Despite controlling all the banks, the vaults hidden inside them or even some of the ones in the dungeons, and holding most of the crystals in the kingdom, the leprechauns had virtually no rights. Long ago the elves had convinced mankind that the innocent green guys had the potential to at any point in the future pull strings and yank levers plundering fortunes from underneath a backdoor they would dig into their own apparatus. It was after this revelation that things were decided that the leprechauns would become a neutral race, having a special status that forced them into a life of accounting for all crystal currencies at the royal banks that the crown owned enough percentage of in order to helm. Regardless of whether individuals wanted that life or not, a good one would only come to most by doing the service.

Sometimes a little leprechaun would rebel, running off deep in the woods with their banjo or harmonica to escape into a life of a traveling band of woodland creatures touring. It may have been a pitiful humiliating experience, but it still was better to some than drab life the course set on a one path career working around toxic materials rotting away once brilliant leprechaun minds. It was an inevitable destiny set for each member of their society since the first and only grade of their mandated schooling. It was there that one's job title was drawn according to who the educator liked best.

Micky walked down the dirty cobble side street under a bridge, entering Leprechaun town. The gold that had once flowed onto these streets in the legendary days that was at least rumored to have taken place, had long dried up before he was born. The pub was abandoned dark and boarded up windows as Mickey passed it by. Shlock had been outlawed, all the drinking taps had been shut off at all the watering holes, even the horses were thirsty.

“Hey there Ratom, my good luck charm” said Micky greeting his brother.

“You know me Micky, dressed green, leprechauns for life” said the other leprechaun walking up doing a goofy blue salute held for only a sloppy second before he let his guard down with a laugh.

They got off the street into an uncle's garage, ducking underneath the straw ceiling. Feet squished against the muddy floor as a cow let out a moo. The wood door that had lifted slammed down behind them shut.

“I'm thinking that you took us to the wrong uncle's address Micky, this one's a farm” said the other, beginning to anger in the stinky dark.

“Just chill and hear me out for this talk ok, things are happening with the royal family, an internal purge is in the process of taking place, and all us leprechauns need to be sticking together like glue and scheming just like the rest in order to get a better life for ourselves negotiated in the end, you understand,” said Micky

“Ok what kind of schemes, and plans are we talking about? How about not having to be exposed to so much corruption day in and day out. Those crystals they force on us are toxic, I know it that they emit some kind of poison gas from within that slowly destroys the soul eating it away slowly as the body begins to scale over” said Ratom.

“Look the crystals aren't all that bad, enough with that conspiracy junk they provide so much power to our society, but you are right about some of your ideas, I've read most your essays of course and have to agree there is some kind of hidden cost at play here, a secret curse to these crystals we haven’t yet fully figured out that could be very costly” said Micky as he lifted the door back open and the two stepped outside stamping off dirty shoes on coble.

“You've been too exposed to the crystals already Micky, we are going to be getting out of here soon if things keep going bad with the feud in the throne room, or maybe even a civil war as different sides fight for power. This whole neighborhood is already packed to move, we all feel it brewing in the air” warned Ratom Applebun.

"And where will you all stay? You need a roof and walls, or the children will be eaten," said the other brother.

They had come to a fire burning inside a bed of rocks that lit up the path.

"Show me your wrist Micky" he said getting close to the fire and holding up his hands for warmth.

Mickey looked away as he raised an arm loosely which started up the inspection turning it over and folding the sleeve back until it was cleared. The process was repeated until one leprechaun brought down his face for closer look, alarmed.

"Your body has already formed another small scale that makes three, brother time is running out. Stay off the streets as much as possible please if you want to still make the rainbow in the end" he warned.

"I know we've had this same kinda talk before, but thanks for the heads up," said Micky.

The figures, cloaked in green and red, walked along the end of the street past each dwelling. Each building in the ghetto slapped together unevenly with small hands of clay forming rough multiple story apartments painted with rainbow and a pot of gold to mock them. A one crawl hole entrance branches into each building and is able to reach everything inside.

"I'm just trying to look out for you that's all," said his brother adopted from the same orphanage.

The street torches flickered before another went out, and the shadows cast even thicker outlines on the dimmer background. Two reached the house on the end of the block and walked up the steps past an overgrown garden that had turned brown as vines rot before knocking on the door. A leprechaun appeared.

"What do you want?" It asked.

"We are here for the before-party," said Micky.

"Right, you missed it all, sorry," said the bouncer.

"Come on mate all the lanterns are turned up, I can hear the voices inside and music" said Ratom, protesting with a sharp pointed finger behind the half-opened entrance.

"Alright you two are banned from the action tonight, your presence offends our highest roller, and we want his gold" announced the bouncer stamping down his boot.

"Alright have it your way" said Micky, as he left back down the short path to the street.

