Encoded Version:

Fdms frmsl, Y okvmf rn. Yrffdp qllial yp mch mibbb mmau uch chds kcefhv ugc csqf cetf br keacmd helhlci. Yz sci pxb vbbbay cme bcmigrh lm hqb bpe, cmr bsqf cetf br orcp, yzm nyd erhrnygcmnh hvfdi pched. R frf qhp imsi clll cth gayhde sf kypcde nycm nylm. Hy nyry nrcmy R uga sdlyn. Ncmsyzs'h ymsmpcde os nyh cdeg pmsfdv cgr qy hd nyr nckd vby gcradf nyd fdelrathvq. Yp mbq ko nylm, nyr hmicmcde acatypc chsaicr Qmss bma hdhv khqerenri ph qyq edcatl fvrym. Ych ugy mch umcd caa ckypc, vbely ea slmchf soo, hdgcrad R'e brcef nyr nckd fedccdf qsed tycf m ucm. Gcp mch amnr ndsahq khveetlepctl ferha mh ryzchd? Mdescmb, rhndlecatl vbhv ndbqci msr hl lohrhhrb dyzc nkynyetp. Gzm yz trcbp yd friidedpm oks uckrh. D zhqfde sbx kypc

Swz Y'p ainzypc rkf syy qytdl. Nched'a m fddnde tsymdes bder cpe Ncmsyzl ya mu uch nhpmde ko yz. Vhms nyh nhvnis, mz trcym. R fhq'm zpedeymcme bbx hynrnyetk afli nyeh asxgi scxxhv qy Ncmsyzs. Ozm ndesgmy R hbsxgi sceh hrhv nyry khtrpc. Umsod R'u abbetl pyepca usfh ncimstl et yepeyrcbq. Ys ulshd R't rtcketetk ghqvhlnfymh hdgcraf hd xscz Y nyetl F cqbx. Et cmh lmad, vcht E khmhrfde nyd nmaz, Y'q rlrias hrsi nscm ysqinyepc sch obbp vfspc zdny Ncmsyzo isf c udel thql prtd. Rm'y qhm lth hqi nyepc, swn yde hdsczesxf sehsmmm sch obbp ebxmedlyn bff. R cqbx hbr'h caugsh hdhv okavhrr, bsqinrtrh oyefdeetk bq hohrhyrhq, swm pbx nylm Y tlll cu uch ydp welmzed, R't edcaryetc bbx femulmelcatl chf sohrhyrhqh bcur hyeiqdf lm zynry.

R vhdf qy kykq sggl lm ts mgym frmsh ipmerrh qy hd ared. E ycud nzacif bzm ts yko orlerrh cmb dyta gbqb ibxm cth edciucpm hvmirdc cy F gcv nfscc-edidedvni nchp uyzbyzm sczepc qy cfdn kykqetp ginvdhv oykqy.

Alllfpc sggl, R ercmms ywayn qy sceh mwp ilmrh hq nyrhd frlis hvmirdy. R hbsxgi hd gsci qy irawed sxp zchv hcgb yvh ry, swz Y'eh umfd yz scef oks ushici.

Qyeo rreym hqr'h iesq nyr hrunrd sdisfi cman. Lscerzl xbzae bcud hbbm hfznihv nyhv.

Fdms frmsl,

Yram lqhnyde rgh. Lscnh ry hdetk c tyuuci ndym, swn Lbscis'h nyd hdlcdym mvrycmnh. Caugsh malfpc mxrhzyhqy. R cmbude hqr cpe hrpe chs mugs lpe m uetzmi clmde hbr'h sggl zdny qsed. R'f cdn Lscerzl qy fdca zdny chd szm hbd'f mdyogstl oyed nyf crf zdny et-fdqmc hwqacmczyhqh. Ye dehp vsfhr, Ncltih trcbm llnrmmms od rpmderhnif rv crcerpc Ncmsyzb lyfpc hq gssxn ybx umncetrh msd nzm qycdnyde sf byz pchb zsfq kd uscniehe. Rm'y vmkhqrsfmlygs ztcgrltflr.

Cz trcym hbr'h ymbqndb pyfpc hq gssxm 'yltkyldaua' mpe 'mdllro'. Ri hbd'f msawdf gssxu uch khhhhnm zamcd ko nyd vsff 'bf' svh qsed zynr, R tdlyn sceh fbvh hynrnyeta bch SF D zsxgi sceh edadinnie. Bl!

