《Classroom of Doom》Volume 6 - Chapter 36: There is and will only ever be one Kuzan Takeshi.
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February 23rd.
Hello, my name is Kuzan.
I'll just be frank, I have a huge goal in life, and that is to steal whatever is rare.
Basically, whatever is worth the value or is hard to get must be mine at all costs.
But something unexpected happened. For certain reasons, I was put here in this school and I have no way of getting out of it until I graduate like a normal student. So, every day for me has been stressing me out...
"First, I got chased out by my roommates for stealing food and then I received a lecture from Aniki. Secondly, I also received some questionable punishments from Aniki and from them... Gahhhhh!!!! Why can't they just die?!"
Perhaps my anger origins from the fact that I am currently bald. Not to brag, but my black spiky wavy hair was pretty damn cool.
But now this?
What am I supposed to say when I look at the mirror anymore?!
How am I supposed to praise myself every morning for my blessed looks?!
I just can't!
.................
"Am I even going to make it? I've been getting myself into the hands of that bald principal a lot lately... I'm probably going to get expelled at this rate..."
I, Kuzan, reflected upon my situation while watching some comedy television shows on FOX.
But they all suck. Their sense of humour is seriously outdated. Simpsons isn't even watchable anymore.
It's also 7 am, and yesterday, Kawahara somehow returned all the food back to the place...
What was that all about?
"Dude's got some issues I swear..."
I don't have a strong opinion about Kawahara. He was the one who gave me this malicious bald haircut. One day, I will have my revenge.
Yet more importantly, as I continued to indulge myself into boredom, I heard a light knock onto my door.
That immediately caught my attention, thus I got up from my comfy bed sheets and checked out who was knocking.
"Who is this?"
"Kuzan, you're up?"
"Oh, Rayazaki. Come on in. It's hot in here."
Fortunately, I do have a lot of accessories and furniture to survive this horrible winter.
Of course, they are stolen.
"Thanks..."
Rayazaki closed the door lock sloppily and he was looking down on the floor a lot.
That's pretty unusual. I recall Rayazaki being very high-spirited yet he now seems to be completely different.
His blue pajamas go along with his mood.
"What happened? Is everything okay?"
Out of all the people, if I were to exclude Aniki, Rayazaki would be the person who I talk to the most. Aniki is ignoring me right now, which deeply pains me, but Rayazaki is fairly friendly in his own regard.
Despite still not looking at me in the eye, Rayazaki sat on the bed sheets ultimately.
"Dude... I'm not gonna pass the exam! I know I'm not and that's freaking me out!!!"
"Woah...!"
Suddenly, Rayazaki desperately grabbed onto my shirt's upper buttons, but I could instantly see his anxiety straight up.
"Calm down, man. I know how you are feeling! My partner isn't even good in her own area but we will get there. Sure, she's pretty annoying and whatnot, but it's a matter of persistence! You gotta try and---"
"No, no, that's not it! That's not it at all, Kuzan! She refuses to try! Hear that!? She refuses! How am I supposed to get her to cooperate!? At this rate, I will fail and then.... and then.... then.....!!! Ahhhhh!!! I'm screwed!!"
Rayazaki's seriously freaking out. This is news.
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"The penalty must be getting to you too huh? I know, I know. After all, if we don-"
Twice in a row, Rayazaki further interrupted me again.
"Kuzan, what are you blabbering about......... The penalty? Hahaha, please.... That doesn't matter. Hey. Get real, come on."
"It doesn't? Then why are you so upset, Rayazaki? I thought that you were all stressed due to the penalty that Yuka-sensei gave us yesterday."
Certainly, this is one of the main reasons as to why I'm stressed.
If I don't score positively along with my partner in this exam, then there won't be more supply exams.
That's seriously bad, oi.
What about my ambition?
I can't let it die just like that.
"Kuzan... I've told you about Hinagiku, yeah?"
"Yeah, you did. Honestly, you did it to everyone. I'm surprised no one has told anyone about it for the funs."
It's probably because it's mostly irrelevant but Aniki seemed to be fairly intrigued by it for some reason.
"T-That aside, listen to this... Right now, I'm seated next to her, right? But that can change! If I lose here, then what will happen?! I will have to change to different seats!! Different seats!! Damn it!!!"
