I was still alive, thankfully.

The headless monster dropped it's cup of tea to lunge at me in the blink of an eye. I tried to sidestep, but it was far too quick, faster than anything I've encountered so far and I was caught off guard.

It had tackled me, sending me to the wall right beside the exit to the room. Fucker hit harder than a defensive lineman in the NFL. I'm actually glad that I brought my combat armor with me.

Quetzalcoatl's Combat Armor - S Ranked Gear

15% reduction to all damage, -2 to DEX

Enchantment(s): Divine Runes: Extremely high durability

Description: Crafted by the Goddess, this armor boasts one of the greatest protection/weight ratio. Lightweight, and any damage to your body and arms are softened by a strong, unknown, material padding the arms, chest, and stomach.

"AGH!"

Damn. I could hear the stone crack as it slammed me on it. I whipped out my gun as it's arms were wrapped around me.

The only thing keeping me from getting my ribs crushed like as if they were paper was my high CON, and the protection from the body armor, making my body as hard as iron. But it seems that this monster didn't care. It didn't seem like it even mean to crush me, just to tackle me into the wall. However, it's grip was so unbelievably strong I could feel myself suffocating. A normal human probably would've been split in half by the immense pressure.

You have impacted on a hard surface! 1,529 damage taken!

You are being crushed under immense pressure! 14,364 damage taken!

You are being crushed under immense pressure! Ribs are beginning to fracture! 15,612 damage taken!

Internal damage! Losing 5/HP per second.

I didn't need a fancy fucking blue box to tell me that.

Unloading a round into the monsters stump caused it great amounts of damage, so much so it let me go from the pain. I managed to come out of the bear hug with fractured ribs, thankfully. I probably would be dead if that kept up a second more.

You have pierced an enemy in a vital area! 43,687 damage dealt! -1 MP.

You have pierced an enemy in a vital area! 45,212 damage dealt! -1 MP.

You have pierced an enemy in a vital area! 41,766 damage dealt! -1 MP.

It shrieked in pain, grabbing on to it's throat that I embedded with lead. This is the first real fight I've had in a week, and the closest anything has come to killing me.

I pushed forward, despite my instincts warning me not to go near a monster capable of crushing stone with ease. This would've been better if I had my rifle, but I knew firing that in the somewhat narrow hallways, and low ceilings less than 15 feet tall would be more of a burden than a help, regardless of its amazing firerate.

While it was incapacitated, I wrapped myself around it's back, clinging on to it and focused on maiming the hostile as much as I could. Screaming in anger, it tried to get me off of it's back by reaching for me as it shook madly. I responded by latching on to the neck, pressing the muzzle of my Colt onto its leathery back, and fired.

You have pierced the enemy. 2,477 damage dealt! -1 MP.

You have pierced the enemy. 20,096 damage dealt! -1 MP.

You have pierced the enemy. 15,871 damage dealt! -1 MP.

You have pierced the enemy. 13,172 damage dealt! -1 MP.

You have pierced the enemy. 8,596 damage dealt! -1 MP.

"SCREEEEEEEEE!"

That had to have an effect. Almost all my bullets have pierced the guy to the point I could see through him.

The monster backpedalled, running us both into the wall. Yet again, the stone cracked under the sheer force when I was slammed into it. I was squished between a monster and a wall. I nearly dropped my gun, but I knew that if I did, I might as well kiss my ass goodbye.

You have impacted upon a hard surface! 4,380 damage dealt! You have received status debuff: Dazed (-30% to DEX and blurry vision)

It managed to throw me off its back, letting me land clumsily approximately 6 feet away from the headless ballsack. My gun was a foot behind me.

"Holy fuck." I was panting. This battle barely lasted 3 minutes and I'm half dead. "You're really fucking tough aren't you?"

With a good look at the monster, I could tell it was just as hurt as I am. Probably more. Solid pointed bullets are much more inclined to penetrate much farther than hollow point bullets could.

