《Hallucination Station》Chapter 8 - Romance and Recollection
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Present day…
Six months had passed since Tyler had last seen Desi, his mother, Elise, or Andrea. He had been with Kaiya the entire time trying to build a case and had been trying to develop a strategy in the hopes of finding his family. There were some instances where they tried running through Tyler’s memories to see if he could remember anything else, but there was no new information. The only hints that they had to go on were the two flashbacks that he told Kaiya. Albeit they weren’t much at the time, but they were still helpful.
They tried reaching out to child protective services and the police to see if they had any information on Andrea and where she was, however, they weren’t able to find anything. Just like how they weren’t able to find anything in Tyler’s dream. The only difference was that he wasn’t alone when he couldn’t find his family. At least he had someone to attempt to confide in when dealing with the situation.
“Did you have any luck finding any more information on them?” Tyler asked.
“No, I got nothing so far,” Kaiya said. “There was nothing to go on since I don’t have access to any of the police reports because I’m not a police officer nor a doctor.”
“Why a doctor?”
“Because whenever the police bring someone to the hospital, they need to tell the doctors about the patient, so they know who they’re dealing with. That was what the case was for you, they brought it up in and they took the doctors about you. But since you passed out, they put you in the psychiatric unit because of the suicidal thoughts as they were afraid that you were a threat to yourself and to others around you.”
“Well, that’s nice to hear. All I did was panic due to all the built-up stress, but I couldn’t remember anything after that. Just like with the dreams and flashbacks, I have blanks in my memory; I remember more things than others. And I hate that I can’t remember everything.”
Kaiya walked over to Tyler and rubbed his head and smiled.
“You shouldn’t beat yourself up over small things like that, you’re dealing with a lot of stress. Anyone would be acting the same that you’re acting, I know I would be losing my mind as well.”
Kaiya’s kind words were very well received by Tyler, it was the first time that someone actually cared about him outside of his sister and his mother. He slowly started to accept the fact that Kaiya was actually there to try to help him as opposed to working against him and lying to him.
“I know, I’ve said this before, but I want to thank you for your help,” Tyler said. “I really do appreciate your help. Most people wouldn’t have bothered to help me in this situation. But apparently, you saw something in me or saw something in my situation that compelled you to help me, and for that I am grateful.”
Kaiya smiled and blushed a little bit. She wasn’t expecting Tyler to completely trust him, even though he was still partly skeptical. But that was just his personality.
Tyler got up from the table and went and sat on the couch. Kaiya then joined him by sitting next to him. They started to develop a good friendship over the few months that they spent together. They talked about everything since they were technically living together.
Kaiya rested her head on Tyler’s shoulder and wrapped her arm around his.
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“There is one question that I have been wondering for a while now but didn’t know how to ask it,” Kaiya asked cautiously.
“Oh, alright, what’s the question?” Tyler responded.
“Where did you live prior to meeting me? Surely, you had your own place, right?”
“I have my own place. However, I haven’t been there for a while because I’ve been here with you. I actually got a job after leaving Andrea’s house and graduating high school, I’m also in college, however, that kind of went out of the window after I went to the hospital. Just like you, I couldn’t handle the stress because of school and also because of what was happening with Andrea and Desi.”
“I see, so you’re actually a college student just like me.”
Kaiya herself started to realize that she and Tyler were more alike than she originally thought. She always knew that she could help him, but she didn’t realize that she was closer to him than she first thought. She tried to mask her feelings toward him because she was afraid that he would shut her out because of how standoffish he was. But ever since they met each other, they slowly started to open up to each other more and more. They started to develop a sense of trust between themselves and also started to develop somewhat of romantic interest in each other as well. But both of them were afraid to say anything because they didn’t know what the other person was thinking nor what their mental state was when they first met.
There was a bit of silence between the both of them, none of them said anything they just sat there and watched TV and enjoyed each other’s company for the time being. They both wanted to take their mind out of all the hard work that they put in trying to find Tyler’s family. But there was still more than Kaiya wanted to know about Tyler’s final moments before he lost contact with Desi and his mother. However, she didn’t know what to ask or how to approach the situation because that situation was still fresh in his mind and didn’t want to cause a trigger in his head that would cause him to have another mental breakdown that would send him back to the hospital, thus erasing all of the progress that they made.
