Caleb swallowed hard. His mind raced even as he took his seat. Even though this was probably no more than a projection into his mind, the cushion he sat on was cool and soft.

I’ll give Jaladri this much, he thought to himself. You never know what to expect. I certainly didn’t think a running fight with Delacroix and the Gilarskans to end with a grilling by my…Goddess? Advocate? Sponsor?

The matronly woman occupying the other seat gave him a look. A wave of green rippled through the multiple shades of blue in her hair.

“All right, I shall take that in order,” she said, and the distant boom of waves on rock shingle reverberated in her voice. “Am I your Goddess? Well, I am not your creator, Caleb Ledger. But…yes, I am your Goddess in the sense that it was my decision to have you reincarnated in this world. I suppose that makes me your advocate or sponsor as well, though you should not expect divine intervention to save you from your own impulses.”

“Okay, that’s fair enough,” Caleb said. “You may be a Deus, but I can’t expect any Ex Machina if I end up in a sticky situation.”

She stared at him for a second. Then she threw her head back and laughed. Caleb grabbed the edge of his seat as the island rumbled and an extra-large set of waves crashed on the beach.

“Well put, well put!” Danu chuckled. “People from your world do have an amusing way of putting things.”

“Thank you,” he hesitated a moment, and then pushed ahead. “Ah…this sounds absurdly trivial when I say this out loud to a God…but is there any chance I can get a drink for while we talk? I don’t know how, but I still feel a bit parched.”

No sooner had Caleb spoken the words than a white drink in a cocktail glass appeared before him, complete with a straw and a miniature umbrella. The scents of rum, coconut, and pineapple rose from the glass. He took a sip and then sat back, impressed.

“That’s not just good. It’s the exact flavor of the first cocktail I ever had. Bartender at the Drum & Monkey knew I was underage, but he knew I was trying to impress the girl I had with me. It’s why I like piña coladas.”

“Yes, and getting caught in the rain,” Danu added. “Save it. I have heard that one before.”

Caleb coughed and took another sip of his drink.

I better start over before she gets pissed off at me. But how do I even address her?

“Whatever you choose, I shall not be offended,” the goddess assured him.

“I can’t say that I was ever an observant type, Lady Danu,” he finally said. “But I can’t deny that you saved me, and that you’ve gifted me with an interesting set of powers. And…I guess I’ve never really given much thought to the metaphysical. The fate of my soul, or that I even had one. And I’m still coming to terms that there are Gods out there. Plural, I mean. That one of them created me.”

“It can be a tricky distinction,” Danu intoned. “You have seen light through a prism, have you not?”

He nodded. “In school, yeah. White light shining through turns into a rainbow of colors.

“Godhood is much like that white light. The holy power comes from the same source. The same light, if you will. You may think of Lir or myself as a part of that spectrum.”

“All right,” Caleb allowed.

His mind added, As if I have a choice!

“That is right,” Danu said, with a smile. “Choice is a hard thing to discern sometimes. And that is what I seek to ask about. Among other things, I’m curious about the choices you’ve made since coming to this world.”

“What would you like to know?”

“As I said before, you certainly haven’t been listening to our warnings. Mostly, that confrontation and violence usually result in death. Why not?”

“Honestly?”

Danu crossed her arms. “I shall know if you lie. I wish you to speak the truth, even should it prove to be less than palatable.”

He took a breath before answering.

“Well…to be frank, you reincarnated me in a spot that didn’t promote my peaceable side. An island that hosts a bloodthirsty, soul-sucking cult devoted to your arch-nemesis, Myr.”

“In part, you were sent there because of your past, Caleb. Your former predilections, left over from your past life. Since you had no childhood in Jaladri, it is the best a Goddess has to go on.”

He winced a little at that. “My past life…you were right, Lady Danu. About what you said at the very start. That losing those memories might have been a blessing for me. I was not the best of men. But by placing me on Irongrasp, how much of a choice did I have what I did?”

“More than you think,” Danu said. “When you arrived, naked and starving, you could have thrown yourself on the mercy of the first person you met. Instead, you decided to steal their clothes off the line. And the next time around, burning down their house. When you arrived in Deephold Port, you could have chosen to go into a different place than The Quiet Sailor. And of course, once Malum Kane shot you, you could have taken a different path instead of taking your revenge.”

“I would argue the point, but you’re right about that last bit.”

“You could have also saved yourself when escaping the dungeons of Deephold Keep. Yet you chose to save the unicorn mare, the griffin warrior, and the families of the Arrenmar.”

Something grew heated inside Caleb at that.

“What was I supposed to do?” he flared. “Leave them all there to be tortured and soul-drained? I may be a bad man, but I’m not a monster!”

