Draft 2.0 - Some old. Some new. Moving along now.

Chapter 6.

Across the lands of the Northern Continent, the various military forces of the sovereign territories were organized into a handful of categories.

One of the largest organization of military might was termed an Army.

An Army was usually composed of six divisions.

Four of those divisions were dedicated to combat and reconnaissance. They included a cavalry division, an infantry division, a heavy infantry division, and a reconnaissance division.

The remaining two division were ancillary: Supply Division, and Engineering Division.

When an Army combined with another Army to form a Grand Army, it was commanded by a Field Marshal who outranked an Army General. It was rare for a Grand Army to be formed, since the benefit of a smaller Army was the swiftness with which it could be deployed into battle. For that reason, individual Armies were maintained at a specific size and disposition.

Each division was divided into companies that were in turn organized into platoons of twenty men, including a commanding officer and second-in-command. This structure was maintained regardless of the nature of the division, making it simple to calculate the number of men, women, horses, and Jotnar deployed in the field since their groupings remained consistent.

To explain further, the divisions were composed as follows:

The Cavalry Division consisted of one or two companies of four platoons numbering twenty riders apiece.

The Infantry Division consisted of one or two companies of four platoons, similarly numbered.

The Heavy Infantry Division consisted of a company of four Jotnar platoons, for a total of eighty Jotnar.

The Reconnaissance Division was the smallest of the four divisions, with a company of two to three platoons, numbering in total between forty and sixty individuals, not including horses and flyers. It went further, dividing its platoons into squads of ten between the women of the Empath Scouts and male pilots of the Sky Scouts. While the former rode on horses, the latter made use of lightweight craft that flew in the sky, powered aloft by the Ether. The Reconnaissance Division was the smallest of the four divisions, Outside of the military divisions, an army had three additional division: Supply, Engineering, and Command.

It was fair to say, that the Supply and Engineering divisions numbered in the hundreds of men and women, and were in charge of everything from organizing the transportation of camp equipment, keeping the soldiers fed, to constructing bridges and roadways as necessary to get the army from point Aye to point Bee.

Amongst all these divisions, it was the Jotunn Knights of the Heavy Infantry who commanded the most prestige. They were the men and handful of women gifted with an Ether Kinetic talent well above the average.

After all, it was the sight of the massive Jotnar, bearing giant swords and shields, trampling over hills and rivers, and pushing through forests, that cast the most fear into the soul of an opposing army…not the aproned cook with the ladle in one hand.

Excerpt from Giants Across The Land.

A History of the Militaries of the First Millennium.

(Falken)

With Fallon and the two maids occupying my spacious abode, I was forced to find shelter elsewhere in the camp.

A tent was set up for me in an empty spot a hundred feet or so from my original tent.

Though smaller, it had everything I needed.

A cot, a table for writing, a chair, and a couple of Etheric lamps to ward away the darkness.

The carpets underfoot were treated with a mixture of oils that kept them dry, refusing to allow moisture from the ground to seep into the fabric. However, I wasn’t keen on the pungent aroma that wafted from the carpets into the interior of the tent.

I wrinkled my nose, and struggled to concentrate on reading the last of the letters I’d written.

They were letters to be dispatched to the families of the men we’d lost today.

I had six more to write to the families of the men who’d suffered injuries.

I put the quill into its wooden holder shaped like a tall thin cup, then sat back and squeezed my eyes shut.

The letters felt empty to me.

They bore words of praise, but were no salve for a grieving heart.

Opening my eyes, I stared up at the weakly lit ceiling.

What could I say to those families?

I hadn’t served with their sons. I hadn’t commanded those men. I knew nothing of them, just as the men and women of the army knew little to nothing of me.

The fact I didn’t know the people of our armies bothered me a great deal. I felt detached from the reality at our borders between Kaitain and Orgenval to the south.

Before my father passed away at sea – before I became Archduke of Caldera – was a Jotunn-Knight belonging to First Platoon, Banshee Company. I had been awarded a promotion to Knight-Captain, but then my father died and I chose to turn it down.

While Kaden and Chiren had urged me otherwise, it was Alleyne, perhaps understanding me best, who told me to leave the military life behind.

It was Alleyne who told me that leading men from within a Jotnar wasn’t my calling.

I resented her then, and I resented her now.

Tell me, dear sister, just what is my calling?

Is it to rule Caldera from behind my father’s desk?

