I plastered on a serene look, “Hulda, thank you. The Council will meet in the morning here at the Palace. As you are on the council, I appreciate you sharing this information with them.” I allowed my powers free from the tips of my fingers, crawling across the floor and wrapping themselves around her body. She flinched, but stayed in place. “And need I remind you, this is not a request. By the order of me, the Queen, all of you shall be here upon the moons’ setting.”

She sneered, “As you wish,” and I released my hold. Without a second look to her daughter or mine, she dipped her chin and whipped around, stalking out of the room. Penelope nudged out of Kiki’s hold and my cousin set her on the ground, but my daughter stuck close by as I surveyed the kitchen, fighting off the exhaustion from the day.

“Keek, what’s for dinner?” I asked, my voice nearing a whine, as I slipped into an old habit of relying on my older cousin for so much.

She snorted and rolled her eyes, “Birdie, I’ve been gone just as long as you. I have no idea who runs the palace anymore. Trust me, if I did, I’d be demanding they order the cooks in to prepare a four-course meal.”

“Mommy,” my daughter tugged on my hand, “I’m bored.” Kiki leaned down meeting Penelope at eye-level and said, “Shall we show you to your room then? I think it’s time for someone to go to bed.”

My heart constricted with panic. Our first night home, my home, not hers. The unfamiliarity of it all must have been overwhelming. On Earth, the four of us shared a modest house in a small town, barely having enough space for two full baths. And now, here we were in a sprawling castle, big enough to fit fifty of our houses. The unnaturalness of it all clawed at me, my overwhelming urge to run or scream kicking in. Breathing through my nose and releasing a long sigh, I squatted next to my cousin. “Baby,” I said, tucking a strand of wild red hair behind her ear, “if we find some snacks, can Kiki take you to your room? She’s right…you need to rest.”

“Mommy, will you cuddle with me for five minutes?” She asked, her eyes wide and hopeful, expecting me to fulfill our typical nighttime routine. I smiled, “I’ll do you one better. How about a sleepover?” She clapped her hands together and squealed with joy.

“Come on,” Kiki stood up, “let’s grab some snacks.”

Desperate for a moment to myself, I said, “I’ll meet you up there. I’m going to fix something for myself quick.” My cousin picked up on my lie, detected the longing in my voice and nodded, snatching some snacks off the counter by the door and shooing my daughter out into the hall. Waiting until their footsteps faded down the hall, I sunk onto the floor and wrapped my arms around my legs, bringing my forehead against my knees. Sitting in the silence of the kitchen, I waited, anticipating the adrenaline to dissipate any second. No clocks existed in Clydonia. We told time through the suns and moons in the sky, so nothing alluded to the amount of time I sat there. But as the last drop wore off, my body shook. The sobs released from me so violently, I feared I might crack a hole beneath me. Holding onto myself as I shook and cried, my body settled into a rhythm, rocking myself back and forth, the smallest measure of comfort. I barely noticed the warm hand on my shoulder as I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my forehead harder into my knees. “Why?” I cried, speaking the rhetorical question plaguing my mind since the day I learned of my own fate. Strong hands pulled me into a warm chest, and I released my legs, allowing the arms to cradle me. My life decided for me before I even had a chance to think for myself. My mother, a cruel horrible woman destined to die by my hands. But why reign over her people so vindictively. Why did she stop caring about the people relying on her? Why murder a man who dedicated his life to her? Why stop at nothing to turn away anyone who ever mattered? And why did I have to be such a coward and run away?

“You weren’t a coward,” Rune whispered. I cursed myself for thinking the last part out loud. Or perhaps I said everything out loud.

I sniffled against his uniform, “You thought I was. You–you wouldn’t even look at me…treat me the way you treated me before I left. I’m a coward, Rune.”

“Birgitta,” he murmured into my hair, “no. I was hurt. You left me. I thought–I thought I mattered to you, but you left.”

“I didn’t want to ask you to go…because I was afraid of how broken I’d be if you said no.”

He surprised me by pushing me away and holding me out at arm’s length, his face terrifyingly serious. “What?” Shaking his head, he said, “Birgitta, you have to be kidding me.”

My bottom lip trembled, “What was I supposed to think? Your loyalty lied with her. I never–I worried about pushing you.” He let go of me and rubbed his face in his hands, murmuring something incoherent.

I clicked my tongue, “Really, Rune? Is now the time to talk under your breath?”

He dropped his hands, mouth turned down, “All this time. Good gods, Birgitta, all this fucking time, I thought you knew how I felt. But here you are telling me you doubted my loyalty? To you? I loved you.” I winced on his use of the past tense, my heart sinking into my stomach. “And now I find out, you weren’t sure of that? What did I have to do?” He ticked off a list, “I told you I loved you, promised to leave the guard if it meant I could be with you…”

“What?” I interrupted him, holding out my hand, “No, you absolutely did not.” My anger boiled under the surface at the audacity. Surely, if the man of my dreams, the father of my child, shared these facts with me, I wouldn’t have hesitated or doubted anything.

“Birgitta, yes I did. And you said nothing. I waited, thinking perhaps you were shocked by my admission, thinking I had scared you a little. When I heard you left, I gave up hope entirely.”

Now, it was my turn to push away from him. I stood up, stomping away from him, throwing my hair back over my shoulders, “Had you said any of that to me, I would have asked you to come away. But I swear it on the ancient powers,” his eyes widened, the sacredness of swearing on the ancient dieties so rare, “you never said a word to me.”

He hoisted himself off the ground and walked over to me, running a hand through his hair in exasperation, “Then who did I tell it to?”

The floor dropped out from under me and I steadied myself, reaching out to grab his arm. “My Queen?” he asked, concerned, “Your face is rather pale…r than normal.” Had the breath not left me entirely, I may have laughed. But the realization of whom he shared his truths rocked me to my core. “Rune,” I started, “my mother’s powers…my powers now. Well, I think they include some type of, I don’t know, gods, this is going to sound crazy. But what if she could take another person’s form?”