Eric's right hand shook with an intensity that spoke of his current state of mind this day. The sun had just peaked over the trees, and he was clenching and unclenching his teeth. He needed to kill something… he needed to kill something today. Lots of somethings. He left his fortress in full bone armor, wielding his katana in his shaking fist. He'd been neglecting it lately, it thirsted just as much as his axe did, who was he to deny it?

He passed through the field of stumps, each one had a long stick wedged into its center. He had created an opening with his axe in the wood, and widened as necessary with his new knife. Eric had then taken several long sticks and wedged them into the holes he had made. Almost every single one of these sticks had a piece of artwork attached to it. Limbs and heads were arranged randomly around the poles, with some goblin torsos torn open and stuffed with its matching head. The limbs all hung from blood-soaked cordage, swinging as the wind picked up.

A field of effigies of his proudest work, each one unique from the other. If this didn't keep away the little green freaks then nothing would. He passed the finest of his works, what he dubbed 'Hobble Gobble'. He had taken the hobgoblin's corpse and sat it up on a stump, nailing its legs with long stakes to the wood to keep the lower body stationary.

Keeping the upper body from slumping proved to be a greater challenge, but eventually he figured it out. He had to carve multiple small stakes and hammer them into the proper positions to put the arms the way he wanted. Once he finally got the position he needed, he took a small goblin corpse, and shoved it headfirst into the hob's mouth; with the appearance that the hobgoblin was grasping the corpse as it ate. The next time a horde attacked him, he'd burn the bodies for some furniture. Goblin bones were too small for anything extraneous, but he was certain he could make a decent chair out of them if he really tried. If another hob came he could burn that for larger bones.

His femur battle skirt clattered and bounced off his legs as he walked, right hand shaking fiercely. He passed into the forest, his breath fogging the air in front of him.

"Come on!" He said in a high pitch voice "Come on come on come on!"

But nothing came.

"Gobolins!" He sang "Come out to playeyay!" He began clinking the femur bones together in his free hand as he went "Gobolins! Come out to playeeeyaaayyy!"

Still nothing showed up. He realized that trying to call them out probably wouldn't be the best idea, as they'd either run off or set up an ambush for him. So he continued his hunt in silence, looking for goblin tracks as he went. His feet crunched dry autumn leaves, and Eric found himself briefly wondering how close to winter this world was. Did the seasons work the same on earth? He'd need to definitely thatch his roof. Yes, indeed he needed to…

Needed too…

What? He needed to kill something, that was what.

He walked for around half an hour before finally running across a single goblin. It had emerged from some bushes, not looking like it had been in any kind of a hurry. Much to Eric's surprise, it was wearing a shirt of chain mail that hung loosely from its tiny body. Would that fit Eric if he tried to put it on? It was certainly too big for the goblin.

Eric charged the thing, sheathing his katana as he ran. He didn't want to use the blade unless he was fighting a horde. Besides, he might chip the edge on the chain. The goblin saw him, and with widened eyes, it dashed back through the brush. It gave a small scream as it ran, running for all it's little legs were worth. It was a fast little bastard, but Eric was much faster than it was. He tackled it to the ground and pinned its arms to the earth.

Eric's eyes were wide as he breathed excitedly. The goblin looked particularly disturbed by this, but he didn't care. It struggled underneath Eric, but his greater strength and weight meant that it wasn't going anywhere any time soon. He gave a toothy grin as he stood, still gripping the goblin's wrists as he lifted it up.

It screamed and kicked him in the mouth, but Eric barely felt it as he began spinning. Like a father spinning their child, Eric whirled harder and faster. The goblin screamed louder as its legs were sent behind itself from the force of the spin, and when Eric felt like he was about to fall over, he let go. The goblin flew several feet away, tumbling end over end until it came to a stop.

Eric stumbled back and shook his head as the dizziness took him, laughing madly. The goblin struggled to stand, but kept stumbling in its attempts. Eric drew closer cackling until he stood menacingly over the armored goblin. It looked up at him, seemingly confused.

