《Over & Over》Over & Over: Receive

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Luke arose peacefully to a heavy weight on his chest. For once it didn’t seem to be the burden of society, but it was equally heavy.Cardboard boxes? Well there wasn’t that much room around his apartment, cans littered the floor along with the plastic bags from the few times he did go out to buy groceries. Most of the neighbors called him a shut in, at least ever since he’d become unemployed, and he didn’t really have any way of denying that. Wait, where did the boxes come from…

“Oh you’re finally up!”

The memories of yesterday finally came back. His attempted suicide, the girl that saved him, and… the bracelets from that weird automaton guy. Looking down at his wrists, he realized they were still there… of course. That proves it wasn’t a dream at least.

But wait… why was she still there?

Well, whatever. He got up and sat down at his small wooden table with a glass of potentially dangerous water and turned on his small TV. Nothing different. Just gameshows. The girl was gone, however. Wasn’t she just here?

He simply shrugged as many different thoughts swirled through his mind. She’d even brought the mail in for him. Damn there were bills and now that he didn’t have a job it was going to become increasingly difficult to pay them. He opened up the envelope to see how bad it was this time.

Hmm, they hadn’t gone up for once. Maybe the tenants were finally getting a break from the pay hikes as of late.

He looked at the door. There was no way he was going to be able to gather his courage and even leave the apartment anytime soon, let alone finish himself off. He sighed. A failure, even in offing himself.

He opened up his phone, navigating to the online bank feature. If the rates didn’t go up, he could probably stay here for another two months. So long as he spent responsibly. Maybe he could find a better job by then too. But of course first was the hardest test of all, being able to get out of that door again, to mingle with all the people of the outside world. That was already difficult, and getting a job made it seem impossible. Oh well, he had some time. He just leaned back on his chair and put his feet up.

As he was about to nod off he heard the door slam open and footsteps. Jerking his head to look at the door it was… the girl again. He’d finally started to believe that he had simply gone crazy and yesterday was some big dream of his. If not for the bracelets he might have thought he was completely insane.

“Ahh! Finally time to clean this pigpen!”

“Pigpen?”

He looked around. Yeah there was bags everywhere, empty beer cans littered the floor, and the stench was just about unbearable, but it was better to him than a large empty room. He’d always hated those.

A bigger surprise was why she had come back, and why she wanted to clean the so-called “pigpen”. He did remember her saying something like that last night though. Well, whatever. As long as she didn’t find the mold in the-

“WHAT THE HELL?!”

Yep, there it was.

The landlord said not to let the authorities know or the building would be torn down. Probably a good idea, as almost anyone was accepted as long as you had enough money for the very low monthly rate. Nobody wanted to get kicked out of this haven and sent to the streets as many would be.

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So they lived with just a touch of mold.

Barely caring about her loud voice coming from the other room, he flicked through TV channels with a battered remote.

“Luka there’s mold in here!”

“Yeah, just don’t mess with it.”

He appeared to be taking the fact that a girl was intruding on his home, cleaning, and threatening to live with him very well. After trying to off himself, not much really ruffled him. Lexa continued to clean around the apartment, bustling to pick up his empty beer cans whenever he finished one. Usually he just let them stack up, but this was fine too. There was never anything on TV, but perhaps if he ignored her she would finally leave him alone. He didn’t exactly want to fraternize with the person who prevented him from, uh, ending it all.

Once she was finally satisfied with the cleaning job she had done, Lexa sat down in the other chair at his table, coincidentally the only other chair in his apartment. It isn’t like he could afford one. He’d picked these two up from the dump for god's sake.

Fully expecting it to be six P.M. already, he took at a look at the clock on the TV. It was only two. Lexa had finished cleaning quite a lot faster than he’d expected. He was kind of expecting her to say something but she had her head down on the table, sleeping. Well, at least she wasn’t bugging him. Though he was going to have to thank her for cleaning eventually…

Just then he remembered the boxes that she had set on his chest this morning. In his daze of the regular I-just-woke-up-go-away syndrome, he had shoved them off without looking at the contents. He rose from the chair, but not even this seemed to bug Lexa as she continued to rest there. He went into the bedroom to take a look at the contents. There was wood boards, and some metal bars. Was it a build it yourself coat rack? Eh, whatever, he’d ask her eventually. Maybe she was some sort of missionary that helped the poor.

Luke went back to his bed and laid down, pretty exhausted from a full day of doing nothing. Of course, it wasn’t a full day as it was still about three, but he’d take a nap at least.

A few hours later, he woke up to a soft knocking noise.

“Must just be someone about the bills.”

He muttered to himself as he sat up in bed. He saw movement out of the corner of his eye, and looked over to see that Lexa was hammering boards together with large nails. He looked at the thing she was building… what was it.

“Whats..”

“Oh this? I don’t exactly know you all that well yet, so if you think I’m going to sleep in that cruddy bed with you at night I’ll have to disappoint.”

