Dried blood speckled my face, my shirtless body, and drenched my hand. When I was a mechanic, some days I arrived home covered in grease and oil, if my disposable glove ripped during a job, my hands were black with smut. Tonight, didn’t feel like just another day after work. Iliana and Maggie were waiting for me by the main entrance, when I entered, Maggie looked at the floor, the walls, the ceiling, anywhere but at me. After they greeted me, they asked about Victor, I told them he was gonna be fine, and we can check up on him when he wakes up.

I didn’t want to tell them about his eye, they didn’t need to know, not yet.

“What’s wrong? Victor is okay right?” Iliana asked.

“Yeah, didn’t I just say that?”

“Bona, you look like you’re hiding something. No, maybe I’m just looking for something…, I just don’t believe you. I was so worried about Emily, I feel awful, but Victor was just as hurt, his face looked like he suffered some serious trauma.” She paused at those last words. “I became a nurse, my father knew someone, they got me a job at the hospital shadowing a nurse, and I eventually became one. School was hard, long, and sucked, but I learned a lot, saw a lot. Bona, Victor’s face wasn’t normal.

“The two guys we knocked out only had bumps, but it looked like Victor was hit by a gorilla. I didn’t get a good look at him because of what happened.” Iliana looked over at Maggie staring at the floor. “But, even from 10 feet away, I saw how swollen his face was.”

“Maggie?” I called out to her.

“Huh?!” She looked at me quickly before looking back down. I nodded to myself, realizing this maybe the end I feared, but expected.

“Okay, Iliana, Victor is fine, he’s in Freya’s care, your right about the severity of his wounds, but he will recover. I need to go to the bathroom and shower. Emily’s in my room?”

“Yeah, she seems…,” Iliana signed. “I feel so bad for her. Why? Why her? Why anybody?” Iliana was struggling to hold back her anger.

“I-I’m gonna go.” Maggie quickly turned and walked further into the house.

I looked after Maggie, the girl who had so much faith in me, walk away, as if watching her walk out of my life for a second time. Then I turned my attention back to Iliana. “Good, I’m gonna go too.”

“We can talk soon. Emily needs you.”

“Right.” Emily was first, then the conversation I have feared for so long, the good-bye I have always expected. I cleaned up, got a chair from the kitchen, brought it into my room, leaving the lights off in the dark room, I worked by the light pouring in from the hallway. The second I entered, Emily began weeping again, I remember that when I was a child. I’d finish crying after being spanked and sent to my room, but when my mother walked in to check on me, I couldn’t stop myself from crying again.

The bed was against the wall farthest from the door, some of the light landed on her, she was still wearing my shirt, facing the wall, blanket just below her shoulder, hair messy, and her cries sounded spent. How long has she been wailing? I assume it’s been 13 minutes since she got here, out of those 13, how much was spent weeping? I put the chair beside the bed, scrambled for my bag, and got a new set of clothes to change into in the hallway.

Sitting by the bed, only sound emanating came from the girl laying there. An hour passed, and she cried herself to sleep. I turned on a single light, farthest from her, in the dim glow, I attempted to part her hair, to see her face, she shivered with a small, high pitch yelp as soon as my hand touched her.

“Emily, it’s only me, Bona?” Softly the words came out.

Emily inched closer to the wall, pulling her blanket tighter and further up. She tried her best to hide it, but I heard her stifled sniffles. I sat back down, shutting the light with a deep sign. After a few seconds, the only sound I could hear in the melancholic atmosphere of my dark room were her exhausted cries again. Eventually, it subsided to hyperventilation, then to the soft gentle breaths of a tired girl.

In the dawn of the next day, Emily stretched with a groan. “Mmmm.” She turned in bed, facing me, eyes red and puffy, tear trails and snot trails on her lovable face. She reached a hand out to me, I sat there staring at her, then crossed my arms.

“I want my bed back, wash the sheets and pillow first, cry baby.” I smiled and gave her a gentle chuckle.

Emily laid there, her face inscrutable, she pulled her arm back under the blanket, her eyes dropped staring at the floor behind me.

“Bona…” She cleared her throat, it sounded like she overused her vocals. “Why…, why didn’t you believe me?”