Is it to marry and form an alliance with Reinvald’s ruling family, House Sandoval, in the hope that our combined strength would keep Kaitain and Orgenval at bay?

I rubbed my face, feeling the stubble along my jaw, and regretted leaving my shaving kit behind in my tent.

Still slouched in my chair, I looked down at the letters on the table.

My letters would accompany those written by the commanding officers of those fallen soldiers – the Knight-Captains who’d led the platoons into the forest – and who knew them best.

Beyond paying out compensation to those families, which was written into Caldera Law, I didn’t know what else I could do for them.

No, I was wrong.

There was something I could do for those families, and the families of the men and women serving in our four armies.

I could ensure peace in their lifetimes.

Taking a deep breath, I glanced at my wrist chronometer, and noticed the night had entered the witching hour.

Snorting softly to myself, I reached out and grabbed the dented metal jug of water on the table, only to discover it was empty.

Cursing under my breath, I pushed back my chair and rose to my feet.

Through the Ether, I could sense the faint traces of Etherite in the swords and daggers of the two soldiers standing guard outside my tent. The Ether had corrupted the metal, turning tiny amounts of their surface into Etherite that was barely discernible.

Yet I could sense it.

Once, many years ago, I’d told Kaden I could feel the subtle traces of Etherite in the metal around us, even in the forks and knives that we used in the dinner table. They were tiny amounts you could not even see with a magnifying lens. I frightened him, and realizing that I chose to keep the extent of my talent a secret. However, I frightened him then, and I frightened many others when years later I demonstrated my ability to operate a Jotunn without a working Etheric Drive, a feat deemed impossible.

My only regret was that I demonstrated my power before that cursed woman.

I believed it was unlikely she would forget my face, as I doubted I would ever feel anything but contempt toward her.

Grimacing as I tasted the scent of the carpet oils infiltrating my mouth, I picked up one of the Etherite lanterns and walked to the tent’s entrance.

As I pushed the flap aside, one of the soldiers on duty looked at me in surprise.

“Your Grace?”

“At ease. Just going for a refill.”

The man hesitated before declaring, “Your Grace, we can do that for you.”

“No, that won’t be necessary. I can do with a walk—”

I stopped as I sensed someone approaching us, or rather the Etherite in the hair clip keeping her ponytail in check.

Chiren Kell stepped out of the darkness, and into the light cast by the lanterns hanging on poles outside the tent.

Her blue eyes looked grey in the light of the lamps.

She silently cleared her throat. “Your Grace, you’re still awake…?”

I motioned with the jug in my hand. “I ran dry.”

Chiren nodded gently as she folded her arms under her large breasts, which did not go unnoticed by the soldiers on guard.

She remained still and quiet, making the whole scene rather uncomfortable for me and the guards.

What was she doing here?

Did she want to talk?

With a deep breath, I spared the men a look and said, “Gentlemen, if you’ll excuse me. I need to top up and stretch my legs. The Knight-Commander here will keep me company.” I cocked my head. “Do you want me to bring something back from the food tent?”

The man nearest me shook his head. “Ah, no, your Grace. We’re due for a shift change.”

“Oh.” I added a nod, then said, “Very well. A good night to you if I don’t see you upon my return. And…thank you.” Offering them a deeper nod, I turned to Chiren. “Shall we be off?”

“Off to where?”

“The food tent, of course.” I walked past her. “Come along, don’t dally.”

Chiren hesitated before turning on her booted heels and strode after me. She caught up with me a few steps later, though she walked a half pace behind me.

“Chiren, would you just walk beside me like normal.”

“Falken, don’t start with me now. I’m not in the mood.”

“What? Not in the mood?” I gave her stern face a sidelong glance, then raised the empty jug to the night sky overhead. “The moon is finally out. Don’t you think it’s a lovely night for a moonlit stroll?”

“It’s the witching hour.”

“What of it?”

“Bad things come out during the witching hour.”

I snorted. “Bad things come out all times of the day. Just look out how this morning turned out. Curse that Kurama.”

“But not Terumi?”

I stopped suddenly. “No, not Terumi.”

I heard Chiren sigh long and deeply. “She’s grown stronger. More like her mother. She wasn’t the child you met back then.”

I swallowed, wondering if it sounded loud in the night air despite the sounds of camp around us.

“No, she’s not the same child.”

I resumed walking toward the food tent, then stopped some ten paces later.

Looking about, I realized I was lost.

