A dense fog filtered through the thick moss-covered jungle, songbirds all over formed a song, a snake hung from a tree and fairies flew into flowers to eat the pollen. The giant mushroom towered far above everything else blowing black spores in the breeze as the convoy advanced.

“I hope we are going the right way. I'm ready for some of those crystals” said an excited soldier riding on top the advancing armor.

“Remember you steal from the crown, and we take your hand” yelled the commander from inside.

“DWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARFS!” yelled a soldier running out of the underbrush ahead as he dropped his machete in panic.

“MOOOOORAAAAAAAAAAAAKAA” the dwarfs screamed, running out of the wood with axes in every hand.

“Oh uh” cried Fred in fear.

“Not now master you must fight like a real knight” said Jed drawing his sword.

The guns, and arrows of the convoy began to fire at the advancing threat lighting up the jungle. A dwarf was blown to bits by a cannonball, and another harpooned by the big harpoon shooter attached to a donkey cart. The empire soldiers scattered all around, beginning to take up defensive positions as some fired their arrow guns. Several dwarfs had already jumped over a log, all three of them shirtless with loincloths, and rapid bloodshot eyes quickly cut down by the arrows.

Fred looked all around him, and then twice over his shoulder as he made sure to stick close to his servant like roach honey. The sounds of battle grew loud with metal on metal, and screams of man and dwarf fighting to the death.

“MOOORAKAAA!” yelled an enemy as they attacked, slicing a soldier's kneecaps.

A hatch on the ground opened, and more ran out while more dwarfs had climbed into the trees above. They came dropping down with a thud crashing onto soldiers' heads as they both screamed. A soldier was on the ground as a dwarf scratched into his face with sharp claws. Fred ran after Jed as he started stabbing the dwarf. Fred hesitated in fear, as a pack of creatures advanced and jumped on his friend tackling him to the ground.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” screamed Fred swinging madly cutting off a dwarf head and stabbing another.

Jed was still on the ground. The dwarf was on top of him with an arrow through his chest, but still alive and fighting, biting into Jed's arm, and drawing lots of blood. Fred ran over stabbing the creature over, and over, and over until he collapsed onto the ground crying.

“I’m afraid all I can do is put a bandage on that soak it in some shlock,” said the witch doctor.

“Don’t you people have ingredients you can use all over a place like this?” asked one soldier as the doctor went to work.

The old witch raised a gray unibrow from under his same colored rob that his beard stuck out of.

“Young man, I've got a lot of patients here and I'm very lazy,” he said in an ancient wisp of a voice.

The soldier cried in pain as the witch doctor poured shlock onto his stub of a leg before he wrapped it up thick in green leaves and sealed it with roach honey. He was onto the next patient who was cradling a limp arm on the ground as Fred stood silently behind him staring off into the distance, his expression blank.

“Oh dear you've been bit” said the doctor as he picked up the limp arm and dropped it as it flopped out of the socket.

“Hmmm I'm going to have to crack that” said the witch.

He bent down over the patient whose arm loudly cracked back into place with one swift motion. Jed screamed loudly in pain causing birds to fly off above as the doctor caused the cut in shlock.

“Hopefully that stops any infections from forming, but my oh my do dwarfs have dirty mouths. Alrighty next” said the witch doctor, leaving.

The next man over was motionless covered in thick dried blood seeping out his chainmail. Fred briefly made eye contact with his Jed before he went back to watching the wood in silence. The witch doctor took out his zombie crystal and brought the fallen soldier back to life.

The commander ran in with his fancy battle armor and scruffy facial hair.

“Any able bodies it is time for us to leave this place, the rest of the army is counting on us to advance, come on up and out you lazy bums” he commanded.

“You know that thing they yelled when they ran at us all crazy, what does that mean anyway?” asked the soldier next to Fred and Jed back on the tank.

“It translates to something like long live the crystal I've heard,” said another.

“The dwarfs smoke their precious crystals before every battle, giving them immense power and no fear. That is what we are after boys” yelled the commander from his dark slit underneath the seat.

“They seem completely nuts. What use could humanity ever have with something so toxic to the mind” said a man in glasses, and a jester outfit riding next to them on a mule.

“Did anyone ask the pacifist for his advice?” sneered the commander as most of the soldiers near pointed at him and laughed.

“I’m still here aren’t with you all aren't I? I've come to draw and record everything that transpires. I'm no coward” he calmly said.

“Shut up idiot!” yelled a soldier throwing a coconut at his head.

The jester blocked the projectile from hitting his noggin with an outstretched arm. He sighed, cradling the bruised arm. The laughter continued as the man steered his mule away with a good hand where they could be alone in peace.

An hour later the forest opened to a clearing where empty bamboo huts were cluttered. The mountain towered up ahead as planes flew over top of it dropping exploding bombs. Blocking the path to it was a chasm wide as a castle.

“Commander the dwarf mines ahead blocking our path, how do we get across?” asked a scout running back to the group.

The tank hatch opened and the commander, a man only a hair higher than a dwarf climbed out.

“Good question,” he said strutting over to the edge of the drop.

Directly below was a long dark drop with a bottom that couldn't be seen. The commander looked to his right where further down he saw a large ramp of earth leading down.

“We will siege the mines under dwarf mountain, and surprise them on their own turf” he yelled, pointing.

“You heard the man, let's move out troops!” yelled another commander close by before another could spread the word further down the line.

The convoy slowly changed course, driving besides the dwarf shantytown as the humans set it on fire. It wasn't long before they descended down the ramp into enemy mining operations.

Prince Edward stepped out onto the open train platform, his locks of long black hair blowing behind him. The dusk sky had a special hue of green as the trees passed by. The cars banged and rocked threatening to come loose as they rounded a corner.

Edward had decided to settle down, and finally get married. As soon as they were back in Capital City not long from now, he and his bride to would be wed. He rested his hands on the outer railing, as he became lost in fantasy. There would be a big party, and many small ones leading up to it. He would indulge in a many weeks binge of schlock, and cannibalism until he tired of it before marrying his bride for a rest of his life spent living clean.

The Prince removed a small wrapped object from his coat. A pipe with dwarven carvings lining it, and a container made inside a human skull. The white cracked crown was lifted off, as the prince took out fine crystals and placed them in his pipe.

Prince Edward cackled as his brain lit up with pleasure. He did not actually wish to marry Yasham; she was far too easy going and did whatever he wanted. What he really wanted was Nancy, his ultimate challenge, and somebody who would never be pleased. Whether she wanted to admit it or not they were exactly alike. Both would never feel true happiness apart, but maybe they could fill in the holes in their brains together with their own tainted version of love.

He began to wrap the device back up in cloth. Legally you were allowed ten different ongoing marriages as a royal so even with marrying her friend to make the main girl jealous there would still be one place left for her after Richard had been stabbed, and he could always clear up another spot.

“Might as well” he sighed, taking the pipe back out for just one more puff.