that gripped him as he watched their exchange. He wanted to beat his head against the wall at the fact that he envied them. In the past, Jase had never wavered; he had prided himself in his detachment and his adaptability. Now, though, Jase had found himself tied down to a desire, something that gripped him and wouldn't let him go. Someone, he corrected. Maybe he should have taken advantage of his proximity to Felicity…but he found he didn’t really want to.

When Nick absconded to the kitchen for a drink, Jase ventured a question that he would not have dared ask with him present.

“So,” Jase nudged Briel, “what are you going to do?” Though he wanted to ask more directly, Jase had to approach the topic subtly. He couldn't let Briel see how much he cared about her answer. His story had so much in common with hers: a person who wanted control, relinquishing that control for a sentimental purpose. He felt a very real danger of falling to her fate, but he couldn't guarantee a similar outcome. Briel had one advantage on him: character. “I don't see you retiring to a tropical island just yet,” he prompted.

Briel laughed. “The Millers had to move, remember? We live at the North Pole now.”

“Quebec is not the North Pole,” he pressed, his attitude reflecting the seriousness he felt for the topic. “Besides, you're avoiding my question. Are you planning on retiring to stay home and play with infants or what?”

A curious glint entered Briel's eye, as if she could see past Jase's nonchalance to the intensity of the underlying question. He found insightful people incredibly irritating of late. “Not yet,” she clarified. “Nick can find a job anywhere, and I’ve put feelers out with the CIA. They could send me on an overseas assignment that would keep Liam off my trail for a while. Besides, you know I can't retire until Liam is captured.”

So, she didn't plan on giving up everything. “And Nick's okay with all this?” Jase wondered. Jase had seen how tethered most committed couples seemed. Had Briel accepted the limitations just for Nick, and would he accept them for her?

“Nick will do whatever it takes to keep me safe,” Briel smiled wistfully. “You can understand that, I know.”

Sly woman, Briel, redirecting the conversation. Now she spoke, not of her sacrifices for Nick, but of Jase's desire to protect Nessa. Well, since she had brought it up, he might as well delve in. “How did this happen, Briel?” he ventured bravely. “I mean, you and Nick...” He trailed off. Did he really think Briel would have an answer?

If the question intimidated Briel, she didn't show it. Instead, she seemed amused, as if she spoke to a timid child. “Are you hoping you don't catch it?”

“Actually,” Jase hesitated. He wanted to resent her condescension, but he almost felt as if he deserved it, as if he had missed something obvious. Instead of asking the real question, he threw out a less revealing question. “I wondered how you knew about Nick. Did you meet him and just know? Or was there something else?”

“I would say first of all, maybe you have overplayed romance in its role of giving you companionship.” She paused to pin him with her gaze.

“Hardly seems accurate coming from you right now.” Jase laughed.

“Nick and I…” Briel smirked. “Yes, it is very romantic. But I can honestly tell you that the most important relationship I have had in my adult life was with Nessa. Her friendship brought me out of my cage.”

“And secondly?” Jase didn’t really need this lecture. He had rejected the ideal of some great romantic love for the much more practical idea of animal attraction during his short excursion into higher education. Romance was a drug. But that certainly didn’t explain what he had seen from Felicity or Nick or Briel. Or even Nessa.

She seemed to hesitate, as if she didn’t look forward to what she was about to say. “Secondly, you can’t have that kind of relationship right now.”

Pow! Just that simple. Just like Briel. “What is that supposed to mean?” he growled.

“If you want that kind of relationship, people have to trust you. And if you want people to trust you, you have to invest in them.” She shrugged. “Prove that you love them as much as you love yourself. I’ve seen hints, but they are just a brushstroke in a confusing piece of art.”

Briel was a pretty smart woman, and she didn't use words lightly. He would have to consider what she said. Sure, he had no trouble foregoing the romance to find friends, but then again, that would likely mean doing without Nessa. Proving he was trustworthy, though? That one would be much more difficult, and he had to decide if it was worth it. Worth it for him, but also worth it for the people he wanted to trust him. Maybe it was better for them if they didn’t count on him just in case he couldn’t pull through. He was still trying to decide how thoroughly he wanted to.