“Blast, where the Devil am I?”

Chiren hissed softly. “Falken, don’t say such things lightly. I told you, it’s the witching hour.”

“Then you tell me which way to the food tent.”

Exhaling loudly, she grabbed the metal jug from my hand, and walked past me. “This way.”

“You forgot to say, your Grace,” I reminded her.

Chiren stopped abruptly, and hunched her shoulders.

I watched them tremble for a heartbeat, until she drew back her right arm, and threw the metal jug into the distance.

In disbelief, I stared at the jug as it soared away until I lost sight of it somewhere over the roof of an unknown tent.

It fell so far away I didn’t even hear it fall.

Then she turned and faced me with a glare. “Well, your Grace. Now you have no need to find the food tent.” Turning on her heels, she stormed off. “Oh, and find your own way home.”

I looked behind me. “But I’m lost.”

“That’s not my problem, your Grace.”

Damn that woman.

I had no recourse but to chase after her.

“Chiren Marisol Kell, why are you so angry.”

She continued marching through a sea of tents.

Where the Devil is she leading me?

“Sis, come on. At least tell me where you’re going.”

I had thought calling her Sis might get a response from her but I failed.

I continued following her until we left the edge of the camp.

It was only then, when she stepped onto a small rise, that Chiren finally came to a stop.

With her arms folded under her impressive bust, she stared into the distance.

At the foot of the rise, and looking up at her, I realized she was looking north…toward Reinvald.

Toward Lisanna’s home, and from where Fallon had crossed into Caldera.

I took a deep breath and held back a heavy sigh, then carefully climbed part way up the rise.

“There’s no one around, Chiren. Just tell me what you have to say.”

The breeze rustled her blonde ponytail.

Standing as she was, Chiren looked majestic to me.

A guilty desire crossed my mind, one I had secretly entertained at one time or another during the past year. Yet it was nothing more than a wild fancy – something that could never be.

If she ever heard me utter it, I was certain she would leave me with a scar or two.

I took another breath. “Chiren…why did you bring me out here?”

“Tell me how you feel.”

I cocked my head sharply up at her.

She was looking down at me, her blue eyes shining visibly with moonlight. “Tell me how you feel, Falken.”

I closed my mouth, and gave her request due consideration.

Then I held both hands out before me for her to see.

They were steady.

“I feel fine.”

“Why?”

I was confused and let it show. “Why what?”

“Why doesn’t it trouble you?” she asked in a troubled voice.

However, that wasn’t what made my chest tighten.

It was the tenderness underlying her words.

I swallowed down the scent that lingered in my mouth. “Who says it doesn’t trouble me? I came close to dying today. I can’t say that didn’t frighten me.”

“Alleyne will surely have my head….”

“No. I won’t allow that. We need your head just where it is.”

“Falken—”

“Chiren, you want to know how I’m feeling?”

A long moment went by. Chiren closed her mouth and nodded.

“I don’t know how I’m feeling. I’m alive. I’m happy to be alive. But I owe my life to a girl I’d never met before today. A girl I didn’t know lived in this world.” I paused before adding, “A girl that saved my life and I don’t know why she chose mine to save.”

Another long moment went by before Chiren inhaled deeply and said, “I have the impression she doesn’t know why either.”

“What do you mean?”

Chiren’s ponytail swayed gently as she shook her head ever so slowly. “That girl…I don’t know what to make of her. But I don’t believe she has an agenda. I don’t believe she’s a cruel person. And I don’t think she asked for the power of a Khan.”

“So she really is a Wilder….”

Chiren shrugged her shoulders; they rose and fell gently. “Yes, a Khan Wilder to which you owe your life.”

“And that’s why…I want to protect her.”

“Protect her? A Khan Wilder gifted with a Warlord?”

“I want to protect her from the Khan Orden.”

Chiren unfolded her arms. “From the Orden?”

“I don’t trust them.”

Chiren took a half step toward me. “Then why send those letters?”

“Because I have to follow protocol. I can’t hide Fallon here in Caldera. Eventually the Khan Orden would find out. At the very least, I want to try doing things by the book.”

“By the book?”

“I want to follow some procedure with them. I wish to be diplomatic.” Again I paused before adding, “I wish to make my intentions clear to them.”