“I did, Emily, I just didn’t go with you.”

“Why that, then?”

“Really?” I asked, wondering if I should tell her.

“Y-yes.” Her eyes rose, landing on mine, her face as undiscernible as before.

I nodded before looking away. “If you were killed, taken, or wounded, I figured you could’ve been replaced.” My voice did not falter, but....

Emily only nodded, rubbing her cheek against the pillow. “Do you think you could leave? When I get my uniform, I can go back to serving you. I promise to be more formal.”

I quickly dropped my head and let out a breath. “Emily, why would I do that?”

She speedily sat up, turned her body towards me sitting on her thighs and slammed a hand on the bed. “BECAUSE! You don’t care about anyone! Life, my life, my l…, you…, I…” She was at a loss for words, but she wasn’t tearing up.

“You asked why I didn’t go with you. That is the reason.” She looked at me, she looked tired, she looked disappointed.

“Why? Why do men only see women as objects? Women matter, don’t they? We are not just trophies, not just sex toys, aren’t we?” She used a hand to brush some of her messy hair out of her expressionless, weary face. “If I die, there are more women, if I suffered, someone more desirable will replace me, is that how it is? Does God not care about me? I wish, I was Iliana, Maggie, ANYBODY BUT ME!”

And I wished Revel were here, he would know exactly how to answer her with logic, with statistics, with a sound reasoning. All I could offer her is something my pastor taught us long ago.

“The god of my world started humanity off with a man named Adam. Adam lived alone for some time in a garden called Eden. He lived with animals, named every one of them, from fleas, to elephants, but still, he was lonely. God talked to him, was near him on a constant basis, in a sense, he lived with God, yet he lived unsatisfied. The bible, a book written by chosen people that God inspired, stated that God walked in the garden, when the dew wet the soil, the grass, the bushes, God’s footprints soaked up that dew just like Adam’s.

“Adam had everything he needed, God nourished the fields, the animals, and Adam only had to give glory to him. I can’t remember how much time passed, but eventually, God learned that he made a mistake saying, ‘It is not good that man should be alone.’ God knew he messed up, the way Adam was, he couldn’t live forever happily. God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and as he laid upon the Earth that was but a few days old, God cut Adam’s chest, and removed a rib, laying it beside him.

“That rib, that missing part of Adam became his wife, Eve. God used the dirt of the earth to form Adam and used Adam’s rib to form Eve. The first two people to inhabit my Earth, my World. Adam was never mentioned questioning his existence, or happiness again till they disobeyed God’s one restriction.”

I looked over at Emily, she was looking off to the right, distant.

“Emily, I believe men are incomplete. We can never be happy till we find that missing piece. I believe God removed a rib from Adam, to symbolize to the people of my world that when you find the perfect women, she is what completes you. But the forces of evil cannot allow that completion because it is something God wanted, and evil always goes against God. This world’s God extended your mana range, your mana connection was so strong it reached me from almost a quarter mile away, 400 meters, that’s close to 1300 feet. Evil wanted to destroy your purity, and God gave you a way out through someone you…, help complete.” I smile at her as she continued staring into the distance, then her eyebrows furrowed before turning to me.

“Wait, I complete you?”

“You help to complete me. What I suffered through in life has taken many parts of me away. I had very little friends, and distanced myself from most everyone, I feel like the most incomplete man in existence, both here and in my world. But, I can’t imagine staying in this world without you as you are, my assistant, my servant, my friend.

“It is true I did not go shopping with you, I did not guard you because I didn’t care too, at least that is the kind of man I thought I have become. But Maggie was right, to my core, I still harbor the man that loved people. When I saw you, that man kneeling beside you, cutting your undergarments, I almost lost it. When that kid said you were his, I… well I kicked the kid’s ass.”

“No, you crushed his jaw.” Emily made a slightly disgusted face.

“Oh, forget the semantics.” I said waving a hand. “Though, I did tell him to shut his mouth, then made it impossible. But that anger apparently pushed Maggie away. She can’t look at me anymore. I keep messing up around the two people I care about most.”

“Thank you, Bona. Thank you for getting angry for me.”

