“Think Nahlia...”

My room was locked and I was stuck in it. I didn't want anyone joining me and I was debating whether to leave and find Tayt myself. The cavern stone was around me and I could feel the natural moisture. I had two room lights and the old lampshades were painted hastily with pastel fingerprints. Maur made his men do it. There were bookcases across the way and a bed to sleep on. I was given a flashlight and food had already been placed and prepared at a table. Everything seemed fit to make me as comfortable as I could be. I could tell Maur put a lot of thought into my misery. My room was next to a workshop and there was constant echoes.

I lean and sit against the wall and let out a sigh. I was upset and was procrastinating. Tayt needed help and I didn't know what to say. I wish he knew that I cared. It was hard knowing your own heart and not being able to show anyone. People only saw what they wanted. We were all searching for someone to fully understand.

I peel aside my bed covers and lie down. The whole room had a stairwell and there was even a place for Lani to talk to me at the door. The communication wasn't too bad, like a foggy radio. I wasn't allowed to leave the mesa for a week. I discovered Maur had bought me to be Lani's friend and he wanted me to stay around. He knew I could easily run off to join the other Neandelerians if I got the chance. I would try to make the most of it here.

“I need to find Tayt....”

I stare at the food and watch it grow cold. I was grateful to have porridge and steak. I needed something familiar, instead. I thanked the mesa guards and frowned at them, when they tried to take my meal. I hit them. They weren't amused and told me things I didn't understand.

“I'm wasting it. This is bad.”

I look at the food some more. My hunger wasn't there. An intense shock was settling over me. I began to think about my death. Why did I end up here? What if I was truly alone and Tayt was dead? I didn't want to live here. I was drifting away. My eyelids were getting heavy and I felt sleepy. My calm breathing made me wonder. I started to have a dream....

Years ago...

Your genuine face

A touch of fresh air.

Your simple smile

Without a care

I find myself in a shoddy school building. I pick at the graffiti poem in my locker and slam it shut. I was trying to hide my face. I glance to my side, realizing I was visiting Tayt in the hallway. It was the day I decided to find him, instead waiting for him to barge into the lunchroom alone. He didn't show up the cafeteria and I became worried. I look over at Tayt.

His nose was bleeding and he was looking around him. Some ground dwellers were laughing at him, singing happy birthday with sadistic grins. My frustration mounts as Tayt wipes his eyes, trying to hold his tears back. The singing continues. Ned joins the group.

“Let's just get out of here. It's not even my freaking birthday today,” Tayt interjects.

I stop and chew my lips nervously and Tayt's bullies kick the backs of his shoes to make it difficult to walk. They step and run their feet down his socks. Just like before, I had enough of it. I flick them off and they laugh at me. We walk down the hallway. I quickly pull Tayt aside into the girl's restroom. None of his bullies follow us. Instead. they linger around and taunt from afar.

“C'mon Nahlia. Now everyone's going to wait outside for me and laugh,” exhales Tayt. He drops his arms to his side, but he is quickly silenced. For once, Tayt would have a good memory at school. I lean closer and give him a light, first kiss.

“Take it. It's a gift from tomorrow,” I say.

The bell rings and I wait for the bullies to disappear. Tayt and I walk away and decide to skip school. I didn't want the kiss to mean anything. It was my way of fighting back.

“Do you think they'll follow us out?,” I ask.

“Nah. It's just like the religious cults in Cepertine. You're like chewing gum and they spit you out when the flavor starts to fade,” answers Tayt.

Tayt looks behind him. We walk outside to a wall wedged between two shops. There was a food cart that passed by. He sold shit on a stick. I liked him. He was friendly and smiled. He knew us by name. Sometimes he would pass by my uncle's house and wave. I rarely saw it though. My window holograms blocked out the view.

“Hey Tayt. Can I ask you something?”

“Ah, Sure. Say anything.”

I hesitate. We look at each other for a while and I shake my head as I look away.

“If something were to happen. Would you forgive me?,” I ask.

“Yeah. I'd always forgive you. I love...being best friends. It kind of sucks, when you never want to be my girlfriend though,”

I roll my eyes, but Tayt doesn't see it through my shades. It was sunny out.

“Why do you want to know?,” shrugs Tayt.

I hold my hand up and he presses his sky dweller glove to my hand. We smile.

“I just wanted to know. It's nothing.”

I snap awake. I look around my room and sigh. The food was still there. It would only be some time before the arena fight. I was sure the days would go by quickly. Hopefully Lani would talk to me a few more times. I wanted to grow closer to someone. Tayt could be dead and I wasn't sure I could handle the bad news when it came. Everything happened too fast. I chew the inside of my cheek.

I stare upward and sigh. I push my hair behind my ears. There was the crest of Neandeleria plastered over the carved ceiling. It was a stuffed flower cushion, with lips in the middle, and target over them. I stare at the ceiling longer. The stuffed cushion was way out of place. Maur must have bought it from the refugees and glued it there. Next to it was a sticker. It was holographic and had a picture of a sea mammal changing faces when you moved from left to right. I had to give him credit for trying. I wasn't even a sea dweller though. They weren't my crowd. They wore trench coats and smoked a lot of different things. It was where I used to go to get my bag of happy. I wish I had some now. Then, I could die and be just happy with it.

I felt a strange peace, only disturbed by thoughts of my best friend. It was funny how the small things get remembered. They're worthless, but like gold to the right person. I always remembered the forgiveness, but Tayt used to hound me about the kiss. I wasn't trying to lead anyone on. I was just angry and that's how it came out. I decided to go to sleep and just worry about everything tomorrow. I didn't have time for old memories. Sleeping was needed to end the night.