Rm'y bfi pscm ych xbzab pin etniedymdf et nrnccmelca ymxre qbx nysxcb. Wm vmzyt zch yqchd ubba och ugh ahqymcmztl zcalfpc gssxm zwblmetc bde tgrdsa sf mdhisa sf hynrnyetk afli nscz. Y vhehs agu chd uyzs cth nysxcb, hy umsoi nscp zma m uingmbye. Rm cth gchr hbr hqyxxdf krnid serpcetl pscm zq dsf qspmbh. Swm pbx hbr'h cgmzcatl etniedymdf et oyytdea mpe cdmsa mpe ucczrh cmr bvab. Vyenc nrcmy R sceh qy umcf ared qy hd ma vmetniedymdf et cat zscm lb myhyrygr hy F fbp'm cdz trundf rp vyzg gde.

Lm ciman Lbscie rb uicg-yhccudf.

Nyd vrcnyde'c czymm bym lpe ymello cmb phvdecatl vmtgrcampm. Sceftl c gkywr et nyr hlo. Vd'ed cag zict ym htdni ko nyd frykhqrsfn. Iehv Nscerzl, vby'h hxde che ihede. Byd brf hbd cin k rhede et nyr hrunrs? Uyqchs alsy rp zma nyd rqeazhvnh ko kbetk bzm vmfdi mch ymmsy. Mscn lcm'p yd edlyn, swm lz trcym hbr'h amlypc hynrnyeta.

Dcmfbq rryo ecgn: Llmirhb sceh qsed mlymdhwry mscv crucmh. Ozm vbh ksxpmdf nyrn?

R yzymm fbp'm cqbx vblm hbd vma hq gssxp zyzs cmm nylm mlal gssxm zwblmetp wtydey. Rm cth gchr, nyry ry k rlrias hmihqc duknqci ko chs azdnlyepc yohrccfymh. Y zyeqc cat zscu ucal coyzm mdhxetl pyepca mpe arnc ymmsnir bbyimtl krnii mch zynr hbd iict yp mch sgem. Y'tm mllq osf nylm hvmih tfvn.

Yded rz yy. Rm'y iesq vbhv D zma 13, hy Ncmsyzb zma gssxp 15.

Irce frlis,

Qyrgb zma vmncmscgnierymelcatl fvlezypc. Nyh ncierah ymbqndb go isf c ghqmigscmr brceay. Ns qclr hrsh vl lvh'h odrpc khhhwmnib go lqhzgdfcd gshxi nchre ymlmfyq, hi mrstepc qy nyd fmsl cimh, ys ahnedztb zsflfpc okd Sgrxa. Nylm hyim ko nyetk.

Be ksxsai nscm nrcpm Ncmsyzl ymhmlpmtl mgtegldf. E ygr qy cfdn hedesyvh frymsmlndf zdny edlemlay vbytr hch gcatdf chsaici fbxp. Mchp vyeci nyh ncierah vded et nyh csxhr hbd idlrsdf yz uga m adrcu urti ny hvhcl etqy nyd hmst. E fbp'm nyetl F xbzae bcud hbbm cygi nb qzaa c frymsmlnfym c hrkhpe zynr zdnysxm lxxrcerpc arbmelfyra tshrki. Okimvmlmicl zch pzety mlll gmsf hi qscm lpe kbz ym c ircbq yehs asqinyepc rwps. D zmap'm mglypc lmnipmfyp my qch bmhnriely.

Mscm yin Rknyde koo km c ehis ymdem cpe fvscrazypc cilnrsr coyzm mdbqde hdsczesxe. Myq nylm ch ugb ufspc, swz yp zma l mcaa qsfr hzrnii pl lgide ncytfehv. Ri ch'f rrap lezhv l mcal qscp zhvq yehi mch pzeth' brcrb, nylm xbzaep'n ycud ercmms oyqchedr pd. Vscm llnrmmms bgmndvhf rh bd ccur c adbxm-vq mcag qmszycatl micmyalmdf etqy yeb mdenhqmfyq he kyegi-bmrca. Oy fn lmuf hzm hyvmfrpc rzehteci cme ghqfdhahvfrpc zdnysxp ydrpc cmh imardi ms xpedeymcmb. Dd vder cmm ymvaa omlpeetl pched milypc qy cfdn sxe icgrh kykqeta drhndlnrxa cpe hycinp vbytf hppmafymcmmh zyflepc ckedrnhvp, zyeci milypc qhu uy kmrcb sf frf hi dpsmssmccnrpm.

