《The Flesh and Blood Dungeon》Chapter number 8
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"How am I gonna get the adventurers to start challenging my dungeon?"
Boar Core thought to himself.
After a brainstorming session with the blue screen dude (forgot what I have been calling him till now...) Boar Core spent a day chasing around birds trying to catch and eat one, and in the end settled for stealing a dead one from some kind of bloated rat monster.
[You have gained materials
- Green Canary
- Diseased Rat]
"Create Minion Green Canary!"
"Why am I not pooping it out?"
Boar core started to feel a slight pain in his intestines.
[The bird is trying to go out the wrong way]
Boar core began to push it out.
But it wasn't working.
"Feisty little fella aint cha?"
Boar Core started pushing double time. veins could be seen bulging out the sides of his neck.
It was then that boar core knew, this would be a battle of attrition.
Who knows what kinds of horrors that Green Canary faced, fighting against destiny, but alas, it was only mortal, and with a last crying rage, Boar Core turned the tides of the battle.
"THIS. IS. A. ONE. WAY. STREET! (usually)!"
The bird got shat out of Boar Cores ass so hard, it flew right into a tree, and was crushed and died on impact.
"Do you think it can carry anything in that condition?"
[No... no I dont thiink so.]
"Lets try that again"
Not long after, Boar Core had a small army of Green Canaries.
Next pat of the plan.
"Use that guild contract as a template, and make a bunch of flyers with the following written on it"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE, THERE BE A DUNGEON ROUND A BOUTS
[You don't have to use old english, and I think you are mixing in a little pirate jargon there as well...]
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THE ADVENTURERS GUILD IS A BUNCH OF SISSIES
[Surely you can go about this without insults...]
JUST TRY AND CHALLENGE THIS DUNGEON WHICH IS HIDING RIGHT AT THE EDGE OF THE FOREST
[Now I'm thinking it might be better to just remain hidden...]
SEND YOUR BEST ADVENTURERS FROM THE GUILD SO I CAN SLAP THEM WITH MY BOAR COCK "wait scratch that off, I dont want to give away too many hints" I MEAN COCK. JUST COCK.
In the end a flier was printed out for each Green Canary, tasked with dropping it over the city.
- -------------
This is not a different POV! just imagine you are a security camera in the corner of the guildmasters room looking down at the scene. (I hate different POVs).
(Guild staff member) - "There are rumors about a new dungeon that has opened up near the city."
(Guild Master) - "Has anyone gone inside?"
(Guild staff member) - "No one has found it yet"
(Guild Master) - "Then why are you bothering me with rumors?"
(Guild staff member) - "There are reports of goblins and orcs in the area dropping loot. Also, these flyers have been circulating the city"
The guild staff member placed a flyer onto the guild masters desk.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE, THERE BE A DUNGEON ROUND A BOUTS
THE ADVENTURERS GUILD IS A BUNCH OF SISSIES
JUST TRY AND CHALLENGE THIS DUNGEON WHICH IS HIDING RIGHT AT THE EDGE OF THE FOREST
SEND YOUR BEST ADVENTURERS FROM THE GUILD SO I CAN SLAP THEM WITH MY BOAR COCK I MEAN COCK. JUST COCK.
Sincerely Yours,
F&B DUNGEON
(Guild Master) - "What does the F&B stand for?"
(Guild staff member) "We speculate it means, the Feces and Booty Dungeon."
(Guild Master) - "Why?"
(Guild staff member) - "Well, as you can smell for yourself, it seems all the flyers have been coated with feces"
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The guild master quickly dropped the flyer and started to sniff his fingers.
(Guild Master) - "That makes sense, but why Booty?"
(Guild staff member) - "Those loot drops from the goblins and orcs I mentioned..."
The guild staff member gave a pause before he explained himself, to add drama to the delivery.
"The drops are womens panties."
(Guild Master) - "Womens panties?"
(Guild staff member) - "Yes sir, in regular size, and extra large"
"On the bright side, we have been seeing a lot more action on the field by our female members"
"Also, there are signs that one of our members has known about this for some time. A short while ago, a member of our guild went missing, we checked through his belongings and found several pairs of womens large panties similar to those dropped by the goblins. We are lookiing into this matter further."
[ Authors note: Remember the adventurer guy who got eaten by Boar Core? check out the materials Boar Core got for eating him 
]
(Guild Master) - "Have you made sure to collect all the flyers, so that the city does not hear the things this filth is saying about our guild?"
(Guild staff member) - "That's not possible, sir."
(Guild Master) - "Why not?"
(Guild staff member) - "There are hundreds, maybe even over a thousand of the flyers all over the city"
The guild master picked up the flyer in his hand, and crushed it.
(Guild Master) - "When I find the one who did this, I will crush them!"
(Guild staff member) - "That flyer still has feces all over it, sir."
There was a knock at the door.
(Guild Master) - "Come in"
Another guild staff member enters the room.
(Guild staff member #2) - "Theres something you should see... it's another flyer"
The guild master got out of his seat and snatched it out of the staff members hand.
(Guild staff member #2) - "These have also been dropped all over the city"
HEAR YE SONS OF BITCHES, OOPS I MEAN ADVENTURERS GUILD, YOUR GUILD LEADER SUCKS DUNGEON BALLZ. THE GUILD LEADER COULDN'T CATCH HERPES IF IT SHAT ON HIS FACE, IS THE GUILD LEADER A DUDE OR A CHICK? WELL IT DOES MATTER FOR HOW I'M GOING TO PHRASE THIS. SHUT UP THIS IS A GOOD IDEA. NO, WHY WOULD I SAY THAT? OH WAIT THAT IS A PRETTY GOOD IDEA. OK DO THAT TOO. HEY I THINK IT'S TIME I MAKE ANOTHER FLOOR. WHY DIDN'T THE BIRDS TAKE THE FLYERS TO THE CITY YET? YEAH SEND IT.
Sincerely yours truly,
F&B Dungeon.
PS. The guild leader has a vigina.
And if its a girl they have a penis.
OK I'm done now.
A scream could be heard for blocks around the guild hall.
The staff member #2 was unlucky enough to be infront of the guild master at the time, and got kicked through the door.
(Guild Master) - "CALL IN ALL THE ADVENTURERS, ALL OF THEM! SEARCH THE WHOLE FUCKING FOREST! IF A PERSON IS BEHIND THIS, BRING THEM TO ME ALIVE SO I CAN KILL THEM WITH MY OWN HANDS! IF IT'S A DUNGEON.. IF ITS A DUNGEON... DESTROY THE CORE ON SIGHT!, NO! BRING ME THE CORE, I WILL ENSLAVE THAT PIECE OF SHIT!
As the guild member went to carry out his orders, he could not help but think about how the guild master was still holding onto that feces covered flyer.
-Back at Boar core-
"Do you think that will get them to come?"
[dunno.]
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