Although, to Tyler, the feeling was mutual. He felt the same way about Kaiya that she felt about him. Ever since he laid eyes on her when she offered him a ride to get something to eat and he stared at her hair and wanted to stare into his eyes; he knew that he had felt something toward her. But he just didn’t know what he was feeling at that time. Was it apathy? Was it rage? Was it even love? Did he just feel that way toward her because it was a nice face actually showing him so compassion? He didn’t know at the time; he still didn’t know what to feel or think. However, he was sure that he felt something; he just didn’t know how to express how he felt. Because every time that he would go to express some kind of feeling toward something, it would always go up in flames because the people in his life he felt were more important than those in the outside world.
They both wanted to say something, anything to break the silence that was happening. But neither of them knew how to do that. They were still in their infancy when it came to starting conversations, especially when it came to starting a conversation in a romantical situation. Both of them had their own set of problems and issues that they were dealing with, however, they knew that they weren’t too far off from each other. It was just trying to find the words to say to one another that was the biggest problem for the both of them.
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They knew the situation that they were dealing with. Tyler’s mental health, his family’s disappearance. Trying to find answers as to where Andrea could have taken them; why she took them from where they were. What the final words were that Andrea said to Tyler before they disappeared. They also needed to figure out if those dreams that Tyler had six months ago still actually met something or if they were just a farce. They still didn’t have an answer for that. He hadn’t had any more dreams like that, it was sometimes an occasional nightmare or two once a week. However, they weren’t as bad as that one. But they still happened, nonetheless. He could never explain the backstory for his nightmares and why they happened, just like how he couldn’t explain the intrusive thoughts he had about those that he didn’t like either. None of it made sense to Tyler at all. The fact that the police and the social worker at the child protective services office made him look like a psychologically deranged person made Tyler feel like there was no one out there outside of Kaiya that was willing to listen to what he had to say.
Kaiya was trying to find the words to say about the situation herself. She would think about a conversation starter, but then would retreat back into her thoughts she felt like it was a stupid way to open up a conversation. She wasn’t confident in her ability to hold herself together, let alone try to motivate someone else to keep trying to find the answers to their own problems.
Kaiya cleared her throat and that caused Tyler to turn and look at her with an intrigued face. But he just assumed that she was just clearing her throat and thought nothing else of it and continued to watch TV.
“Well, there goes that plan.” Kaiya thought. “I thought that would entice him to ask me what was wrong or something. But it just looked like there was something in my fucking throat.”
She squeezed Tyler’s arm into frustration and started to turn red. He noticed that she was progressively squeezing his arm tighter and tighter. He started to wonder if there was a problem or if she was just cold or something like that.
“Hey, are you alright?” Tyler said trying not to sound concerned. “You’re squeezing my arm pretty tight, are you cold?”
Kaiya realized what she was doing and quickly released the pressure off of Tyler’s arms. She released herself from Tyler’s arm and sat up and started blushing uncontrollably. She knew that she had messed up whatever conversation started that she wanted to have.
“Umm… yeah, I’m alright…” She muttered quietly trying to hide her embarrassment. “Just was thinking about some things, you know?”
Now that she got that out of the way and finally said what she wanted to say, Tyler could confirm in his head she was indeed wanting to say something. But just like Kaiya, he didn’t want to engage in a conversation if there wasn’t one, to begin with. He felt that if he had asked her if she was alright when she cleared her throat and that she said that she was doing just that, he would have felt a level of embarrassment. But at the same time, he had never been in a situation like that before, so no one could really blame him for asking the question. Because of his mind, he saw someone clearing their throat for two reasons. Firstly, that person had something in their throat. Or secondly, that they wanted to say something, however, they didn’t know how to start the conversation. So, they would clear their throat to try to engage the person that they wanted to talk to and have that person initiate the conversation.
However, it could also be the fact that both Tyler and Kaiya had major anxiety when talking to people and were socially awkward. Kaiya actually was diagnosed with a social anxiety disorder at one point in her life, so it wasn’t too big of a surprise that she had difficulty starting a conversation. Tyler, on the other hand, wasn’t diagnosed with having any mental disorders, however, he wasn’t tested for them either. So, he didn’t know if he had anything truly wrong with him or not.
