Seven carriages of cannons continued to fire into the Elven hideout in Leprechaun town. One devastating punch of lead after another hit, as men began quickly reloaded the balls and priming the shots of the last fired. Another carriage rushed down the street behind, bringing reinforcements. The horses in the rear of the approach were whipped as they strained to pull a heavily armored battle wagon with a magma-gun on top. The cannon carts fired a second time, all was quiet as they pulled away. The new car entered onto their place on the street corner, the man inside his iron turret began to wind his lever turning the gun 12 rotating barrels that shot out flaming magma crystals with lead tips sparking as they smashed into the bricks of the wreckage.

Ratom awoke from his slumber on the pile of cold gold he lay sprawled out on in the corner. He had smacked into the target that he had been digging above to heist, but how long ago? He wondered if Mickey was still sleeping in the garden shed above the vault. A rope was going to need to be dangled from above, and each brick tied up, and lifted one by one. He rested his chin on his fist, he had to think of the best bucket so they could tie and lift the gold to the ceiling.

“Creak!”

The vault door let out a loud moan as it was being opened.

“Lets get it out of here quickly c'mon can’t you open that door any faster” said the elf outside.

“It’s on hinges,” said a henchman standing at the ready.

“The executive has already flown the coop, and it's bad business for me to be seen here either. I have to go, but remember you pawns do not cross us when it makes no logical sense to do so for you or your families” said the elf in the suit and tie as he left.

The elf broke into a brisk speeding walk. On getting to his first roadblock he removed another key of crystal from the chain around his neck inserting it into a steel door hidden in the backroom of the underground bar. He took three bricks sitting by, two in his pockets and one as a door stop for the backdoor. He entered the escape path dug in connecting him to the sewers. Elves have no noses, so it was a place where one could hide with his stash for quite a while.

Back in the vault the Elven bouncers lugged in an empty cart immediately set about transferring the bricks from the pallets stacked high. Ratom sat up in the opposite far corner, the floor was many stacks of gold both away from him and above. This wasn’t good, he thought, hastening the shoving of brick after brick into his sack of fabric. He would have to run after as soon as the men left. He tried picking up the bag but nothing happened, so he took all but two out.

Ratom's body froze up in panic watching the men work, his eyes poking out from behind a stack. Should he go now, or wait? Their backs were turned as they hastily re-stacked with precision of much practice, surely they were too distracted. The entire vault shook, and as dirt fell from the squares above where it lay exposed. A torch next to the door fell out of its metal holder and rolled over.

“We are running out of time” said a man, the pitch of his voice raised over his head with his arms.

Henchmen had begun rolling onto the cart sheets of gold, an entire brick row by each man at once. The underground area rumbled again as individual bricks tumbled out all over from the stacks, dirt from one area poured in, and Ratom's body was moving forward; in the chaos of the moment his instincts saw no other options. The leprechaun's feet moved along the path toward the exit on the opposite side of the soldiers. He could feel the bricks beginning to move under his weight.

The room rumbled a final time with the last shot of the cannons; the wall the henchmen hastily picked from began to crumble apart before it quickly collapsed with the sound of many hits of bricks before anyone had time to run. Ratom stood frozen on his side as it continued to be alive with movement. He jumped to the next pallet as the one he had just stood on fell forward smacking atop a growing pile in the center. He jumped in the center and ran out the door.

The bar was empty, but fighting could be heard emanating from the top of the stairwell. Ratom ran to the backroom panicking; he finally noticed the secret exit propped open and took it out. Boy did it stink down here. He shoved the third bar of gold in the sack and struggled to slowly carry the load forward, until he started dragging. Mickey was a pro at escaping, so Ratom wasn't worried at all about his brother. No way anyone could stay sleeping with all the cannons going.