“You- A bed frame?”

“That is what I meant if you didn’t get it.”

Lexa was a bit more serious about the whole “I’m living with you” thing than he had previously realized. Perhaps the sleep or the beers had numbed him to the situation, but he was slowly growing restless, realizing that a girl was legitly living with him for no reason. None! The worst part was, due to his morals, even if he was trying to off himself, she had saved his life, and cleaning his apartment and building a bed frame made it so he wouldn't be able to say he couldn’t allow it.

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Maybe he could convince her not to live here…

But what was he going to say…

Scratching his head he felt something fuzzy. It was earmuffs. Looks like that was the reason the hammering hadn’t awoken him sooner. At least she cared enough not to try to wake him up.

Even at work Luke had been a nobody. On the production line, most people barely talked in the first place, but a combination of his job and never leaving the apartment besides work had somehow limited both his ability to make friends and boosted his social anxiety to ten.

So he started the conversation as every man should in this circumstance.

“I-I have bedbugs.”

“No you don’t. I already checked. “

What? Checked? How?

“The mold…”

“Can be lived with, I understand.”

“But. I…”

“You were at least decent with conversation yesterday, what’s your problem today? Drunk?”

He couldn’t exactly deny that he was a little buzzed. But it isn’t like that was an uncommon occurrence. It usually happened more than a few times a week at least. However, he wasn’t stupid enough to drink in too much excess, just a buzz here and there.

“Whatever, if you don’t want to talk that’s fine too. Just go back to sleep.”

“Hey, I’m just a little surprised… you’re building a bed frame as if this is permanent.”

“About as permanent as cancer.”

“But cancer can be removed.”

“With way too much painful radiation.”

“Why do you need to live with me…”

At this she turned around and looked him in the eye.

“I’m just here to help.”

“Help what?”

“Help you.”

“Why?”

“Do you need to ask so many questions?”

“If you were in my shoes would you not ask about the cancer, or would you just live with it.”

“Fair enough. Z-mo, the droid we got the bracelets from, was friends with my father. After my parents… left me, he took me in. I still stay there from time to time. He isn’t rich by any means, but staying with him is better than the streets. Z-mo saw you pass by every day, and you always got sadder. Or at least, that’s what his emotional capacitor said. Something like taking images of you every day and seeing the gradual downhill slide you took is what he said. I haven’t exactly been a shining star when it comes to meeting new people and having conversations either, but I’m better than you, and so Z-mo suggested I help you out.”

It was all because of that droid?

“Help me out? Does that ever imply living with me?”

“According to my judgement, it does.”

Luke scratched the back of his head in bewilderment. He wasn’t sure what the hell was going through that girl’s mind, but it seemed to be set on staying there. He didn’t really care anyways. She’d cleaned at least. With any luck she’d just give up anyways. According to what she’d said she didn’t care that much about him, and having to do something based solely off requirement only lasted so long.

He walked out into the kitchen area to get something to eat. By now it was about four and he still hadn’t eaten anything. He was going to have to get used to eating one meal a day until he procured another job.

That was about when he realized that he was out of food… Oh yeah, that was one of the other reasons for yesterday’s event. He sighed and put on his coat and shoes, ready to harsh the dangerous outside world. It wasn’t that he was particularly scared of going out and mingling, he just prefered to be in the apartment.

Alright, he wasn’t going to tell her that he was leaving. He was just going to act like she wasn’t even there. Descending the steps, he acted as if nothing was out of the ordinary, nothing had changed. Pat saw him leaving again, and motioned for him to walk over to where she was at the front of the apartment complex.

“You can take these when you get back, but I got some mold forays. They attack the mold or something? Just put the sheets over it and hopefully that will end the problem. Uh, you can pick them up when you get back too, but you’re leaving?”

“Yeah. Out of food.”

“Where did you go yesterday?”

She was a particularly nosy neighbor, but he wasn’t going to outright tell her that he had gone to… do that.

“I… I went to see a friend.”

At this her mood lightened a little bit.

“Oh you have a friend?”

“Hey…”

“Kidding kidding, just good to see you leaving the apartment is all. Ever since the factory fired you you barely even leave the house for essentials.”

“If I had money for essentials maybe.”

“Well these essential mold killers are free, there’s something right?”

“I’ll pick some up when I get back, thanks Pat.”

“You know you could invite me to beers some time instead of just thanking me.”

“Uh.. Well I-”

“Nevermind, the sheets’ll be here when you get back.”

He decided not to thank her again, seemed like that would be the wrong thing to do. He walked on to the street corner. Around the poorer parts of town like this were street vendors everywhere. They sold doodads and whizpops, anything you might need and everything you don’t. The vendors looked sadder than they’d used to. Luke could remember going to them with his mother as a child. Their wide smiling faces drew you into buying the kite or top they were selling. But now they simply sat and twiddled their thumbs. Kind of like him he supposed.