“Emily, keep that smile, that breathtaking smile, please. That is the smile I want to protect, don’t get formal on me, don’t go disavowing the value God gave you. Or, my God gives women I should say. Women are not objects, playthings, or unrespectable, without a woman no man can be complete, happy, or content. It may not be true for everyone, but generally that is how it should be, that one perfect, missing piece.”

“Hmm. I promise, that if your beside me, I won’t lose my happiness. But Bona, I…, I can’t go back out. It feels weird, but when I think about leaving this house, my stomach, it feels light.”

“In my world it’s called butterflies. You get it when your nervous, scared, or when you eat butterflies.” I chuckled at my own lame joke.

“Butterflies?” Emily asked.

“I think your traumatized, Emily, I’m sorry. Seriously, because of my own laziness, I nearly lost you, Victor got hurt, and I…, I made Freya cry.” I felt my face morphing into a creature out for blood.

“Oh, Bona, you care for more people in my world than just me, and your two friends.” Her cheeks took on a liveliness, her eyes looked happier, her smile made the early morning sun look like a spotlight trying to find her from the high windows. Then she gasped, “Victor…, is he?” She looked at me with worry, I gave her a reassuring look and nodded.

“Victor is going to recover…. I care about myself as well, I matter too you know. Though I wonder about that sometimes. Any case, your family. Warren is starting to annoy me, I don’t care about the other workers, but if your family is in danger, I can go back there and kill him. That wouldn’t solve anything regrettably, just leave a vacuum for someone else to fill in, cause trouble for Mirk, or just cause panic. Worse, it maybe the final nail in the coffin to completely cut my ties with….” I couldn’t say it, I just gave a crooked smile and looked off to the side.

“You, you’re going to save my family? I mean you never once asked about them, now you are…, EEEEEE! Bona, you really meant it, I matter to you!”

“Quit it, you’re making me sick.” I held my stomach and made a nauseous face.

“EEEEE!!! I can’t wait for you to meet them. There’s Mom, Paul my little brother, Priscilla my little sister, and Virgil, my baby brother. I’ve told them a little about you, they hate you by the way, Virgil cries when I say your name. I mean who doesn’t right. EEEE! Thank you Bona. I was so, so worried about them. Thank you.” Finally, Emily began to tear up, happy, excited tears.

“Calm down, your being stupid right now.” I felt annoyed, only a tinge, but still it stimulated a proper response.

“S-sorry. Umm, I got so excited, I forgot, you’re battling with something. The possible lost of people you treasure. Bona, don’t kill Warren, please, I can’t say it would bother me if you did, but I don’t want you to lose them. Not because you are my master, but because you matter to me.”

“Uh-huh.” I narrowed my eyes, placed a hand under my chin. “Solving a problem without doing it the way I really want to do it. Hmm. We kept his brother alive like you asked, maybe…,” my yawn was so expounded that a tear dripped down my cheek. “Whew, I really need that bed back…, but I should talk to the guy we captured. Maybe get some tips from some of the knights, learn a few interrogation techniques, see if we could get anything out of that.”

“If you’re so tired, lay down.” She scooted to the far right of the bed, blocking her lower half with the blanket. I shook my head, but crawled unto the bed anyways, sticking my feet behind her. “Pillow has a wet spot.”

“Say, Bona?”

“…”

“Is it weird? I’m scared to leave this room, this bed, this spot.” Emily spoke in a slow, methodical voice.

“Then…, (yawn)…, don’t go anywhere, lay here if you have to.” I gestured to the empty spot to my right with my head which rested atop my arm, my eyes closed, tired from staying up all night watching after Emily. “Though, the second you lay down, someone is probably going to enter.”

Emily was in the motion of falling over like a domino when she stopped midway to say, “No way is that going to happen.”

There was a knock at the door and it quickly opened. Emily let out a yelp, and I felt her shaking.

“Hey, is everything okay?” Iliana stuck her head in. “Oh.” She slowly backed out closing the door, before it closed completely, she peeked her head in for a quick look, Emily was frozen, scared. I didn’t change my position, just started chewing on my tongue. After her quick look, Iliana, popped her head out, and slowly closed the door, while turning the knob so the latch didn’t make a sound.

“Emily, I can feel you shaking. You okay?”

