My mother yelled through our thin walls with her raspy voice as she slammed on my door.

"Arisa! Arisa! Hurry and come out of your room, or else we'll leave you behind!"

It's only 7 AM. What does she want now?

I opened the door to my room, hoping that would stop her from slamming on my door. If this continues, then my door will fall off.

When I opened the door I saw my mother as she finally stopped. It didn't make her any happier that I opened the door, but rather more disappointed when she saw my clothes. My hair was unkempt from my lack of hygiene, my dead fish eyes showed my insufficient amount of sleep, and I was wearing a red tracksuit that was two sizes too big for me.

“Why aren’t you dressed yet? You useless daughter…” She looked at me with her eyes full of contempt, like always.

“Does it even matter? That guy didn’t even like me anyway. I’m sure he’d be glad that I’m not there. Well, not that he’d know, since he’s dead.”

Slap!

I took her slap and stared at the floor.

“...This is your father you’re talking about. He died a horrible death, and yet you don’t even feel an ounce of pain?”

Who are you to decide whether or not a death was horrible? What would be considered a good death? A death is still death no matter the circumstances. And how can you expect me to feel sad for him when he never did the same for me?

“I don’t consider him my father. He never did anything fatherly to me when he was alive," I told her.

My mother knitted her eyebrows and turned red with anger.

“You—” she brought up her palm as if she were getting ready to slap me again, when my little brother's voice could be heard from downstairs.

“Mom, are you done yet? We’re gonna be late to the funeral!”

I could see slight hesitation in her eyes before she brought her palm down.

Sigh

“I’m done with you. Taketeru and I will be going to the funeral by ourselves. Do what you like."

She turned her back away from me and walked down the stairs. Not too long after, the opening and closing of the door could be heard, followed by a dead silence.

I walked back into my room and closed the door behind me. I was about to fall on my bed and continue to sleep when I saw a girl with her hair styled into two braids come in through my window. It was my friend, Lily.

Not again... I could've swore that I installed a master lock on my window. I didn't even hear you come through the window or pick the lock. Do I need to start preparing traps?

"Didn't I tell you to stop coming through the window?"

Lily looked at me like I was crazy. Don't look at me like that, this is clearly a crime on multiple levels you know! I could sue you for trespassing and breaking private property.

"Eh? It's not like you'd open the front door for me anyway."

Well, that's true. Who would willingly invite someone who trespasses through windows into their home? Are you a thief? Lupin III?

"What do you want?"

"I just wanted to see you~" she said as she tilted her head to the side and gave me that cute smile of hers. You're way too cute! The cutest thief in existence! You're the one thief that people would leave their doors unlocked for you to come into their houses. Ah, would that be an new kind of thief? An idol thief? So instead of Lupin III it’s Kaitou Kid?

"Whatever. I'm going back to sleep," I said as I fell on my bed. I stayed up until 4 AM last night on a Gurren Laggan marathon. Three hours of sleep isn't enough for me to survive.

"Ehh~ I took the trouble to get here so let's play~" She kept on shaking me so that I would get up. It's not like I asked you to come... And what trouble?! You're room is literally right right to mine! It seemed like that lock was easy for you to pick wasn't it?! On the other hand, wasn't that lock enough to tell you "I want to be left alone"? What is with this stubbornness?!

How annoying. I put my pillow on the top of my head to forcefully remove the noise. But it didn't prevent her from shaking me.

"Arisa~ Let's play~" If she weren't so cute I would've turned her into my punching bag long ago.

"Don't want to!" I said. From now on it's a battle of perseverance! Do it for the sleep, Arisa!

"Play~ play~" The shaking... It won't stop... Am I on a roller coaster? Ah, I'm getting sick.

"Okay, fine! But I'm the one deciding what we're gonna play, got it?!" I lost the battle of perseverance in one minute. May the perseverance god bless me with abilities of stubbornness, or better yet, strip this idol thief of her stubbornness.

"Yay~" She hugged me as if to celebrate. Cute! Do I smell perfume?! It smells like lilies. Very clever. That's the perfect scent for you, isn't it? I was thinking of punishing you, but I think I'll let it go for today. Because you're cute.

"Then we'll play ‘Why Do I Even Bother?’. I just got the game yesterday." Well, the game just got released yesterday. Don't underestimate hardcore otakus!

I wonder why the creators gave it such a weird name. They must have crappy naming sense.

My Gurren Laggan marathon was disturbed so that I could buy the game, but it's not as if I could play the game before finishing the anime. Things must be done one step at a time.

I got off my bed and looked for the game on my desk. It wasn't that hard to find. My room is shockingly clean for an otaku's room, except for the few empty ramen cup noodles thrown here and there.

Okay, maybe not that clean, but there's enough space to walk, not like some kind of mini hoarders.

"Yay~ It looks fun!"

When I sat down on the floor she sat next to me as if it were the most natural thing in the world. You're cute, but can you please stop doing that? I'm not homosexual, you know?

I inserted the game into my PS3 and started it up. I already did a background check on the game, so I know what it’s generally about. Of course I don’t look through walkthroughs or anything though. That’s a violation of my otaku policy!