Level 1056 Greater Eldritch Abomination, Y'golonac

Title: Dungeon Boss (50% increase to CON), Legendary Monster (10% increase to all stats, x1.5 growth when slaying heroes)

HP: 96435/304100

MP: 220/220 ( 5.5 MP regen/min)

STATS

STR-1621

DEX-231

CON-3041

INT-55

WIS-22

CHA-4

Despite being peppered with holes, and the damage taken from my bullets combined with my Eldritch Slayer damage bonus, it still has a crazy amount of health left. Only 20 thousand less than what I'd have at full. It was wheezing, but still ready to strike despite bleeding from newly made holes all across it's body. Far faster than I expected any monster 11 feet tall to be, took shots that would've killed any lesser monster twice over, and strong enough to crush stone in it's grip with ease.

Only a couple rounds and he should be down. I need to stay away as far as possible. One more hit and I'm done for. At this distance, I can probably shoot 4 more times before he can close this distance. It'd take a prayer and a critical hit to ensure I come out fo this alive.

Okay, let's do thi-

"HALT!"

An orb shimmered into existence. Lightning blue, and glowing a blue light as it floated between us. The monster was kneeling, bowing it's head to the mystery sphere. I was on guard. My gun was aimed at the new being in an instant. I was having trouble breathing.

"Y'golonac, this human is not an enemy...Ctulhu is spreading the word throughout the dungeon that hostilities with the human is to be ceased."

It gave the ball of blue energy a deep bow. The voice sounded wrong. Crackly, slightly high pitched, something I wouldn't expect on a big burly monster with mouths on its hands.

"I apologize, master. I was not aware of this." The orb seemed to bob up and down, as if nodding. What the fuck?

It looked at me. I dont' know how, since it was just staying in the exact same spot. I could feel it staring at me, though. Think along the lines of spidey-senses.

"I apologize for this happening mere minutes into our negotiated treaty. This was my mistake." The blue ball's voice sounded high pitched, like a prepubescent boy, combined with the sound when you speak into a fan. Robotic, but fluid enough to sound human at the same time. This must've been the dungeon core.

I shrugged. "As long as he doesn't attack me again, I don't care." I'm nearly dead, and my excitement for dungeon diving has dropped down to 0. I just wanna go back home and have a nice cup of tea, and go to sleep.

The dungeon core stared at me, and nodded slightly. "Here, take this. As proof of our cooperation....and compensation." The ball of energy began to glow slightly for only a second.

A audible 'pop' was heard as a fancy red potion dropped into my hands, catching it on instinct.

Elixir of Healing- S Ranked Item

Heals 40% of HP

Description: A high class healing item, it's very expensive, requires rare ingredients and a master alchemist to create. Does NOT regenerate lost limbs or cure diseases, contrary to popular opinion.

The potion was made out of crystal glass, with a cork sealing away a red liquid within. I nodded in thanks, and gulped it down.

The bruises I received were beginning to fade. I felt myself able to breathe easier, although I still had some trouble. My ribs, which were a good hit away from breaking, mended back together. I still felt slightly sore, but I am in a much better condition than I was seconds ago. That's super convenient.

Status debuff: Internal Bleeding, has been healed!

"Now that this predicament has been solved, I'll leave you two to your own devices. Farewell." The blue ball of energy popped out of existence, the ethereal light covering the room now gone. I felt much better. Being on the brink of death did not bode well for my mood.

Level 415 Human, Andrew Lee

Title: Hitman (5% increase to DEX, More damage dealt in sneak attacks), Underdog (5% increase to all stats when facing enemies 25 levels above you), Eldritch Hunter (10% increased damage to all Eldritch beings)

HP: 25219/44500

MP: 1012/1020 (10.5 MP regen/min)

STATS

STR-447

DEX-477

CON-445

INT-105

WIS-102

CHA-468

Available stat points: 2100

STATUS EFFECTS

Quetzalcoatl's Greater Blessing- 15% increase to all stats, ability to allocate stat points (Permanent)

I was sitting there, dumbfounded. The 11 foot tall monster rose from it's kneeling position. It's body was facing towards me, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly.

"So, uh... Tea? I have earl grey."

"Oh. Thanks."

It was quite therapeutic, having tea with someone. Discounting for the fact they just tried to kill me. Or the fact that I was having tea with a wrinkly ballsack monster with no head.