“There is no guarantee you will ever bond with her. Falken, she’s a child. A girl of sixteen years of age. She lacks a great deal. Even if the Khan Orden takes her in, it will be years before she learns to be a Khan, to be someone comfortable entering and leaving the circles of politics and power. She may not even be suited to such a life. Being a Khan is more than just being able to wield a Warlord like a fine sword. Being a Khan is about representing the will of the Meister to whom they are bonded. It’s about being an advisor as well as a sword and shield.”

I pushed aside the frustration that flared up within me. “I know that Chiren. I know what will be demanded of her.”

“You’re being unfair to her.”

I held back a gasp, but couldn’t stop my mouth falling open.

Chiren folded her arms again. “That girl…is too kind.” She shook her head faintly. “The life of a Khan will break her.”

Slowly, I closed my mouth, then shook my head up at her.

“You’re judging her too soon.”

“I don’t need to judge her. The Khan Orden will be the ones judging her.”

She raised her chin at me, and her voice gained an edge.

It sounded razor sharp when she spoke again.

“Falken, leaving aside the fact that she saved your life, and the fact you feel indebted to her, tell me the truth. Tell me why you don’t want to let her go.”

“Because Fallon came into my life for a reason. I believe that she’s here to bring about change, not just for me, but for our lands too.”

Chiren’s voice lost some of its edge. “Do you want her to be your reason not to marry Lisanna?”

“I want her to make Caldera stronger, so that in future we don’t have to rely on a political marriage to forge an alliance that will keep Caldera safe. I want Caldera to be able to protect itself without the need to rely on other lands.”

“So you would rely on her.”

I didn’t answer right away. I allowed a noticeable moment to pass before giving Chiren a firm nod. “Yes, I would. With her as my Khan, and I as her Meister.”

Her voice grew quiet. “I don’t know whether to describe that as noble, misguided, or dangerous. You risk peace between Reinvald and Caldera. Don’t you see that?”

“Peace that relies on a political marriage to guarantee it is not the peace that Caldera needs.”

“And it doesn’t need to be watching its three borders with the threat of war looming like a storm above them. Having to fight over two borders is more than enough.” She shook her head in consternation at me. “You need a far better reason than that, Falken. I cannot accept a reason that puts our people at risk. I cannot. I have seen far too much bloodshed during the past year. I have lost too many people under my command. I have written too many letters to grieving families. Do you understand me, Falken?”

Chiren’s voice fell lower but grew harder. When she spoke again, it reminded me of a knife sharpened on a whetstone.

“I will not allow you to bring our two lands into disagreement. I won’t risk you starting a war.”

I knew she was serious. There was no doubt in my heart and mind that Chiren would openly challenge me if she felt I was steering Caldera into harm’s way.

I wet my lips, and stared up at her for long, long while, my eyes unflinchingly meeting her stare.

Then I made the choice to slowly climb to the top of the rise.

When I stood beside her, I turned my body northward.

I looked not in the direction of Reinvald, but toward Gaellen Forest.

“A whole forest. A whole forest and out of everyone in there…she found me.”

My chest grew heavy as I remembered the moment I almost died…and the moment our eyes met.

“A whole forest,” I whispered hoarsely, “and yet she chose to save me….”

Fate had brought us together.

It had deliberately made our paths cross.

I couldn’t shake the feeling, the belief, that our lives were now entwined – that our lives were not meant to be drawn apart.

In my mind, I kept seeing two lines forming a braid. Her life and my life, endlessly circling each other.

There was a reason we had been brought together.

I wanted to believe it was a good reason.

Something that would have made my father proud…and proud of me.

A reason that would give my life direction now that he was gone.

Unbidden and unwelcome, a flurry of emotions surged out of my heart, and my throat grew tight.

Feelings I’d restrained for many, many months now clamped shut my lips and hardened my jaw.

I focused on breathing while my heart beat painfully in chest, and I kept my face averted from Chiren

I was afraid of what she might see there, a weakness unbecoming of the Archduke of Caldera.

After a long while, when my emotions loosened their grip on me and I found myself able to speak, I managed a whisper.

“I owe her my life, Chiren. I can’t just let her go….”

I was surprised when nothing but silence greeted me.

Without turning I knew that Chiren was standing slightly behind me because I could sense the Etherite in her hair clamp.

The silence from her began troubled me, so I slowly, anxiously turned to face her, uncertain of what I would see.

However, I wasn’t prepared for the sight that greeted me.

In the moonlight, I could see the tears trailing down her cheeks.

Those silent tears were a knife wound to my heart, because I understood I was the reason behind those tears.