The heroine was a curly, blonde haired pretty girl with blue eyes named Estelia. Her name is too many syllables, so I shorten it to Este. She has the no parent trope and the "I was bullied as a child and had no friends" backstory. Este gets a scholarship to this rich magic school because of her enormous magic talent. Although she has high magic talent, she doesn't have the skills or experience to back it up, mostly due to her shy personality and poor household. Truly a game full of clichés.

There are four love interests that represent different magic elements. Fire, water, wind, and earth.

The love interest that we're going after this time is fire. His name is Akira Sato, and he has red hair and hazel eyes. The red hair color makes it easy to remember what element he is, but the creators are really simple aren't they? Would I also be simple for thinking that things are convenient this way? Names are difficult to remember.

When I thought that, the game's opening started to play.

♫ Spinning spinning ♫

♫ Round and round in circles ♫

♫ My heart beats uncontrollably for you ♫

♫ You push me down, you pick me up ♫

♫ Why do I even bother? ♫

♫ Ah, it's because I love you ♫

”You’ve got to be kidding me… The opening is stupid,” I said.

"Spinning spinning round and round in circles?". Seriously? The heroine and love interests were even doing that lame cliché opening thing where they run towards nothing. What is that supposed to be? Romantic? Were you born to run?

“Eh? I think it’s cute though,” said Lily.

You have no taste...

When we got through the introductions, we met the love interest for the first time. Except their first meeting was Este dropping her ice cream on Akira's shoes. Hey Este, why are you so clumsy? Ah~, this is that "first meeting by dropping my food on them" trope, huh?

[You are just a lowly commoner! To dirty my clothes is unacceptable!]

Lowly commoner? This game isn't set in the medieval age though? And she's a magic genius, you know? Are you sure it's the smartest thing to be mean to her?

"Mean~" said Lily. Looks like she agrees with me.

Everyone around was silent because of the commotion. Next to Akira was his best friend, Wind, who seemed to have a sympathetic expression that said "This girl's done for...".

The options popped up.

Apologize

Say it was his fault

Flee

This guy pisses me off, but this is only the beginning of the game. He will probably be nicer towards the protagonist later on, which is why I’ll choose [Apologize].

[I-I'm sorry!]

[Then if you're really sorry, lick it off.]

Is this guy serious? And why is Wind smiling?

Another set of options popped up.

Lick it off

Punch him

Flee

What is with these options? Am I capturing a Pokémon right now? Charmander, is that you?

But I can’t believe this guy told Este to lick it off. I chose [Punch him].

“Eh?! Why did you do that, Arisa?!” asked Lily.

“Because this guy is getting on my nerves!” I said.

Este pulled a girly punch on him. What was that?! That punch had no power behind it! You gotta put your guts into it!

Akira’s eyebrows which were already slanted turned down even more.

[S-sorry…]

“You’re still going to apologize?!?!” I said as I threw my game controller on the floor. Ah, this won’t do. Calm down Arisa, calm down.

[You're just a lowly commoner and yet...! How dare you!]

Akira casted an advanced fire spell towards Este and she died.

[Bad End]

Este, didn't you die too quickly? And what's with Akira's temper?

"It's all bloody..." said Lily. It really is. Isn't this supposed to be an otome game, not a horror? School days?

We started over and the same options popped up.

Lick it off

Punch him

Flee

This game doesn't have a save point feature, which means that messing up once means you'll have to start over, even if you're already far into the game. The creators were merciless. I didn’t want to waste time starting the game over, so naturally I chose [Lick it off].

Este got down on the floor and licked the ice cream off his shoes. Sorry, Este. If we had a masterball then you wouldn't be in this situation right now.

If I want to capture this guy, I’ll have to keep my calm. Not completing this route will stain my pride as a hardcore otaku.

After we got his intimacy level up a fair amount, the girls were getting a bit jealous and we had run into the classic bullying scene. There were about five girls who had Este backed up against the wall. The ringleader was a girl with her hair styled into two pink-ringlets.

[Someone like you is not fit to stand beside Akira-sama!]

And someone like you is?

[Know your place!]

The girl with pink-ringlets started to cast a fireball spell when Akira came.

[What are you doing?!]

[Akira-sama! T-this is… Sorry!]

The girls left the scene and another set of options popped up.

Thank him

Cry

Flee

Why is fleeing always an option? I chose [Thank him].

[Thank you, Akira]

[Hmph. If you weren't a beggar then we wouldn't be in this situation in the first place!]

Apparently this was a special event, because we unlocked a screensaver when Akira said that. Why are you so mean to her even after I brought your intimacy levels up… Actually, why is this considered a special event? There's nothing romantic about this.

After various mess ups and start overs, we finally got to the end.

The final set of options popped up.

Say you love him

Say you hate him

Flee

"Finally! I'm so done with this guy!" I said. Just pick [Say you love him] and I will finally be done!

[Akira, I love you.]

[Hmph. I already knew. You are just a lowly commoner... but I'll make due with you.]

No "I love you"? Is this really the ending scene? This is so dumb.

[Thank you!]

What are you thanking him for... Is what I thought, when pink-ringlets came onto the scene.

[This beggar doesn't deserve to be with Akira-sama... Which is why I will be the one to kill you!]

Pink-ringlets cast her fireball towards Este, and Akira looked at the scene in shock. What are you doing?! Go save her!

"Ah, she died," said Lily.

[Bad End]

You've gotta be kidding me...