《Knights, Nobles, and Cannibals》Family Plots
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The queen pouted out in the stands all by herself while Edward Longbottom was setting up his one hundredth wedding below on the fair grounds. He had all eyes in the kingdom on him and evidently nobody cared anymore that the king had died, and she was widowed.
A fly landed on her face and Snaggy quickly swatted it away with his leaf fan. She gave him the stink eye before going back to observing the construction of the wedding set. A stage to perform a fake wedding with another victim for a murderer son. She would teach him right and wrong eventually, but in the meantime prevent him from arrest he did not deserve. He was her special child, the twelfth one.
Below, the prince had taken control, flashing his hands to instruct each carpenter as he strutted across the stage microphone crystal in hand.
“Prince did you know you are first in line to be king when the queen bites the dust?” said the eldest of the Bootlickers in tow.
“Give them some more crystal fish-food guards, clap, clap, clap” said the prince motioning to orders with arms.
The spotlight shone on Edward as he made his way to the piano on stage for a song. His fingers started playing a little nursery rhyme. His vocal cords started to hum the intro in a deep-toned country voice.
“I come from the tower in the valley, to make a feast in the alley on kings' plate, the streets where we eat, oh no it's a song, for we hope for more, here or there just a scrap to share here or there, in my travel mug” the prince sang a trumpet joined in behind the stage.
“Those lyrics do sound like an interesting lifestyle maybe you should try living it for a change” said the queen as she entered with her guard kicking the Bootlickers out onto the street.
“Yes mother, what schemes are you hatching to dampen my wedding, tell me all about them” said the prince turning around on his seat to stare in her eyes.
“Well, I've talked to the poor thing and with how boring she is I doubt she will last during the honeymoon before you hunger to devour her flesh,” said the queen.
“Perhaps, but that's none of a nosey mother's business” said Edward in defiance.
The queen took out her bat and wacked her son right in the head.
“Ow! you evil witch,” cried the prince.
The guards with their separate allegiances stared each other down. The prince slapped his mother across the face with his human skin glove as she attacked back, giving him a bloody nose with a smack before the guards broke them up and she stormed out.
Edward sat back at his piano bench and took out a handkerchief to wipe the red off his face.
Yasham was in the dressing room with two Slywomen helping to put wedding dresses on. They were in the process of changing her outfit to ninety-nine when the queen stormed in.
“My dear, I wish you a very excellent wedding,” said the queen eating a grape from a wedding bowl as a tear ran down her cheek.
“Thank you, your majesty, I'm sorry about your husband and thank you for your blessing.” said the bride.
“Anytime, have fun” said the queen scowling a split second before her face lit up with a smile.
Out the paved path through the forest the queen walked along; a royal park stocked full of game they could hunt. The fishing pond was full of creatures big and small, some of which were deadly poison frogs. A creek running through the entire thing, along cobble path, and a wooden bridge she crossed. The stone outer wall of Capital City castle loomed above around the apple trees grown next to where the steps began to climb up.
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“Where can I find Humpy around these parts?” Asked the queen.
“You can find him atop the wall, your majesty” said the apple waterer by his cart.
“Hmm I guess I'm getting my steps in today” said the queen as she went up steps to the top of the wall.
The wind blew at her dress as a bird flapped by. Down on the grounds outside the wall a shanty market town gathered, slapped together with royal trees cut down by axes and covered by tarps they had brought in on their ox's. It was a market where any goods could be purchased with crystals. She scowled as she walked atop the thick high wall that separated humans from animals.
Humpy Dumpty sat in the third tower to the north with four other men at a table. The cards were all over and so were little baggies of crystal. They were gambling at the big dogs table, at the Rottweiler bar. Humpy was on the rocks; he had doubled his starting bags of crystals. The door slammed in from a guard's boot kick.
“There you are Humpy, you’ve been avoiding me!” yelled the queen strutting in.
All the other gamblers at the table ran out the back door. One grabbed at Humpy’s winnings, managing to snatch two baggies before he noticed on account of being startled by the queen's entrance. He gave chase to the last man tackling him just before he got to the door. The queen snapped her fingers and three guards piled on top trapping Humpy and the thief to the floor.
“Take him away boys” said the queen as two soldiers escorted away the thief.
“Wait, all the crystals are mine hand em over!” she ordered stomping down her foot mad.
The soldiers hard started beating up Humpy who had tried to escape again when they had beaten up the thief. The guard gave her three bags of crystal before leaving and locking both doors.
“What do you want this time?” said Humpy from the floor looking up.
“I want you to keep an eye on my son and his bride,” said the queen.
“Oh which one this time?” he said, around one of his eyes was already turning black and blue.
“Prince Edward Longbottom”
“Ahh the twelfth son, the one said to be closest to crystal”
“Yes guard, bring the device out please” cried the queen.
Out of the shadows the lizard came, its tongue slurping as Humpy Dumpty began to quiver in fear on the floor. The creature advanced on him, who had turned over in order to hug the floor for comfort. The lizard laughed in a deep unhuman hiss as he closed in. Humpy shook as a small object collided with his backside and then landed next to him on the floor. The lizard headed back to the shadows as Humpy uncovered his hands from his head.