Mickey lay up above in the garden shed, still asleep. The gnomes had started ringing their bells late last night and he had engineered a pair of earmuffs to get himself some shut eyes. The city guard patrolled throughout the garden looking for anyone escaping with their lanterns, while others were led by dogs. Smoke, and dust from the building demolition drifted across blanketing the entire neighborhood. Some drifted into the shed tickling a nose. Mickey coughed.

Prince Edward stepped onto the blackened lawn from his royal carriage and horses that matched in color. A soldier stepped back from the approaching hook, and then so did another.

“Any crystals?” he barked looking all around for somebody who knew anything.

“No sire, just gold,” said a soldier.

“Any Elves?” he said.

“No sire, but plenty of criminals were captured including several leprechauns of course” said the soldier who finished off his report with the blue salute.

“Very well, since you are in command now soldier have them all tortured and find out if any of them know anything crystal connected” said Edward.

“Yes sire” said the man now in charge running off.

It was a short distance to where a line of prisoners was being loaded onto a steel barred carriage.

“Destination the dungeon for you lot” the man who had just approached laughed as another picked up Mickey and tossed him like a bag of flour.

Prince Edward coughed as he walked down the charred stairs leading to the underground shlock bar. He gasped as he reached the bottom where soldiers carried out the gold, a few bars of precious metal deformed from melting.

“Lotta gold and shlock we seized off this tip, biggest night of our year” bragged the chief of Capital City patrol as the prince entered the room.

“Gold is worthless leprechaun porn, it does nothing but be rare” said Edward frowning.

All the men were silent, nobody felt like arguing with the hook today. The prince bent to the fountain which the statue spout lay cracked in half, toppled over into the dirty pool of shlock. He sighed before leaving.

I am king now so things will change. The positions of power underneath me will be held by ability, and loyalty which are the most important abilities found in servants. Blood relations are simply a social construct invented by the crown, thought Edward as he dropped his brother's severed head from top of the castle wall.

"Splash" it said landing in the moat.

An alligator moved swam in diving underneath the murky waters as it got closer to the floating head. Prince Edward dug his yellow crystal teeth into an arm recently severed by hook, and washed by hand. He stood in the window of his tower watching the other animal eat in the water.

The prince was self very self aware. He could tell that day by day he was getting closer to the crystals, feeding his warrior spirit with only crystal, and other spirits was producing great changes in the body, mind, and soul. The legend was true, and he would be it. Edward walked back to the table setting his brothers half eaten arm down. From around the kingdom Edward's harem would gather to party again the next day where they would feast on the rest of the former knight Dick Richard. It had already been set up by Snaggy and the Bootlickers.

"Now with this diversion done the search for the ever elusive means of teleportation, and my mothers location goes on with absolute no progress" said the prince complaining to himself.

He went to the cabinet and took out his dwarf pipe, and skull container with a dome cut, in which he stored his special crystals. The one problem with a hook for a hand was that it made everything human even more difficult for Edward.

"Knock, knock knock"

"Drast who is it now?" Said Edward as he threw quickly ripped out a painting of a fruit to cover the human decor on the table.

The thick door swung open, on the other side a small elderly woman. Her hair gray and balding in an area, blue veins popping into high visibility all over her leathery thin paper arms, and she hobbled bent on a cane.

"I was called to do a personality test famous all over the planet, an analysis of ones closest of the twelve crystal types" she wispered in a frail voice.

"Oh goody I've been waiting weeks for you to come out here. Now how's your eyes anyway need any help getting to the sofa" said Edward clapping excited.

"Terrible" she said sniffing deeply in and wheezing out after crossing the threshold.

"Somebody's been cooking, but it smells like the chef doesn't know a traditional dish" cackled the woman as she started for the table feeling her way by bouncing the can back and forth in front of her.

"I can assure you I have the best Crazin chefs straight from their homeland" said the prince.

The old women cackling again.

"Honey I've witched over this lands longer than your empire, with those years of experience you learn how to cook" said the witch sitting down as her arms began to search the tabletop.