“Whoever said that you were still a bad man?” Before he could reply, the Goddess continued. “I said that you were partly sent to Irongrasp because of your past. But there was another reason, one I was willing to take a chance on. You were not unsullied, but you are unbowed. I was hoping that you would be an antidote to the sickness spread by Myr.”

“I did some damage the Myrkur,” Caleb acknowledged. “But mere pinpricks, nothing they could not undo. I’m no crusader, and certainly no paladin. You should have chosen Grimshaw for the first position, Tavia Morningstar for the second.”

“You have done more than you think. Do you not recall what I said when your soul floated before me? That like many from your world, you are split and unsure of your path between the dark and the light.”

“Perhaps I am still unsure, then.”

Danu arched one blue-green eyebrow.

“Only because you have missed something fundamental to your character. How you have already broken with the way that Myr has twisted the shape of this world. You have missed it from the very start.”

Caleb racked his brain for a bit. But he came up with nothing.

“I guess I have missed it, Milady. I don’t know what you mean.”

“Consider. How do the Myrkur, the hardy souls from your world, advance their power? How do they climb levels?”

“By draining souls. By murdering those that oppose them. It’s why they slaughter people like the Arrenmar. Malum Kane called them non-player characters, that their lives didn’t matter. It’s why he went up a level after killing me.”

“That is correct.”

“It’s also why my own level increased after I came back and killed him,” Caleb gritted. His voice took on a bitter tone as he added, “The system of this world…it incentivizes killing, encourages cruelty, and since I’ve been reincarnated, I’m part of the same blood-soaked cycle!”

Danu shook her head.

“Not exactly. That’s the part you’re missing. You received points for killing Komtur Kane because you were taking back what was rightfully yours. Your former life, your former points earned. A justified revenge, as it were.”

“All right…”

“From thereon, you were rewarded with experience points for completing quests. If confrontation and violence which lead to death result, that is your choice. But ask yourself: Why haven’t you been rewarded for killing yet more of the Myrkur?”

Caleb stopped, stunned. His mind raced.

That can’t be true, can it? A bunch of Myrkur died during our clashes escaping Deepwater Port. The battle with the Taipan. And not a few Gilarskans when weathering that broadside…

“Keep going,” the Goddess urged. “You had a direct hand in taking out Inquisitor Virgil Draymon and Komtur Ozul.”

“And Draymon was even from my world,” Caleb breathed. “But I got no points for killing either of them. Now that you’ve pointed it out, I can’t unsee it. Why?”

“Why, indeed. It puts you at a major disadvantage compared to the evil forces of the world. You have to earn your XP in a completely different, sometimes riskier way. Think. You should know the answer already in your heart.”

“Because…I’m not the same as them. I’m not part of the evil forces of this world. I’m no stranger to death. Or dealing it out. But I won’t slaughter all before me wantonly.”

“And what does that make you?”

Caleb’s lips curled up in the barest hint of a smile.

“It makes me a better man than what I was.”

“Indeed it does. I would call you a hero, of sorts. You have already made up your mind that your past shall not be your future.” Danu paused and looked up into the deep blue sky. Even though it was cloudless, Caleb heard a distant peal of thunder. “Our time grows short. It shall be a while before we speak again.”

“But…milady, I have so many questions!”

“And I had so much more to share. Yet it is not to be. Know this: Your actions have already rippled throughout this world, and to worlds beyond. Continue to do so, and it shall benefit many more beings than you shall ever meet.”

“What…what if I need to speak with you again?”

“Look inward. And outward. Your heart already has shown you what you really are, what I have hoped for. Look for me in the weather at sea, the patterns of waves, the leaves in your tea. And I shall give one more thing to help you.”

“Anything!”

The goddess cleared her throat. She stood, and the outline of her figure blazed gloriously with white light. She spoke in a ringing voice of a gale, one which carved her words into Caleb’s mind.

Seek a purpose where the sharks gather.

Seek a mentor who can put a feather in your hat.

Seek love where the sky silvers to lavender.

Seek your salvation where gold turns to emerald.

Her radiance dimmed for a moment. She gestured to Caleb, and he also stood.

“It is time,” she intoned. “Time for you to return.”

“Wait! Just one more second!” Caleb grabbed the cocktail glass and swigged down the last of the piña colada. “All right, now I’m ready.”

The island, the sky, the sea, and the Goddess melted away into blackness. Caleb felt himself propelled forward into space, felt himself falling back into the weighty existence of his body. He let out a groan as he felt a chorus of aches and pains seep into his consciousness.

Caleb licked his lips.

He still tasted a hint of dark rum, coconut, and ripe pineapple.

So it was all real, he thought, as he opened his eyes. Thank you, Lady Danu.