《PERCEPTION (A New Begining)》Consequences
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I begin to come to with the faint sound of conversation luring me forward. The relatively calm voice of my Ma relaxes me. When I open my eyes I see the all but unfamiliar bright lights beaming down on me. I was in a hospital. When my consciousness fully regains a foothold I shoot up to a seating position in the bed. My mother was to the left of my bed and...
Who the fuck is he? Notepad and a suit. Detective?
“I’m sorry to have to do this but I need to ask you some questions about the incident that happened earlier at your school.”
He isn’t the police I spoke to at the school. I don’t remember seeing him there either. Then again I don’t remember too much. Looking over at my Ma I see her bloodshot eyes looking at me concerningly. I need to act calm, for her.
“Do whatever you have to.”
After asking some basic questions, I assume in an attempt to make me relax, he gets to the questions he actually wanted to ask.
“The girl who entered your classroom with the gun. From the other witness's reports, we gather you disarmed her?”
“Yes.”
“Then you proceeded to shoot her four times? Putting a bullet in both her shoulders and knees after she was unarmed. Why?”
He narrowed his gaze in an effort to pressure me. That wasn’t what worried me though. What did was my Ma’s horrified gaze. Is he trying to throw me off by using my Ma’s reaction? Why else would he have withheld that information? Has he told her anything? That mother fucker.
“As long as she could move an inch she was a threat to me! Once I felt she was no longer a threat I stopped. She is just lucky she is still alive. Wait, she didn’t die, did she? If so it isn't my fault. That’s all I have to say about that.” I could hear my Ma gasp in shock. Fuck I still got worked up.
His face wavered, away from his blank monotone demeanor, just for a second. Why did he look surprised?
“So you’re saying it was all in self-defense? Well then.” He proceeds to write something down. “Oh also, some of the other witnesses reported something quite abnormal and I would just like to confirm it with you. Did you perhaps dodge a bullet?” When he said that he looked oddly suspicious and leaned in slightly.
No one knows about my ability and it would only serve to further complicate this shit so I’ll keep it that way. Hell, if they knew I had an ability they’d probably execute me after what I did. This whole community was built so everyone here could act like nothing had changed, but that’s just a lie. These people are the real bombs waiting to go off, not me. But, it’s not like anyone can prove it even if they saw it. They wouldn’t even be sure of what they saw.
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“What, no. She shot at me but she missed. They must be mistaken” He looked unsatisfied with this answer.
“Yes well, Miss. Gun may I speak with you for a second.” They walked outside of the room making sure to shut the door behind them. My mother was giving me a strange look.
As soon as the door shut I began to lose control of my body. Shaking and crying while attempting to stop the emotions by clenching my teeth. I struggled to make my way to the bathroom without making too much noise.
I can’t be seen like this. Not by Ma.
I turned the sink on and sat in the bathroom crying. Taking my anger out on the tile floor.
Turning off the sink I composed myself the best I could. As I went to open the door I heard him talking with my Ma. They must have come back in while I was…. I hope she didn’t hear me.
“Listen Mss. Gun I don’t know what your son’s mental history is, but he displayed quite a high level of violence during the incident. Whether or not he was in the right or wrong for doing so is for a court to decide but no matter what they decide there is no arguing that it was very methodical and psychopathic. I Highly suggest he sees a therapist as soon as possible. Having him facilitated where we talked about earlier, just for a short period of time, may even be required for him to make a mental recovery.”
I quickly open the door to cut off their conversation, but I act like I didn’t hear anything. I sit down on the bed.
“Well, Miss. Gun please think about what I said. I may get in touch with you again Tom, but goodbye for now.”
The door shuts.
“Listen Ma, I—”
“What did you do? Did you really do what he said?”
“What did he tell you. What I did was save people. I stopped her from killing possibly everyone in the classroom.”
“You tortured her! You beat her, and then you disable her for life after you had already taken the gun away.”
