《Proper Human Studies》Theory of Smell
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The High Taxonomist sniffed the air, and grimaced. The approaching male's genetic profile filled the air with unsavory differences. Normally, this meeting would take place by some form of electronic communication, but this was an emergency with implications for all the Lineages, and that meant immediate cooperation, no matter how bad it smelled.
The male grimaced too, of course. Partly this was only natural, only right, due to their differences, and partly it was misguided, due to his failure to recognize the inherent superiority of her tribe. Ah well. He would be useful, she would make use of him.
"You are the scout who recovered the creature?" she asked. Of course she knew he was supposed to be, but careful formalities had to be observed over such a genetic gulf as the one that lay here.
"Yes," he said, and stopped on the other side of the dissection table, keeping what she would magnanimously interpret as a respectful distance from her. "But I trust you know what a simplification that is. I am a scholar, doing field work for my exalted Lineage's mighty corridor-infantry. In the three years since first contact with the human coalition, I have made their species my specialty."
"Exalted, yes," she said, and tried not to let too much sarcasm drip off the words. "You are primarily a cultural and psychological specialist?"
"I am competent in biology," he said dryly. "You can speak directly about the results of your investigations. If I do not understand a particular point, I will let you know."
Ah. That was good. She did not want to drag this out any longer than necessary. And he may even understand her before his translation implants kicked in, which could speed things up nicely. Scientific language was considered the one and only common-tongue-of-the-species. In principle, at least. Keeping it separate from common speech meant that Lineage-languages could more easily maintain their precious purity.
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Of course, that was often only in principle. She certainly had no intention of forgoing the use of glorious True Speech entirely. "I see. Very good. I believe I have found both an explanation for this species' appalling disregard for purity, and a case for General War upon them involving every Lineage of our own august species, from the highest races all the way down to the lowest."
He could not hide the entirety of his sneer at the not-so-subtle implications she'd let linger over "higher races." He'd know, of course, where she considered her own Lineage to sit on that scale. But he'd not ask where she though his had its place. There wasn't time for argument right now, let alone mortal combat. "Is that so? We have not waged General War in, what, a century and a half? What could possibly be the impetus for such a historic decision?
She put on the most triumphant expression she could. "They cannot smell properly!"
"Cannot smell properly? But they..." his words trailed off, and he looked at the body on the table. "Hmmm. I suppose you might be on to something there, given what we know of their society and..." he grimaced, looking away, "...customs."
"I have examined the neural network very carefully, along with the chemical-registration mechanisms of the creature's olfactory organs. Both are exceptionally weak. They rely almost entirely on sight and sound and feel to perceive their world. And! Most of all, they can only detect the most crude genetic differences. The simulations are clear. They'd have only a vague idea of genetic closeness without having to run artificial machine tests, and what little they can smell is generally subconscious and linked into the mating instinct."
"Uff, gross, do not remind me of their mating habits," he said. "From the histories I have pieced together, they have gotten much worse in this regard. Many of their societies once had careful mating rules and customs and attitudes to maintain purity of race and tribe and family but now...." he shook his whole torso in a gesture of general negation. "Granted, they have always had to observe a certain amount of genetic distance because of serious flaws in their whole reproductive scheme, or risk disastrous consequences over time."
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"Yes, yes, I'm aware the whole thing is frightfully complicated," she said loftily. "I've followed the same reports. It's complicated because they've made it complicated, they've bickered about it for centuries. Some of them still do, some of them have a touch of sanity but for the most part? They mate far across their own genetic oceans! And that's not all. They have befriended entirely different species. They keep them in their homes. They consider them..." she shuddered hard, as though ready to expel half an ill-advised meal, "family. Creatures...outside their own species. And don't get me started on the horrors of the practice they call adoption."
He took in a deep breath, and closed his eyes. "It's worse than you think, actually. Do you know how I managed to get my hands on an intact corpse like this? Normally they go to great pains to take their fallen with them, and since up til now we've only fought minor skirmishes with human forces, they've always succeeded. This time, though, they were forced to fight a desperate rearguard action. This creature..." he waved toward the table, "stayed behind to give the rest of her force time to get away. All of them were wounded."
"Well of course she did," the High Taxonomist said irritably. "Saving her brothers and sisters in arms. Even they use that expression."
"Yes," he said. "But that's just it. We recovered genetic information from the blood and tissue they all left behind. None of them were closely related. Not one. She sacrificed her life to save people whose genetic distance from herself was...vast."
Neither spoke for a long time.
"Such a ridiculous action," she said finally, and was silent again in the shadow of such great absurdity. But she gathered herself. "It all comes back to my discovery. They cannot smell properly. They do not understand their duties of Genetic Piety because they simply lack the senses for it. They are hopeless creatures. They will never learn proper behavior."
"I fear you are right. I will back your recommendation. General War. They cannot understand the true value of family? Of tribe? They must be destroyed. Now, let us get out of each other's noses as quickly as possible."
~
And so General War was declared, and General War was waged.
For about six months, before human provocateurs managed to shatter their fragile Lineage-alliances into a angry shards, and human forces mopped up the rest. And then the humans welcomed some of the defeated into their coalition, here and there, those who had learned to savor differing smells rather than turn away. Some of the humans protested, but they were outvoted and ridiculed by their fellows who, after all, could not properly smell.
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Grave Digger Gary
Where is the last place you want to be when the zombie apocalypse begins?In a cemetary, digging a grave, of course - which is exactly where Gary finds himself when his world is abruptly initiated into the multiverse. And that's just the start of his problems. Due to a technical error, Gary doesn't get the same character sheet and upgrades as everyone else. Nope. Instead, Gary gets classified as one of the undead. He's a zombie now - except, Gary didn't die. And he doesn't want to, either!A LitRPG/Gamelit story of what happens when one man armed with a shovel takes on the undead hordes threatening to overrun his reality. Combines zombie apocalypse horror with pen and paper style RPG game mechanics. Updates are Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at just after 6PM UK time / 11AM PT / 1PM EST . I've set up a Patreon account here: https://www.patreon.com/gravediggergary if you'd like to support the story and read up to 15 chapters ahead. All support is very much appreciated! The underlying system on which the story runs is a work in progress (like the story itself!) so there may be adjustments to character sheets etc as the novel rolls out. Spelling and grammar are British English unless I mess up in which case it's just gobbledygook (please feel free to point out any typographical mistakes or obvious errors, I appreciate it!)Finally, this story is cross-posted on Scribblehub. And I think that's everything! Thanks for reading!All content copyright Robert Thorne 2021
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