Although a good for nothing, manically depressed layabout, Jake did have one good quality. He never broke a promise.

He had but one true friend in the world. Green_Turtle_Boy_369 had been his friend for years, beginning in the computerised world of Lapine Death Corps where they had both made it to 15,000 gamer points on the same day. Ever since this momentous occasion, Jake and Green_Turtle_Boy_369 had been firm friends and had played together regularly, sometimes fiercely competitive but sometimes co-operating to blast the hell out of fearless zombie rabbits in a flamboyantly efficient fashion that even the finest poetry couldn't do justice to describe. Jake knew that the one thing in life he would miss was Green_Turtle_Boy_369's smiley face emoticon. He almost smiled himself at the thought, but his face was so contorted from licking crisp packets that it was more like a wonky wink. Green_Turtle_Boy_369 used to do that sometimes too, he thought, reflecting on his good friend's cheeky and jovial nature.

Jake's one good quality then, would today be tested by a promise he made to Green_Turtle_Boy_369. It had been at least three weeks since Green_Turtle_Boy_369 had signed in to their most frequented chat-room disguised as “Pleasure_Girl_4_U”, an open minded lesbian who had coaxed the hate, self-loathing and suicidal truth out of Jake. After hearing the extent of Jake’s depression, Green_Turtle_Boy_369 had admitted his misdemeanour, and had made Jake promise that if he did ever end his life, that he would do so by running a small program that he had written. Before Jake's computer exploded, killing him swiftly, the program would send a virus out to all of the computers in the outer galaxies, thus rendering them completely useless. This would allow Green_Turtle_Boy_369 to lead a revolution to overpower the fascist dictatorship of the Grand Zombie-Master, who had decreed that only zombie rabbits were allowed in their beloved Lapine world. Green_Turtle_Boy_369 was bored of zombie rabbits, from time to time he just wanted to shoot some god-damn aliens. When the program had finished, Green_Turtle_Boy_369 would receive a pop-up message box to tell him that it had worked.

Jake was a loyal guy, and had remembered his promise. He was ready. At least there was one thing he could do with his life to leave a lasting impression behind.

“This one's for you, Green_Turtle_Boy_369,” said Jake. He closed his eyes and double-clicked.