Two.

Awake.

Again.

His alarm clock buzzed like a pillow was on top of it and it had been thrown across the room. A quiet purr was all it made. He sat up, and slapped, quieting the small noise. 8:07 A.M. Suddenly, thoughts came to his head that made him want to scream. Lexa… she’d saved his life. He loved her. She died? He was friends with Pat, and a droid that had tried to rob him. Some bot that protected a laboratory, and Mr. Setsuna had acted like his father. It was… it wasn’t a dream, was it? No. No, it had to be. He was unlucky, but he would never be that unlucky.

Well, today was the day. He looked on his phone where there were quite a few voicemails. Some from work… some others… not that it mattered. He shut his phone and sat down to a milkless cereal. The milk had gone back, and he was forced to throw it out. After having a menial breakfast he shouldered his coat and set out. It was looking to be a regular day, besides his plans of course. Ducking into an alley, he traversed back to his secret place. A place nobody would find him. A place nobody cared to look. He sat at the rusting picnic table and thought. He thought about Suzy leaving him, his job being lost in seconds, his life slowly slipping from his already buttery grip.

It didn’t matter now. He was going to fix it all. Looking over the edge of the overlook, he saw a concrete dumpster area behind a restaurant. If he was lucky, he’d land right between them and nobody would find him for ages. If he wasn’t, he might land in one and survive with a lot of broken bones. But that was a risk he was willing to take. He climbed on the railing and muttered about how insignificant his life had been all along.

And he jumped.

But he did not smell garbage, did not feel concrete on his face. He opened his eyes and Luke saw something strange. A girl was standing over him after she had laid him out on the picnic table.

It… it was the girl from his dream! She existed?!

“Did you really just try to kill yourse-!”

Before she could even finish he was up, and felt her face. She was real. He’d thought that perhaps he was just delirious, or maybe even that he was already dead but no. She was real.

“Y-you’re real. Which means…”

He remembered back to these strange memories, he had loved her, and they had just confessed when she was hit by… by a mining truck. So maybe he just needed to stay away from the roads? It was all happening so fast in his mind that he couldn’t process it. Meanwhile, Lexa was trying to get his attention.

“Hello? Are you ok? Damn I hope I didn’t lose him… Well, as long as I get him to Z-mo it should be fine. What’s your name?”

This he remembered specifically from the dream.

“Luke… uh… Th-thoma-”

“Luka Ta’tama? Weird name, but it suits you. C’mon, let’s go see a friend of mine. He’ll fix you up!”

She took his arm, and her touch felt so familiar. How did he know what would happen next? When they got to the soup shop the same things he expected to happen did. The nice old bot led them down into a laboratory and fitted strange bracelets on him. That’s right… those bracelets had made him levitate right before he woke up. Were they some weird time device? It sounded insane. Almost as insane as knowing exactly what was going to happen next in your life. Still in a daze, he attempted to retrace his steps wherever he went, and say what he thought had been said in his memory. Soon, Lexa was building a bed frame for herself when he slipped up for the first time.

“Do you think time travel is possible?”

“Time travel? Did you hit your head when I pulled you back up from your demise Luka?”

“Well, nevermind, it’s nothing.”

Everything passed exactly as he expected it to. He told her he had bedbugs, and she gave the response that was expected. He went to Mr. Setsuna, and the nice old man gave him a few boxes of food. Pat Tano gave him some sheets to get rid of the mold, and Lexa chastised him for trying to throw his life away when so many cared for him. He thought that the only thing to change would be the ending, so he kept going exactly as it should have been. He was robbed by Crash, Pat Tano came over for a drink and applied the mold sheets, and Mr. Setsuna told him a few things about life. The end was quickly approaching, and it was the day of her death.

He awoke around seven thirty, as expected, and dressed. She stood there ready as well, which didn’t surprise him in the slightest. Lexa opened the door like a servant, and he laughed along with her. On their way though, he couldn’t stop from looking down the street, scared. When they arrived, Lexa pushed the curtain up to allow Luke free passage.

