Chapter 30: Madness

Oh my fucking God… I completely lost it there for a moment, right? Even the game recognized I was going nuts! How in the name of God are they allowed to put those things in a damned videogame? Who, just who in their right mind would go and do that?

I refuse to believe it was an intentional design. It can't be that someone decided to program those interactions. Interactions? Fuck. That is not even close to what that nightmare was.

Has the AI actually learned, somehow, what to do? And, if it did, why in the fucking hell had to know that? And how? So fucking many questions. And I have not a single answer… I should stop thinking about it…

What time is it? Huh, 6 am already? We were battling for longer than I remember… And we were utterly obliterated. We defended ourselves quite well; we even killed many of those ugly rats. Up to the point I was the last one standing, the was a good pile of enemies' corpses. And then… then I had to witness tha- Hell, there I go again.

Aah… I should go for a run… Running and some music never fails to leave my mind blank. Yeah, I'll do that! I change into sports clothes, and in less than 10 minutes I'm on the street and ready to run.

And, as far as the run goes, I succeed at not thinking about anything. One hour goes like nothing. A bit after, having done 10km, I find myself back at home. Few… I have lost some shape… I used to take less than an hour, and look at me now. An hour and fifteen minutes… Ah, maan… I have to exercise more!

Next, I go take a shower. And I'm truly set on taking way longer than usual. I can't think of another room better suited to sort my feelings out. As the open bathtub carved on the floor itself, something like a jacuzzi but built of marble and in a spoon-like shape, clearly denotes, I am proud of my bathroom.

You know, screw the shower, I'm taking a bath. While the tub is filling, I undress and take a look at myself in the mirror. Definitely lost shape. From today on, I have to do some physical activity every day. My face is pale; I scrutinize every pimple and wrinkle while making a mental effort not to think about yesterday.

Before entering the bath, I take a quick shower and soap up. Hot water makes all my pains go away; it has always worked. Before entering, I take my phone, which was resting by the side, and check the game forums. Let's see if the aftermath of the battle has made any impact.

Destruction at Dominion Total obliteration near Irisgarth Call for help at Palanthir

Ah… we weren't the only ones that got mopped then… Time to update my post.

Thank you all who came to aid us in the battle of Draka, your help won't be forgotten!

Although we lost, we managed to kill quite a few of the bastards!

Now we know their numbers, their strategies, and their strength. More than ever, we need all of you to defend the city two days from today.

The city won't fall. We will protect it!

I guess this should be enough. There is no need to tell all these people about the brutality I got to experience. I hit send and silently pray for all these people who came to Draka to also defend Irisgarth.

Well then, let's play some music. While listening to some of my favorite jazz, I try to focus on the positive things that happened during the night. For one, I seem to have discovered how to evolve classes. Does that mean that I'll be able to evolve once I log in? Or do I still have to reach that point? I bet there are still a few levels to be gained until I find that out.

The other, which I don't know what exactly implies, is that madness stat. It surely has something to do with my mental health… I'll make sure to ask Isha; maybe I'll have to get rid of it. If one had to trust their instincts, it's definitely bad news.

We didn't manage to save the town, as expected, but we definitely did a good job. I didn't level at all, but that's probably due to the number of people we were and those kobolds and mice's levels. And it was a relatively short-lived battle, let's not forget that. Ah, whatever, it was not our goal after all.

In two days… Can we do it? We have the city army and can defend from ranged attacks behind the walls. The only incognita is how they'll use their wizards. We only got to see the avalanche of arrows. If they cast that powerful spell and bring the whole city under darkness, they can wipe us in a second.

This is glory… my thoughts are interrupted when hot water caresses my skin. All tiredness and fatigue miraculously go away with the steam. I close my eyes and let my conscience fade away… This is precisely what I needed, some exhausting exercise followed by the most heaven-like relaxa-

*Ring* *Ring* Who calls me now?

"Yes?"

"Where have you been! Everybody is looking for you!" A woman's voice I take a split second to recognize asks me.

