The bell rang after what felt like an eternity. I quickly got up and left the class with my head down. Thank God it is finally lunchtime. Something I know I can’t fuck up.

Will she be there?

Of course, she will be there it’s fucking lunch dumbass. Should I talk to her? The last thing I want to do is look like a bitch on my first day back. I think I should be able to handle it though. I already know she is with someone else.

I sit next to Tobie in our usual spot. There she is.

“You going to go talk to her?”

“Yeah, of course. I told you I’m ok with it.” Well, guess I’m going to talk to her now.

“Sure, that’s what you said.”

“It’s no big deal, look I’m going right now.” Fuck. I’m going. OK, stay calm.

“You haven’t moved at all though.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

I stand up. It’s NO big deal. I slowly walk over to the table she’s at. She notices me and stands up walking out of the cafeteria into the hallway. What? Did she want me to follow her? If not I’m going to seem like a stalker. I follow her out and find her standing across the hall by some lockers.

“Hey, um. I heard you woke up. I’m um, glad you’re alright."

“I appreciate that. Listen I just wanted to let you know that it’s ok that you started dating someone else, and I’m not upset.”

“Yeah, um. About that. I didn’t know if you were going to wake up or not—”

“It’s fine you don’t have to explain yourself.”

“Well see, I felt so guilty because I thought I would never be able to tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“Well um. Me and Bryan started seeing each other before you were in the coma and I wanted to tell you so that I didn’t feel like the last time I saw you, I was lying to you. I hope you can forgive me I’ve felt so bad ever since you went into a coma.”

“Are you fucking with me!?”

“No don’t get mad. It’s just you have to understand we just weren’t working out. All you do is skate and you never go to parties and I felt so bored and lonely at a party. That’s when I met Bryan and we started talking.”

“Why the fuck are you even telling me this. You could have just acted like you started seeing him after my coma.”

“No I couldn’t lie to you I felt so guilty and I talked to Tobie about it and he said I should tell you.”

“OH, so what you’re saying is he would have told me if you didn’t.”

“it’s not just that.”

I walked back into the cafeteria and straight to Tobie. “You fucking knew.”

“Yes, she said she wanted to tell you herself and I thought it would be better that way.”

“Only because you threatened to tell me.”

“Look, I felt it was better if it came from her.”

The rest of the day went by in a miserable haze. I grabbed my board and headed out of the school as fast as I could. But it wasn’t fast enough. Of all the times to see that bitch in the parking lot. Abigail gets in her car and drives away.

“No fucking way.”

769k.

“Those are the last digits on the license plate of the car that hit me. She is the bitch that hit me! And drove off!”

I throw my longboard down and skate home.

Sitting in my room I watch the seconds tick away on the clock.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

I shut my eyes. She didn’t even have to tell me. She could have kept that shit to herself but her guilt mattered to her more than my pain. Fucking bitch, maybe the rumors about her treating the other girls like shit were true? Maybe I just didn't want to see who she really was. Who the fuck is this Bryan guy any—no. It’s not his fault. She is the one who cheated on me. She is the one who hit me with a car. She is nothing but trouble and pain for me. She deserves to die. She should die. I should kill her—WHAT, NO! What the fuck. Why would I think that? I’m just upset, I need to calm down….. I wonder how long Tobie knew? Did he know about it before my coma and not tell me? Or did he figure it out afterward, and not tell me. I can’t shake this feeling. I just want to hurt someone.

Bzzz. Bzzz.

My phone vibrates in my pocket causing me to open my eyes. Tick. “Huh, only one second. I guess my theory was right. Without visual information for my brain to process my thought process itself can be sped up even faster than normal.”

I look at my phone in shock. What the fuck does she want? I open her message. (“I don’t know what to do. You’re mad at me and I don’t want you to be but I just felt so guilty. I always mess everything up in my life and blah blah blah…………………………….blah blah……………………blah maybe I should just kill myself blah blah.”)