Her lips moved, and I had to strain my ears to catch her whisper.

“…I should have put you in my platoon…I should have kept you close to me….”

The deep breath she took was ragged, and her body trembled in the pale light.

“…if I’d been there…this never would have happened….”

I shook my head sharply at her. “No, none of this was your doing.”

A sob slipped past her lips. “…yes…yes it was….”

I reached out to her, but Chiren shook her head frantically and stepped back.

“…if I’d lost you…if you’d died…how could I face Kaden…how could look Alleyne in the eyes…?”

If I reached for her again, she would back away.

With a heavy heart, I realized there was nothing I could say to comfort her.

She bowed her head.

“…you’re too cruel, Falken…you don’t understand anything….”

The moon hid behind one of the few clouds drifting overhead, and Chiren was cast in darkness.

When moonlight graced the rise again, Chiren was gone, yet I saw her silhouette cut across the darkness as she ran back to camp.

I watched her shadow as it fled from me.

Unable to move, I stood on the rise, and looked down at my arms.

I had reached out for her, and fallen short.

I let my arms fall limply beside me.

I realized then and there that something had changed between us.

I realized that Chiren had stepped away from me, and drawn a line that hadn’t been there before. With that line, I bitterly, painfully accepted that my fanciful desire would never be more than that.

Turning away from the camp that lay sprawled across the plain, I stared up at the pale celestial body high in the sky.

I would marry Lisanna for the sake of Caldera and her people, for her soldiers and for their families.

I would find a way to protect Fallon.

And I would keep my feelings for Chiren tucked away, for I understood I couldn’t throw them away any more than I could abandon the girl who’d saved my life in the forest.

#

(Fallon)

I didn’t sleep much.

It wasn’t the two girls that kept me up. They fell asleep in short order and never finished telling me about the upcoming marriage between House Claymore and House Sandoval.

It was memory of the Jotunn my Warlord split down the middle that kept me awake.

I clearly remembered the man’s scream, cut off the instant my curved sword sliced into the cockpit, dividing the glass, flesh and metal like a knife through warm butter; cutting the Jotunn in two as though it were made of paper.

I took a life.

Afterwards, I knelt before the Jotunn’s remains and prayed to the gods I knew of for the soul of the soldier I’d killed, but it didn’t make me feel any better. If anything I felt worse. I felt unclean, as though all the soaps in the land could never wash off the blood on my hands.

I had not intended to take that man’s life.

I was tired. I was exhausted, and Andraste wouldn’t respond to me the way I wanted her to.

In my mind she felt distant. She felt as though she was trying to keep away so as not to hurt me, as though she knew that if I continued using her some harm would come to my body. But I hadn’t listened. I had pushed myself and for one heartbeat I lost control of her, and Andraste cut that man down.

I had saved a life, and taken another.

I rolled over in the cot.

He hadn’t asked me why I’d saved him, but it was only a matter of time before he did so.

What answer could I give him?

Under the blankets, I tucked my legs against my chest.

Would he believe me…if I told him…I had seen this day come?

A sob shook my body.

So much had happened today. If not for the distractions around me, I might have broken down earlier. Inside the dim interior of the tent, there were no more distractions.

So I cried myself to sleep…and awoke to a gentle nudging from Silvia.

The young woman had a bright cheery smile on her face.

“Up and at them,” she declared. “It’s a bright and sunny morning—for a change!”

My throat felt dry and my mouth didn’t taste too good. “Good…good morning….”

Silvia planted her hands on her hips. “There’s breakfast and we need to get you washed up. His Grace wishes an audience with you. You need to look your best, since your first impression was somewhat a mixed bag.”

Silvia pinched her nose and waved her hand about as though warding a bad smell.

I felt myself blush in shame and glared weakly at her while lying in the cot.

Silvia laughed, then pumped a fist in the air. “Time for a fresh start. We need you smelling like roses in time for his Grace’s triumphant return.”

Perhaps an hour went by before I was deemed fit for the young Archduke’s company. Breakfast was bread, butter, and some simple jams. I had no complaints regarding the meal. Washing up quickly afterwards, the two girls checked me over several times before Silvia darted out of the tent to announce I was ready.

Not long after, a young man with shoulder length dark hair made his entrance. He was taller than I by several inches, lithely built though strong of limb. His clothes fit him well, as did the dark coat that went over them.