Rayazaki is talking somewhat loud, so I wouldn't be surprised if someone took an interest in this conversation, though I doubt that the likelihood is high.
"It's just different seats, bro. You can still talk to h-"
"Noooooooo!!! It's not just different seats! Don't you get it!? If I lose then someone else will seat and be with her until the end of the year!! Someone else!! How the hell is that tolerable!?"
...........
Perhaps I failed to understand Rayazaki's point of view.
"I see... It must be you... I guess I can sympathize with that sentiment..."
"Yes, I knew you'd understand! Also, her partner is Akihiko! Hinagiku, since she's my future bride to be, is far too good for him. The fact that he dares to breathe the same air as she repels me to the absolute extreme!!"
Erm, aren't you the one who's being extreme, Rayazaki?
"But what are you going to do if Akihiko loses?"
"What do you mean?"
Has Rayazaki not caught up on this yet?
Can't be helped then...
"This upcoming exam is an exam that mostly evaluates teamwork, but not just in the physical department."
"Hm."
"What this additionally means is that a pairing can easily fail due to the weakest member."
"I see. Go on."
"Alternately, it doesn't even have to matter how physically adapt you are if your partner is just useless. Take Yukishiro for example. Even though your physical abilities are pretty good, if she doesn't cooperate or does anything at all, then what's the point?"
"..........I see, Kuzan. You make a good point."
"No, Rayazaki. I haven't made my point yet. I'm just referencing your pairing as an example."
"Is that so? Proceed then."
I would very much like to know why Rayazaki is being this bossy? Is it in his nature or something?
"If we take Hinagiku's partner, Akihiko into consideration, hypothetically speaking, should Hinagiku truly perform out of her min-"
"Kuzan, don't say such nonsense. She's capable of producing feats that equal the value of her existence!"
"Oh, okay, nice. But, um, can I go on?"
"Yes, please."
Thanks.
"As I was saying, should Hinagiku perform really well, which you can confirm she will-"
"You are correct on that, Kuzan."
"So, even if she does well if Akihiko does poorly, then it won't matter."
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"I see! You make a good logical and sound argument, Kuzan! I must get rid of Akihiko then!"
"No, please wait! Let me finish."
"Hm? Well, okay."
Am I talking to a 5-year-old child right now?
"Look, my point is actually totally partial towards Akihiko."
"Really? How come? Didn't you just say that Hinagiku might fail because of him?"
"I did mention something like that, but that's just to make you aware that a single person in a pairing has more power than the other, that being, the weakest element. Which, by the way, is Akihiko."
So far, from what I could observe, this was the most obvious point. Exorcising your all-mighty power instead of pursuing your partner into performing better is simply counterproductive.
Of course, this is assuming that you are the strongest element and not the weakest.
"I don't get it. You said this was completely partial to Akihiko, but then you mention that he is the weakest element which would then imply that he is at fault."
"Surely, that was the case. But here is my main point. It doesn't matter if you succeed or not, because if Akihiko so decides to not perform well, then Hinagiku and Akihiko will stay together as a pair for the rest of the year. You can try all you want with Yukishiro and for your own good you should, but it's a different story when---"
"No, that's unacceptable! I won't accept that! I can and must do something about it. For starters, I will convince this bitch Yukishiro to cooperate and next up, I will talk to Akihiko and give him the sweet talk. I seriously hope for his own good that he doesn't screw up this golden opportunity..."
Rayazaki's eerie smile is creepy right now.
"It doesn't work like that though. You might have control over Yukishiro since she is your partner, but Hinagiku is Akihiko's partner. This won't work and you know it..."
"But I must do something, right?!"
"Why again?"
I think I forgot the reason why Rayazaki was so worried about this in the first place.
"Because if I don't then Hinagiku will belong to someone else! I can't let that happen! I love her!"
Oh right.
The hopeless romantic.
"I think you are misunderstanding something, Rayazaki. I will admit that the likelihood of your bond between you and Hinagiku growing is quite high if you two stay together as table partners throughout the year, but you can just equally develop outside of class too. As a matter of fact, if you do show that you care for her outside class, then it might just have a better outcome for you, don't you think?"
If his aim is to truly show her that he cares for her, then I don't really think that a seat or two will make a difference...