Have I mentioned how good the tea was? Because it was quite good, really. A nice, citrus aroma with a strong flavor. I wasn't exactly a conoisseur, but it was better quality than the instant ones I'd make myself occasionally back on Earth.

Y'golonac, the headless monster who was responsible for being the last line of defense and the final boss of the dungeon, was sitting across me, having a similar cup of tea. It was odd, because while we talked, he'd pour the scalding tea down his stump and use his hands to communicate at the same time.

"Enough about me, though. What could have possibly driven you to stay here in the dungeon? I know for humans, a dungeon isn't the most hospitable of places."

I thought about what he said. Why did I stay here? It certainly wasn't for the peace.

"Well, it's basically free to live here. Not the safest, but I doubt anything short of a group of you could kill me. Quetzalcoatl managed to make me a room here," Through exploiting her guilty conscience and milking her of favours. "and I thought it'd be a shame to waste it."

"Ah, so it's true? You're a human that managed to curry the Goddess' favour?"

I nodded as I sipped the tea. "Mhmm."

"Fascinating. May I ask how you gained her attention? She was a kind deity, but certainly not the type to pay attention to a specific being."

I internally debated as to whether or not I should tell it about me being from another world. It could bite me in the ass, but how?

Eh, what's the harm. Fuck it. Not like it'll tattle to anyone important.

"The Goddess ripped a hole from another world, and I fell through here. So I'm probably trapped in this world, maybe forever."

It was pretty funny, seeing a small fountain of tea rise up from the stump of his. Was this the way headless monsters choked on their tea?

It was sputtering, and I gave it a napkin lying on the table. Muttering a word of thanks, he wiped his neck.

"You seem to be..taking this well, for someone in another world. I understand humans have people they treasure. Do you not miss anybody from your home world?"

I grew somber at that. There really wasn't anybody I missed much from Earth. Killing somewhat desensitized me, and I couldn't really form any meaningful connections when I was pulled out of highschool to become a hitman. Since I was 15, it's been killing, learning from Agent Romanoff, or keeping myself distracted with books, games or movies. Friends didn't really happen as a hitman, especially for someone who was half the age of the average person in my profession. I've had to act as friends towards targets or friends of targets, or the friends of the friend of a target, or even seduce others, but nothing felt genuine. Not when I knew I was going to kill them. Most of my personality came from imitating the personalities of those comic book heroes. Snarky and sarcastic. I didn't exactly have the best role models, and I recognized that a long time ago.

I was morbidly proud of my 100% success rate regarding assassinations.

Agent Romanoff, who, unlike the one in the Avengers, was not a hot red haired lady. Unfortunately, it was this grizzly old man that looked more like Wolverine. A mentor, and an acquaintance of sorts. Easily in his 40s when he started training me in the arts of killing. A certified killer. Skilled in the arts of muay-thai and brazillian jiu-jitsu. Capable of shooting moving targets from 50 feet away with a pistol, and a smooth actor. Also one of the biggest dickheads ever. A regular contract with my dad, who was Charles Moretti, he retired and was offered security in exchange for teaching me.

First thing he did was kick me in the ribs. And everywhere else. But he was a fine teacher. He taught me how to defend myself and kill others all in a span of 12 months.

A way of desensitizing me was forcing me to raise a rabbit during our training, and forced me to kill and skin it after a year, letting me get attached to it.

Not the nicest, but it did the job. Made sure I didn't freeze up when I finally got a target's trust and killed 'em.

Even as I grew under his tutelage and his physical abilities began to decline, he'd still kick my ass anyday of the week. Perhaps now, I would be able to beat him. I respected him. He ackowldeged by skills after I managed to take out 14 people by myself and taking only one bullet to my forarm, but he still had a scathing remark after that.

"I could've taken these guys out using only a knife and some wire. With all my fingers broken."

So he was still a dickhead. Not a friend, but certainly not an enemy.

But it's all in the past now. I'm in a new world, a fresh start, of sorts. A world where I can just chill, shoot stuff, and watch basketball. No dad that needs me to kill any rivals, or to threaten that dude running the hot dog stand because he looked at him funny. I was free.