You come to me crying for attention? Are you for real? I would love for her to kill herself but she and I both know she doesn’t mean it and she just wants sympathy. She doesn’t mean it, but maybe I could convince her to— NO, don’t think like that. I wouldn’t do that…. That said I don’t plan to help her either. I message her back. (“Do whatever the fuck you want just don’t ever talk to me again.”)

Wait, could I get arrested if she kills herself? Fuck it, I’ll screenshot what she said and send it to her parents. It’s their problem anyway and I can say I tried to help. I grab my longboard and head to Tobie's house.

I need to know how long he knew about it.

Knock, Knock

“JOHN!”

“I GOT IT TAMI! I AM ALREADY GETTING THE FUCKING DOOR!”

The door opens and I see Tobie's father in his usual jeans, with no shirt and a drink in his hand.

“TOBIAS, YOU GOT SOMEBODY HERE FOR YOU!” he shuts the door.

A minute later it opens again and Tobie steps outside shutting it behind him.

“I figured it was you, but I wasn’t sure. I didn’t think you would calm down this fast. Listen you don’t have to apologize.”

“APOLOGIZE! What the fuck do I need to apologize for? I’m just here to get answers.”

“What, you’re not— you’re still mad? Maybe it is too soon.”

“Just answer my fucking question so I can get the hell away from you. How long did you know she was cheating on me?”

“Listen Tom.”

“NO, just tell me HOW LONG?”

“I didn’t know for sure until you went into the coma and she and Bryan officially started dating right after. But I had been suspicious for a while by then-”

BOOM.

Tobie flew back into the door from my straight right to his nose. Blood starting to pour from his nose, shock on his face, he went to front kick me. Time slows. You have always been a little stronger than me, a little faster than me. That’s changed! Stepping to the right of his front kick I threw a left at his nose again but he brought up his hands to block. So halfway through the punch, I lowered the target to his throat.

WHAP.

He clenched his throat choking as my last right hit square on his chin, knocking him out. The blood from his nose hadn’t even reached his lips yet. I stood there staring at his sprawled-out body that was only held up by the door. It then fell backward. His father standing over top of him confused by his son’s body lying on the ground. Of course, the one time he is quick getting to the door.

“WHAT THE FU—"

The usual drink in his hand went flying towards my face. Leaning to the right I caught it just left of my head, with my right hand. Open-end facing him I slashed the can through the air horizontally covering his eyes with alcohol. Now blinded, he fell over his son’s body while I dropped the can and ran, picking up my board to skate away.

Sitting on Snakes Head Mountain I could see the whole community. The lights of every house and building stand out in the night. Well, I know better than to go home. I’m sure Tobie's mom will have already called my Ma by now. But on the other hand, I can’t, not go home. My Ma would be worried sick about me. Why then? Why did I do that? I’ve never hit Tobie before, not once have we fought. So why? Why did it feel so good? It was so easy….. What is wrong with me? Something isn't right.

Bzzz. Bzzz. I pull out my phone and notice how bruised my hands were now. Even in the dark, you could see the discolored skin.

“How could it all go wrong so fast? This is the worst day of my life.”

I read the message. (“Get HOME NOW!”)

After standing outside the door for five minutes I opened it to a horrifying image. My Ma was sitting at the table, silently, with her back facing me. I approached carefully not to disturb the already agitated predator and sat down at the kitchen table across from Ma. Yup, she is pissed no surprise there. I wish I could explain it to her but I don’t understand it myself. Ok just don’t show fear. She can smell when I’m scared. All I have to do is tell her what happened. Shit, where do I start, so much has happened.

“So because you are upset over a girl you decide it’s a good idea to beat up your best friend. I would have never thought you would do something like this.”

“How did you…..Tobie?”

“Yes, I talked to him. He explained a lot though I’m sure he left some things out, for your sake and his. I’ll give you one day. One day off school to calm down, but after that nothing like this better happen again. You will not leave this house unless for school, for the foreseeable future, and if ANYTHING like this happens at school you will be arrested. You can thank Tobie because he is the sole reason you aren’t already. Is any of that…… not clear?”

“No.”