"Wednesday Wednesday Wednesday!" Eric shouted in it's face "Today on WWM, we have Eric Leblanc against the Green Bastard!" He announced, eyes still wide and right hand shaking even harder than before "Leblanc opens with a grapple!" He shouted, wrapping his fingers around the Green Bastards throat.

The announcers both leaned forward in their seats as they shouted into their microphones "Oh no! This doesn't look good for Green Bastard! Is Leblanc gonna do his signature move!?"

Eric felt blinded by the lights of the wrestling arena, but the shouts of the crowd were even louder. It was a deafening buzz. The Green Bastard tried to dig its nails into his hands, but his costume had armored gloves! He let one hand go and gestured to the crowd, holding the Green Bastard aloft with one hand.

The crowd cheered, and Eric saw no reason to not give them a show. He then choke-slammed the Green Bastard into the white mat of the stage, the chain link cage shaking with the motion. That's right, it was a cage match… Why was his opponent a green midget again? Ah it doesn't matter…

The Green Bastard gave a gargling cry of agony, but he still hadn't tapped out.

"The Green Bastard is still in this Tom! He can still pull off a reversal if he just-"

Eric slammed the Green bastard again, the smaller wrestler's grip loosening.

"OH!" The announcers and crowd exclaimed at the same time.

"Leblanc has been training pretty hard Jim, I don't think that the Bastard is gonna be able to take much more of this!"

Another wrestler then began running toward the stage, a metal folding chair held in both hands. He looked like the twin of the Green Bastard, right down to the green outfit and diminutive size. The masks were even the same, with those overly long curved noses and plastic warts.

"Oh look! It's Lil' Emerald! Leblanc better look out cause he's coming at him with THE CHAIR!"

Eric pretended not to see Lil' Emerald as he held the limp Green Bastard by the throat. When Lil' Emerald drew close…

"OH!" The crowd and announcers exclaimed again as Eric threw Green Bastard into Lil' Emerald.

Both the little guys were sent tumbling end over end, Green Bastard did not rise, but Lil' Emerald looked like he was still in the fight. The championship was going to be Eric's, he wouldn't give it up to a couple of overrated green retards. He was going to end this now…

Eric ran up before Lil' Emerald could rise to his feet, and leaped into the air, body slamming Lil' Emerald. The smaller wrestler coughed up blood as Eric landed. Did management give them some ketchup packets or something to sell the fiction? He stood again over the barely breathing Lil' Emerald, the crowd and announcers losing their minds over Eric's viscous beat down.

He then elbow dropped Lil' Emerald, crushing his skull and spattering it across the clean white mat of the stage. The crowd gasped in horror and fell silent. Eric blinked, finding himself in a cool autumn forest. Where was the crowd? Jim and Tom? Did he win the championship? He blinked again as he stood, seeing the bloody mangled body beneath him.

Another corpse lay a few feet away, the back of its skull leaking and bloodied. They were both small and green… but… He blinked again. What had just happened? His right hand shook further, and he gripped it as he sat next to the corpse. That hadn't been real. His name was Eric Leblanc, he wasn't a professional wrestler, he was a TV. survivalist. He had written a book on bushcraft and survival. His hand shook slightly less as he took deep breaths.

That hadn't been real. Oh god… today was a really bad day if he was hallucinating. He stood from the ground, wiping off chunks of brain matter from his armored elbow. These two goblins were dead for sure. He looked to the weapon that 'Lil' Emerald' had charged him with, seeing that it was an honest and for real black morning star. The small spiked ball on the end looked as if it had recently seen use, greasy black hair and dried blood sticking to its surface.

He picked it up, smiling. Not a championship belt, but it certainly was something. Eric took the chain mail from 'Green Bastard', and stuffed it into his bag. He'd need to see if it fit him later. If it did, then he had another piece of good gear to add to his armor. If not, he could still probably do something with it.

His stomach then growled at him, upset with his neglect. It was getting close to lunchtime anyway, and he could desecrate these corpses after he ate. He rummaged through his bag, seeing that he only had one dried lizard left. Noting this, he consumed the whole thing savoring the chicken-like taste and tossing the bones away.