You did it because you have a noble heart, she had asserted. Your first reaction was to protect the innocent, and though I think you worked from misguided conceptions, I think that is how you have always worked. Nessa had spoken the words, and Jase had let them roll off of him. Looking at them now, though, made him sick. What would happen to her if she expected him to show up with this noble heart, and the real, selfish, indulgence Jase showed up instead. She would have counted on him. And she would suffer for it.

“Thanks for your honesty, Briel,” he offered. His thanks seemed to shock her, and the response brought a grin to his face. Apparently, she had expected him to feel offended. “Believe it or not, I think that answers my question.”

“You're my friend, Jase. It's taken me a long time to be able to say that, but it's true now.” With uncharacteristic demonstration, Briel reached for Jase's hand and squeezed it affectionately. “I sincerely hope you can find as much satisfaction in your life as I have.”

“You're kind, Briel.” He tried not to laugh at the foolishness of the idea. “But I don't foresee that future for me. I was sabotaged before I began.”

“I don't think you've been sabotaged,” Briel pressed. “I think you're just deceived.”

A distinct possibility, Jase knew, since he had missed so many truths that others saw as obvious. “At least I know I'll always have an honest friend,” he diverted.

“That is very true,” she agreed with a laugh. “I am your friend. And I'm certainly not afraid to slap you in the face with reality.”

Guilt prodded gently in Jase’s gut, reminding him of his dishonesty when he was trying to manipulate her into helping with Felicity. It was too small a thing to confess and ask forgiveness, but maybe he could throw her an acknowledgement. “Looks like you’ve found the perfect climate after all this time.”

With a shockingly loud laugh, Briel slapped him on the arm. “You know, that was the stupidest code language. We were basically playing ‘hotter and colder’ with spy words.”

“It was pretty dumb. And you know I was a jerk to insult you back in Phoenix.”

“Once I saw you in Banff, I wrote it off as insanity. You were pathetically desperate, and you lashed out like a child because you knew I wouldn’t really hurt you.”

Abruptly, Nick returned from the kitchen and, setting down the drink he had obviously procured in his absence, he wrapped Briel up in a rib-crunching hug. Though the embrace would have injured a lesser woman, Briel merely laughed. “You are out of control, Nick,” she accused.

Instead of responding, Nick turned to Jase. “Well, I came to warn you,” Nick offered without levity. “My sister just returned from town, and I don’t think anyone is ready for that meeting.”

“Uh, yeah. I should go,” his lips smiled even as real happiness eluded him. “Congratulations,” he added weakly. Jase still couldn't believe that the two had so quickly jumped into marriage, but shared trials superseded time in strengthening bonds. Perhaps they had just found an unusual connection. All Jase knew was that when they wed, two of his only living friends would move into a realm that he couldn't understand - if they hadn't already gone there.

“Say hello to Nessa for me,” Briel threw at him as he reached the door. A pang of guilt mixed with longing assaulted Jase, but he repressed it. “She's welcome to come visit,” Briel continued. “I don't leave on assignment until two months after the wedding, so that gives her plenty of time. No excuses.”

“If I see her, I'll tell her,” Jase felt his face scrunch with his mixed emotions.

“I thought you saw her every day?”

“Well,” he awkwardly avoided Briel's eyes. “I've been out of town for a while, but I should see her when I get back to Boston.”

“Um, okay. I really miss her, though.”

Me, too, Jase agreed silently. Aloud, he only said, “I'm sure she misses you, too. I promise, I'll let her know next time I talk to her.” With those words, Jase Hamilton smiled at Nick and Briel and turned away from them both, obscuring himself in the forest that abutted and enveloped the Miller property.

Once he felt assured of his solitude, Jase stood upright behind a tree, leaning his back against it and inhaling deeply of the cold, clean air. Sliding around the trunk, he stared at Felicity as she and her children clambered up the walkway into their home. If he had seen her a week before, Jase had no doubt that he would have started scheming his way back into her life. Watching her with her kids, though, and after he had started to see a light beyond her, he realized how right she had been. He was not right for her, for the life she needed to make for her children. The realization stabbed painfully at some deep spot in his gut, but it hurt less than he would have thought, and his genuine happiness for her eased the ache more than he could have hoped. He had done the right thing.

Turning to retrace his steps to his car, he forced himself to think of nothing. If he let himself think, he might go back.