I found myself looking at him carefully, though I was trying hard not to stare. I hadn’t looked at him properly when we first met. At first I was busy saving his life, and then I was under the strain of operating my Warlord, so I’d failed to take a good look at the Archduke while we walked through the forest.

I felt my lips twitch into a smile that I hastily cleared away, yet there was nothing I could do about my heart beating just a little too quickly.

Then I looked beyond first impressions, and took in the details that marred his good looks.

Archduke Falken Claymore wore dark shadows under his eyes. To describe him as exhausted was an understatement. He didn’t appear to be in good spirits. Rather, I should say he appeared heavily burdened.

I understood full well that I was one of those burdens.

I steeled my resolve to not regret my decision. After all, I’d taken a life in exchange for saving Claymore’s. I had a burden to bear as well.

He stopped a few feet away from me.

Silvia and Marina had excused themselves from the tent, curtsying respectfully as they departed. However, Claymore’s eyes were on me and he barely acknowledged the two young women making their exit.

His gaze roamed over me, and I felt unsettled. It was an uncomfortable experience, and yet by the same coin I felt a faint twinge of pride. Both young women had praised my appearance, so I took confidence in their words.

He cleared his throat, and appeared to make a handful of uncertain attempts to break the silence.

Eventually, he nodded to himself and asked, “Are you rested?”

“Yes…yes, your Grace.”

“Please, call me Falken.”

“Aye, your Grace.”

He opened his mouth, then closed it slowly. Abruptly he shook himself and then stood straight. “Lady Fallon, we ride for Calandor today. Since you’re comfortable around those two girls, I’ve instructed them to accompany you to the citadel.”

I suddenly felt a surge of relief. I bowed to him quickly. “Thank you, your Grace.”

“When it’s just the two of us, please call me Falken.”

I hesitated for a long moment. “Yes…Falken.” Then I fixed a frown upon him. “Falken, why refer to me as Lady Fallon?”

“For now it’s Lady Fallon. But in due time, it will be Lady Khan.”

I swallowed. “You refer to the bonding…between you and I?”

He shook his head a little. “No, I refer to the day the Quorum accepts you as a Khan and enters you into the Orden’s ranks. Whether you are bonded to me or not is another matter. But I know you will attain the rank of Khan, and that goes beyond simply having the Seal of Arcala inside you. There’s more to being a Khan, than just having the Seal.”

I understood some of what he meant, courtesy of the Lady Knight Chiren Kell having explained what she knew of a Khan’s duties and responsibilities, and how they frequently were called upon to judge disputes and to mediate in matters of the state.

I knew now that being a Khan was more than just knowing how to operate a Warlord.

I felt uncertain, wondering if I would ever be truly fit for such duties.

He took a half step closer. “Don’t be troubled. For now, Lady Fallon is who you are.” He took a deep breath. “In saying that, you’ll be travelling incognito as an attendant. We leave in the hour.”

He bowed and began retreating out of the tent.

I took a step forward. “Your Grace, I’m guilty of a crime—”

“The man you killed was a soldier in the service of House Kurama, overlords of the land of Kaitain to the west.” His eyes locked onto mine and I froze under the strength of his gaze. “He was a soldier, and as a soldier he was prepared to die. That is the nature of war. Soldiers fight. Soldiers die…so that others may live.”

I couldn’t help myself from frowning up at him, wondering if that was really true, and wondering if that was the way it needed to be.

Was fighting the only answer?

When I wandered through the forest, I came across a defeated Jotunn, its cockpit crushed, and the man inside wasn’t even a corpse anymore.

I remembered thinking that no matter what land I crossed into, there was always war, always battle, and always death.

But that was a life I hadn’t taken.

Even after so long on the run, and having travelled so far, I had avoided taking a life.

I had kept the oath I’d made to myself that morning when I realized what I had become.

But now I’d broken that oath, and knowing I could have done things differently was what burned my heart.

Falken added softly with a noticeably distant look in his eyes. “Whether or not we’re prepared to die, no soldier steps onto the field of battle looking for his death. We’re not out there to die for our homes and our families. We’re out there to make the other man die for his home and family”—he swallowed tightly—“or for the ambitions of his masters.”

I had taken one life.

How many had Falken taken in his time?

He walked back to me, and reached out and took a hold of my arms. “In many ways, I’m heartened you feel this way. Guilt, remorse, regret. Painful as it is, those feelings are part of what makes us human. It also shows…that we question whether we did the right thing. Whether taking that life was the only way.”

