I think I've let the [placeholder] cook for about long enough for it's comeback to be cool...nope, still gross.

Hello there, it's me! [placeholder]! It sure has been a while since our last chat hasnt it?

Well the reason for that is this exact topic! Stories that have been thrown into the void never to return again, or if they do return it is with glorious mediocrity that will be universally ignored with about the same energy as a sloth getting ready to shit after a week of digesting. Though, that isn't the real problem the readers have with these poor husks of stories.

No, the real problem for you readers is that the story slave that you've been whiping with your praise and encouragement has suddenly fucking imploded and you have no idea why. Well I'll tell you exactly why.

It's cuz they fuckin dead.

Yep, that's right, all those abandoned stories floating around this site that havent been touched in years are the way they are because the authors died. In memory of these fallen peasants I shal list some of the ways they died.

Methods of deathification include:

Drowning, hanging, evaporation, evisceration, decapitation, (we get it you) vapeorisation, circumcision gone wrong, circumcision gone right, blowing too fat of a cloud, blowing too fat of a clown, sudden skull cave in disease, being a lil bitch, ignoring that one kid who told you not to come to school, bleeding out while shaving, suffocation, drinking gogo juice, implosive diarrhea, dehydration, excessive hydration, being crushed by a trash compactor, getting eaten by a god damn furry, eating a god damn furry and contracting a really old strain of smallpox, stepping on a lego, watching "a serbian film" three times in a row, flying a bit too low and being gored by a unicorn, coffe enema addiction, and finally...aids.

So next time you see some poor story that hasnt been touched in years, know that it's creator is more than likely dead and probably not burried because of overwhelming debt.

However you need not worry, for you may dread it, you may run from it, but a story slave always arrives.