The sound of rain enters my ears. Wind, like an instrument, whistles a constantly changing pitch. A faint metallic scent enters my nose, causing me to wince in disgust. There's a bitter aftertaste lingering in my dried mouth. Despite the cold temperature, I'm drenched in sweat.

I look at my hands. Blood leaks from arc-shaped marks, likely made by my own nails. I wipe them off on my cloak, leaving bloody stains on the cloth. My face is particularly damp. Not from sweat, but tears.

I rub my eyes, wiping away the salty liquid from my face. An uncanny mix of blood and tears is now spread across my face.

After that... thing happened, I've just been lying here for a while. Thinking, mostly. And crying. A lot. Not just about my situation, not just about my death, but... well, everything, I guess. Imagine waking up, but the only memory you have is your own traumatic death. You're alone, weak, and practically helpless. You can't even go a second without the thoughts of dying haunting you, forcing you to pretend as if nothing's even wrong, just for the sake of your own sanity. Even when you finally find some food for a little bit of comfort, it's poisonous.

It... really hurts, you know?

...I look outside of the cave. It's night, and I still feel hungry.

Recently, these phantom chills around my neck, this pain... it's been growing worse and worse, but I don't know why. I really won't be able to take any more of this insanity.

I take off the scarf still wrapped around my feet and put it around my neck, its rightful location. Luckily, it doesn't look like the frostbite ended up giving any permanent damage. My eyes dart over to my icicle laying in the ground. I grab it, and just like before, use it to brace myself while I stand up. It's difficult as usual... maybe even a bit harder than normal because of my exhaustion from yesterday.

My stomach growls. Of course I'm still hungry, a couple of berries is practically nothing, you know? Something like that would never satisfy me, I need to eat more than just that. If I was capable, I would go and hunt for some meat, but it's clear that would be extremely difficult.

I lick the inside of my mouth. It's unbelievably dry... I'm thirsty as well. If I go outside, I can probably get something to eat, and I guess the water in fruits and vegetables could provide me for a little bit, but...

...Unless I want to die, I probably shouldn't. What do I mean, you ask? Simple. It's dark outside, my entire body aches, it's raining, etc. I won't be able to see any potential threats, I won't be able to fight back, I'll get exhausted under the extra weight from the rain covering my clothes, etc. And the stupid poison berries too. Basically, I'll die, you know? Going outside might as well be a death wish. After all, it's nice to take a breather once in a while, right?

I twirl around the icicle while I'm still standing. In an instant, my neck feels as though it's constricted, and even though nothing was truly happening, the blood drains from my face.

...One last thing, about these mysterious neck pains. Up to this point, I thought they were warning me about my memories, or the forest, but now... I've got a slight hunch about its true nature. I'm hoping I'm wrong, to be honest, cause if I'm right, it'll be extremely troublesome.

I stumble over to the exit of the cave. The wind howls louder as I approach, and the pain in my neck grows more as well. Sweat drips down my face, some of it getting in my eye. It stings, but it's nothing compared to the experience of death. As I reach the exit, I stop walking, planting my hand against the wall to lean against it. As expected, something is definitey wrong.

...Despite such loud sounds coming from the wind, I'm not feeling any wind at all.

I look up. The moon sits straight above me... midnight, huh. The pain in my neck has stopped growing as well, although it hasn't gone away yet. I step out and back in the cave repeatedly, the chills spreading and shrinking each time. The 'wind' even seems to grow a bit louder, making me uneasy.

crack

Something rushes by at a near invisible speed. At the same time, my eyes twitch as my neck suddenly feels like it's about to break. I retreat back into the cave, letting out the breath I didn't even realize I was holding.

The sound of the wind... followed whatever that thing was. It's not wind at all that's outside, it's those creatures.

...I was right. My hunch was right on...! Every time I take a step closer to death, I'll re-experience part of my own demise. My own fear of that sensation then drives me to survive. Isn't that hilarious? These eldritch pains, these phantom chills, it's all part of a stupid instinct. Seriously, I'd kill myself if I didn't already know how horrible death is just to be free of the pain. My life is being dictated by fear...