I swallowed. “If I…if I had been able to operate Andraste properly, I wouldn’t have killed him. I would have knocked him away, or maybe damaged his Jotunn. If I wasn’t so tired of running. If I hadn’t been so tired operating Andraste, I would’ve had the strength to use it better”—I swallowed hard—“and I wouldn’t have killed him.”

He looked down at me quietly for a long while.

I saw him frown, then shake his head gently.

“Perhaps…,” he whispered, then a heartbeat later the frown took hold of him. “Andraste?”

I nodded faintly. “My Warlord. Its name is Andraste. That’s what it told me.”

Again he studied me quietly, then gave me a gentle nod. “Andraste, it’s a nice name….”

I swallowed again and asked, “Why?”

“Why, you ask?”

“Why were you fighting in the forest? Are you at war with their lands?” I couldn’t hold back a shiver and averted my gaze. “Why fight at all…?”

“My father used to say, that understanding will solve all conflicts. That if two people, two lands, can understand each other, then there is no need to fight. They can reach a compromise and a mutually beneficial agreement.”

I looked up at him.

Falken sighed. “He also used to say, there is no cure for man’s greed. Why fight? Because some men are never satisfied with what they have.”

“House Kurama?”

“Yes, like Issen Kurama.”

“Even so—”

“Yes, even so, you took a life. And if you choose the life of a Khan, it may not be the last.”

“You keep saying I have a choice. But the Lady Knight, Chiren Kell, told me I had no choice but to bond with you.” I shook my head quickly. “No, she said it was the best choice to make.”

Falken released my arms. “You do have a choice, but your options are limited by what the Quorum is willing to offer you.”

“Can you help me?”

He smiled confidently. “Of course. I promise no harm will come to you. I give you my word as lord and master of the land of Caldera.”

“What if the Quorum decides to take away my Seal?”

He shook his head. “Then we’ll have to give them a reason not to.”

“How?”

He smiled at me again, and I felt reassured by it.

“By proving to them you are worthy of being a Khan.”

#

(Falken)

My encounter with Chiren had left me unsettled, for lack of a better word.

Troubled with a heavy heart, perhaps.

Either way, I slept very little.

I rose early, washed the night’s sweat off my body with a damp towel, then dressed for the day in what passed for clean clothes.

Then in the morning an aide of Ryland’s brought news that another man had died during night from injuries sustained during the previous day’s battle.

Despite the Thread in his body, it wasn’t enough to heal him or save him.

There was only so much the Thread could do. I had seen it reattach limbs and severed fingers. I had even seen a man with his back crushed one day regain the use of his legs and stride proudly once more. The Thread which resided in all our bodies, from the womb to our graves, was a miracle of life bestowed upon us by our ancestors. Without it, life across the lands would be much harder to contend with. I wondered if without it we would have learned to appreciate life more.

While it could heal us and keep us healthy, eventually all of us were bound for the grave. Time was something the Thread could not conquer on our behalf.

Nor could it save a man with his body half crushed within the cockpit of his Jotunn.

Before visiting Fallon who was staying in my tent, I sat down and wrote another empty, meaningless letter.

However, on this occasion, Chiren’s words to me kept me company.

Walking back from my tent, not my temporary tent, I found myself ruminating over Fallon’s reaction to the death she had caused, and I considered Chiren’s impression of the girl.

Fallon bore the anguish of taking a life.

I had taken so many more in my service to my homeland as a Jotunn Knight of Caldera’s Heavy Infantry.

Some men chose not to think about the lives they took. Others rationalized those deaths as necessary or unavoidable and simply left it at that.

I found solace in thinking I was defeating a Jotunn, and not a human operator.

In short, I ran away from the truth.

I often wondered how Kaden dealt with the act of killing an opponent. However, in all my years as a Jotunn pilot I had never spoken to him about it. As close as we were, there were some things we did not share with each other.

I stopped outside the War Tent, and remembered how I truly believed my heart would stop upon seeing Fallon for the first time since I left her in the care of Silvia and Marina.

Panic swept over me, the reasons for which were many, and not the least of which was her beauty.

Chiren was right. I would need to deal with Lisanna in a careful manner. Though Lisanna was not due to arrive at Calandor for another month, time was not on my side, not when I considered how long it would take me to return to the mountain-citadel travelling by horse and dirt road. The distance from here to Calandor was roughly eleven hundred kilometers. Caldera was anything but a small country. By horse and carriage, it would take us a month to travel that distance.