"That's wrong Kuzan. Hear me out. I have thought this out well. So, if I show that I care about her in this scenario and that I do want to be physically close to her, then she'll start craving for me. Can you see the idea and pattern here?"
I see. I didn't think about it from that perspective.
I do have to consider that Rayazaki is high-key narcissistic.
"Yeah, okay, I get the gist of it. You're still screwed regardless if Akihiko decides to bail out on her."
"That will not happen."
As Rayazaki said those words, his eyes shone a dark crimson.
"Hey, Kuzan. Are we gonna be here all morning? What about breakfast? I'm hungry..."
"Shit, you're right. But, just so we are clear, Kawahara was the obvious culprit, right?"
"Yeah... Even though the blame fell onto Tsudo, it's pretty clear that Kawahara was the one who did it."
However, that doesn't really matter.
The food is back.
Now that matters.
10 am. P.E court.
"Begin training!"
Um, hi.
Kuzan here. This is awkward.
My partner, Sana, and Akihiko, have not returned ever since a while ago.
I know that they went to the principal's office for disobeying and being bad mannered towards Basara-sensei but this is really awkward.
You see, I really, but really want to pass the exam... Seriously, I do.
But...
I can't do anything if my partner isn't here in the first place!
Damn it! I can't let Yuka-sensei return to her office just like that!
"Sensei! Yuka-sensei!"
In the hope she would return a positive answer back, I persisted more.
"Sana isn't here! Where is she?"
"Oh, Kuzan. Aren't Sana and Akihiko still in the principal's office though?"
No way they are. It's been over an hour.
"I don't think so. But what am I supposed to do while she's out?"
"Hm... Well, since you don't have anything to do, can't you assist other pairings?"
"Sorry?"
"Yes, that would be perfect for you, Kuzan!"
Don't let her sweet smile deceive you, Kuzan. She's tricking you!
"B-But there should be a more fitting task for me...."
"No, not true! This is perfect for you Kuzan. As of right now, you are officially my side-kick. You will act as an adviser for the other pairings. In other words, you will supervise what they are doing wrong and how you can help them!"
H-Huh!?
"Y-You can't be serious! There's no way that I can--- Oi!!!! Don't turn your back on me!!! Sensei!!! Yuka-sensei!!!"
Ah, she's gone.
The moment she plugged her earphones inside her eardrums, I stopped existing.
That's really perfect. Exactly what I needed.
Damn it! I'm not cut out for situations like these! Truly, but truly, I was looking forward to training with my partner but she's missing in action and now I have to do things a side-kick is supposed to do?
"Screw that!!!"
But, as soon as I screamed those words out loud into the vast empty court, I had a brilliant idea.
It's a weird feeling, but it just quirks.
Whenever I am in a stressful situation, ideas of great importance come to mind, however, before realizing that idea...
I'm somewhat interested in the other pairings' situations.
It would be fun just to see their miserable situations and how well they don't fit in the first place.
Firstly, the closest pairings next to me are in the gymnasium or other partial fields.
Since we group here entirely as a class, in the main court, a lot of pairings departed ways from here because the equipment for training just isn't here.
Should I even make contact with them in the first place?
Let's see...
10:10 am. Volleyball field.
Something I should mention is that I'm partially quite agile whenever I want to be.
Naturally, I can climb onto high heights without much difficulty and since in this volleyball field there is a massive tree, I went behind it and climbed to the very top just to remain completely unnoticed.
Plus, the chilly weather does not make this any simple because it's hard to grasp the rustic tree with my fingertips like this.
Nevertheless, as soon as I got into the top of the tree, I hid under the small bushes that were there and observed the following situation.
"You are useless. And because of that, I will fail. Bear that in your consciousness, please."
"I told you that it's not my fault that I'm not physically adapt..."
"Susaga, you are at fault. Let's make a future prediction shall we? I will perform all the required tasks to the highest degree and we will still fail because you are just that useless."
"Akimiyashika, can you please stop calling me useless...? I am ashamed of myself, but I can't do anything about it."
"That's where you are wrong, Susaga. You see, if you kill yourself then you will be out of this exam."
"W-What?"
She's extreme, damn.
"Don't you get it? How can I participate in the upcoming exam without a partner? I can't. That's why if you stop existing, I might have a chance to get a minimally competent partner instead of a useless lump of flesh like you, Susaga."
