“We are not arrogant, no, not at all. We serve the world.”

–Green Heart, spokesperson for the Superhero Corps.

“Humble minds never overcame the impossible.”

–Ice Blood, court martial transcript.

Have you ever wondered what superheroes do when they aren’t busy saving the world?

I never have. I just assumed they made a seamless transition from living the high life to battling the saucers… and maybe the other teams are doing just that, but the Cerberus Brawlers aren’t. The Brawlers have a squad of six superheroes on call twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Saucer attacks aren’t that common, and so we spend a lot of time sitting in the armory waiting for an attack. A part of the armory has been converted to a waiting room, with bookshelves and screens to keep us distracted. It’s not very comfortable to sit around in our armor, but it means we can be in our capsules in minutes and be anywhere on Earth in twenty minutes.

My first three shifts went by with no attack. Or more accurately, no attack in our territory. There was a saucer brought down near Auckland, but we weren’t involved. A smallish devilserpent was found in the Amazon, but disappeared before anyone could respond, and a scout saucer shot over Europe without being intercepted. All in all, it was a quiet time.

I never would have thought being a superhero could ever be boring. It’s a strange, nervous kind of boredom that pervades the armory, because it may be the last boredom we ever live to have. One of my teammates is sitting in silence and staring at a wall, which is slightly unnerving. Her name is Bad Attitude, and she hasn’t said a word to me since we were introduced. Another of the team, Slow Learner, is reading a thick history book. Never Lies and Bad Day are playing a two-player game of space invaders. Both seem reasonably relaxed yet alert. Pet Shark is building some kind of three-dimensional holo-puzzle, assembling the pieces in the air above a console. I can’t quite make out what he’s building, but there is a lot of red to it. I don’t feel like I can focus on anything more strenuous than a comic book right now, so I select one off the rack and walk over to a comfortable leather chair.

“Not that one,” says Bad Day as I’m about to sit down.

“Why not?” I ask, moving away from it.

“The last three people to sit in that chair died on the next mission. Sit somewhere else.”

“Okay,” I say.

“That’s nonsense,” calls out Pet Shark, “lots of people die regardless of whether they sat in the chair or not. Don’t be a chicken.”

I move to a different chair. We spend the next hour in silence, each of us preoccupied with our own thoughts. Pet Shark finishes his puzzle. It’s a human heart being split in two by a knife. Unpleasant. Time goes past slowly, and it’s almost a relief when an alarm finally rings. Never Lies stops playing and walks over to a computer screen. Technicians walk in, check our suits and then leave.

“Listen up,” says Never Lies, “we have something coming in from team Gold Storm in South America. They say they brought down an unusual saucer but don't have the manpower to investigate the crash site and request our help. They have not provided any further information or briefings, but we have satellite coverage coming up now.”

“Why don't they have the manpower?” asks Pet Shark suspiciously.

“I don't know. Look, there it is.”

The satellite is a little grainy from interference, but we can make out a small saucer lying between huge trees.

“I’ve never seen one like that,” says Slow Learner.

“Neither has anyone else. Worth having a look at,” says Never Lies.

She brings up a map of the area with two red dots near the saucer and a semi-circle of blue dots a few miles further out.

“Red dots are the meeting points. The one nearest the saucer is our prime, to the north is secondary. Blue dots are evacuation points. The weather is going to be rough, so get on the ground quickly. Lots of trees, so be ready for close combat. Set?”

“Set,” we all say in unison.

“Then let’s go.”

I pass out when the capsule is shot out of the cannons, but I’ve heard that most superheroes do. I wake up in time to experience the roller coaster ride back to Earth before I eject out of the capsule right into a raging storm. I fall clumsily through the air until my parachute opens with a jerk and starts dragging me backwards. I cut the lines and drop, slowing my fall with my new powers of flight. It’s not easy; the storm drags and pushes at my body as if it is trying to pull me apart.

The gusts of wind and pounding rain come from all angles without pattern, making it impossible for me to fly in a straight line. This is no ordinary storm.

I see a blue flare on the ground and land beside it. Never Lies is already there. She walks over to me, opens her visor and beckons me closer.

“Don't have the manpower my ass,” she screams into the wind, “they were just too scared to fight in all this!”

Maybe they were onto something. Water is leaking into my suit, and flying in this wind is draining my power quickly. We might be the first superhero team to stage a completely pedestrian attack. The rest of the team join us, except for Slow Learner. We form a circle, weapons pointed at the shadows. The trees sway dangerously in the wind. We hold our position for a few minutes, but there is no sign of Slow Learner so Never Lies moves us on.