“You know this isn’t necessary right?”

“Of course m’lord!”

“Ugh, hey Z-mo, can you get this girl to stop acting like a servant?”

It was the same. Z-mo’s head popped out and the whirring of his gears was heard.

“You two are getting along better than I’d ever expected! What’s up then?”

“My master here is looking for employment. He wishes to be placed in your care.”

“You want a job hm?”

Once again the robot walked over to a small tablet on a table and crunched some numbers, offering him a decently paying job, and a free meal.

“This time it’ll be perfect!”

But it was only second perfect, according to Lexa. That was only after he asked the question that made Z-mo become stoic though.

They thanked the old bot and walked outside. Luke’s heart was racing. If they turned left, she would die, he’d convinced himself of that over the past week. He couldn’t… no, he wouldn’t see that again. So, taking her arm, he turned right.

“Hey, I kind of wanted to go this way, do you really want to be cooped up in your apartment again?”

“Actually I was hoping to take you somewhere, if you don’t mind.”

“Oh… well lead away your majesty.”

He led her through twists and turns all the way back to the overlook. There, they sat together on the picnic table. He felt safe now. Here, no harm could befall her. She would be safe. So he let himself flow into the conversation.

“Z-mo was pretty scary back there, wasn’t he?”

“Yeah, he actually did the same thing when I asked about them.”

“Wait, you don’t know what they do either?”

“Well no… but I would trust that rust bucket with my life. I’m sure they’re meant to help you in some way.”

“Alright, well that’s comforting.”

“Oh please, he’s rooting for you too.”

Her head knocked against his shoulder lightly and he put his arm around her. He could see the dark flecks of brown in her dark eyes, and she smelled wonderful so near to him. Their lips met, and they held onto each other for a while. When they finally stopped kissing, she leaned her forehead on his and they both said those fateful words again.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

She chuckled, and her head fell into his lap. As it hit his legs, he heard something snap and give way, as one of the picnic table’s rusted legs gave out. They fell together, and when he readjusted himself looked around for her.

That was when he heard it. A crash.

Color draining from his face, he looked over the railing. Somehow, she’d slid off the overhang, and he could see a bloody mass from above.

“No… I did everything right this time! I fucking changed the ending, so why is the outcome the same!!! Why!!!”

He didn’t know what to scream. He’d rolled with the punches all the way, and yet nothing changed. Only the matter in which she died. As he sat there crying, the bracelets forced him up, and his feet left the ground. The last thought he had was of his hopeless situation.

Three.

Awake.

Again.

This time he shot up in bed, completely awake. His alarm clock buzzed the familiar buzz, and he got up quickly. He knew now that it was no dream, yet how could how change it? Nobody would believe him if he walked up to them and said, “Yes hello, I’m a time traveler. Could I have a moment of your time?”, that was insane!

So what could he do? Run? Decide not to kill himself today? No… he just had to roll with it again. He could do it. He could save her. He was an idiot for taking her to the overlook, that was just as dangerous as the streets! But where? He could take her to the deep market. Nothing all that dangerous was there. Just some robot parts, and some nice vendors. In fact, he knew a few of them.

So he went with it again. Pat, Mold, Mr. Setsuna, bed frame, Lexa, Crash, Z-mo. Though he said them in this order in his head, they were sort of switched around. There would be a way to bring Lexa to a safe place, and he could tell her about his feelings another day. Last time he’d just gotten so into it… her life mattered more than a kiss for god’s sake. Plus if he saved her there would be a lot more of that.

Knowing his stupidity, he was actually more upbeat this time. It was obvious what he had to do. So he went with the daily motions. After having a drink with Pat, he went straight to Crash digging through the dumpsters.

“Ah! The human I robbed!”

“Relax, I’m gonna help you find your circuit regulator.”

“How the hell you know that’s what I’m looking for meatbag!”