“N-n-n-no, I…,” she swallowed hard, “I….” Emily completed her fall, burying her head to my right, sobbing.

“I scare you with my clairvoyance?” I asked like a parent comforting a child, still not changing positions.

Emily quietly sobbed. I turned to my side and started petting her head. “I heard his… voice. The second that door swung open. Bona, I’m so scared…,” She hyperventilated, her voice sounding even more overused. “His face is burned inside my head, his voice ringing in my ears.”

I continued rubbing her head for a few more seconds to comfort her, but the drowsiness of the all nighter became too much for me.

“You don’t have to do anything today, just lay beside me and watch over me while I sleep. If you feel more comfortable, sit up, or in the chair. We’ll work on getting you better, but first your family. Good night.” Emily just nodded her head, rubbing her face against the mattress, sniffling. I laid on my back and closed my eyes, almost falling asleep instantly, but I started letting my mind wonder. Thinking about a song from Miwa, “Don’t Cry Anymore,” when Emily felt alone, she didn’t cry, only said that she will try to be more formal. Does that mean its okay for her to cry now that she had me, that she knows, I care about her?

Miwa sang about losing someone, and she was going to try her hardest to go on living, even if only in the last moments. What would Emily have done if I didn’t tell her I was going to fight for her family? How strong willed was Emily? Maybe her moment, her strength to not cry anymore resided somewhere else, and I must help her get there, to a point where I am not needed.

I awoke sometime in noon, Emily just laid beside me as far as she could, staring at the door. Blanket still covering her lower half, her feet sticking out.

“Emily, you awake?” I sat up and stretched my arms out in front of me.

“Yeah, I can’t sleep anymore.”

“Is it because I took your spot.” I said groggily, looking at the wall to my left.

“I can’t say.” She sat up and turned to me, then suddenly threw herself at me, trapping my body in her embrace and burying her face in my shoulder.

“Whoa, calm down Nelly.” I was suddenly fully awake.

“Nelly?” She didn’t move.

“Sorry, name of a crazy horse I worked with at a farm in Massachusetts, just became something I say out of random here and there now.” She stayed hugging me tightly, face in my shoulders for another minute, I kept scratching my head, contemplating how to pull her off.

“Hey Emily, what happened to your father?” There was a reaction in her body, it tensed, finally she let go and swung her body around, feet touching the ground, facing away from me. The blanket moved enough to show that she was still wearing nothing but her slightly cut underwear under her waist. Emily quickly shifted the blanket to cover her legs.

“He’s… with the mana now. Why?”

“When you mentioned your family, I couldn’t help but notice your father wasn’t mentioned. If you don’t wanna talk about him, don’t.” I started scooting to the left of Emily, ready to get up and begin the operation to save her family.

“It happened 6 years ago. Bona, I know I haven’t known you for long, but I trust you, and you’re someone I want to be honest with. But this may sound crazy.” She swallowed hard then looked at me, I had no reaction to her words, keeping my poker face I worked hard to get during my time in JROTC.

“You know how the Balance are opening portals to other worlds?”

“Yep.”

“Back then I was 14, my father took our family out often for walks outside the city.”

“What city?” I realized I never asked Emily about her old city.

“Oh, Segola, it was named after it’s founder. He paid for workers to clear a large swath of the Amoghi Forest, and it took a mana user proficient in manipulating wood over 2 years to clear the stumps for level enough ground to build the city on. A lot of our resources came from hunting in the woods, and farming.”

“Farming? In the forest? Having been a farmer, with what knowledge I have, I think that is incredibly stupid. But a city that is not self-reliant, relying on sustainability through trade would be easy to take advantage of.”

“Yes, farming was difficult, honestly it was annoying hearing about this pest, this weed is especially copious, or that beast is at it again. But I’d really like to finish my story, please stop stepping in.” Emily looked at me with a sad smile.

“I’m sorry. I’ll listen from now on, I was only trying to learn more about you. One of my flaws from my past, possibly.” I motioned for her to go on.

“My father loved the woods, he worked on one of the farming fields, and on his off days, would take us walking on some of the paths trodden through the forest over the years. He always carried a sword with him, and my little brother Paul carried a dagger, he was 12 at the time, Priscilla was 9. On one of the trails, I was holding my father’s hand, we were about a mile from the city, maybe more, I wasn’t aware at the time. The walk there was short, the walk back was an eternity.

