I lie on my back as the grass tickles my skin, the sun shining down on me. I get this feeling of deja vu, I never understood why that happens. Part of me believes that a side of our brain stops functioning for a few seconds and restarts, giving birth to our episodes of foolishness.

Still, the thought that I have somehow travelled through time did cross my mind. Idiotic I know, but instead of feeling dumb my curiosity grows.

If the space-time continuum was indeed accessible surely we have accidentally travelled back occasionally, however a contingency is activated once someone rewinds. If they go to a specific time, all memories about the future events that will happen in that time will be wiped out leaving everything back to zero.

An idiotic theory if you ask me.

Still though, mistakes were always what kept me awake. If I can somehow erase everything, start back from scratch I'm sure I can do a better job. I may lose all relationships, but I can surely make them again.

A small price to pay for a chance to reset life.

Still, all of this is just my wishful thinking because I thought about it in depth. I don't want to lose myself. If I somehow get a chance to relive my life, I would be able to live a better life yes, however the thought that a dream like scenario where everything was going well for me will haunt my dreams for eternity.

It scares me, it makes me feel guilty. Do I deserve this chance? If my real self failed and I succeeded, am I living in a dream? is this even real?

You could cover your mistakes, however you can never erase the past. What you are searching for is a perfect run through life, a dream that you can never achieve. Life was meant to be hard, to live is to suffer.

In the real world, there will come a time where you will be stuck. Mountains of failures and mistakes will weigh upon you and you don't know what to do. There are three choices to make if you chance upon this crossroad: Resume, Restart, or Quit.

If you chose the first, you get to continue your life you carry your mistakes with you. All your experiences, you let it hone you develop you into something more if you put in the effort.

This is the path where you'll have to work harder, you don't know what happens tomorrow so you prepare.

The second choice is to be a social outcast, to dream of what could have been if you put in the effort.

This is the easiest path to take and one which will trap you, thinking of a dream like scenario yet not act upon it never progressing. A road where the path is virtually created, an illusion of reality. You become happy yes, yet you still live in a dream trapped like prisoner.

The last option, is where you choose to end everything.

This is the hardest path to traverse, cutting off the road towards the future. You constantly think about your failures, self-esteem is at its lowest you get scared of creating more mistakes. You get so attached to the past that you forget to see what's there in the future.

You abandon the future and end it as a story of someone who failed, not as someone who persevered.

Mistakes were never meant to crush you, they were made as a piece to strengthen you. You don't run from them, wallow in them, or forget about them. You were supposed to learn from them and be a step closer to your ideal self.