《Change My Heart, Change My World, Change Me》Chapter 25
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I was killed by my own Uncle. No, really, I was freaking killed by my own Uncle! What? No way!
I feel dizzy. He was, is my own Uncle and he killed me. Darn, my head! Stupid Arzen making me feel like this. That stupid Prince! How did he end up like that anyway? I was sure it was the after effect of time travel, but he seemed not to remember the past at all. Who are you really, Arzen?
Find Kii's notes he said. It will help Kii, he said. Stupid Prince! You forgot to tell me that it will turn my world over as well. Oh, and why the hell you didn't mention that what I know right now will also change, huh? That fucking stupid Arzen never stop giving me a headache! How the hell he manage that even when he was so far away from me?
Kii...
Kii has been protecting me all this time and in the past too. I never found out before. No wonder he killed me. My uncle killed me. How should I take that?
Kii, a family is you. I don't need a mother if by having her means that I will lose you. You died taking the secret with you. Kii, I thought I love you more, I thought that I was protecting you and making you happy but it was me that was protected, wasn't it? What did I ever do for the world to deserve a sister like you?
Kii, I'm your big brother, I born 11 minutes before you. I should be the one that protected you.
How did my day turn out like this? It was such a good day this morning. We, (Father, Nii-sama, Nee-sama, and I) come back together from the capital. We were welcomed in our house warmly. We even had a nice talk over lunch. I remembered it clearly.
A few hours ago
"How was your expedition?" Father was asking us.
"Great! The beastmen are fun" I answered him.
"Indeed, it was a nice experience" Nii-sama added with Nee-sama nodded along with him.
"Midori-chan also had a good time?" Mother asked
"Yes, it was an amazing experience" Nee-sama confirmed.
"Do you think we will able to form an alliance with them, Akai? Father asked
"As long as we are open-minded and don't belittle them, we are fine. They are warm and nice companions when you got to know them more" Nii-sama said with a smile.
"I'm glad to hear that. You're graduating this year, have you thought what will you do before you inherit my title?" Father asked again.
"Yes, I was thinking to gain experience alongside Arren. Maybe I will become his aide. He seems to always busy and we have the same interests. I am sure it will become a valuable experience for me" Nii-sama answered.
Father nodded satisfied at Nii-sama answer then turning to Nee-sama and I asking the same question.
"I was scheduled to attend the same class as Kii. They say if I am going to be Arren-san future wife I also need to learn and prepare myself about how to be a queen. Thought I still confused as to why I have to do that as Arren-san and Arzen-san never compete about the crown" Nee-sama answer in puzzlement.
I was also wondering about that. I asked Kii but her answer was it is because Arzen is going to be a pirate and go on adventures. What kind of answer is that?
Mother was nodding with a satisfied smile but Father was not satisfied yet it seems.
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"They?" he asked
"Kii-chan, Arzen-san and Arren-san. The three of them insist that I also attend the class" Nee-sama confirmed.
"I see. I am glad you got along with them" Father smiled.
Nee-sama ducked her head in embarrassment but she seems happy to receive Father approval.
Father also has changed. In the past, he never cares about us. Okay, maybe he cared but he was bad at showing it. He never asked us about our plan in the future or about our feeling. He lets Mother handle us. Hmmm, wonder what happens to him?
This past day, I seem to wonder a lot, don't I?
Turning to me, Father asked "What about you, Aoi? I know it's still early for you but do you have anything in mind?"
"I do actually. I've decided that I'm going to be a mage. I aimed to be a royal mage in order to protect Arren Nii-sama" I told him.
I've been thinking about this in a long time. It was actually Kii's idea and I like it. Arzen, even with his title as a Crown Prince doesn't need anyone to protect him. He is already strong by himself and stronger when Kii is with him. I won't need to protect Kii either. Well, I will still protect her happiness but outside of that? I'm ashamed to admit that Kii is stronger than me.
It was Arzen's fault but I was satisfied. It doesn't matter if I'm weaker than Kii. As long as Kii is able to protect herself, I will be okay with anything.
Besides, Arren Nii-sama has been my comrade since we were little kids and he is nice, so yeah, that was the reason why I want to protect him.
"What Aoi-chan? You will leave me too? You won't help me at all? Shouldn't it be me that you decide to protect? I'm your brother!" Nii-sama said in an exaggerate voices.
I rolled my eyes. Nee-sama giggled at his silliness.
"That is the reason I don't follow Nii-sama anymore. You're as bad as Arzen. Besides, Nii-sama doesn't need protection same as Kii and we will work together anyway. If I become Arren Nii-sama mage then I will be able to protect Nee-sama too after she marries Arren Nii-sama" I explained.
