Since Jake’s infamous rise to war criminal and most wanted man in the universe, Schmingleton had become a hive of activity.

A previously sparse planet had suddenly become a holiday destination of choice. ‘War Tours’ had become the rage, taking in sights including A Liar’s Lair (Jake’s house), Fashions of a Turncoat (an outlet of Jake’s favourite online clothes store) the Pie of a Spy (the pie shop that Jake did actually make the occasional brief walk outside to go and see).

Today one of those tours was in full swing.

“And over here, we have the pinnacle of the whole tour. This is the Liar’s Lair. That’s right, this is where Jake lived, shortly before he started the war. I’ll hand you over now to Chris, the last person to see Jake before his traitorous deeds that we all know about.”

“Thanks Gaz,” said Chris, the youngest of the Tereson brothers at only nine years old. He was well rehearsed in this now, they had been running these tours for a few weeks. It had quickly been found that the younger the storyteller, the more than people believed it.

“Well, the last time I saw Jake was about two weeks before the war began. I was over there, minding my own business and all of a sudden he came walking down the road, bag full of pies and potato crisps. He didn’t look himself. Well, he sort of did, he always looked… ill, almost jaundiced. But he had a look on his face that indicated all was not well. I guess we should have known then that something was up. But who would have known he could have had such plans?”

“It’s true,” said Gaz. “He’d been living here for years. We all knew him but he must have worked on his pathetic, weak and useless appearance just so that no-one would expect the evils that he was truly plotting inside his Liar's Lair. He was a man who didn’t appear in public much. He was clearly a sociopath, someone who was disturbed mentally, and had no regard for his fellow man. This..” he waved towards Jake’s house, “was where it all happened.”

The crowd looked with a mixture of awe and disdain at the cramped and slightly run-down terraced house that Jake lived in, not quite believing that such an evil man lived somewhere so normal.

“Yes,” said Chris, continuing the pitter patter. “It just looks so normal. It makes you think that anyone could be a spy. Madam, are you?” he asked, pointing towards an old lady in the crowd. “You’ve got a microphone under that hat haven’t you? Come on, admit it?”

The ladies grandkids tittered, and it was clear Chris had them on side.

“So, now that you have seen all of the things that made Jake as he is, would you like to buy a commemorative t-shirt? It’s a limited edition, Jake Spencer Went to Crawk, and All He Got Me Was This Lousy T-Shirt.”

The punters lined up to buy t-shirts from Chris and to get their photos taken outside Jake’s house, when his elder brother Joel came running up.

“Gaz! Gaz!” he cried, waving a sheet of paper. “It’s finally happened. We got called up to the army!”