I shook my head.

"No, not really."

He looked at me. Despite having no eyes. Or a face. Or a head.

"I see."

I don't think he could, even if he tried.

"You know, I've been meaning to ask. How do you see when you don't have eyes? Or a head, for that matter. In fact, how do you even hear?"

He paused. Taking my question in.

"I don't know. Perhaps magic?" The 11 foot monster shrugged. I sighed. Guess I'll never know the answer to that.

"It's been a long day. I'm going back to my room now. See you...Ye-golnak? Yeejolcac? How do I say your name?'

He perked up. "Oh, it's pronounced Y̆ͨ́̃̉͌ͬͪ҉̻̤̝̀̀̕'̡̡̩͓̤͓̣͉̞̥̤̘̭̮̜̜̮̘̜͕̓̒̎̈̈͂͆̋͜͞ģ̡̝̭̤̜̖̘͓̬͙͖͙̜̮̻͖͈͚̹̿͂̔̊̍͑̌͊̿ͭ̀ͯ͛͜͞ǫ̵̩̹̲͈̟̺̗̥̯ͯͧ̓ͪ̂̍ͫ̐̔̈́̽̒̋̚̕ľ̶̷̾ͦ̓ͪͨ̏͐̎ͪ́̋̍ͥͮͬ̀̒̎̕͏͎̫̹͖̠̮̥̮̳͇͎̬̤̳̻̘o̶̵̘̩͎͓̯͔͙̺͓͉̓̀͂ͮ̅̂̇̏̂͗̎͛ͫ̋ͦ̔̑͛̕ͅn̷͍̦̭͈̰͈̺̰̞̜̝̞̩̯͎̭̣͂̋ͨ́ả̢̻̥̠͍͚͚̣͕̙͋ͬ̿ͦ̇́̎̈́̿ͦ̀̕͘͟͢ͅc̸̛̈ͫ̍͆̐̈́́͟҉̘̦͔̮͎͓͎͚̹̬͖̘̳̖̞̩͇"

...

Whatever he said. It gave me a headache. I feel like if I say that, my furniture's gonna start floating or some shit. I sighed. This world is starting to get to me.

"I can't pronounce that. I'll call you..Headless. Okay?" Wow. Real original, Andrew.

He huffed in exasperation. "Fine. Farewell, hero."

"The name's Andrew."

I walked, turning through the hallways. It was quite easy to memorize things once I upgraded by INT to 100. The hallways were fairly easy to travel through, no traps, no monsters, no anything. It was more of an empty rabbit warren, really. Plain and with no traps (other than the ones I set up myself.)

I reached the pathway that finally led to my room. I couldn't wait to just sit back and relax, watch some TV and fall asleep.

I opened the door.

Only to see people rummaging through my room.

MY room.

They heard me open the door, and stared at me.

"May I ask why you're looking around my room? Either way, you're going to get your skulls cracked." I asked coldly. Fucking hate thieves. Good thing I hid my rifle underneath the bed, or this could've turned bloody.

The toughest looking of them, a tall man wearing a bandana strutted towards me, a cocky smirk and a broadsword in his hand. Easily a foot taller than me, he was bulky and looked very dirty.

Level 81 Human, Hugo Thornwell

"Now, you can't boss me around like that. You can either watch us take your shit, or let me stab you into fucking pieces. You're not gonna do shit against us when I'm-" His words died in his mouth, probably seeing my level.

You have pierced an enemy in a fatal spot! 65,211 damage dealt!

I blew his brains out, splattering it on the table behind him as what was left of his skull gushed out blood. That's going to take a while to clean up. Gross. I really shouldn't have done that.

The other 3 bandits picked up their weapons, ready for combat. I'll handicap myself, I wont splatter them across the room so that I don't get blood anywhere else. I pocketed my gun.

I have a better idea.

I opened the door, and yelled as loud as I could.

"OI! I got free food for you all! Think of it as a sign of our friendship!" I grabbed ahold of the carcass strewn across my table, and swung it deep inside the hallway.

