《Over & Over》Over & Over: The Beginning of the End
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Awake.
Again.
His alarm clock buzzed like a pillow was on top of it and it had been thrown across the room. A quiet purr was all it made. He sat up, and slapped, quieting the small noise. 8:07 A.M. Instantly, the same thoughts as usual came to his head. The daily agenda. Today, they differed a bit though.
He walked to his kitchen, just a doorway away, and sat down to a bowl of dry cereal. The milk had gone bad so he was forced to make due with what he had. Finally, he looked at his phone and saw that there were twenty new messages. He scrolled through them relatively fast. Thirteen were from his workplace… five from his landlord…. One from an unknown caller and… one from his old girlfriend. It wasn’t as if she was worried about him, she probably forgot something at his apartment before she left.
He just sighed and shut his phone, putting on his old coat and stepping out into the day. It was cloudy. Good. He stepped onto the stairs and heard their familiar creak, signaling to everyone in the building that someone was leaving. Pat Tano stuck her head out of one of the windows and looked at him leaving. She wasn’t sure of exactly what to say, and just studied him as he left. She was worried about him.
He moved into a darker side of town, somewhere he had always been prone to visiting at times like this, when he was at the end of his rope (metaphorically speaking) when he just needed to go somewhere and think. Think about life, about everyone and everything that was on his mind.
His special place was somewhat hard to find, marking it as a place that only he really knew about. Other people stayed away because of the large amount of graffiti on the walls, but he knew that the alley he was taking led to a nice place to just sit and think. Crawling through a hole in the concrete wall led to an overlook which saw almost the entire city. Those living in the outer layers knew nothing of the wealth within the city, it was almost as if they were two towns separated by a forcefield. You were rich, or you were poor. Those two things didn’t mix.
He sat down at the picnic table which had just a little bit too much rust on it and put his hand to his chin. Now that he had arrived could he do what he had set out to? He wasn’t sure. So he thought. He thought and he thought as he always did when he was here.
He thought about Suzy leaving him because he wasn’t making enough money, cutting off their relationship that seemed based around money instead of love.
He thought about his parents, living out in the country, who kicked him to the city because they thought he could be more successful than them, yet didn’t care what happened to him afterwards.
He thought about his job at the steel production factory. Steel was ever needed to make the skyscrapers in the middle of the city, and yet the workers there were paid barely enough to buy bread on.
But this was his world.
No complaints, or you would be cast to the curb, just like him.
He got up to go look over the railing at the city below. It was bright, it looked like a future, a tangible good in the world. In reality, that brightness was simply a dark truth covered in bright tin foil, the city was actually a beast which would eat you up and spit you out without a second thought. Then move on to the next victim.
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He looked down at the area directly below as well, beneath him was a large concrete opening, which lay behind a small store. There were dumpsters back there as well, full to the brim.
If he was lucky he would just hit right between the two dumpsters where nobody would ever even find him.
He stood up on the railing, and said the prayer that his mother had told him so many years ago. It was right after his uncle had died. He remembered it like it was yesterday. He had fallen off the top of a grain silo and broken his neck. At least it was swift.
Perhaps he had meant to die from a fall just like his uncle, subconsciously. His hands were sweaty, and it was hard to hold onto the railing backwards. He would not be the kind of man to look back right at the end. There was no guardian angel there to save him. There never was.
One last time. He looked down. Closed his eyes.
Then he jumped.
He felt concrete, but there was no pain. The smell of garbage was not there. He scrambled to get up, but hit his head on the picnic table. Was he really back on the overlook? He was sure he had jumped. He was sure. He looked at the edge, but it looked no different than it usually did.
That was when he heard a voice. It was soft.
“Did you really just try to kill yourself?”
He looked back. She was younger than him, it seemed, with big brown eyes and short brown hair. She was a little lacking in the chest department, but her large ass made up for it. But wait… why was he thinking about that now? What happened?
“But… I jumped.”
“Yeah. You did. I had to go into overdrive to save your dumb ass.”
“My what?”
“You.. I… Ugh, just be glad I got there in time will you? Are you ok?”
“I didn’t jump to end up being “OK” you know.”
“Well that’s good at least, what is your name?”
“My name? Luke..uhh… T-Thoma-”
He was a little thrown off by being asked his name after not only trying to kill himself, and being saved, but also having such a… weird conversation with someone after said incident.
“Luka Ta’Tama hmm? A strange name, but it fits you nicely.”