“Anyways, on one of the trails, my father heard a noise coming from the thick forest to our right, we couldn’t really see anything, there was a lot of growth blocking our vision. My dad was concerned and told us all to stay on the trail while he went to see what the sound was. ‘No pappy, don’t go,’ I pleaded with him saying it’s too scary. He told me he has to make sure it isn’t a wild animal that can hurt us, or that it wasn’t somebody that was hurt by a wild animal, ‘go to mama, now, once I see it isn’t anything, I’ll come right back,’ his smile comforted me, still I must’ve looked like a sad little girl. I ran over to my mom standing near her, Paul pulled his dagger out and stepped in front of us and the tree line, I watched as my pappy trotted through the bush and out of sight.

“There was a yell, a horrifying squelch sound and then silence. I mean, it was like in the moments after, I wasn’t even alive, I don’t remember hearing anything, or the act of me running past Paul to where my father parted the bushes.” Her face scrunched in pain. “T-through the parted bushes, I saw a figure that wasn’t the shape of my father, or even human, walking back, towards us, and as he did, it morphed, it changed shape to the familiar shape of the man who taught me so much. He taught me love, taught me how to deal with a broken heart, how to care for my little siblings, how to cook and run the restaurant with my mom, and the man whom I loved more than the God of this world didn’t walk out of the woods that day. I know what I saw.

“It came back onto the path, stared at all of us, furrowed his brow and said in a voice that sounded foreign, not only to us but to itself, ‘family, my family, my little Emmy, my little man, my love.’ Tears streamed out of its eyes, he wiped them in confusion and looked at us, then placed a hand on his chest, we all looked at him confused. ‘Honey, what did you see?’ My mother asked. It looked back from where it came, then back at her, ‘I’m so sorry. Kill me. Please.’

“I remember falling on my but, clenching the dirt, ‘what did you do to my pappy…? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY PAPPY?!’ I got up, and I ran to Paul, ‘Stab him, kill him!’ Paul looked at me worriedly and asked if I was alright. He said it was just pops, he probably just tripped and accidently ate some mushrooms. It came running towards us and grabbed a hold of Paul’s dagger and stabbed itself in the gut. ‘Honey!’ My mom yelled, we all cried, I know it wasn’t my pappy, but to see what looked like him with a dagger in his gut, I could not help but scream at the top of my lungs.” Emily began to cry at this point of the story.

“Suddenly there was a abnormal howling sound coming from the woods where it came from. It looked up towards the howling, then to us, ’I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.’ ‘Emmy, little man, honey, go home. Please forget about me. It isn’t safe.’ Suddenly, it went on all fours and like a wild animal, it ran into the woods. Ran on all fours, wearing my father’s face, clothes, skin, voice, calling me what my dad calls me, and only him, only my pappy calls me Emmy, not some beast!” She swallowed hard, I couldn’t do anything but sit there listening, watching her as she painfully shared a story that could’ve come out of a Grimm’s Fairy Tale.

“Paul tried to run after him, but mom pulled him back. ‘No! You-you heard papa, we need to go home, he’ll com-come back. Now Pauly we must go, okay.’ Paul turned his head to look at mom, and nodded, tears forming in his eyes. The walk back was so long…, I hated it, walking through the woods, all I can see shrouded by these stupid tears.” Emily wiped her eyes.

“Mom advised the guards, they went to check and found his sword, found some chunks of meat, and claw marks mixed in with his footprints. We…, we don’t know what happened to him, we can’t even bury him. I believe he was eaten by a creature from another world, a creature that can steal a person’s body, soul, and…, life. Bona, I know I sound crazy, but I’m not. An-and if you see my family, please don’t mention it, my mom, she’ll lose it, she’ll never forgive you, or me for telling you. Bona, please keep this between us.” Emily pleaded with me.

“If there is one thing I can promise you, Emily, it’s that I don’t ever want to break your heart. You bet that no one, but us, will know that I know.” I wanted to hug her, wanted to hold her, but I knew it wasn’t right. I’m not the kind of person to show affection, if I could control myself, if I was strong enough, I wouldn’t need Emily, Maggie, or Iliana, but I’m weak. I’m the weakest man I know.