"I know, I know," Nii-sama said while messing my hair.
"Nii-sama!" I said, stopping his hands.
Mother was looking at us strangely. Looking between the giggling Nee-sama, a laughing Nii-sama and a scowling me, while Father looking at us with a fond expression.
"What do you think about The Ethervizh's people?" Father asked me tentatively.
"Hmm, they were okay," I told him carelessly.
I mean, I was wary of the mage but he didn't have a reason to hurt me. Yet.
"Do you like them?" Father asked again.
I was wondering why Father seems to be fixed about my feeling toward The Ethervizh, now I understand.
"Hmm? They're fine, I guess?" I answered again.
"You guess?" Father said sceptically.
"Dear, Aoi-san is tired after the expedition, maybe we can talk about this next time," Mother told Father with something hidden in her voice.
Father looked at her for a while. We all, I noticed that Nii-sama and Nee-sama also doing the same thing, hold our breaths. Father always did what Mother wants but we saw something different in Father's expression at that time.
"I see. Sorry, it is not something to talk about at the dining table." Father finally said.
We breathed in relief. We didn't know why we were relieved, we just did.
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"I am glad you understand, Dear," Mother said with a smiling tone.
We thought it would be like usual, but Father was not finished.
"Come to my office tonight, Aoi. We need to talk. I would prefer if Kii is also heard, but she is not here so I will let you be the one to tell her later." Father told me.
I was confused. Father never asked me to have a talk with him let alone includes Kii too. Nii-sama seems to have an idea what is this about, though. I wonder what it about.
"Dear!" Mother exclaimed as I nodded my head to Father.
"I've decided and it's final," Father said sternly.
"But..." Mother tried again.
"It's final," Father said with a nonsense voice.
Mother must have seen in his expression that his decision can't be changed anymore, she turned her face with an unhappy expression on it.
"Ahem, anyway we still have another important thing to discuss, don't we?" Father continues.
"If it is to find out where Kii-chan went, we actually met her and Arzen-san at the beastmen's territory. They left us again the next morning, though. But I'm sure Aoi-san knew where they headed to, don't you Aoi-san?" Nee-sama asked me.
"Kii-chan?" Mother muttered.
It must be a shock to her, hearing Nee-sama called Kii that. She used to call her Kii and Kii only but now she has been fond of calling her Kii-chan likes Arren Nii-sama does.
"Well, I maybe know or I maybe don't," I told her with a smile which Nee-sama returns with an eye roll.
"We all know you do, Aoi-chan" Nii-sama teased.
I scowled at him, he had been following Arzen's path in teasing me with that awful honorific.
Mother was looking at us with a confused gaze. We never teased each other before, we were such a strict and boring sibling, weren't we? While Father seems to happy with our development in siblingsness? Jeez, is that even a word? It seems that I've been contaminated by Arzen's virus.
"I won't confirm that," I told him sulkily.
"Now, now, it would be nice to know where Kii is right now, but it was not what I mean when I said another important thing," Father said, stopping our argument.
"May I inquire what do you mean then, Father?" Nii-sama asked.
"It's about the engagement between Prince Arren and Midori, of course," Father said with a smile.
"Have you read the contract and decide if it is enough for your liking, Midori?" Father said again, turning to Nee-sama.
"Yes, Father. Everything is alright. I am satisfied with it" Nee-sama said with a blush decorating her face.
"Hemp! Indeed, It is good enough, though I still think that Midori-chan is more suitable to be The Crown Prince, Arzen-sama fiancee rather than Kii, Midori-chan is far more elegant than Kii but being The first Prince's fiancee is also more than good enough" Mother commented.
The rest of her speech went unheard by us because as soon as she said the words 'more suitable' and 'Arzen' in the same sentence with Nee-sama's name, Nii-sama was busy choking on his own spit, Nee-sama's eyes were wide with horror and her mouth open and closed, unable to utter any word. Me? I was busy to control my own laugh.
Arzen has become a brother-like to Nee-sama, saying that he is more suitable for her is the same as saying she is better marrying me.
Do you understand? In Nee-sama eyes, Arzen position is the same as me. Her little brother.
Besides, Nee-sama is in love with Arren Nii-sama and she loves Kii more, it is still unbelievable for me, but this Nee-sama put Kii's happiness on top of her own. So, there is no way she would steal her beloved Kii fiance.
And, we (Nee-sama, Nii-sama and I) know that no one can match Arzen's craziness besides Kii.
Nee-sama is a delicate lady, she wouldn't able to follow Arzen track of mind and action. Don't ask about Kii, we just realised recently that Kii is just as crazy as Arzen. So yeah, they are more than suitable for each other.