"Why are you so rude, Akimiyashika!?"
"I'm not rude, I'm truthful. People like you can't handle the truth well, I know. But, it's not my fault, no matter how you look at it."
"I've already apologized, but I will not just suicide for the sake of your goal... That's just stupid."
"Oh, I know you won't suicide. Hence I called you useless. Because you have no utility, not even a superficial one. Therefore, useless."
"Can you quit it!? What do you gain from all of this?"
"Ah, relax. It's just a joke. You aren't entirely useless. You can always prove me wrong by doing the one thing you are capable of to turn yourself useful, just saying."
Akimiyashika has been smiling in a psychotic way thus far. Plus, she's not even facing Susaga and she's just practicing volleyball movements all alone.
This is...
It's as if Akimiyashika isn't even trying to make Susaga someone who can pass the exam but instead she's passing her time to make him realize how he can't pass the exam despite the possibility still being there.
"Fuck you... I'm not doing this..."
"Yeah, I know."
In spite of his initial retort, Akimiyashika didn't mind it at all, and in fact, returned it right back.
Ultimately, Susaga went for a walk because Akimiyashika was simply too much for him.
I can't blame him. Someone with such low intensity can't possibly rise to her heights presumably.
10:15 am. Main running platform.
At least Akimiyashika and Susaga talked to each other.
But this is...
I mean--- Do I even need to hide behind this side of the bracket?
Does it even matter if I mark my presence in this lonely territory?
Hell, they aren't even talking to one another.
To firmly describe what's happening, Kawahara is sprinting like a mad man. Normally, this is good.
Because it means that someone is actually trying.
However, there is just this lonesome figure sitting in the background, with a giant book on her tiny hands.
To make that more obvious, she even covers her whole face and buries it in the book's pages.
Who is she?
She's Gale Iris, Kawahara's partner.
More importantly, why aren't they even communicating?
What happened to Kawahara's flame earlier on?
There's so much that I don't understand.
Which means that staying here will probably amount to nothing.
10:25 am. Main Basketball court.
In order to have a far greater insight into the current situation, I climbed onto the emergency ladder and stood in the border of one of the blocks.
This was also for them to not notice me.
"Do you believe in ghosts, Tatsu? I do, I do. To tell you the truth, I think I saw one last night... Wanna hear about it?"
"No...."
"Eh? Why not though?"
"Because we are supposed to practice..."
"Oh.... right! Yeah, let's practice!"
From the start, this was bound to be an awful combination. Ikkiri is outgoing while Tatsu is reserved.
They say opposites attract but I don't see that happening right here and now.
And Tatsu seems to be puzzled by how quick Ikkiri can change her mind.
He is not accustomed to such a wild card.
"On second thought, I don't wanna. This is boring.... So boring...."
"Why do you complain so much, Ikkiri?"
"I'm just being honest. This sucks. Hey, are you good at making jokes?"
Additionally, Tatsu seems to be visibly pissed off about Ikkiri's lack of caring.
"Stop screwing around..."
"That's your joke? Buuuuuuuuuuu. 3/10. Ah, but I'll give it a 7/10 if it was sarcasm. Hey, was it sarcasm, was it?!"
"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you incapable of performing such a simple task without getting bored every ten seconds?"
"It's actually 5 seconds, Tatsu."
This is a disaster.
No point in staying here.
10:30 am. Street workout park.
I'm surprised that there is a street workout park in the middle of the school.
Noticeably, it contains a lot of pieces of equipment that are extremely versatile when it comes to physical exercise and whatnot.
Something worthy of mention is that, right here, there are 3 pairs and a single lone girl.
And furthermore, there isn't exactly a place to hide.
This is place is far too open.
With that in mind, I calmly approached the petit blue-haired girl who was day-dreaming while looking upon the cerulean sky in the middle of the winter.
Her hands were basically shaking due to the cold and she couldn't help but enlace her tender forearms inside her jersey pockets.
"Pretty damn cold, honestly..."
Hi, my name is Kuzan and I'm terrible at starting conversations.
"Oh, hey there, Kuzan. What's up?"
"Nothing much. Sana isn't back from the principal's office so I don't have much to do. What about you, Hinagiku?"
Hinagiku would repeatably form white breaths just to see her clear chilly breath upon the air.