At the end of the street was the convenience store he always used. He’d come to know the old man well enough, and returning customers were always treated better than new ones in his experience. He walked inside and found some of the instant food he could afford. As he was picking something out, the owner of the shop, Mr. Setsuna, approached him.

“Luke! Good ta see ya! I was just looking fa someone ta take these awf my hands!”

He gestured to a couple boxes in the corner. Inside was some instant food, and even a few bags of dried food, which you could add water to for a full meal. All too expensive for him.

“I’m.. sorry, there’s no way I can afford all that.”

“Oh no, I was gonna have ta throw all this out, so’s I was looking for someone ta take it, care ta bite?”

“Its free?”

“If you can carry it, it’s yours!”

“I can’t… take all this…”

“I’m burnin’ it if ya don’t Luke. Ya gonna take it or it goes ta waste. Im serious, I ain’t givin’ it ta anyone else, don’t want the homeless thinkin I’m givin’ handouts. If ya walk out with all of it they’ll think ya bought it.”

“Well I… Thanks Mr. Setsuna.”

The older man put a hand on Luke’s shoulder.

“It’s no problem Luke, here I’ll string it together for ya. That’ll cost ya a fiver though haha!”

Luke put a five on the table, it was the least he could give for all the stuff.

Mr. Setsuna stringed the boxes together, and sent Luke out, thanking him for taking the excess inventory.

“Now don’t go suin’ me if you’s get food poisonin’’ from that hah!”

“You know I wouldn’t sir, thanks again!”

Luke strode back toward the apartment complex, unable to see in front of him thanks to the towering sustenance in his hands.

Before taking the corner to get back on the road to his place, he felt a soft bump on the front of the boxes.

“Oh.. sorry…”

A head popped out from the side to enter his vision. It was Lexa.

“That man gave you all that food, your neighbor is an extremely nice woman who wants to be your friend and you get a means of removing the mold in your room. Seems like quite a few people want you alive huh?”

She stuck out one of the plastic mold sheets and waved it in his face. He ignored her and kept walking.

“C’mon, all these people think you’re great! Luka?”

He stopped for a second and grabbed the sheet out of Lexa’s hand.

“That sounds like my problem. Maybe I could solve it if there wasn’t so much outside interference.”

“Hey I’m just here to help you.”

“I never asked you to help me.”

“That’s why you need it. Isn’t it?”

He just kept walking, reaching the bottom of the apartments. He walked up the stairs past Pat, grabbed a couple more of the sheets in one hand, and walked inside, Lexa trailing behind him.

Once he got inside, he cut the boxes apart with a dull knife and opened them. There really was quite a feast in there. He was glad he took the stuff…

He thought about all that had happened in the past few days. How did he go from someone with a decent life, to almost offing himself, to living with a woman and receiving a crapload of free food. It was like some sort of book. But he wasn’t going to shove away people who were helping him. Nor did it seem like he could shove off Lexa, but she’d get bored eventually. They usually did at least.

He sorted the food out into perishables and non-perishables, and put them in the fridge. Some of the cucumbers were fairly fresh at least. There was some beer in the other box as well. Maybe he’d offer Pat a drink like she’d mentioned. Well, if the mold thing worked. Lexa was sitting in the other chair, the only other chair, watching him. But as long as he didn’t respond or prod her on, she wouldn’t spout nonsense. That was just how he liked her. She was best when not saying his name wrong and telling him to appreciate things that could be taken away so easily. But maybe he’d deserved an annoying person like her for a while.

Whatever.

It wasn’t as if it really mattered all that much. After his life took a small downward spiral, he really believed the world could easily go on without him, not even a moment of dissidence.

Was that a bad thing? That the world could move on?

No.

No it wasn’t bad at all.

After being all philosophical while looking into his coffee cup, his gaze came back up to Lexa who was staring at him strangely. Probably had made some faces while he was sitting there.

But then she piped up.

“You really need to get out and do something, you know that right.”

“What should I do then.”

“Anything? You could find some friends, go to a bar, get smashed, come back at two A.M. doesn’t that sound fun?”

He didn’t even feel as if he really needed to say no to that, so he took a sip of coffee.

“Ooorrrr you could always go to the fireworks.”

He stopped sipping for a second. The fireworks? Been awhile since he’d gone to that. It wouldn’t be awful if he just showed up for a while would it?

Lexa saw that little bit of interest in his eyes, and quickly jumped on it.

“So that’s a yes then?”

“What? I never said-”

“What should I wear? I kind of only have a couple things you know.”

She walked into her room and came out wearing a slightly cleaner pair of clothes, took his hand, and dragged him outside.

“Hey wait why are we going?”

“I’m getting you out of the house idiot.”

“We still barely know each other and you’re treating me like a husband!”

“You really think I could get you out here if I didn’t?”

“Fair point…”

He decided to just go with it. For now. He hadn’t been to a firework show since… it’s been a while.

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