They lunged for me. The first one tried to pierce me through my stomach, but I twisted away and let him over extend, grabbing the hilt of his sword in one hand, and his hip on the other, and launched him into the hallway, easily 20 feet inside. The second bandit was already on me, dagger in hand as he latched on to my back. The serrated steel aimed at my throat, I caught it in one hand, and then flipping him over, dislocating his arm in the process. Crying out in pain, I grabbed him by his leg, and threw him in the pathway to the rest of the dungeon along with his buddy.

You have dislocated an enemy's arm! 857 damage dealt!

The third and final bandit, knowing he's outmatched, began to turn tail and run, dropping his short sword as he abandoned his friends. I caught up to him in a single leap, clearing the 10 feet of space between us in the blink of an eye.

I'll use my less lethal gun for this guy. I yanked the glock out of the hidden pocket inside my pants.

Glock - Standard B Ranked Weapon

Deals piercing damage.

Enchantment(s): N/A

Description: A firearm from Earth. Standard issue. Short recoil, reliable, and easy to use.

I shot him in the thigh, using my non magical glock, and dragged him to the pathway with the rest of this rag tag group, leaving a trail of blood. I tossed him in, a little closer to about 10 feet away from the door as he lay there in a broken heap. His friends were walking closer to the door, and I waved as I slammed the door as hard as I could.

You have pierced an enemy! 1,210 damage dealt!

10 seconds passed, and I could hear the footsteps of new arrivals through the door. The bandits grew closer, and I could hear their breathing grow more frantic.

"What in the-? Are those humans?"

"Yeah. You think boss is gonna get mad if we eat them?"

The yelling began to start, curses as one of them tried to open the door. Unfortunately I was standing there, blocking them with my foot.

"FUCK!FUCK!FUCK! HURRY AND OPEN THE DO-AGH!"

"Probably not."

I could hear screaming, and a gross ripping sound as I presumed one of the bandits fell prey to the abominations within.

Banging on the door appeared, and more frantic steps.

"AH! AHHHH!"

snap, crunch, crack

The banging on the door grew louder, and pleas of help from the lone bandit were pitiful and pathetic.

I couldn't take it anymore. This was far too much.

"HEY!"

I opened the door, revealing the bandit who's arm I dislocated, cradling his arm, looking at me with a sense of false hope. Behind him, were the entrails of his comrades and two eldritch abominations who heeded my call. A large, yellowish, beefy creature with a snail for a head and a set of jagged, sharp jaws across it's neck. Numerous horns erupted from it's sides and gorrila-like arms as it stared at me, like a deer caught in the headlights. The other, was a gaunt, twisted humanoid with long claws soaked in blood and haunting green eyes that looked at me in slight apprehension. They lay mere feet behind the bandit as they snacked on the carcasses. The bandit was reaching for the door, looking to escape. I grabbed him by the back of his shirt, and slid him right back inside.

"Hello?! You mind taking this guy too? He's annoying as fuck!"

The light in his eyes died, as I kicked him square in the sternum, right into the waiting hands of the thin monster.

I shut the door, letting out a small breath.

Being a hitman did instill some ruthlessness and cruelty in me, it seems.

"nooOO! AHH! AHHHHH-grghk!" A loud squelching noise was heard. Silence, and then soft chewing noises and slurps were audible.

Now, time to deal with all the blood....

"Thanks for the food, bossman! You aren't so bad, after all!"

"I appreciate the meal. I haven't had one in a couple months. I will remember this, human."

"Yep, no problem. If I find someone I don't like, I'll just toss 'em in one of the three hallways here." I get rid of annoying people and I make the monsters inside happy. A win-win situation for everbody.

I waited until I could no longer hear their footsteps. Then I let my guard down and let out a long sigh. Something I've been doing a lot today.

"How the hell am I gonna get this blood off my table?"

Guess I'll get some bleach from the nearby kingdom. A mop, some paper towels, and a spray bottle would be needed, too.

..I hope they have bleach. Has this world even begun producing it yet?

Another sigh escaped my lips. This was gonna take awhile. I stuck my glock back in the hidden pocket within my pants.

This was another aspect of being a hitman I didn't like; cleaning up after the job.