We move through the forest in short hops, blasting through the storm. It’s hard work, and I use up far too much power just moving. There is no sign of alien activity, but they could be right next to us and we wouldn’t see them in the rain and trees. Branches wave overhead and a tree crashes beside me. My heart is beating hard in my chest: we could be walking into an ambush.

We find the saucer is lying upturned between two spires of rock. It’s small and looks shiny, like cut glass or diamond. Never Lies motions us to spread out. She has one of her shoulder cannons pointed at the saucer and the other pointed back the way we came. The saucer has a crack down the middle and looks like a broken egg.

“What the hell?” says Bad Day.

“Heads up,” snaps Never Lies

Not a broken egg, a hatched egg.

We spread out and search the trees. Branches wave back and forwards wildly in the wind and rain lashes our helmets. My suit is leaking; I hope I don’t get electrocuted. My helmet visor is fogging up, so I flip my helmet open. I keep searching, moving deeper into the trees.

I find Slow Learner lying in the mud.

“I found Learner!” I shout, and wave for the others to join me.

No one does, and when I turn around I’m alone. It’s not a good feeling to be in the dark, alone, and hunting aliens, especially when a more senior member of the team has been taken out. Being a superhero is supposed to be a team sport, but it never seems to work out that way for me.

“Saucer… okay.”

I check Learner’s suit. The lights on his helmet say he’s still alive, but he isn’t moving. I can’t see any obvious damage on his suit, but that’s no comfort. A branch cracks behind me and I whirl around, but I can’t see anything. It’s so dark that I turn the flashlight on my arm on. The lights cast dancing shadows against the trees, so I shut it off before I get totally spooked.

I see a blue flare in the distance. It’s the sign to gather, so I fly towards it. The wind is at my back, so the flight is short and clumsy. I nearly overshoot, but Bad Attitude catches me as I pass.

“Thanks,” I say.

She looks too tense to reply. Bad Day teleports beside me, but the wind picks him and throws him against a tree. He slides to the ground and walks towards me, fighting the wind with every step. Never Lies beckons me over and I stand face to face with her. She does not look happy.

“Update?” she asks.

“I found Slow Learner. He’s alive–”

“You left him?” she asks sharply.

“Um… yes? We didn’t–”

“Get back there NOW!” she orders.

Bad Day grabs me and I point to where we need to be. We teleport into the air, through the trees and back to Slow Learner. It’s a rough, clumsy ride and we land in the branches of an ancient tree. I bash my way out and drop down to the ground.

“He’s over here,” I say, and then stop.

An unfamiliar alien hovers motionless in the air above his body. It has a teardrop body and six thick tentacles that float around as if in zero-G. One of its tentacles is wrapped around Slow Learner’s head and two others each hold plasma cannons. I have never seen anything like it.

How did Never Lies know it would come back?

One of the tentacles starts glowing as it reaches down to Slow Learner.

“Hey! Get away from him!” I yell, and shoot it with my multiblaster.

It doesn’t even notice me. Bad Day pulls a flare from his suit and throws it to the ground.

“Here we go,” he shouts to me.

He teleports right next to the creature and blasts it with his pistols as I try my multiblaster again. I use up all eight of my egg cannon bombs, but our attacks splash harmlessly against its shield. We may not have hurt it, but the creature did notice us. It stops its study of Learner and spins all of its tentacles towards us. Bad Day teleports above it and blasts out again, but it seems more curious than worried. It lunges towards him as he lands, and is about to catch him when a salvo of heavy fire hits it right in its center mass. It shrugs off the damage.

This thing is tough!

A salvo of plasma and lasers drive the thing back as Never Lies and the others arrive. Never Lies bombards the creature with her gun platforms while Bad Attitude flanks for an attack. She's holding an enormous axe, but it bounces right off the creature’s tentacles without even scratching them. The color of Never Lies’ weapons changes, and the creature’s shields start to flicker. Pet Shark appears behind the creature, slaps a bomb on its back and lights it. The explosion blinds me and knocks over a handful of trees.

The alien bobs uncertainty in the air, then darts off between the trees before we can react.

“Get it!” yells Never Lies.

We chase the creature through the trees, darting from tree to tree and crashing through branches. Never Lies keeps her fire up even as we race through the forest, but I can’t even shoot my multiblaster in a straight line. My body is wet with rain and sweat, and my breathing is fast and ragged. I do my best to keep up, but it’s hard. Trees explode as we pass, and we are illuminated by fires that flicker briefly before being washed out by the storm.

We lose sight despite our best efforts.