That's cool so I did it too.
"I'm the same. Something happened, surely. Akihiko isn't back yet, so I have to wait. So I'm here watching the others train!"
From the start, I could see that. She's been looking at them for a while.
By them, I mean Tsudo and Lus, Tateyana and Ryoken, and Kan and Kanawari.
However, as obvious as it may seem to perceive, none of the pairings are in a symphony.
Speaking of pairings, where are Aniki and Yulia?
I should investigate that next, but I'm starting to get bored with this.
Well...
I wouldn't truly say that.
But maybe, just maybe, my greed for that previously mentioned idea is starting to outgrow my patience.
"Kuzan.... Sorry if this is rude, but---"
"Don't ask. It just happened."
"Ehhh...? But you don't even know what I'm going to say?"
"Trust me, I do. It's fine. You don't need to know."
Leave my shiny trophy shaved head alone, you innocent creature.
"How did you get bald, Kuzan?"
"Oi, that's rude. Don't underestimate how sentimental someone bald can be. Hair is like an emotional barrier and without it, I've become sensitive."
As soon as Hinagiku captured those words of mine, her expression became that of a child.
"I-Is that true!? Do bald people become more sensitive without hair!? Is that why senile people are often fragile, emotionally speaking?"
For the record, I meant this as a joke, but what she just said didn't seem too far from the truth.
What if that's the cause for old age depression?
"I was joking, but you might be on point, Hinagiku."
"You think so? Ah, wait... If that was a joke, then you don't have a reason to hide how you got bald, do you?"
Unfortunately, my manly pride just can't spell it out.
"My circumstances aside, I have something to talk to you."
"What? You do? That's strange. This is basically the first time we have truly talked. But I still haven't forgiven you, boys, for entering our dorm..."
Her expression just got grim.
Hey, stop it, that's not cute.
"Erm, that event aside, it concerns Rayazaki."
"Rayazaki...?"
Now that's a cute expression, filled with eyes of innocence and a playful smirk.
Thankfully, I'm far too absorbed at the moment to pay attention to the disastrous interactions of the present pairs who are just a few meters away.
"You see, Hinagiku, this could just be my gut feeling, but isn't he slightly attracted to you?"
"No way that's true..."
"Are you sure? Isn't he different now from previously?"
"Yeahhhhhhhh!!! I know, right!? He changed so much! He used to be this rude and impudent individual who would always curse and blabber badly but now he is kind and delicate and even chooses his own words carefully..."
"But why do you think he has changed though?"
"I don't really know how to answer that, Kuzan... It just happened."
I overlooked how entertaining it is to tell Hinagiku indirectly in a subtle manner that Rayazaki has a crush on him.
This is actually hilarious.
"Oh come on. You know that's not true. I think he has feelings for you and he chose to turn a new leaf because of you."
"Come on... Stop joking, hahaha."
It's been bothering me for a while but why does her voice get slightly heavy when I mention this type of stuff?
It happened earlier too. Or am I overreacting?
Maybe it's best to not pressure the subject.
"That aside, I'm going to check out on something else. Later."
"Alright, Kuzan, later!"
Pretending to go check on other pairings, I completely left the scene.
Realistically speaking, with all things considered, I'm purely grateful that Sana has given me this chance. If it wasn't for her mini-absence then I probably was stuck passing my time with her, but since that was not the case, I could finally perform the idea that came up on my mind.
Truth to be told, I am addicted to stealing.
However, rarities intrigue me the most.
If it's not rare then I don't want it.
Nevertheless, how can I know what to steal if I don't know what to find or where to find?
That's why the idea came to my mind a while ago.
There are two places to investigate and those are, both the boys and the girls' dorms.
"Now, all I need to do is to get there... But how should I make this worthwhile...?"
As I was directing myself towards the dorms, I thought of something witty and original for a change.
Something that would carve this experience into stone.
An unforgettable experience for both I, the stealer, and the person who will get stolen.
That's right.
I will pick one person and that person will have something stolen from him or her.
But, I will, by contrast, make sure that within every fiber of my own very being, the person nor anyone ever finds out about it.
My name is Kuzan Takeshi and throughout my life, whenever I wanted to steal something, I always did, no matter how hard it was.
And that has not changed now.
That sentiment of possession lives in me, for now, and forever.
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