Hah... I want to cry again...

Strangely, my feet feel wet, sticky, and... very painful. I look down at the ground. Starting from the ice shards I left on the ground, bloody footprints leave a track to my location. I must have stepped on them or something, cutting open my feet.

My eyes flare in annoyance. I clumsily run over and start kicking all of the ice shards over to the wall, ignoring the small cuts that continue to litter my feet. They fly away, scattering along the side with unexpected strength. I stare down at some of the remaining ice shards and stomp down, shattering them underfoot. Energy rushes through my veins and fuels my rage.

I hate this. I really hate this. Even without my memories, I feel as though I've never hated anything so much before. I try squeezing the loose cloth on my scarf to ease my anger, which calms me just a little bit.

Just take a deep breath in and out. In. Out.

...Okay.

Now that I've calmed down, how did I just crush that ice...? That ice is quite strong, almost comparable to rock, and I just shattered it underfoot. I look down at the ice, only to see a powdery dust under my feet, with red dots littered across.

...Great. I'm still bleeding. Outstanding. Splendid.

I sigh and look back towards the ice. I really want to know how I had that sudden strength. And looking back, it happened before when I was running back into the cave from outside after eating those berries. It would be very useful to gain control over that ability, especially in dangerous situations.

I walk over and grab a palm-sized shard of ice. I toss it up in the air and catch it a few times before throwing it against the wall. Since I'm standing all the way on one side of the cave, it doesn't even reach the other side before bouncing, and even then it only manages to barely roll over to the wall.

Of course. What was I even expecting to happen? I won't figure it out just like that.

While taking a deep breath, I trudge towards the chunk of ice I threw and pick it back up. What was I doing when I had those sudden strength boosts? The first time, I was overtaken by my stupid instinct... everything seemed blurry, and I hardly remember it. Just now however, I was angry. No... that doesn't seem to describe how I felt quite accurately enough.

I was... filled with wrath.

In my anger, I kicked all of the ice aside and crushed a piece with my bare feet. During that time... I felt like adrenaline was rushing through my veins. I mean, it probably was, but I could feel it. You can't feel adrenaline. That's not how the human body works. So I must have felt something else. Something rushing through my blood...

My entire body shivers as i feel my blood coursing through my veins with an inexplicable pressure. This was the sensation from before... but it's not quite the same. I need to do something with this sensation, redirect it to something else...

I grasp on to the pressure and try to drag it out. The pressure concentrates on my fingers and pushes against some kind of barrier, but nonetheless successfully leaks through bit by bit. I watch my hands in surprise.

Amazing! Absolutely nothing happened. Really, just screw off! After all that, nothing happens? Seriously?

I look at my fingers and continue to drive out the energy.

Why isn't anything happening? This is just... no, something's definitely happening.

I'm feeling... really... tir...ed?

slump

Everything slowly drifts to black.

...Hey Maestra, we're going to play a game, okay?

We're playing hide and seek! Aren't you excited?

Yeah, I'm happy too.

...

Huh? I'm fine, don't worry.

...Alright, here are the rules. I'm going to count up to 1000. Before I reach that, you need to hide as far away as possible.

Yeah, 1000, okay? I know it's a long time, but you need to listen.

...Yep. But no matter what, don't let anybody find you.

...Please.

Alright, I'm going to start counting up now. Don't worry, I'll definitely find you. Never forget that I love you.

...

There she goes.

...I'm sorry.

...

You finally arrived. Well, too bad. You were too late.

Yes. She's already gone. I sent her away. Not even you will be able to find that child.

Hahaha...

This is as far as you go. You're not getting by me.

Mark my words, I will NEVER, let you touch my precious daughter.

...And... even if you get your underlings to catch her, I have my own plans then.

This is the end for you.

I'm sorry, Maestra. My daughter.

I wake up, my eyes snapping open, only to instantly close once again, blinking out the stream of tears flowing from my eyes. My heart is racing and my breath barely keeps up. I look down at my scarf and hug it close to my trembling body.

...

What the hell was that dream?