We headed out at first light the next morning. Our destination was Bettyford and we were all happy to be leaving the big city. I had always preferred country living and being near the great outdoors so the smaller towns were where I was most comfortable.

As soon as we got to the tree line I called out for Pips and he came running. He face-hugged me and then Barry and then sat on Barry's shoulder as we traveled. Barry looked so much happier than he did when he was a hired brute for an evil guy. The fact that he was a part of my party and a friend was enough of a reason for me to smile.

He reminded me to focus on the good and give people the benefit of the doubt. I was also glad to have the Sleepytime Sleeve for occasions when death could be avoided. I knew at this point that this was real to a certain extent, but also kind of like a simulated world. The thoughts, feelings, connections, and such were all real enough, and killing humans was not something I wanted to make a habit of even in a game-type world.

As we walked along I thought through all of the guilt I had felt with every recollection and reminder of Paige. I had made a choice that left her all alone. I didn't think she would try to get remarried as she really hadn't been all that keen on the idea before she met me. She was content with a quiet life of working in a library and helping people find knowledge and adventure through the written word. That was her dream and she didn't need a spouse to complete it. I tried not to think of her remarrying as it just made me feel selfish and jealous.

Maybe I did just need to forgive myself for the choice I made. I thought back to the two scenarios and remembered that I wouldn't change saving that kid even if I could go back. I didn't think Paige would want me to either. Why was forgiving myself so hard then? I should be the easiest person for me to forgive even just out of pure self-preservation. We continued walking as I was internally struggling to find my mental next step to forgiveness.

"You look lost in your own thoughts. Mind if I chat with you as we travel? It can make the time pass easier," said Mina as she matched my pace and walked beside me. The others we all about fifteen feet in front of us and I believe it to be on purpose although I wasn't sure whose idea it had been.

"Yeah, that's fine," I answered.

"I heard your story from Jen. I think it was very good of you to bring her back to us. You've been through a lot. How are you holding up?" She had such a tender, motherly way of speaking. I hardly knew her but felt comfortable talking to her about my problem.

"I made a life or death decision that separated me from my spouse and I am having a difficult time forgiving myself for my actions," I said.

"Would she have wanted you to make a different choice?" She asked.

"I don't believe so. I replayed the moment and was able to see both options play out before me and I think she would agree that I did the right thing," I answered.

"Then why do you doubt yourself?"

"I think that I am just having difficulty living with the consequences of my actions since it affected her so much. I changed the course of the rest of our lives," I said starting to feel a tear welling up and the too-familiar pangs of guilt. "I thought saving Jen would make me feel better somehow, but it didn't change anything. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I helped her, and I would do it again."

"I'm glad to hear that, Theodore, and I am so grateful for what you have done to help our family." I glanced over and she went from smiling to sadness. "It pains me to see you struggling with the guilt of something that you could be free from. Especially when you've done nothing wrong. It is only your perception of the choice that has made it wrong."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"You admit that you believe that both you and your wife think you made the right decision. You and she wouldn't go back and change anything. That means that the inverse is true. It wouldn't be the right choice to go back and change it. You are living in a prison of your own design. The key is in your hand but you refuse to use it for fear of some alternate better choice that doesn't exist." She reached over and set it her hand gently on my shoulder. "Forgiving yourself won't change the past, but it can wash away the stain of guilt and free you from the shackles that are holding you back from having peace."

I knew she was right and I knew I had to forgive myself. I wouldn't change anything and Paige wouldn't change anything. Why am I so focused on some other better option in the past that doesn't even exist?

We walked along for a while longer in silence. I think she somehow knew I was internally processing again but she also was available if I needed something.

"How would you handle making the right choice that had unfortunate consequences that you had to deal with? Like something that would take Roderic away from you?" I asked the motherly woman.

She pondered for a moment and then answered. "I would focus on all the good times we had together and know that I will see him again someday. Love is stronger than death and hope is more powerful than all of the guilt one face. I hope you find your peace." She gave me a warm smile with just a hint of sadness in her eyes and then rejoined her husband toward the front of the group. I could see why she and Roderic were such a power couple. They had the sort of wisdom and care that people need more of. Bettyford would be in fine hands.

I was once again walking alone and deep in thought. This time was different though. I was thinking not about all the time we had lost, but all the time we had shared. My memories of Paige and the time we had together were more precious than anything. I found hope in thinking of those moments and hope that we would be together again someday.

Hope was how I could forgive myself and I did. I changed my perspective and I was no longer stuck in that prison of past regrets. I had a new hope and it was worth fighting for. I would see her again if I had to die a thousand times in this strange place. I adopted a smile and caught up with the rest of the group.

"Who's excited to get home?" I asked the group. "I want to pet my lion and hug my bear." Only Jen knew I wasn't speaking in foreign colloquialisms and only she knew that I was being literal in my statement. I was glad that at least one of them didn't think I was crazy. I said what I said though and I meant it.

We made it to Bettyford after traveling for a couple of days. We hadn't been moving quite as fast as Barry and I had been, but it was a fairly easy journey nonetheless. We took up residence in the town hall building and Jen's parents were able to personally speak to each resident to give them an update and a job.

The next morning the town was bustling with people who were excited to be living a life that was relatively free from fear. The market was open even if it was fairly barren and people were beginning to ply their trades again. Kids played in the streets and life was good again. I was ready to head back to Roseglen and give Shamus and Nina an update. I was even more excited to see my animals though truth be told. I would leave in the morning but for now, wanted to enjoy the town that had been reinvigorated. Everyone was happy again and I felt good for the part I had played.

We had a celebratory meal that evening and shared in storytelling and laughter. I knew about the pirate threat to the North and the looming giant in the West, but all that seemed to be a million miles away.

I asked Barry if he wanted to come with me to Roseglen or stay in Bettyford and become a resident. Roderic had cleared it beforehand so the choice was his and his destiny was in his own hands which was rare for him. It didn't take long for him to decide to join my party and travel South. We set out in the morning after many tears and goodbyes. I told them we would stop by on our way to the North Sea for the next part of our journey, but it didn't make the parting any less somber. I had really enjoyed my time with Jen, but her place was with her family and she was happy and safe.

It took us a couple of days to reach Roseglen at our accelerated pace. We didn't see any enemies which made me even more hopeful for the trade routes and their safety. I guess we had taken care of most of the threats between the three cities, but I kept an eye out anyway. I had gotten very tired of being stabbed and shot early on, as one does, and was grateful for the easy travel.

I was greeted in Roseglen by a very large bear and mountain lion that really freaked out Barry when they ran up to us. I had to tell him it was all right for them to cuddle me. I didn't blame him since it probably looked like I was being attacked by the animal duo. Next to come out to meet us were Shamus and Nina. We walked with them back into the fully repaired town as I hit the main points of the story so far. We would need to go into more detail but for now, we could just cover the good news.

I started to talk about the trade routes being restored and the good relationship the three cities could have for the benefit of all. I could tell that he was excited but had a question burning deep inside.

He spoke up at the first opportunity he felt it would be appropriate to ask.

"Do you and Barry want to go fishing?"