"Akai-san, are you alright?" Mother asked Nii-sama.
Nii-sama nodded his head as I patted his back.
"I am fine, Mother. I don't think Midori is the right one for Arzen" Nii-sama said then in a small voice he added "I will die of worry if Midori is with Arzen. Only Kii is strong enough"
"What do you mean, Akai-san? You're a bit mean to your sister, don't you think?" Mother said sternly.
"No Mother, I... uh... Arzen-san is... uh. " Nee-sama tried to says something.
"I don't think Midori wants to be with Prince Arzen" Father concluded.
"Of course she wants it! It was only because Kii stole it from her before that's why now Midori-chan choose Prince Arren" Mother said with a pitiful glance at Nee-sama.
I can feel the air tense in a sudden. Father looks at Mother with a grim expression.
"Mother, I never want to be with Arzen-san. Not before and certainly not now. I choose Arren-san because I want to be with him not because he is a Prince." Nee-sama told Mother softly.
"I don't know what happened between you and Kii, Midori-chan, but you're home now. You're safe. You can tell us what Kii has done to you to make you behave as this" Mother said back in a consoling manner.
Mother always blame Kii for everything. Why did she do that? I was about to explode in rage for Kii's sake when Nee-sama's soft voice beat me to it.
"All Kii-chan ever did is being there as my sister when I need her most. Nothing less nothing more. So, please don't keep blaming her. This matter is nothing to do with Kii-chan in the first place. Just... Please... It pains me to hear Mother said it was all Kii-chan fault" Nee-sama explained with a hint of tears in the corner of her eyes.
"Mother, Midori loves Arren and Kii loves Arzen. It just as simple as that. No conspiracy in between. Shouldn't we happy that both of them found someone they love and love them back as much?" Nii-sama tried to stop Mother for saying more.
"Even you, Akai-san? First Aoi-san, then Midori-chan even now Akai-san has also belittled me? your own mother for that girl?" Mother tells us in anger.
"What do you mean that girl?" I asked sharply. She talked about Kii as if Kii is a stranger and not her own daughter.
Mother opened her mouth to answer but Father has already had enough of our argument. He told us to go back to our own room while he would have a talk with Mother. The last thing I heard is Mother questioned Father about what is the point to make us leave if he was planning to tell us the truth anyway.
I wonder what was that about.
I understand it a few hours later.
All the questions finally answered. All the acts finally explained. Why Mother seems to hate Kii. No, it's not 'seems to' she really is hating her. What kind of Mother told a 5 years old kid that she can't love her because she thought her mother had stolen her husband?
Good grief, Kii was holding that burden in her past life? All alone knowing Mother doesn't love her and she has no family here? No wonder she told Arzen, The past Arzen, that she was unloved.
My goodness, just how blind was I?
Kii promised Mother to keep me out of it, is she even still can be called Mother?, she took me in just to spit on Kii, didn't she? To make Kii feel alone because she looks like our mother. The mother that we never had a chance to know. No wonder Kii was eager to go to The Ethervizh. That where our family were.
And Arzen knew it.
Stupid Arzen! Explain to me thoroughly about this kind of things you stupid Prince! Sigh. Thank you for giving me a clue, though I will tell you that. You still need a beating.
I wonder if Arzen knew that Kii's notes are mostly talked? Er... Wrote? About him. Their first kiss and what they do when they are alone. Sigh, I never knew that Arzen plans to give away the title to Arren Nii-sama.
Did father know about this?
Wait, Father! Is this what he wants to talk about with me and Kii? That's mean that he thought Kii still doesn't know.
Ether-sama... Was Mother even ever really love me as her son?
I decided to ask Father about it right away. When I arrived, Father was sitting on his chair with one hand messaging his head. His talk with Mother, no she is no Mother, with her didn't go well.
"Aoi?" he greeted.
"The one you want to talk about, it is the topic about my mother?" I asked him. "Mine and Kii's real mother?" I added.
"How?" Father said in surprised.
"I read Kii's diary and found out. Mother told her when she was five. She would never tell me if I didn't read it. Is that why Mother always been unfair to Kii?" I told him.
"What!!!" Father yells in anger. "Tell me everything, Aoi!" He then demanded.
So I did. I told him how Kii is always been left out. How mother never includes her in anything (it wasn't because Kii is refusing? I thought Kii is just too shy that's why she never speaks of coming with us to a ball. Father exclaimed). By the end of my story, Father was sighing heavily and told me in a regretful voice.
He said he was still trying to find out the real cause of our mother death that's why he left everything in the house to Mother. Mother is also aware of this and they have an agreement to tell us after we graduate. The reason is that they don't want us to feel left out if we knew mother was not really our mother, but it was pointless if Kii been told since she was young.