“It’s gone,” says Never Lies curtly.

“Anyone land a tracer?” asks Pet Shark, “none of mine stuck.”

I didn’t think to use a tracer dart, but it wouldn’t have mattered: the alien’s shields were too good.

“What was that thing?” I ask, but no one else has seen anything like it.

“It was important, that’s what it was,” says Pet Shark.

He’s pointing out the obvious, and Never Lies doesn’t need to hear it. I have no doubt that she knows how important this thing was. They snap at each other as we search for any tracks.

My proximity alarm rings out once: bang.

“Hey guys, I just got a sound from my prox alarm,” I say.

They ignore me. Bang.

“Guys?”

Bang. Bang. It’s getting closer, but no one is listening to me. Bang-bang-bang.

“Did you say something, Red Five?” asks Bad Day, but then the others hear it.

“Up there!” calls Bad Day, pointing at a dark shadow in the storm.

It's a deathtower: a five-story high floating tank filled with every kind of killing device and the largest weapon in the saucer's arsenal, far larger than the saucer we were sent to find. My training program told me that it has few weaknesses and I should run if I ever see one. The sight of its turrets and gun ports strikes me with fear. It starts laying down enough fire to level a mountain, and we scatter.

“Get out of here!” Bad Attitude says, pushing me into cover.

Trees burst into splinters as the hunters become the hunted. I see Pet Shark buried beneath a wave of missiles, but he survives and flies into the storm.

Only Never Lies is still fighting back. She aims a salvo of fire at the deathtower, tearing a long hole in its hull as her lasers find its weak points. I've never heard of a single hero taking down a deathtower, but she's doing her best. The tower sends missiles at her, but Bad Day teleports in and grabs her just in time. They work well as a team, Bad Day keeping Never Lies out of danger while she focusses on taking the alien weapon down. Missiles rain down on us, but I shoot most of them out of the sky. I don't think either Bad Day or Never Lies even realize I'm still around; the rest of our team have run.

A plasma ball breaks on my shields as I try to dodge the missiles. Lasers pin me to the ground and beams rip at my shields. Someone grabs my foot and I’m teleported behind a tree.

Bad Day’s armor is blackened and his shields are low, but he gets right back in the fight.

I don’t see what happens next, but I hear a loud bang followed by a spurt of fire into the sky. The deathtower crashes into the forest and explodes. I whoop in excitement as Never Lies lands beside me and punches the air. One of her gun platforms is missing and her helmet is dented, but she’s happy and alive.

They high five, and Day does a victory dance in the air. Never Lies even slaps me on the shoulder.

“That was close, really close. The other two took off and left when they saw what we were dealing with, but you stayed. You should be dead, kid, but you did well.”

We fly over to the ruins of the deathtower to have a look. The storm is fading. Bad Day picks up a gun turret and holds it over his head.

“Pew-pew!” he says.

Never Lies laughs and picks up a sheet of green metal.

“There must be a ton of good stuff in here,” she says, and then freezes.

The strange tentacled alien is watching us from beyond the wreck. It doesn’t flee or make any move to attack.

“Move slowly. Close and capture. We can do this,” Never Lies says.

And my helmet goes bang-bang-bang as a second deathtower drops through the clouds and falls right onto us.

“Go!” yells Never Lies.

Bad Day grabs me and we escape.

“East!” I say, remembering the briefing.

The compass on my arm swings wildly and I can't see the sun. Bad Day grabs me and my stomach lurches as we teleport some distance away from the fight.

“Just go!” he shouts, and disappears again.

Good advice. I fly with the storm at my back. I get pretty lost, so I fly high to find my ride out of here. I see a Comet hovering above the trees near me and circle down to it. Bad Day and the others are already there.

Bad Day is talking urgently into a radio set as I land.

“You’re alive! Any sign of Never Lies?” he asks.

Never Lies arrives a minute later, her suit covered in burn marks and Slow Learner slung over her shoulder. She lands next to the Comet and lowers Slow Learner carefully to the ground. A medic runs over to him and pulls his helmet off.

“He’ll be okay,” the medic calls out, and she nods.

“Gold Storm is inbound,” says Bad Day, “and they want us to leave. Nothing more we could have done.”

Never Lies shrugs angrily and opens her helmet. She led her team where others had feared to go, took on the biggest weapons the enemy could throw at her in the worst conditions possible and led a disciplined retreat without losing anyone. Most superheroes dream of being that good, but I can see by her face that she's furious with herself.

Never Lies climbs into the ranger, powers down her suit and then punches the wall so hard she leaves a dent in the metal.

I know exactly how she feels.