"Lillia? How do you have my number??" I dumbfoundedly stare at the wall. Did I give it to her? What happened?

"I don't! I'm calling through the DreamZ; you linked it!"

"Oh, so that's how it is!"

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?"

"I… I needed to take some time off the game." I pause, unsure what to say next. "The game also thought it." I grim and bitterly laugh.

"What do you mean? What happened?" Her voice, far from the slightly upset tone it had at the start, takes a turn and becomes a soothing and recomforting whisper.

"I don't think I'm ready to talk about it just now. Maybe later today, in person. I saw some god-forbidden scenes once everyone was dead. I…" I feel a knot forming on my throat. Images rush by my head. I contain a tear by quickly blinking my eyes.

"Are you ok?" Her voice brings me back to the conversation.

"I will; I just need some time to process it. Actually, thank you for calling. I needed this, talking with someone, you know."

"Anytime! Just say the word."

"Could you… maybe we can meet?"

"Of course we can! Come on, it's me! We have been playing together for longer than we can remember."

"I know, I know. It's just, this game feels too real." And too cruel, I add to myself.

"Yes… it can get under your skin…" I suppose she has been in great pain too. She suffered for all those villagers that didn't want to be saved.

You know those tense moments of silence where nobody says anything. That's just us now. Ah, I totally crashed the atmosphere…

"Can you excuse me with everyone?" I attempt to fill in the silence. "Something like I've been made prisoner, and they are torturing me? This way, it makes sense that I'm not at the cathedral. They'll eventually release me, and I'll come back." And also builds a little reputation which might be helpful in the future.

"Haha. Sure! Already had that in mind."

"Perfect, thank you! Then, let's meet at 8 pm?"

"It's done! And, call me if you need anything, alright?"

"Yes! Thank you!"

We both hang the call. The bath now feels different, lighter. It's not like anything has changed at all, but having someone care about you feels fantastic. In part, though, I feel guilty about sharing this burden with her.

Immersed in thoughts, my body wrinkles as the minutes pass. Today I will not work. That's settled. I'll spend the day here, browsing the forums, maybe playing some of my old gems. But definitely, no work today. Usually, my mind would struggle and force me back to work. Perhaps stunned by the events, in shock or out of combat, it lets me follow my plan all along. I go from the bath to the bed. And from there to my computer.

Finally, when it darkness again outside, I make my mind on entering the game. It's been more than 12 hours, which means both my restriction and my stasis are gone. I'll be able to go back to the city without anyone asking too many questions.

[You have met the requirements for a Class Evolution]

Again? Didn't this message already appear yesterday? Or is it another one? Maybe because I was forced out, I didn't get to see it… more questions for Isha, then.

I appear right in the middle of the town. Former town, I correct myself. Ashes can be seen everywhere. The once high bell tower is now a half-destroyed and decaying structure without any bell. Some fires are still burning. The scent of burnt flesh completely fills the air.

But the worst of it all, there is not a single trace of a living soul. Not even those fuckers. No one and nothing to be seen. They've truly killed everyone? Fuck! I swear I will find him, I'll torture him until his mouth goes dry from sayi-

[Your Madness has increased by 1]

Fuck me! Ok, I gotta go. Looking at the scene for more time will only increase my rage. And with it, my madness, it would seem. Turning a blind eye to everything that's happening around me, I shut down the guilty part of my conscience, and chose to move at full speed. Levitate! It's about time I get some practice with it.

I start off with an average walking speed. Increasingly, I command myself to be push faster. At first, nothing happens at all, but I feel how my view starts to distort as soon as I breach my running speed.

Physically speaking, I feel nothing wrong. Which probably means my body is not at its limit. So, it's my mind?

For the duration of the travel back, I spent every moment pushing my limits. Whenever the headache is unbearable, I slow down. Then, I force myself a bit more. And it would seem practicing for an hour yields its fruits, 4 levels actually. They don't improve Levitate per se; their effect is more subtle, denoting my actual ability and limits.

There we go, back to Irisgarth, I think as the familiar city takes shape on the horizon.