“Whatever,” said Jake as he pushed past all the welcome backs in the office.

“You’re even less sociable today than normal,” said Green_Turtle_Boy_369. “Why didn’t you stay in bed?”

“I need to make a phone call.”

“What? I thought you were scared of phones.”

It was true. If there was any alternative to talking, Jake took it. He knew that this conversation would be far easier on the phone though. And it would be quicker. And less traceable.

“Yes, but I need to speak to FOG. The weather people. It’s very important.”

Green_Turtle_Boy_369 shrugged and left Jake to it.

* * *

“Eric!” called Mary-Jane.

“What? Why don’t you just leave me alone?” replied Eric. It was a Friday afternoon and once again Eric was quite drunk. The difference was that before Melissa left he had generally been a happyish drunk. His new secretary Mary-Jane was a nightmare. She had this horrible habit of doing work at work which meant that Eric was regularly given things to do. Secondly, she disapproved of his afternoon drinking, and didn’t even try to hide it. Thirdly, she just wasn’t as pretty as Melissa. Eric really wished he knew where Melissa was so that he could fire Mary-Jane.

“You’ll really want to take this call,” she said. “It’s Jake Spencer.”

“What?!” Eric spat. “Jake Spencer? What’s he doing calling me?”

“Come and find out.”

“Oh Mary, I’m really tired. I had four pints at lunch-time. Put him through in here.”

“I think we should all listen to this, if we can keep him on for a while we might be able to get a trace.”

“I think you should listen to your boss for a change,” said Eric. “Transfer him immediately.”

Mary-Jane shrugged and walked off. It was very unlikely they would get a good trace anyway, Crawk was a very long way away. Eric answered his phone.

“Jake?” said Eric.

“Yes. Is that Eric Smythe? My Mom told me to call you.”

“Yes it’s Eric. Your Mom? How did she get in touch with you?”

“Lapine Death Corps. I may have erm.. accidentally blocked her since though.”

Eric afforded himself a little smile. Rosemary plays Lapine Death Corps?! Is there anyone in the universe who is not on that game?

“I’d have blocked her as well. Doesn’t stop rattling, she gave me a right headache when she was here.”

Jake thought about telling Eric off, but conflict was not his forte.

“Anyway, I was ringing to tell you that I’m now the Crawk-King Leader of War. With my help we can win this war and then you’ll know that I didn’t start it.”

Eric’s mind began to race.

“Jake, I’ve got a fool-proof plan. I’m already setting up an ambush, but with your inside help it will be even easier. Tell your captains that you have used your contacts to find out where our ships are. I will tell you in a minute, but more importantly, this is where you need to send the Crawkling ones.”

Jake smiled. He had put it in his job application that he would, but he was officially now committing treason.