The two walked into a back alley cluttered with trash before coming to the back of the house. A burrow below with a large oak door latched up high. One jumped three times trying to open the door, his hand grazing against it once slightly. The other was running in the garden looking for something to stand himself on in order to gain entrance.

"Smack" he collided with a gnome standing still on guard out in the garden.

Both were knocked over and scattered like a pair of dice, one breaking the fall with a flower.

"Hey, you're not supposed to be here!" yelled the gnome in response.

He rang a cow bell fastened to his collar, sounding the alarm. Micky ran back out of the garden, as dogs began to bark up the hill, down the block. Ratom was still jumping up with his arm outstretched as Micky burst out of a bush.

"What are we doing apart? C'mon let's work as a team together and boost each other" said Micky, getting down on his hands and knees on the topsoil.

The gnome was running around the lawn madly ringing his bell. One leprechaun climbed onto the others back before jumping up and grabbing the latch at last. Several gnomes dashed around the bend; there was no presence to be seen for the ones who continued to dumbly beat on their bells sounding the alarm. The acting neighborhood watch who slowly walked back to guard it.

Later a small candle would faintly light dimmed down with metal shade inside a room of rusting gardening equipment, pools of growing potions among spilled liquids, and bags of fertilizer ripped open half used.

"Did you bring the heisting supplies, where's the duffel bag?" Whispered Micky lowering the candle under metal beams that held pots full of dead soil and sticks brought in for the winter.

The other removed a brown cloth bag from his shirt, from that a shovel, a jar of pickles and some green apples.

Mickey nodded "time to do this the old-fashioned way I'll take the first shift" he said digging into the soft soil below.

Ratom sat on a stack of several flowerpots turned upside down. His hands strained trying to open the jar, so he eventually settled for an apple to snack on.

*Meanwhile teleporting you straight to the center of Tenare*

"Wow she really does have ice in her veins," said a soldier.

Soldiers all around the background were working large saws on both ends, others dragged brush to fires that had burned away all day in the moonlight. The queen was basking on a lounge chair plopped in the snow. She was half naked as she watched her men clear cut a path to where the mountain of crystal had been discovered at the planet's core.

Snaggy stood far to the side shivering in his furs. The Bootlickers refused to come out to this place, and so he was the queen's only counsel while she spent large portions of her days here. It was the only place she seemed to find safe, sometimes sleeping out here in the woods with the wolves said by legend to defend these lands from intruders in packs of up to one thousand.

"Sreeeeeeek" cried a small animal from nearby.

Snaggy shuddered he needed a break from all this action, his bones and muscles were beginning to tire out from so much of it.

Prince Edward had locked himself up alone in his tower. The wedding was still set for tonight, in only six hours. He paced back and forth, no part of him wanted to do this, but he had no other options at the moment because Nancy had surely been slain by his dagger on their last date.

“Oh well you fool it is time to unwind in celebration does not mope like a brat” said the prince to himself as he poured out a tall pale of shlock to slurp.

“Gulp, gulp, gulp ahhh that's good” he said patting himself on the stomach as he was slurping it up.

“Bang” the door blew open, falling down as the nails pulled or snapped from the hinges.

It was another prince, Dick Richard. He was a man of more fighting than words, and he greeted the other prince who had fallen to the floor in surprise with an outstretched glove.

“You absolute buffoon, do you not see the new contraption rigged up on my arm?” said Edward, getting up by propping himself up with a metal anchor and then showing it off.

“I see boss, I'm here to help you if you swear an oath right here to make me master of all the other generals in charge of the entire military if our campaign is a success” said Dick Rickard the 25th stepping forward arm outstretched as he bowed before doing a quick blue salute.

Edward was up, his mind focused on plotting out a mission for his help that had finally showed. To clear out his mind he dumped the remainder of the shlock down his throat. He would need to feast again soon; his blood was growing weak from lack of human consumption lately. The wedding would be worth it with the feast he would be having on the honeymoon.

"I need you to find me teleportation crystals, a colossal quantity of them for my experimentation, I don't care how awful your methods for obtaining them are, I will pay you handsomely trading some ultra-rare rocks from the dwarfs taken before the mines just blew to bits," said Edward.

"Of course, if your strategic mind has decided this will win the war in the end I will see to this plan at once. I heard about the disaster at the mines, the unfortunate smelting accident by the dwarfs blowing up all the crystals they mostly only had control of royal papers are saying, as a prince I know that is bullshit and everyone in on the scheme had no doubt pillaged everything before setting off a controlled explosion at the base," said Dick Richard.

"Get out your dagger unless you want me to do it" said Edward, cutting into his good hand with a sharp hook.

Dick Richard removed his glove and dagger and repeated the exercise of bloodletting before shaking hands with his brother forming a pact to secure power together.

"We come, and we go from this planet, but our actions forever remain inscribed in the stones below, so no blood deal can ever be broken without triggering an infliction of curse extending forever to one and his children beyond the grave" they chanted together a pledge of allegiance.