《Where did it go wrong?》Chapter 26: Sadness
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I started thinking about Kasa as I walked to her residence. After our last interaction, I realized just how much she depended on our relation. She was so scared of losing it she didn't want me to make new friends. Although this was technically what I wanted to do, I wonder if her dependence on this relation went too far.
Regarding the question of whether Kasa cared about me or our relation, the answer was obvious. She would've become attached to anyone who talked to her when she was neglected. The relation was the important part, the person was merely a placeholder.
Honestly, I made a pretty mistake dealing with her in the past. I should've been more distant when I interacted with her. I seriously underestimated the impact that isolation and abandonment would have on a child. Kasa seemed like a relatively normal person in the past, who would expect her to start acting like this.
On second thought, was she normal? All she did was study for 4 years before I talked to her. There's no way someone like that would be normal. I felt stupid for missing this obvious sign. The years of neglect Kasa faced were definitely enough to cause a child to go crazy. Rather, maybe it was strange that she seemed relatively normal after all these years.
No matter the case, her slight craziness combined with her overdependence on our relation sounds like a recipe of disaster for me in the future. In addition, she already started threatening me, imagine what would happen in the future, thinking about it scared me a little.
However, it didn't scare me too much. The reason why Kasa was like this was that this was the only friend she had right now. Once she goes to the academy, she'll definitely make more friends. As Kasa and her friends go to class, eat food in the cafeteria, and talk in their dorms, they will become closer. Their interaction will cause Kasa to realize her obsession in the past was just because she just wanted someone to talk with, and it's possible to trust other people.
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Even if she didn't make friends, just talking to new people should be enough for Kasa to come to the same conclusion.
Therefore, I was worried about Kasa but wasn't too worried, everything should resolve itself after she goes to the academy. All I have to do is wait till then. Still, I should do my best to create some distance in our relationship.
I was also a little curious about what Kasa had planned for me, it was unusual that she left for her house without me. It had to be related to magic because she knew about nothing else. At the same time, I can't use magic, so it couldn't be spells or spellbooks. Therefore, it was probably related to developing my phylactery.
I should probably tell Kasa I'm not interested in magic anymore. The soul techniques I have should be enough to run away and live a peaceful life in some countryside, so there was no need to learn magic. Rather, learning magic might draw unwanted attention to me on the road.
'Well, I've already arrived at her house. I'll see what she has in store first before telling her I'm no longer interested in magic.' I thought to myself as I walked through the door.
Once I entered I saw a wooden circle on the floor made of books. I recognized what was happening right away, Kasa really was trying to make me develop my phylactery.
When I tried to tell her it was useless, Kasa interjected.
"I'm a tier 3 magician now, I can definitely make you store enough mana."
"Kasa, it's not about you, I just don't have the talent."
"You aren't talented but I'm incredibly talented so it balances out."
I sighed in exasperation. We did this a few times before but it never led to success.
What Kasa was doing was trying to brute force my body into forming a phylactery. If a human can sense mana, he technically has the potential to develop an organ to manipulate mana, the phylactery. The phylactery was formed when someone stored a certain amount of mana inside their body for a long period of time, causing the body to adapt to the mana and create the organ.
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When I first heard that, I was incredulous, how can a body adapt to a new stimulus by forming a new organ? However, this was a fantasy world, who knows how the human body here compares to the human body in my world.
Unfortunately for me, my problem was that I was barely able to store any mana or manipulate it into my body. Technically, I could form a phylactery, but realistically it would take me decades through just regular practice. The only way I had even the slightest amount of hope to form one within a decade was through using an unorthodox approach.
One such approach was what Kasa was doing right now, increasing the density of mana around my surroundings. The logic is that if there is a high density of mana in my surroundings, even if I can't store mana, my body would naturally be exposed to more mana and form a phylactery.
Although I said I needed to use unorthodox methods to develop my phylactery within a decade, this wasn't one of them.
When Kasa first tried this method, I asked her how she thought of this. I had hoped this method would succeed until she told me she found it in one of those romance novels I handed her.
Although I said that I had no faith in this method, I still let her try it multiple times, just in case.
The result today was no different from the previous attempts, I had made no progress. Although I didn't mind the results, the same couldn't be said about Kasa.
"I'm sorry, I failed again." Kasa said in a meek voice. Her head was pointed down and her hair had hidden her eyes.
I was about to say something before I had a sudden thought.
'So far, I've successfully managed to get close to Kasa, but perhaps I'm getting too close. We can probably be considered somewhere around very good friends right now, but it should probably be fine to demote our relation to good friends. Furthermore, this is the perfect time to distance our relationship, I might as well try it now. '
'Let's see, the best way to distance our relation right now would be sadness.'
I put my head down and mustered up the saddest voice I could and said "It's okay Kasa". Before I continued speaking, I lifted my head, squinted my eyes to pretend I was holding back tears, took a brief look at Kasa, and put my head back down.
"It looks like even when you advanced a tier the method still failed. I've already accepted I'll never be a magician anyways." When I finished my sentence, I started sniffling.
Judging by the awkward silence in the air, it looked like Kasa didn't know how to respond. It wasn't that surprising, I don't think she has encountered a situation like this in years. this was my first time acting sad in front of her.
"I don't feel like practicing magic today Kasa... I'll be heading back to the mansion to read a book." Before Kasa could say anything, I slowly started walking to the door.
As I opened the door, Kasa started whispering.
"I didn't mean to-"
For a dramatic effect, I decided it would be better if I pretended to not hear her and shut the door before she could finish her sentence.
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