P(r)ologue

“Hey kid. Can I ask you a serious question.” An older woman asked me.

“Um? Uh sure. Go ahead.” I gave a reply.

However, she didn’t ask her question immediately. Only stared upon the streets. Carriages moving around with children running and playing around. She looked at the children and a smile carved on her face. As if enjoying the calm atmosphere that brightened up with their smiles.

“Are you afraid of me?” She asked me, her eyes looking at the playing children.

How did she…?

My stomach rolled and my throat dried up. My chest tightened and my body feels hot. I tried to answer with something, my mouth opened, but nothing came out. I repeated that same steps a few times, my mouth opening and closing but no words coming out. In the end, I just stayed quiet.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice all the times you unconsciously touched your right arm. During that time in the interrogation room and even that time in the hideout. I thought maybe you had an injury or something. But I think I understand now. Is losing an arm really that scary to you? Or is the thought that a monster who could easily kill you is right in front of you?”

The feeling of my right arm shaking was suddenly made aware to me. Just like what she said. I immediately went over to hold it.

My eyes darted around to search for an answer to that question. What do I tell her? Also, Monster? No way she is a monster! After all the things she did for me, for us, how I could I ever think that way?!

This bubbly, happy, relaxed and sometimes violent woman.

No way I could…

“... a little bit.” I replied to her hesitantly. Letting go of my right hand. My still shaking right hand.

I didn’t give her the chance to reply just yet. I just slam my right arm on top of the table for her to see. I then took a deep calming breath before trying to calm myself. My right-hand slowly stopped shaking before coming to a complete still.

“I don’t think you are a monster Miss Effinshia. But… It’s just that… I can’t help but have these scary thoughts…” I said before trailing off into empty words.

“Not a monster huh... ” I could hear her mutter under her breath.

It was then that I saw that her lips curved upwards into a smile.

“You know. I knew a person like you once.”

“Hmm?”