《No Face, No Life》035
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“W-hat?” I stammered. “Why? Why do you hate men so much, specifically? Did someone hurt you? I’ve a friend who was hurt deeply by some insensitive using asshole! It drove her to her death! I know how you feel! Men are filthy!”
She blinked at my response. “Ummm..." She hesitated. “It’s a common story.” She looked away. “Suicide is. Do you know the largest cause of women’s deaths? No, it’s not breast cancer. It’s men!”
What is with her irrational assertion!? Does she have reports full of statistics which would support thinking like that? She’s purely illogical. If she’s a detective, surely she's incapable of reasoning. I wonder if she can at least direct me to someone more serious than she seems to be?
I glanced back at the death trap over my shoulder and shuddered again. I’d no idea how I’d leave this place, assuming things went well. I continued my line of thought, discussing the matter of suicide and my own despair.
“It’s so sad... so many kill themselves these days. I was already tempted to kill myself, but there’s a strong core inside me demanding survival. I’ve been victimized like many women. Noh-face destroyed me. It utterly raped me. I was nearly killed by it. It toyed with me, torturing me. In the end, it even stole my identity. So you know, I know how it feels.” I felt myself breaking. Talking about my issues to someone who might by some remote chance sympathize with me, I lost a bit of my control over my emotions. I’d not dwelled much on what it did to me because I was working towards restoring my normal self.
I began to shake nearly as much as on the train, but not as much as when I’d discovered Reiko-chan’s demise. “Uwaaaaaaaaa!” I cried loudly, quivering, leaning against the near wall.
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The oni looked at me for a long moment, considering. Her eyes finally rolled. “What made you decide to call on my door wearing such a ridiculous costume? You want me to believe I’m supposed to take you seriously?”
I shook my head. “Well... reasons..." I stated, lamely.
“Reasons,” she scoffed and shook her head. “Well, at least I’m sorry I damaged your helmet. Your hair is black, right?” the oni detective replied.
I gasped and clutched at my head. My perfect disguise has been damaged! I didn’t notice it all this time? Is it because I don’t see through it, but around, somehow?
I touched the top where she’d kicked my head, and I found it was safe and sound despite how hard she’d kicked me.
“Y-you... how’d you guess it!?” I gasped. “My mask is fine! Could it be you’re actually incredible?!”
The detective oni laughed haughtily. “Oho! This was a statistical probability, of course. Don’t look down on my detective skills!”
I looked up at her, stunned. “Y-you... can you tell me what my face looks like?”
The girl paused to consider the question. “Umu... well... none.”
Right on! She’d guessed it correctly, too! I leapt to my feet. “You’re the real thing! I want to hire you right away! Please!” I exclaimed enthusiastically.
She gasped and lifted her bat off her shoulder as I approached her, warning me with a glance. I was totally going to embrace the oni on the spot, seized by my excitement.
“Why are you so impressed? It wasn’t a particularly amazing deducement. You told me your face was missing.” She shrugged.
“Oh... you’re right..." I noh-blinked. “O-Oh..." I stammered, pausing. “It’s true that I said that, detective-sama, but I’ve got you there! You’re my savior! I present my evidence!” I truly wanted to be a believer.
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“You haven’t seen my face yet, and you haven’t yet seen my hair! Y-yes! The hair deduction was truly genius! How did you know about my true hair color?”
“Oh...” she sighed, “that particular deduction.” Her lips twisted. “... well... you know. It isn’t rocket science. Everyone in this city has dark-coloured hair, mostly black, though brown is fairly common. People dye their hair these days outlandish shades, but you don’t seem to be that type. There were fair odds I’d be right if I said yours was black.” She shook her head and shrugged.
I blinked. “True... YOU FRAUDSTER!” I yelled, nearly tearing my hair out through my helmet.
She gasped and blinked, drawing back, ready to swing again. “Are you a total idiot? Are you really going to screw up what you’ve gained?”
I froze, my instinct to attack withered inside me. I still couldn’t believe in her, but she was my only avenue towards redemption. I slouched in defeat. “S-sorry, Detective-sama..."
The girl blinked and rolled her eyes, and suddenly broke into a laugh. “Idiot. What kind of a mind did your parents give you? Alright, I’ve decided. I’ll take your case. You’re totally harmless.” She crooked a cocky finger towards me as she turned towards her office door. “My name is Shinohara Rui. Call me Rui-Rui, or else Shinohara-san. No... sama. I like the ring of it! Rui-Rui-sama!” She laughed again. The laugh rang in my noh-ears as she led me inside.
“Let’s have tea while we discuss the price.”


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