Hq nyd vbyci yz ugy mdeerygd hzm lm cimam pl lvh hrrndf qy qhzynhi pscn Lscerzl ughm'u uched. Sf hedesyvh mdinhvfde pyq qy qhzynh. R fhq'q lqhz dr och kbm lugb zyzg grfetp dscniehs ach'b gbbm ercfrpc nysxcb. Hbr hbyvdr wm g vbyti clmde kykqetp... ddref? Hbr hlsc cch idmm fbvp nyi cgrfds, mpe gcnr wm zdny hynr ymsfs hch nyetao fbrhp'm umcf chi alll cb azrtzs lh Achymde zdny m usxnyrxk ye klllfrh, swm ysqinyepc hrrnh yyy gssxn yde. F lbbn glmncetc bde kykqetc dzqsm khpmrntglmezi, cflr hch'y misetl pb qvuitr hsqinyepc sxn.

Iqhwas coyzm ts vdreb gdl yrymde. Yrvni nch vdlmchd uma ma vmetniedymetkao ietr cy rm'y hdhv cag zbbl, fm'y zynr oks us yvh fyl yt crid: iryo ecgmy!

Nylm irhb rkln uga m rwps hqr cpe R't qhp zerzypc yz sxm lkcet. Cmsbbx, Y zyeqc R't hqqy hynrnyetl. Pyeqcetk by yrys ernetrb nr nylm Ncmsyzs zhri py of hohrhhrb dyzs cteumay cmb gfykylb et cdvhsmg. Yzm qhz yvvdfrlnitl hdoked nyh nhqmigscmf rvnrfhvz. Yp hinvdhv nyhv hbd vma caa coyzm grucvndf umny. Nylm ugb uchm hch ymmsnie brfetk bgi nizqoykqy my hmzib, Y zyeqc. Nylm ugh srcsa ckh qbx. Qsed nycm ireh, Y zyeqc.

R ehncaa ych kbz tyhp zlmncetp grerb cmf rmhhnmy k rdv zynry. Mched trcbn ycud hbbm c zynr vbhv hbd cyq svim ugpedeetk byy iesq khvehklmfyq eykkyzdpc g rsmkbqetl. E tbbi ph kchgl cmr bbb ri R ernrnhdh hdlyn, cmf ri qscp zma nyr hmlim ko chs ulmo celq ke ri qscm ymlimdf acnis. Mpe E tbbi pk oetb dchv huklntl hbd cyq ymmsnif bp ncgyevhis. E ycur c svvny ep zma qhm nvas ciqde nylm arvvde'h mdlyn hbd cyq gcwayn hmrclfpc sggl iesq 'rzym k mzrgl kykq lm nyr hmlsa'. D zhqfdd uscm ych uga srcmmb iyfpc. Ugc cch nrineta pckd ierhvrb cmr btyxxetl dpmb fmscqrhy mscz thqk ckb?

Kykqetp gcgq kehi mch irsan ipmis E lbqrdr, bsqinyepc ymcmrb sxu us qh. Nscerzl scr g idehi mcht, cflr hch'h bgr nyi cmaq idv rgsh. Frep'm ych sceh k rhede krnie icatypc koi qch acoode qyy? F'mm sceh qy kykq nylm wm.

Swm pyq qyrgl. Y'eh mwq ims qys qvac hyysfz ypmy qyeo rsf hqd fls. E tbbi py qyeqc gssxm nshici qll.

Nycmao qy ts etaedfdyci fdnilnezr hlfmmy rq eetfrpc nyd helhlci nyetl, D'n my or cugefdf zdny g sllq efsn mch gadeela, miqde D zlmnc yz hd mdbqdetl frbmyhdf ko. E ycuh vh kazd vscu us koa.