Father said he was a failure. I was glad to know that father was always cared for us, for Kii, but I can't find a word to console him. He said he planned to tell us now because he found out that we are going to The Ethervizh for vacation, he knew if we go there we will find out anyway and he wants us to find it out from his own mouth rather than from other people words.
He said he doesn't think that he can speak calmly with mother after knowing this, and ask me about my plan.
I told him that I will talk to Nii-sama and Nee-sama and then go back to Academy right away. I said I want a space but actually, I want to read Kii's other notes. What? I will just blame Arzen if Kii finds out. I need to know in Kii's perspective on how Arzen is. If he really treating her well.
So then I cry on Nii-sama shoulder. Yeah, I cried. For Kii. I told them that it was not fair that Kii has to suffer alone. They keep apologising while I clinging on them. It's not their fault. They still our elder sibling. I still love them. Kii loves them even when she knew from the start. That seems to broke them too. So there we were three grown-up people, clinging on each other while bawling our eyes out.
I have never been glad to have elder siblings.
Today has been hectic. Here I was now, laying on Kii's dormitory bed and having a scare because I've just realised that the one that killed me in my past life is actually my uncle.
I was hoping that by reading Kii's diary my stressful mind will lessen. It was not.
Kii, pure, naive Kii is no more, but she was there. So yeah, when she was still pure and naive she wrote everything in her diary.
I am glad to know that Arzen loves her as much as she loves him, or even more but... Why the hell he needs to do this and that to Kii?
What? No! No way!
There is no way Kii is... But she was... She wrote it... And He was... Gah!!!!! Fucking Arzen! What the hell do you think you're doing to my sister?!
Goodness! I was a ladies man before, but even I don't, never keep my lover, woman or whoever spending the night with me up all night.
Arzen is crazy and Kii... Do you have to write it in details?
And what is this about Arzen is Ace? You've been calling him Ace since forever, Kii. Who the hell is Portgas D Ace? And what do you mean you're glad that they are the same person?
Kii, you write in detail something I don't want to know but wrote vaguely something that I want to know.
Beloved? You call him 'your beloved' in your diary? Not that it was a problem but... I am still pissed to find out what Arzen been doing to My Beloved Sister every night. Like, seriously? Every night! I told him not to corrupt Kii, but he just went and did what I asked him not to do!
Damn you Arzen!
I was a ladies man. I have been there. I used to play with women, but what Kii wrote about what you did to her even able to make me blush.
Damn you, stupid Prince!
I have been fuming since then. Nii-sama and Nee-sama think I still unhappy about our family situation but strangely I don't care much about it. I just can't wait to go to The Ethervizh to meet Arzen. There are so many questions that he needs to answer. Ah, don't forget about the beating that he needs to receive as well.
Don't you think that I will just let it slide after I found out just what you have been done to my sister. You dare to rob my pure sister and colour her in your craziness. You should prepare for the consequence.
And so, days passed by and by the time I meet him, I immediately gave him a nice and wonderful punch on his head.
Ah, finally! Time to get my answer! Get your crazy arse ready Arzen. I am far from finished. You still need to explain to me who the hell is this Portgas D Ace, or is it Gol D Ace?
I think it's time to have a talk with him. I need to know who really the person that dating my sister is. Is he the Arzen from the past or not. More importantly, I need to know this portgas person.
The attack seems to come as a surprise to them. Kii was calling out to him in surprise, my so-called uncle even readied himself for a battle. Arzen went down with a thud.
"What the hell?" he shouts when he found out it was me that attacked him.
I hurled him by his collar. "We need to talk" I hissed.
Arren Nii-sama sighed and went to talk to my uncle, Nee-sama follows him after sighing herself.
"How the hell you manage to piss him off even when you were far away from him?" Nii-sama said in amazement before he too went to follows Arren Nii-sama.
"Aoi-nii?" Kii questioned in worry.
"Kii, I need to talk with your beloved for a moment," I told her, empathise the word my beloved to her.
"Aoi-nii did you...." Kii trailed.
"I did. It was his idea" I told Kii.
Kii looking at him disappointedly. "Ace-kun..." She sighs.
Arzen is looking between us. "What? What did I do?" he asked?
I knew Kii is not angry but Arzen didn't. I smirk at him.
"Wait, wait, Kii..." he said.
Kii takes a look at him.
"You can have him, Aoi-nii. Do anything to him. Just please return him in one piece" Kii bowed.
"Kii!" Arzen called as I dragged him away after giving Kii a thumb up.
Kii waves her hand to him and smile.
Now, time to find out who the hell is this Arzen actually is.
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