When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. A great quote, one which presents the power of optimism and find opportunities in the middle of crisis. A quote used a lot to motivate young seedlings to persevere through hardship, to never give up.

I always wondered if that was all there is to the quote, it seems too positive. I've seen people who've tried their best and overcome their circumstances but still failed. I know of people across the globe who've died because of birth defects, a natural inevitability.

Opportunity was never given, life wants us to suffer.

I thought of all excuses I could come up with, as I laid in bed and struggled to breathe. A medical instrument lodged into my throat, opening the pathways and allowing me to breathe air.

A sense of discomfort is what I have to live through day by day, a foreign object inserted inside my mouth helping me to live for another day, another day of suffering. The curtains covered my sight, all I had was a tiny space occupied by various machines.

I was truly alone in this place, left to suffer on my own with no one to talk to, which I won't be able to do but I needed the company.

I was not allowed to move, eating was practically impossible. I ate through my blood, doctors directly injecting fluids with essential vitamins and minerals to keep my body healthy. The pain of not being able to eat gnaws on my body, I was barely living.

My stomach felt empty, I didn't have to go number two and a machine is helping me pee. A tube inserted inside my penis, my body truly was in discomfort. I couldn't sleep at night, they needed to give me substances that can make me sleep for hours to freshen my tired mind.

Everyday was a repeat of the last, constant torment until the day I am supposed to die.

Sex was never an option, I never once tasted a woman before but I doubt I'll be able to anyway with how I am right now. My body has grown incredibly weak that my little junior can't even afford to stand up, not mentioning the fact that the discomfort I felt outweighed the pleasures of flesh, a tube was inside my penis for god's sake.

I was doubtful if I was truly living, the three basic needs of man, I couldn't even do them right.

As much as I love my family, they need to let me go. I didn't choose to live this way, they wanted me to live.

The doctors warned them before the operation that if I live then I'll have to live through a machine, to live in discomfort everyday. My family happily agreed, they didn't care about anything just the fact that I am alive is enough to make them nod their heads.

I get a second chance at life, how utterly wonderful. Quitting is bad, but one should know when to give up and by this point I see no merit in living further.

I wanted nothing more than to end my life, to end this never ending days of suffering. I begged, prayed for anyone to kill me every single day, yet no one answered my calls.

Days pass and my countenance have gone a drastic change, a flip in mentality affects the body. I had no desire to live, I wasn't able to end my own life, I have become a puppet.

My eyes clouded with dark shadows, I wasn't able to think clearly and that enabled me to do what I planned on doing. I held my breath, and waited as my life slowly come to an end, the sound of machines beeping resounded in the room alerting the nearby doctors.

When I woke up once again, I was in the same bed an IV drip connected to my arm poking through my body. Everything looked the same, yet I have this gnawing feeling that something feels off.