Jake as we already know, hated company. The main reason he hated company though was because he never had any. One social interaction was one too many if you were having it with Jake, and after years of rejection Jake had become very bitter. So bitter that he truly believed that he didn’t need anyone in his life. Especially girls. Jake had never had a girlfriend, and although secretly he desperately wanted one, he couldn’t possibly create a chink in his self-exclusion for society just for a girl.

It had been quite difficult for him with all of these Crawkling girls though. One in particular, Jaska, had been particularly forward. After he damaged his leg, he had been taken to a cinema room where Jaska had laid out all of his favourite takeaways within easy reach of the settee. She had selected his favourite sci-fi movies and pre-loaded them onto the screen for him. She had asked, as the favour that he owed her for rescuing him from the over-amorous Leina, to stay and watch the first film with him. Reluctantly, Jake had agreed and she was no trouble.

Jake had quickly got into a routine, and straight after dinner he lay down to watch a film in the Screening Room. Jaska had quickly cottoned onto this, and despite the scribbled “STAY OUT” sign he had hung on the door, Jaska joined him half way through the film every day.

This afternoon, she had walked in wearing a particularly skimpy number which could barely be described as more than a bikini. Rolls of green, warty, sweaty flesh hung out everywhere, and bounced around as she walked. Jaska was a famous supermodel, and probably the most desirable woman in Crawk. In Crawk, the men were skinny and boney with big flabby heads. The attractiveness of a female was directly proportional to the number of rolls of fat she had. Jaska was really attractive.

As usual, Jake had greeted her warmly.

“What are you doing here? Didn’t you see the sign?”

“I did. It was a great idea, gives us plenty privacy. You’re so clever Jakey,” purred Jaska.

Jake was frustrated, he had put that sign up specifically to keep Jaska out. She kept ruining his films, it was such a distraction. Today though, he didn’t say anything as he knew it was pointless.

“Budge up a bit,” she said, resting her hand gently on Jake’s leg. He sat up quickly. Yesterday he hadn’t moved at all and Jaska had laid on top of him. As well as nearly crushing his rib cage and causing him to wheeze for a good twenty minutes, a position of such intimacy had frightened the life out of him. He couldn’t possibly risk that happening again.

Today, they sat next to each other and watched the film. Right to the end. Jaska only made one or two comments today, but twiddled with the wispy bits of Jake’s receding mullet haircut and kept trying to nuzzle up to him. Jake of course, sat up straight to push her away every time.

When it finished, Jaska gave Jake a peck on the cheek and left.

Jake was confused. He had just spent a horribly uncomfortable, irritating and embarrassing afternoon with another creature, who was in fact a real life girl, but he hadn’t actually hated it.

I need to go back to work tomorrow he thought.