July 6. Fourteen going on fifteen years old. Saishuu Riku.

The morning was bright and clear, with cloudlings wisping across the sky and the chitter-chatter of birds blending with the noise of the crowded town. Too bright. Too clear. Too loud. The delicate gold fittings over the roofs shone so cheerfully as if mocking me for the unease brewing in my heart. A couple of kids shoved their way through our little group, laughing, the noise grating at my eardrums. I laughed easy, Yuuhei always said so, but now, I couldn’t think of a more foreign gesture.

Scant a year ago, I would’ve jumped at the chance to explore Saishuu Riku. Now all I wanted was to go back to Heikisato, back to my apartment, back home, with everyone I knew, everyone I loved. Yet with each chapter in the manga and step of this ill-gotten adventure, that was becoming more and more of a pipe dream.

I had to force myself not to run when the pyramid-like building loomed ahead of us.

The guards flanking the golden gates narrowed their eyes as we approached. Dr Chiasa turned to one of them, a dark woman with a square jaw. ‘We’re here on business.’

My fingers shook as I ran a hand through my hair, blond locks sticking to my clammy palm. They were different from the guards yesterday. Would they know we’d been here already and were turned away? What if they didn’t let us in? But the woman nodded and swung open the gates, washing away the additional wave of anxiety that had rocked me. As we stalked past her into the courtyard, she followed us in.

Mr Mahato was outside today, laughing with his guard-- the same one with the goatee from the day before-- while reaching at one of the plump yellow fruits from the tree beside him. His lips froze as we came into sight, the words he’d been saying cut short. Then his expression morphed into an ugly scowl. ‘You!’ he spat. ‘What’re ya’ll doin’ here again?’

Ahio made to speak-- or rather shout, knowing him-- but Dr Chiasa laid a hand on his shoulder, shushing him. She stepped forward, her eyes on the sandy ground but blazing with determination. Kneeling down, grains of sand sticking to her dark clothes, she looked up at him. ‘Please. I’m looking for my daughter.’

If he’d been shocked before, now he was taken aback, his brows furrowed in confusion at her display. ‘I told ya, I am not a swordsman. If ya daughter was truly kidnapped, ya should go to them.’

‘We tried,’ And for the first time since the day of Kaede’s kidnapping, her voice cracked, showing a smidgeon of the pain she’d hid under layers of false calm. She was much like Kaede that way. ‘She is not the first child who’s gone missing, and they hadn’t found the others yet either.’

Something shifted in Mr Mahato’s dark eyes, so fast that I couldn’t tell what it was. but he shoock his head and glared at her.

‘Do ya think of me as a charity? I do not know who ya’ll are. I do not know if ya’ll are crooks or kidnappers yaself.’ He gestured at the guards. ‘Ya’ll are not special. Go to the swordsmen. Take them away.’

Ahio grabbed at his sword as the woman clutched Tsubasa’s arm to pull him away. Seeing what he was about to do, she gripped her own blade. Pages of the manga flashed in front of my eyes, the guards slicing Dr Chiasa’s chest open, too fast for her to dodge. And other flashes followed, Dr Chiasa’s face replaced with Ahio’s, his blood spilling onto the ground, the life in his eyes fading away. No, no, no. They’re ordered to fatally attack if provoked.

Not Ahio.

‘No!’ I yelled and shoved Ahio’s sword back in its sheath before the boy drew it out fully.

His glare burned into me, and just as he opened his mouth, Dr Chiasa shook her head at him. He faltered, looking between her and me, then nodded and let go of his sword.

‘We will not leave till we know where my daughter is,’ she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Mr Mahato sneered and waved his hand in a preemptive goodbye. The other guard gripped Maya’s arm and pulled her out, her protests sounding over the clash of the closing gates. The woman took Tsubasa next as he stuttered good luck. And Daisuke, his rosy cheeks now pale, followed the man without fuss when he came back.

Dr Chiasa stood up, brushing off the sand from her clothes, and Ahio and I stalked close to her. She grabbed our hands in each of hers, her expression affirming what I knew. We were Fighters. We wouldn’t be so easy to chase. And we wouldn’t leave till we knew.

The woman entered first, her expression stony as she pulled at my arm hard enough to leave bruises. I dug my heels in and clutched Dr Chiasa’s hand tighter.

I did not see her fist coming.

My stomach burst with pain as I doubled down, clutching my abdomen with a trembling arm. Stars swam behind my tightly closed eyelids. Someone shouted. Was it me?-- but another thud sounded behind me, so perhaps not. The guard's nails bit into my arm, pulling me as I hung like dead weight. No. I glared at the woman and shook her off, standing up. Not until we know where Kaede is.

Dr Chiasa and Ahio were on the ground, though the boy was getting back up, clutching his side with a growl. I grabbed Dr Chiasa’s hand and pulled her up as she groaned. Blood spurted from her nose. We aren’t leaving.

The woman rolled her eyes and moved too fast to block. Sand grazed onto my elbows as I fell to the ground. Coughs burst out of me, each breath driving the sharp pain on my side deeper and deeper. How were they so quick? I couldn’t see her coming. A surprised chuckle broke out of me, my body throbbing from the movement. Fighting against kids had been a joke. Even Kei was never this fast. Never this strong.

She grabbed my hand again, but I pulled it away. My knees shook as I stood up. The other two weren’t much better off, groaning in pain and struggling to stand back up. But we glared at Mr Mahato in unison as he ate his fruit, pretending not to notice us. We aren’t leaving.

She kicked me to the ground.

My body burned with agony each time, my legs protesting as I sent out burst after burst of my inner spirit, forcing myself to stand, to keep standing. I had to. Black spots filled my vision with every strike as I fought to stay conscious. They mustn’t drag me out. I tasted blood in my mouth, then sand after she sent me face-first onto the ground. My wrist trembled and pain shot up every joint as I pushed myself up. We can’t leave. I can’t leave.

Because if we did…

I knew it somewhere deep inside me. I knew it when I’d been struggling to sleep. I knew it yesterday when I’d glanced at myself in the mirror. I knew the secret I’d held from even myself but never wanted to acknowledge.

If we left now…

My body trembled with pain and something more, something that wrenched my heart like it was paper, something that hurt deeper, rawer. The realisation punched me worse than any the guards could ever give.

If the only way to rescue Kaede was Dr Chiasa’s death…

Then I might let her die.

I stood up, only to be kicked down again, pain burning like fire through my every bone.

We can’t leave.

‘Stop!’ cried a voice behind us.