Looks like he'd need to go hunting today… his right hand then began to shake slightly less. Yeah… he had a task that needed accomplishing. He stood again, and chopped up the bodies, tying the pieces together on a single stick as he thought on what he should hunt. He supposed he could eat the goblins if he really needed too… but that hob hadn't exactly tasted like chicken. No, he'd only eat gobs if he really had no other option.

Just like on the Peninsula.

Just like when he got lost in the caves. When he had no other option.

Eric shook his head as he growled. He needed to find droppings that he could follow. He pulled out his modern bow, stringing an arrow as he crept through the forest. After a few hours of wandering, he found the small round droppings of a deer. He picked up a single piece of the dung, and squished it between his fingers.

Still moist and fresh, meaning that it was near. So… where were the tracks? He scanned the ground until he found what he was looking for. Light hoof prints had disturbed the leaves, the trail twisting between several trees. He found more piles of droppings, each fresher than the last. Eric was getting really close now. Another hour passed, the sun peeking through white clouds right overhead. So it was noon already?

It felt like no time had passed at all. His right hand barely even shook now as he hunted his prey. Eric felt so focused now… today had started as a bad day but now he was feeling more himself. He could hear a cry of pain ahead, an animalistic cry. His prey.

Eric remembered then, that he was not the only hunter in these woods. It was just beyond some bushes ahead of him. He silently approached, hearing what could only be goblins conversing with one another. The words were ugly and gargling, like their throats were constantly filled with snot. Eric peaked through a break in the brush, seeing three goblins with bows retrieving their arrows from the doe they had shot down.

How had they killed it so quickly? Usually, when hunting deer, you had to shoot it and track it down after it ran off. Yet this deer looked to have collapsed on the spot… He looked to the bloody arrowheads, and widened his eyes with realization. The tips were coated with some kind of dark green fluid as well as the blood from the kill. That must have been some kind of paralyzing agent. He'd have to make sure they never shot him with those or he'd be screwed.

One of the goblins then stopped its work, sniffing the air with purpose. What was it doing-

It looked right in his direction, and pointed, shouting something in its disgusting tongue. Could they smell him? He didn't wait for them to ready another volley, and stood, firing his own arrow into the sniffer's throat. It gargled and grabbed at the shaft of the arrow, removing it and tearing its throat out further as it exacerbated the wound.

As it tried to stem the bleeding, Eric knocked another arrow, firing it with precision into the second goblin's chest. This one fell down instantly. Must have hit something vital. The last one had another arrow knocked but Eric was faster, firing his arrow into this one's eyeball. Blood spurted from the wound and the goblin fell forward, snapping the shaft beneath the goblin's weight. Eric cursed at that, he couldn't make any more carbon fiber arrows after all. The first one he shot finally died, convulsing on the ground.

"Mine." He said simply as he crossed the brush.

He skinned the deer and took the best cuts of meat for himself, wrapping them to keep the blood from his other belongings. The skin would need to be tanned, and he knew exactly what he was going to use it for. Eric still needed a bed, and resting on a raised stick mattress hadn't been exactly comfortable.

He set up a small fire after retrieving his two good arrows, and threw some deer meat on the flame as he chopped up the corpses and took their arrows for himself. The paralytic agent would be useful if he had to fight any more hobs. The trip back to base was uneventful, but Eric was actually glad for it. Now that he was clear of mind. It was well into the afternoon when he got back to the clearing. He knuckled his back as he approached the gate, passing the effigies of his fallen enemies.

Now that he thought about it… his back and shoulder hadn't hurt at all today. Eric had been certain that he would need to take pills all throughout the day to keep the pain at bay. How big were the bruises he wondered? He'd check after he set the meat out to dry. He approached the gate, giving a scratch to his beard as he went. Eric had been about to open the door when he heard light footsteps moving beyond the palisade.

