“You know the dried food that people eat on spaceships?” answered Al. “I’m the guy who takes the water out.”

‘Arry and Niall burst out laughing.

“Very good,” said ‘Arry. “Now what do you really do?”

Al looked at him blankly, before answering seriously.

“That is what I do.”

‘Arry swapped a glance with Niall. Al could tell something was up. Within a second ‘Al was flat on his back, ‘Arry pressing a gold knife to his throat.

“You seek to repay my hospitality with this drivel?” he sneered. “You owe me. Honesty is the least you can do.”

A lump formed in Al’s throat. He knew it sounded ridiculous, but he couldn’t lie, he was a terrible liar.

“I promise, ‘Arry, it’s true. Let me explain.”

‘Arry didn’t say anything, and Al felt the knife tighter against his throat.

“Let him up ‘Arry,” said Niall. “I want to hear this.”

Al sat up, sweating from his traumatic position.

“’Arry, it’s true I promise you. The government want everyone to believe that there is still water in Timeria, but the truth is that this ran out years ago. The only source of water nowadays is from the food we import from elsewhere. They won’t sell us their water, as it is in scarce supply everywhere, but we have devised a way extract this from food whilst leaving a lovely dry product to be eaten in space. Why do you think there is always a hosepipe ban, but everyone still has plenty water in their taps? I, well we, put it there. And do you really believe that we have to eat this dried food rubbish? Of course we don’t, our food can be preserved in many ways for years on end. But we need the water from in it, that’s why it’s manufactured.”

Al could see that his explanation had gone some way to pacifying ‘Arry, but he was still unsure.

“I think that answers that, don’t you ‘Arry?” said Niall. Al could tell Niall wasn’t entirely convinced, but he was doing Al a favour.

A reluctant nod followed by a grunt and a wave, signalled to Al that he was off the hook, for now, but it would be a good idea if he left.

Al had just had his first run in with ‘Arry ‘Ead ‘Unter and he now understood exactly why he had such a fearsome reputation.