Looking up at the morning sky blanketed in shades of grey, I wondered how long the weather would hold.

I needed to get back to Calandor as soon as possible, and the best way was to fly there in a scout flyer. The full moon and its close orbit to our world would ensure the Ether would be strong for the next few days. It would provide a flyer’s Etherite laced wings with plenty of propulsion and lift, well above the yearly average.

However, could I risk leaving Fallon on the road to Calandor, even with a sizeable escort and people I could trust? I certainly couldn’t leave her here at camp with the First Army.

My gaze was drawn northward.

I cared for Lisanna, I truly did, yet I was not looking forward to married life with that girl. Nonetheless, I had promised Fallon I would protect her, and that included from Lisanna.

For a long moment, I wondered if perhaps returning to the capital with her was the wrong choice to make. Yet, Calandor was an immense mountain-citadel. If I could garner Alleyne’s cooperation, surely I could hide Fallon within its depths.

Giving the sky another cursory glance, I walked the rest of the distance to the War Tent.

Acknowledging the soldiers standing on guard, I pushed aside the entrance flap, and stepped inside.

I wasn’t surprised to see Tamworth Ryland sitting on a chair beside the large map table, drinking a cup of what smelled like freshly brewed coffee.

However, I was surprised to find him alone.

He looked up at me, and sat back in the chair. “Your Grace, you’re up early.” He waved his cup gently to indicate behind me. “I don’t see your shadow about.”

I snorted softly under my breath. “You mean Samuel?” I shook my head as I approached the table. “Perhaps he’s wandered off into the hills to seek a quieter life.”

Ryland made an odd shape with his lips, before taking another sip of his coffee. “So…what brings you here so early this fine morning?”

I stopped beside the table, opposite to where he sat, and gave myself a moment to gather my thoughts.

“Tam, I need your help.”

The hint of a smile curved his lips. “I thought you might.” He gave the map of Caldera a pointed look, before studying me in silence for a half dozen heartbeats. “You need to return to the capital post haste.”

I gave him a shallow nod. “Unfortunately, I can’t fly back with Fallon. Her ability as a Khan wards away the Ether and that grounds our flyers. If we travel by road, we’ll need horses, wagons, and supplies. We could cover thirty to thirty five kilometers a day on good roads, but we’ll be going through mountain passes and it’s not the most direct route to Calandor. It would take us a month to travel to the citadel.” I shook my head slowly but firmly. “I can’t afford a month on the roads.”

Again, Ryland pointedly glanced at the map. “Then what do you have in mind?”

I could feel his gaze on me as I pulled an empty chair up to the table, and sat down on it.

Facing him across the table, I took a quiet breath.

“I was thinking of travelling by boat.”

For a long while, Ryland said nothing as he stroked his narrow beard. “That would make sense.”

Still seated, I leaned forward and tapped a point on the map near the beginning of a long, thick line that was the River Boadeacin snaking its way across Caldera in an east southeasterly direction until it ended at the coast.

I glanced up at him. “The army docks at Fort Boalgar.”

Ryland grinned faintly at me as I gently tapped the map. “A two day ride on horse to get there. Nine to ten days down the river to Fort Caelum. Then another two days by road to Calandor. You’ll be home in a fortnight.”

The most favorable overland route from here to Calandor required travelling down roads that passed through a number of mountain ranges. It was neither the shortest route nor the easiest. Choosing to go down river would save us half a month of travel time. However, there was a risk. Though the River Boadeacin was wide and substantially deep, sailing through the night wasn’t common practice as there were dangers associated with navigating in the darkness. As such, the boat would need to pull into shore and drop anchor during the night. Nonetheless, I could expect eight to nine hours of sailing a day, travelling a distance of seventy kilometers which was double what I could hope for on horseback.

Ryland straightened on his chair. “I’ll make the preparations.”

I waited for him to sip his coffee, before dropping my next request onto his lap. “There’s something else I need your help with.”

Ryland lowered his cup, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly. “What would that be…?”

I held onto the moment for a couple of heartbeats. “Tam, I need to address the troops. I can’t leave before I do so.”

Cup in hand, he reached up and stroked his thin beard. “You’re right. There’s too much uncertainty in the air.”

I sat back in my chair, and crossed my legs. “The question is…how do I reassure them?”