Something was inside his fortress. He brought his katana to bear, keeping his breath even as he reached for the gate with his free hand. Eric cursed himself, were goblins strong enough to open the gate? He purposely made it hard to open so they couldn't budge it. Eric himself was strong enough that it took little effort on his part to actually open the damn thing. That meant that they scaled the walls somehow… It sounded like one pair of feet. Had a single goblin broke in?

Best to just get this over with. He pushed open the gate easily, the footsteps stilling at the noise. What stood in front of his longhouse was not a goblin, not a monster, but a short lean woman with ear-length black hair and pale white skin. She wore a skin-tight black wool suit with what looked like integrated fingerless gloves and firm boots the same color as her outfit. She was a pretty woman, Eric decided, with high cheekbones that accentuated her feminine features.

Her bright green eyes went wide as she saw him, and his eyes went just as wide. What the hell!? What should he do!? He put up his sword warily, and she took a step back, gripping a small vial of yellow fluid in her hand. What was that? Poison? Some kind of explosive? He had to kill her, kill her before she killed him!

"Um..." She said "Hello. Sorry for… well letting myself in. I was curious. Please forgive me." She finished with a bow.

Eric was stunned, jaw agape. She then looked up at him, tilting her head like a curious hound.

"Are you okay?" She asked him in a calm tone.

Despite her calm voice, Eric could tell she was terrified of him. Her legs trembled slightly and she pursed her lips. What kind of a person would you have to be to want to break into Eric's fort? Hadn't she seen the macabre art show just outside? She had to. That wasn't what shocked him however.

"You- You talk!" He almost shouted at her, gripping the hilt of his blade tight.

She took another step back, raising the vial higher. It didn't look like she was preparing to throw it… was she going to drink it? Why? This was hardly an appropriate time to be drinking.

"Y-yes I do." She said, her voice shaking.

She wasn't concealing her fear now. Eric stared dumbly at her.

"Are you real?" He asked her.

Her reaction to the question was odd, her eyes taking on what looked to be a sad cast. Why would she be sad about that question? His right hand shook lightly and then she focused on that. She then looked him in the eyes, a small smile on her lips.

"I'm just as real as you are." She said, pinching her cheek with her free hand and pulling "Shee?" She asked, her speech slightly slurred as she released her cheek.

He frowned as he finally noticed her ears. They were long and came to a point. Was she an elf? He was almost willing to believe anything now. If she really was real… then was this Middle Earth? Goblins and elves? Fantasy land. Was magic a thing in this place? His right hand shook further and he snarled at it, causing the girl to jump. He glared at her.

"If you're real, come back tomorrow!" He shouted "Get the hell off my land!" He then stepped away from the gate, holding it open for her.

She hesitated, looking to his still drawn sword in his shaking hand. He took a deep breath, and stabbed it through the dirt. She slowly approached the gate, giving Eric a wide berth as she went. He watched her walk away, making it halfway across the clearing before she paused, looking back at him.

"When I come back tomorrow, can you play that music box for me?" She asked.

Eric was taken aback. He had only played that box when he fought the horde yesterday. Had she been here for that? Where had she been? He blinked at her.

"If you're real! Now get!" He shouted.

She then left, not looking back. Eric waited there for a long while, well after the elf girl had vanished in the trees. After some more waiting, he inspected the tracks she would have made. They were real all right, and they were familiar. He had chased her the first night he arrived here. She had been at the battle yesterday, watching from the trees.

She was the specter.

Could elves turn invisible at will? Was this really Middle Earth? Would he be fighting Sauron at some point? Well, he wouldn't be taking the ring off his corpse at any rate. He shook his head. It's been a while since he read the books, but he was certain that Middle Earth didn't have two fucking moons. What the hell was going on with this planet? Eric shook his head, he had meat drying to do and he had to decide what he was going to do when the elf girl came back tomorrow.

What if she returned with a host of pissed off elves? They wouldn't be happy that he cut down all these trees… well, if they tried him, they would regret it. They would make great effigies, he knew exactly what he would do with the ears too. He shook his head again. She had spoken to him, and he hadn't killed her, that was what mattered.

He found himself oddly giddy as he set up the drying rack. Someone he could finally talk to? What would he even say? He'd have to see tomorrow.