“Next to you is a paging crystal with one use, once you press the button guards will come swarming to your location en masse '' said the queen.
“Huh that's neat” said Humpy finally getting up and dusting himself off.
“Your orders are to track the prince and his bride, wait for him to attack her, and then call in the guards in order to save her life. You see I’m very concerned about her. My son has a hot temper” she said.
“Yes mam, I understand my orders” said Humpy Dumpty up on his feet proudly doing the blue salute.
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The queen removed her gloves to untie the little knot in one of the baggies. She struggled, finally pulling it through, her hands trembled as she took out a small crystal and shoved it up her nose. She made a stink face before taking out another, this time special baggie from her dress and pulling out a bigger high quality crystal from within to put in, replacing the inferior she had sampled, then when she was done she threw all of the baggies into Humpy’s outstretched arms.
“There will be much more where that came from if you do your mission well,” she said.
“Yes your highness” said her servant as she left the tower roof.
Across the castle wall to the west tower she traveled. This side was beautiful, all untouched royal wood with the mountain where her husband had supposedly been slain up above. Inside the next tower, she found the master elite highest general of all military powers.
“Nimrock, what's up?” said the queen.
“Yes mother what can I do for yah?” said Nimrock as he put the final touches on polishing his fancy armor.
Elizibethy sighed.
“May I take a seat?” she cried.
“Of course”
“Your father had this place running rampant with crime, it is time to crack it all down, the taverns, the hotels, and the red lights, it's time to outlaw shlock for only special occasions and special relations to the crown” the queen commanded.
“Of course we are going to need a very large force of soldiers to enforce policies like those, well paid in crystal to remain professional too” said Nimrock standing up.
“Of course the vault has been opened, and the train tracks to dwarf mountain are nearly complete,” she said.
“Yes your plans sound good enough to me, we will at once double our manpower and equipment in order to destroy the unneeded distractions out of the communities so they can think of nothing but the crystals we all worship, enough to improve our fortunes I might add”
“Yes you do that” said the queen heading for where she figured Snaggy would be waiting.
Prince Edward was due to be wed in two days. He was now in the tavern guzzling down shlock, at the bar getting drunk. Where had Nancy gone to hide? None of his little birds had found the prey yet, until they did he would have to make do with boring old Yasham.
“Another round,” he said to the bartender.
The prince had enormous bank vaults full of crystal stored all over the kingdom. It was enough to make life too comfortable. Edward was a man who enjoyed pain, and his life was lacking in that department at the moment. He thought of all his former lovers and which ones had hurt him the best. Nancy was top of the list; she had the highest demonic energy out of all the other life forces he had become entangled with.
The room had brightened far more than before, and everything was buzzing with pleasure as all the shlock began to stack up. The prince was in a good mood, nobody would be getting eaten alive tonight. He got up to the dance floor as the band began to play a funky tune, and he saw the bodies dancing all over the floor loosely with the rhythm. He was lost in his own thoughts as he began to dance alone, maybe he would find a quick little morsel of a snack dancing on the tavern floor before midnight to quench his unquenchable thirst for blood.
Nancy sat across the street watching from above, laying atop the building. She was spying on the prince, and was ready to kill him, and then his mother. They would eat her steel as their last meal before another innocent victim could be cannibalized. All that was left to do was enact the plan for the hit, and to escape to live another day. This wicked empire would soon crumble, or worst case the queen would be a martyr. She knew she was guilty of many crimes and hoped this would be enough to right most of them before she traveled to the crystal core at the center of Tenare.
Snaggy was in the throne room all alone. The Bootlickers had gone to play with the prince and act as bait to anyone who was interested in coy charm. He heard a whispering voice in his head calling him to attention. It sounded like the king was faintly whispering into the ether wanting for something that could not be deciphered.
“Oh no I'm going mad, my eyes have seen too much” the jester cried.
A bookcase pulled back and the king peaked his head out from the other side. Snaggy jumped back in surprise as he approached the hiding place now revealed.
“Oh my most trusted servant and loyalist friend you haven’t yet errored on her bad side” said Merdin the 4th from where he hid.
“You did not die like they all said you did king” Snaggy said.
“Shhh be quiet fool, listen here my former wife is unhinged I plot to divorce her and retake my rightful place at the throne” whispered the king.
“Snaggy and the Bootlickers where are you lurking about, I need your input on my plots at once" yelled the queen outside, getting closer.
“We will plot her destruction later, if I have your word, that you are committed to being loyal to me above all, my loyal friend that is on my side,” said the king.
“I serve you first, so that means I always will” said the jester as the bookshelf slammed back shut right in his face.
The queen approached.
"Jester it is time for you to record a decree that from now on all shlock is restricted by the crown, it prevents us from growing closer to the crystals" she stated.
"I will decree it at once and order all the taverns closed at once due to your orders" he said.
"Order that they burned to the ground," said the queen.
"Anything else?"
"Yes, our army is lacking the age for joining is to be lowered from 16 to 12, that is all" said queen.
"Right, I will have it broadcast to the entire kingdom at once, your new policy combating the overconsuming of shlock it will no longer flow from the tap on the corner of every street pub" said the fool strutting off to the command center to relay the news.
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