“SHE KILLED TOBIE, SHE IS LUCKY I DIDN’T FUCKING KILL HER WITH MY GOD DAMN HANDS!”
“STOP! Listen to yourself. What is wrong with you? I thought you were just acting out when you got into a fight with Tobie but I didn’t even think you would be capable of doing this. That’s why I didn’t believe him but you didn’t deny it. You.. you seemed proud of it. I didn’t raise you like this. He said all the other students who were there are terrified of you. They don’t want to go anywhere near you. They were more scared of you than the girl who tried to shoot them!”
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“Would you rather have had me die? I don’t understand Ma I didn’t kill her. I did the right thing. didn’t I?”
“I understand that you lost your best friend and that has affected you but that doesn’t excuse what you did. Normal people don’t just turn psychopathic when someone they love dies. I love you and I want you to get the help that you need.”
“The help I need. You’re not talking about whatever facility he mentioned to you, are you?”
“I think it’s one of the options that we need to take into consideration.”
“I am not going to be locked up in a cage.” I will never let them take me there. I will rip and tear my way to whatever freedom I want no matter what! I’ll kill whoever tries to take that from me.
“No one is talking about locking you in a cage. It’s just one of the options available and I think it should be considered.”
“It’s not a fucking option!” Her eyes….. why does she look, “Ma, are you scared of me?”
“No…. I’m just concerned for you.”
“Ma you’re up against the wall.” I just noticed it but she has been progressively getting further away from me.
“What!... Oh, no. I just… need a little time to process everything. I’m going to talk to the doctors.” She practically ran out of the room.
She’s scared of me. Why? I did the right thing. I did. I stopped myself from killing her.
We have been heading home in complete silence. I want to talk to Ma but I don’t want to get into an argument about the facility. I know for a fact that if we get into an argument she will win and that might be the last straw to convince her that I need to go to it. The only reason I’m able to keep quiet is that she said we’re heading home. No matter what she wouldn’t lie to me like that so as far as I’m concerned I have to avoid that topic at all costs. I don’t even understand how I feel let alone enough to argue it. Still, this silence is soul-crushing when I think about the fact that she might actually fear me. The only thing I have left and it’s scared of me.
She finally spoke, “The doctors…… when I spoke to the doctors they had some troubling things to say.”
The doctors? Shit, what did they tell her? Did they notice my ability?
“They said that you were covered in marks and bruises and the bruises weren’t recent. They had been there before the incident. I’m not going to ask you to show me but I need to know. Has somebody been hurting you?”
“What, no. They are just from skating and messing around with…….”
Tobie. The name caught in my throat. I couldn’t get it out. No, I could but I knew what would happen if I did so I chose not to.
“They’re nothing to worry about. I promise.” I had honestly forgotten how badly my body looked. I could see why those doctors would think I might have been being abused. To be honest, though, it didn’t hurt nearly as bad as it looked. That was close. I guess this is further proof that they can’t pick up on my ability. I need to keep it under wraps especially now that the detective-looking guy seemed interested in it. It’s not surprising for someone who was told that I had dodged a bullet to be interested. However, the way he said it. It was like he didn’t doubt it’s validity. As if he knew it would be possible for someone to do something which seemed impossible. Plus he seemed like he was putting the moves on my Ma. Which makes him my enemy.
I attempted to change the topic, “So am I just supposed to go back to school and act as if nothing happened?”
“No of course not. School has been canceled.”
“For the week?”
“Until next year.”
We didn’t have much time left so it makes sense. I guess that means I’ll have more free time. I’ve got to train. I have to get better. I can’t live with the fact that if I was in that situation again I still wouldn’t be able to save Tobie. All I have left is Ma and if I lose her……. I will turn into someone she would be terrified of. I wouldn’t care what anyone thinks of me anymore. As much as I hate the fact that she might be scared of me I can’t say she has no reason to be. I won’t deny it. It felt so good to beat that ‘THING’ down. I could lose myself in that feeling. The feeling of power over another.
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