Suddenly, as I was looking at the floor near my feat, Emily’s head popped into my lap, her face staring at the door. I believe a tear streamed down and hit my lap as there was suddenly a wet feeling where her eyes would be.

“Can you keep calling me Em? And pet my head? That is all I can ask of you at this moment. I remember when Iliana hugged you, you wouldn’t hug her back, now I know how she felt. Bona, you can’t love people, because you hate yourself, and you hate making people depend on you for comfort because you would rather just push them away. I bet your thinking about pushing me off to someone else, saying your not what I need or something.”

My chest felt heavy, a feeling like I was caught cheating. How did she know, I didn’t even know?

“Uh…, Wha…, uh, ye…, ahh, ug, yea…, s-sure, Em.” I quickly started rubbing her head.

“Ow, ow, not that fast stupid. I know my hair is messy, but your gonna set my head on fire.”

“S-sorry.” Why was I so flustered? I started gently petting her head, controlling my breathing.

“So, next, you’re going to talk to Iliana, and Maggie. Tell them your plans, and then to Freya, and some of the knights, the ones that don’t hate you yet, about what tactics to employ against that man. Then find a way to save my family.”

“Sounds about right.” I finally regained my composure.

“What about Victor?”

“Oh, I guess I can ask him too.”

“No, I mean, are you going to check on him?”

“Huh? Why?”

“Ugh, at least just ask him how he feels? Lie to him about you caring.”

“But I promised to Maggie that…”

“What? You promised you wouldn’t lie about caring?”

“No…, not really. Just that I wouldn’t lie about protecting people.”

“Hmm, that settles it then. Lie to Victor about caring, you’re not lying about protecting him. There you go, Warrior Bona.” I felt her face changing into a smile.

I signed. “I won’t lie. But I will ask him how he is doing when I ask him for advice.”

I felt Emily’s smile growing larger, she suddenly turned her head and rubbed her face in my lap. “EEEE, Bona you are such a softy.”

“Em, your gonna…”

“Make you sick, I know…, you should go, I’ll stay here.”

“You still…, can’t.”

“No, I thought I could, but…, staring at the door, I imagine it, him standing at the other side, his monstrous son beside him.” I felt her head twitch as she gulped. “I can’t, I’m sorry Bona, I can’t go out. Not yet.”

“I’ll be ready to hold your hand when you are ready.”

“What are you, my dad?”

“Ha, if you were 14 six years ago, it means your 20 now, I’m 26, same age as Maggie, 3 years older than Iliana. I don’t think any of us can be considered anything more than your colleagues.”

A short moment passed, Emily sat back up and turned to me. “I consider all three of you my closes friends.” Oh god, that smile, Emily was the pure embodiment of beauty and innocence in this moment. Yes, her eyes were puffy, yes, her face was messy from a night and hours full of tears, emotions, and snot, but somehow all of that was blasted away and left something behind that stole my breath.

“Why were you so scared when Iliana snuck in here then?” I asked out of concern.

“I can’t explain it, I hate myself for it. I hate him.” She looked focused.

“Well, when the time comes, do you want to kill him?” Emily looked at me in surprise.

“I-I don’t know if I can.”

“Okay, I’ll kill him, and you watch, or you hold my hand and help me. Either way, if that will help, I’ll try to arrange it.” I smiled at her.

“I-I don’t know.”

“Fine. Think about it. Now, it’s time to start the day, or the evening I should say.” Realizing the light outside the high windows wasn’t as bright as it was a few hours ago, I walked towards the door.

“Hey Em, try to shower and clean yourself up. Iliana is gonna try to get you a new outfit. Still wanna wear a main outfit.”

“Yeah, P-Please hurry back. When you get back, you can walk me to the bathroom. Just till I get better.” Emily looked down to the floor, angry, possibly angry at her own delusions, and weakness. Such is the fate of someone facing a traumatizing event, they go through something no one else can hope to comprehend. I gave her a grunt of agreement and started walking out but stopped when Emily made a sound.

“Hmm? What’s up Em?”

“Actually, walk me know, I have to pee.”