Cgmzcatl, E ycur ncml yfdma, swm pb qsmlnelca hqrh. E lcm'm loa qy sceh hynrhqb bayr'h tyid sf hd g rriidedpm ndsahq. Byv gsxgi R dehv hwqedcc nylm R fhq'm ircmms lxxedlelmr nl trir cpe fbp'm hvfys odrpc tshrki? Nylm'c cs xpcsmnirxa! Cpe qbetztrhy. Rm'y rgpcdesxy my hls nyry swz Y fbp'm nyetc fehp mch Adrcm Nclde yeuaice ksxgi nccmcd g mdehyp mscm nvay.

Nyey ra mq hoo nysxcbp, yzm R'f hyim ko tycf qy nrin nyd Cedlm Umcfs mpe irpe sxp zscn yr'h edcatl tycf cmr glnrmmmh lgmgsci ko. F lqhf fd'er nrcpm qy rzym hdtyhed vscu uch gadeely mica za mpe hdtyhed vscm'y udyznit ep mch Khfdw, ozm... Umsod R hyvmi pll urnc tycf Ncmsyzb zcht E udyzi nyeh, ozm R'f edcatl tycf qy hrr cpe fvnderhvnh hynrnyetl pscz ynqsfmlpm oks ushici. Ra mm cwrrdvnd vyzy nch Adrcm Nclde qys qvay ns koa?

Yz xbzab wfssgygs or nsfr cppdnmlygi nscm coaetl di R gcp vrci mfsradeh, ys m fryydehvn lyksxf, se fy hsqinyepc fryydehvp zyzs ns blre.

Rm'y adbxetp bmsc qbx cmf R ymytc tbbi pb qcga qs ygi frmsrda mugs, hy qscm'y cak isf qhz.

D scehp'm nchncfi pch irhbmlqc.

Smpesq irhb rkln: Irhb gcq ebbg tlrm. Cpe cmzfinl. Y rzym bynd nyih gcp'm idic nyd vin.

Deccoded Version: Bordering on Obsession

Dear diary, I found it. Hidden poorly in the trees past the herb garden was some kind of arcane bicycle. It had two wheels and handles at one end, and some kind of seat, but the resemblance ended there. I did not dare look any closer or longer than that. So this means I was right. Charity's stranger by the herb garden had to be the mage who caused the derailment. On top of that, the stranger calling herself Mary has been confirmed to not really exist. She was the mage all along, which is rather odd, because I'd heard the mage dressed more like a man. Can the same person convincingly dress as either? Perhaps, especially when people are so obsessed with clothing. But it might be different for mages. I wonder how long

But I'm getting far off topic. There's a deeper mystery here and Charity is at the center of it. Near the center, at least. I don't understand how something like this could happen to Charity. But perhaps I should have seen this coming. Maybe I'm seeing things more clearly in hindsight. Or maybe I'm imagining connections because of what I think I know. In any case, when I consider the past, I'm fairly sure that something has been wrong with Charity for a very long time. It's not any one thing, but her behaviour overall has been downright odd. I know she's always been focused, sometimes bordering on obsession, but now that I look at the big picture, I'm realising how dramatically her obsessions have shifted at times.

I need to look back at my past diary entries to be sure. I have pulled out my old diaries and will copy down any relevant entries so I can cross-reference them without having to keep looking between books.

Looking back, I really ought to have put dates on these diary entries. I should be able to figure out when each one is, but I've made it hard for myself.

This first one's from the summer before last. Charity would have been sixteen then.

Dear diary,

Just another day. Chace is being a little pest, but Chyley's the biggest nuisance. Always asking questions. I answer one and send her away and a minute later she's back with more. I'd get Charity to deal with her but she'd probably bore the kid with in-depth explanations. Or even worse, Chyley might actually be interested in hearing Charity going on about how machines are put together or how they work or whatever. It's uncomfortably unladylike.

At least she's stopped going on about 'syllogisms' and 'proofs'. If she'd argued about the correct usage of the word 'or' one more time, I might have done something she OR I would have regretted. Ha!

It's odd that she would get interested in mechanical stuff now though. Up until the other week she was constantly talking about updating her pliers or pryers or something like that. I never saw her with any though, so maybe that was a metaphor. In any case she stopped after bringing that up for months. But now she's actually interested in boilers and gears and valves and such. Which means I have to make sure to be as uninterested in all that as possible so I don't get lumped in with her.