“I see, what were you thinking about?” He said.
Kaiya fiddled with her hands. She was nervous about what Tyler’s reaction would be to the question that she wanted to ask him. However, she was also worried about the potential outcome of whatever he was going to say. Whether that would be positive or negative, she wasn’t ready to hear what he was going to say. But she knew that she needed to hear the answer. Maybe if he could recall what Andrea told him prior to him leaving then maybe she could figure out something.
“W—well, I was thinking about what your last conversation was like with Andrea before you left.” She stuttered. “Maybe we can go off of that and maybe get somewhere.”
Tyler wasn’t all too concerned about that question. In fact, he had been anticipating that question for the longest time at that point.
“Well, to make a long story short; I went to her house and told her that I was back to talk Desi with me. However, she told me that wasn’t going to give her to me. I asked her why, and she said that I wasn’t a legal guardian or qualified to take care of her. Then I saw that Desi was standing in the doorway behind Andrea and that’s when I said that I would go to the police about her and that I knew that she had been abusing Desi. She asked me how, and I said that she kept me away from her for the longest time. Then the last thing she said was that if I left and went to the police that I would never see Desi ever again.” He said.
“So, you had a feeling that Andrea was abusing your sister?”
“Yes, I did. I just couldn’t prove it. But I had a great feeling about it. Because think about it, she literally left for years and didn’t tell anyone. And then I happened to find her years later, and that’s what she tells me? God knows what she did to Desi.”
“Wait a minute. Did you say that she left without saying anything?”
“Yeah, why?”
Kaiya started to piece the puzzles together. It was starting to make sense. The dreams and flashbacks that Tyler had weren’t a farce, they were actually true. There was no way that she could’ve just up and disappeared without a trace and—
“Wait, where was the last place you said she was when you spoke to her?” She asked.
“She was at her house…”
Tyler was very confused about what Kaiya was trying to get at.
“Why does that matter?” Tyler thought. “What is she supposed to do with that information?”
Kaiya prepared to ask herself a very important question because she knew that it would solve the situation. At least, that was what she hoped would happen.
“S—so, you found her at her house, right?” She asked.
“Yes.”
“In the dream, you said that when you woke up that no one was there, right?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Do you think that the dream is connected to what happened when you last visited and confronted Andrea?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
Even Kaiya was starting to second guess herself, what she was saying wasn’t really making much sense. How could the dream and flashbacks coincide with reality? That was until it hit Kaiya.
“Do you think it was possible that Andrea could’ve gone back to her house at any point after you were taken away by the police?” She asked.
“It could be possible, yes.”
“Better yet, did she say that she was dating anyone or living with anyone else?”
Tyler started to remember Andrea mentioning a boyfriend that she had.
“Yeah, she said that she had a boyfriend that would occasionally visit or stay at her house, but she never gave us a name for him or where he lived.” He said.
It could’ve been possible that Andrea could have moved to where the boyfriend lived for the time being while Tyler was away and then when Tyler was gone, she went back to her house.
“We need to find out who her boyfriend is and where he lives.” She said with a determined expression on her face.
“There’s just one problem though,” Tyler said. “I don’t know his name, she never mentioned him at all.”
“Did he ever come over to see her at any point?”
“Maybe like once or twice, but I never really paid attention.”
That was when it dawned on Tyler.
“Wait, I did remember seeing him and actually meeting him one time because Andrea was so happy that he came to see her.” He said.
“Do you remember his name? Or what he looked like?”
“Uhh… J—Jake? J—Jackson? J—Josh, maybe? I can’t remember.”
Tyler closed his eyes and tried to backtrack to when he met Andrea’s boyfriend. He remembered that he was sixteen and that her boyfriend had come over.
Tyler remembered sitting down on the couch when Andrea walked upstairs with some random guy. He remembered being excited to see whoever she was with.
“She said, ‘Tyler, this is my boyfriend [blank]. [blank], this is Tyler.’” He recalled. “Oh, what the fuck was his name? I think it was… Joseph. Yeah, it was Joseph.”
He looked at Kaiya and was for certain that Joseph was Andrea’s boyfriend that he remembered meeting the only thing was that he needed to find him and then at that point, he would find Andrea.
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