“I thought you might be, you kind of act off impulse.”

“Oh, I thought you took it… Whatever, just look over there.”

Together they spent the better part of an hour trying to find the thing to no avail, just like usual. He’d been so weirdly arrogant that he’d said a few wrong things, but it was alright. He did that last time too, and everything turned out the same. Little things like this didn’t change anything. He visited Mr. Setsuna, and nothing changed there either. He came to appreciate that the old man specially kept some of Luke’s brand of beer under the counter, and thanked him heartily for it. The old man just smiled and gave him his advice.

“Well son, ya been lookin’ as if you needed help for a pretty damn long time. Why not let her in, huh? What’s the worst that could happen.”

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I can let her in.”

The old man put a hand on his shoulder from across the thin counter and gave him a smile. Luke waved a goodbye and walked back to his apartment. Things even seemed like they were happening better. His upbeat attitude had drastically changed everything. So he went with it again, going to the soup shop and getting the job, yet once again turning right. But this time, he was going to be smart. He ducked down an alleyway, and tended to keep to the sides whenever an old truck passed. They were mostly mining cars, so he made extra sure to keep her safe. At the entrance of the deep market, he took a breath. This would work.

They had fun just like they had the last few times, looking at trinkets, odds, and ends in the large space. Many other people were there as well, some for fun, and others genuinely dealing in robot parts. Normally they had a large trunk being pulled behind them, and would stop for hours looking for the last part in their collection.

“This place is enormous! You never told me about it!”

“Well it isn’t the best place to spend an afternoon, don’t you think it’s a bit loud?”

“So what! It’s cool as hell!”

Yeah, he thought it was pretty neat himself.

Lexa stopped in many of the stalls to look at things, picking up something small here and there. He felt like he had succeeded, it was past either of the times that anything had happened in the last two times, but he still kept checking over his shoulder. Finally, she was tired out, and they sat down at one of the many benches in the middle of the walkway.

“Man, I wish I’d known about this place sooner, it’s way better than the one I was going to show you!”

“Really? It sort of like this one?”

“Yeah, oh but this one has way more cool stuff! I’m glad you thought to bring me here.”

“Of course! Today was going to be a fun one, and I got that job after all. Soon I’ll be able to make enough money to really live again!”

“Don’t think that’ll convince me to get out!”

“I don’t want you to get out Lexa.”

“You want me to stay?”

“I didn’t think I did at first, but I do. I really do.”

She smiled and brought herself closer to him. She smelled amazing every time this happened, and he couldn’t get enough of her scent. Again, they kissed, and he felt as if he’d done it. He’d saved her! And yet again, they said those fateful words.

“I love you.”

She smiled, and looked down in her bag.

“And hey, should you ever want to buy something for me, I’ve got some quick cash right here!”

She pulled out something familiar to him.

“Is that a circuit regulator?”

“Yeah, and the guy over there was selling it really cheap! He must have had no idea what it was!”

“Amazing! That’s a really nice find! You must have an eye for this trading business.”

“You think-”

“HEY! THAT’S MINE!”

Luke barely had time to even react to the voice he’d just heard, but he knew it belonged to Crash. The droid couldn’t control his actions. He knew it.

That was when he heard the gunshot which caught Lexa straight in the head. He’d failed. Why. Why did he fail again. God dammit why!

As she bled out on the ground, Crash picked up the sticky circuit regulator.

“Finally! I been lookin’ forever! Thanks buddy!”

The light had already left her eyes, and he was on the ground again, sobbing. Luke had tried so hard. This was supposed to be the safest place he could possibly find, it had to be, right? Right?!

He took the insane bot by the shoulders and shook him.

“I’d finally done it! You fucking dumbass! Why!”

“Huh? She stole my circuit regulator, and you helped me find it!”

“No. You bastard!”

He shook the bot, but he seemed confused. Not as much as when Luke started to levitate again though.

He didn’t want to go back. He didn’t want to do this all again. He just wanted to be with her!!