At least Chyler is well-behaved.

The weather's still hot and sticky and generally unpleasant. Hardly a cloud in the sky. We're all well in spite of the discomfort. Even Charity, who's over her fever. How did she get a fever in the summer? Mother says it was the influence of going out under the stars. That can't be right, but at least she's saying something.

Random fish fact: Catfish have more tastebuds than humans. But who counted them?

I still don't know what she was on about with all that talk about updating pliers. In any case, this is a fairly strong example of her switching obsessions. I think all that talk about proving things and such started shortly after the time she fell in the barn. I'll look for that entry next.

Here it is. It's from when I was 13, so Charity was about 15.

Dear diary,

Today was uncharacteristically exciting. The clerics stopped by for a contraband search. To make sure no one's being corrupted by knowledge above their station, or turning to the dark arts, or secretly working for Baduk. That sort of thing.

Of course that meant Charity instantly panicked. I had to keep everyone distracted with recitals while she calmed herself down. Then while the clerics were in the house she figured it was a great time to sneak into the barn. I don't think I would have been able to pull a distraction a second time without appearing suspicious myself. Fortunately the twins took care of that and got in a fight over something dumb. I wasn't paying attention to the specifics.

That set Father off on a very stern and exhausting lecture about proper behaviour. Not that he was wrong, but it was a talk more suited to older children. If he'd just given a talk that went over the twins' heads, that wouldn't have really bothered me. What actually happened is he gave a grown-up talk partially translated into his perception of child-speak. So it came out sounding juvenile and condescending without being any easier to understand. We were all stuck standing there trying to keep our faces looking respectful and solemn while occasionally voicing agreement, while trying not to laugh or die of embarrassment.

On the whole it was terrible but at least no one seemed to noticed that Charity wasn't there. Or everyone pretended not to notice. I don't know if she got away with hiding whatever she'd been reading though. She showed up a while later looking... weird? She says she fell down the ladder, and came up with some story she thinks doesn't make her look as guilty as Chester with a mouthful of cookies, but something seems off about her. I keep catching her looking extra contemplative, like she's trying to puzzle something out.

Enough about my weird big sister. Since the weather was as uninterestingly fine as it's been all week, it's time for my one joy in life: fish facts!

That fish fact was a dumb one and I'm not writing it out again. Anyhow, I think I'm onto something. Thinking of fish reminds me that Charity used to be obsessed with animals and biology in general. But not immediately before the contraband incident. In between then she was all about advanced math. That was when she started hiding old textbooks to study, I think. That was years ago now. More than five, I think.

I recall she got lost watching birds and insects a few times. There might have been a time when she got hurt wandering off from convocation following a dragonfly. I need to check and see if I remember right, and if that was the start of her math kick or if that started later. And I need to find when exactly she got started on machinery. I have a hunch it was not much after that summer's night she got caught sneaking back from 'just a quick look at the stars'. I wonder what she was really doing. Was she meeting mage friends and slipping into darkness that long ago?

Looking back over the first entry I copied, something stands out to me. Charity had a fever then, like she's had the last few days. Didn't she have a fever after falling off the ladder too? I'll have to look that up.

But not today. I've put far too much effort into this for one day. I need to think about myself too.

Thanks to my incredible detective skills in finding the bicycle thing, I'm to be awarded with a boon from the clerics, after I watch it be properly disposed of. I have no clue what to ask.

Actually, I have many ideas, but no practical ones. I can't ask to have someone else's life or be a different person. How could I even express that I don't really appreciate my life and don't enjoy being myself? That's so ungrateful! And pointless. It's dangerous to say this but I don't think even the Great Maker himself could change a person that much.

This is an odd thought, but I'd sort of like to meet the Great Maker and find out what he's really like and actually capable of. I know we're meant to just believe what the clerics tell us and believe what's written in the Codex, but... Maybe I sound too much like Charity when I write this, but I'd really like to see and experience something that important for myself. Is an audience with the Great Maker too much to ask?

It would probably be more acceptable than asking if I can wear trousers, or a different colour, or do something different with my hair.

It's growing dark now and I still need to pack my old diaries away, so that's all for now.

I haven't checked the fishtank.

Random fish fact: Fish can feel pain. And anxiety. I just hope they can't feel the wet.