As the blinding light surrounded me once more I could only think about one thing. I needed to save Jen and her parents and I would do whatever it takes to accomplish that goal.

The familiar voice started to speak. "Theodore Lambert Coh..."

"Can we just get to the part where I get sent back?" I asked after interrupting the man who was much more familiar to me at this point and much less frightening based on the fact that I had just cut him off.

"What makes you think you'll get sent back to try again?" The man asked. His stoic face made it hard to figure out exactly what emotion he was conveying if any.

I started to panic. I hadn't even thought that maybe I only got one redo. Did I just screw up my only afterlife mulligan?

The man could see me struggling internally and a smile started forming on his sculpted face. My eyes caught the movement and focused. He was smiling and it was such a calming and warm smile that the worry faded almost instantly.

"Were you messing with me?" I asked starting to smile and relax.

"Did it feel like I was messing with you?" He asked. I could tell he already knew the answer to his question so I switched topics.

After a brief pause, I asked the first thing that came to mind. "Why do you ask so many questions?" He diverted back to his standard blank expression.

"Does more wisdom come from thinking through the answer to a question or being told a fact?" He asked.

I thought through my answer to the question which also provided me with the answer to the question. "So you are trying to give me wisdom about my situation through all the questions?" I waited for him to respond with another question and wasn't disappointed.

"What is the most pressing question you think you need the answer for?" He asked. I couldn't really tell based on his stone-faced delivery, but I had a feeling he was really enjoying himself. I thought about his question for a little bit wanting to get the most out of our brief time together.

"How do I save Jen and her parents?" I asked still questioning my choice.

"It is admirable that you are so focused on an external matter, but you are overlooking an even greater internal matter. What have you been dealing with internally since you met Jen and she smiled at you?" He raised an eyebrow at me as he finished his question.

I thought about it for a while but something bothered me a little. How could this man know how a smile made me feel or what I've been going through internally? I continued to process what he has asked and my mind went back to that first smile and then to the intense feeling of guilt. I felt guilt for leaving Paige behind, guilt for letting Jen die, and guilt for the choice I made to save that kid that changed the trajectory of two recently intertwined lives. All our hopes and dreams died at the bottom of the Grand Canyon.

"Guilt," I said. Out of all of my processing that was the only word that came out.

"What do you think is the root of all of your guilt?" The man asked.

"I think the guilt is all stemming from the choice I made to save that kid. None of this would be happening if not for that choice. Paige and I would be in our first year of marriage, we might have had a kid at some point, and then retirement and traveling. All of that possibility was taken away in one fell swoop." I noticed my voice was raised and that I was emotional by the end of my answer.

"If you could go back and choose not to save that child, would you?" He asked flatly.

As thought about it and was really struggling. What kind of person would I be to just let that child die knowing that I chose not to act and save his life? Would that be any different than killing him myself? As I thought about the man's question I squeezed my eyes closed tight in frustration. Was I more frustrated at my indecision or the fact that I was feeling terrible for even considering having let him fall off of that cliff when I could stop it from happening?

I opened my eyes to tell the man that I didn't know what my answer would be, but he wasn't there. I realized I was now standing and looking out at a sight I had seen for the first time weeks ago. Although it felt like it had been a lifetime since I visited the wonder.

The Grand Canyon sprawled out in front of me. As my eyes and brain figured out the information in front of them I couldn't believe them. I stood there looking at a set of parents, a small toddler, and a cute couple. Then I heard the scream. It was etched in my mind and the same noise I had heard on my last visit to the canyon. The toddler was once again on the short wall and about to tumble down into the big hole. Something was different this time. The man who was standing closest to the child didn't move from his place beside his bride.

I tried to will him into action but he didn't move. I tried to run over but I was locked in place watching the terrible accident unfold in front of me. The parents and the couple ran over to the wall but it was too late. The kid had fallen in. I saw the parents holding onto each other as they wailed at the fate of their son. They crumpled to the ground still crying. The couple didn't know what to say or do and just stood there trying to support the despondent parents whose whole world had just passed into oblivion.

The tears welled in my eyes and I closed them tightly again hoping for the nightmare to end.

I opened my eyes again and the scene was reset. The same five people stood in front of me. I didn't want to watch this again. Was this my punishment? No. This time the man moved to save the toddler as he fell. He went over the edge and soon after Paige was handing the now crying child over to his parents. I saw her look over the edge and as she turned back I saw that she was the one wailing now. My heart broke as I saw the waves of sadness overtaking my once happy bride.

I shut my eyes again as they were once again filling with tears. When I opened them I saw the familiar couple and their now slightly older young son. I saw him laughing and playing. I blinked and he was a few years older. The scene was a sweet moment shared between parent and child. I could see the pride in the father's eyes and the love and appreciation in the mother's. I blinked and he was once again older this time accepting a high school diploma. Every time I blinked I saw the young man growing into an old man in fractured moments in time throughout his life.

The final scene was him laying in a hospital bed. A woman who appeared to be around his age gripped his hand. She had a tear running down her wrinkled cheek that met the corner of a sweet smile. As the solid tone from the heartbeat monitor signaled his death, he was surrounded by his wife, their children, and their children's children.

A warm happy feeling came over me as I witnessed all the love at that moment. The next time my eyes closed and reopened, I saw the man sitting across the wooden desk looking at me once again.

"If you could go back and choose not to save that child, would you?" He asked again.

My answer came quickly and with certainty. "No. I would save him."

A warm smile came to his face and he nodded proudly.

"How do you process guilt to be able to move on? He asked.

I thought for a second and gave a shrug that told him that I didn't know the answer. He asked a different question.

"When someone apologizes after wronging you, what is the thing that they are desiring more than anything else?"

I put myself in the offender's shoes and thought for a moment and answered. "Forgiveness?"

"Who do you need to forgive to be able to move to the next phase of your journey?" The man asked.

I thought about my answer to his question longer than I had previously. Then the answer hit me like a freight train. "Myself?"

He nodded and started to glow with that familiar blinding light. As everything was about to be fully engrossed in the light I heard his voice, but it was ethereal.

"Forgiveness may not be able to change the past, but it has great power to affect the future."

The light faded and I realized I was standing over the body of the massive ogre that I had killed on the trip to Bettyford. I smacked myself in the forehead with my palm and couldn't help but say it out loud.

"Dang it. I forgot to ask him how many times I could reset."