“Wait that isn’t my-”
“Is there any particular reason you tried to do what you just did?”
“Well yeah there’s loads of reasons but my name-”
“A reason to kill yourself would have to be pretty big don’t you think Luka?”
“How about nobody caring if you live or die? Getting thrown to the curb countless times? Not everyone has the easy road.”
She looked at the ground sadly. Perhaps he touched a nerve? She seemed like she had the easy life just by looking at her, nice clothes and well kept hair were very telling of a person’s societal status.
“Eh… You have no idea… Anyways! I’m taking you with me.”
“What?!”
“Yep, we’re going to see Z-mo to fix you up.”
“What, do I have a problem?”
“Obviously, you’re one of those gross pessimists.”
“Gross? Well yeah maybe… wait who is Z-mo?”
“You’ll find out!”
She then grabbed his sleeve and proceeded to drag him along with her, away from his probable grave. He thought that this was just momentarily stopping the inevitable, but all his courage was gone for the next few days anyways. This would be a good reminder of why trying to change his mind wouldn’t work.
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They exited the alley into a throng of people that barely even took the time to look at them, weird uncommon things to the rich would be normal to their class of folk. She dragged him on and on, his pants getting thinner by the second, before he finally yelled at her that he would follow her if she stopped dragging him.
“You won’t run?”
“If you stop dragging me I’ll do anything…”
“Maybe perk up a bit?”
“Don’t push it.”
She let him up and he followed, a little annoyed. She was talking about something equally so when he decided to lose her, ducking into a small group of miners sipping coffee. She just kept walking until he could no longer see her. He had lost sight of her for a millisecond and she was gone? He looked around ducking down further to avoid being seen. He was annoyed, however, to feel an elbow leaning on his head.
“Finished yet?”
“Ugh.... You could at least tell me where we’re going.”
“Z-mo’s. I told you already.”
“That tells me nothing! Who the hell is Z-mo?”
“He’s a professor! Well, kind of. He was? He’s a scientist. Yeah let's go with that.”
That comment did not stop his feelings anxiety as they moved ever closer and to their destination.
“It’s the first place on the left.”
She had a grave look on her face at this point, and he was prepared to be pummeled by some gang overlord named Z-mo or something. They turned the corner, coming face to face with the most normal roadside soup shop he’d ever laid eyes on. Looked like they sold ramen. He got all worked up about that?
“C’mon, let’s go in!”
They ducked under the short curtain and sat down at the counter waiting to be served. At the end of the table were two men, talking to a large robot who laughed along with them after some sort of joke was made. He wore an apron and had some sort of lab coat underneath. Was some glitched out robot the “scientist professor thing” she had talked about?
“Lexa! Hello! Welcome back, how long has it been?”
“Been a month if it’s been anything Z-mo! How’s the shop?”
“Running beautifully! Though finding the perfect ramen recipe through science is proving harder than I had previously thought…”
“Finding what?”
At this point, Z-mo noticed that the shady looking guy in his shop was with Lexa. She pushed him forward.
“This is Luka Ta’Tama.”
“My name is not-”
“Luka! How are you?”
“What? I’ve never seen you in my life.”
“Yet I have seen you! Walking to that abysmal job every day for the past four years! Is it not tiring?”
“You saw me?”
“Of course! Out of all the men from that factory that walk by here every day you are the only one that has never given me the pleasure of having you in my shop.”
He looked at Z-mo like he was some sort of madman, and a short tense air came around them. This was quickly broken by Lexa however.
“I actually need to get down in the lab! Your new model is done yeah?”
“I’ve been up to a lot, it would not surprise me if I finished it!”
“You aren’t sure if one of your own projects is finis-”
Luke was cut off as Lexa and Z-mo continued to talk, walking through the doorframe and into a small cottage. The only strange part was that there was no workshop. No tools. If this thing was an inventor, where were the gadgets?
“Where is everything?”
At this Z-mo turned around, cogs spinning.
“Why sometimes you just have to slow down my boy!”
Lexa laughed at the awful pun as the robot pulled his arm off, inserted it into a small hole, and pulled with the other. A tatami mat moved aside, and revealed a small staircase.
“Come now, let us go see “everything”.”
Z-mo led the way into a small cramped tunnel, which led to a metal door. Along the way he explained that this was an abandoned military facility. For some reason they had wanted one out in the boonies years ago, but as the city grew they were forced to move it further out of town, leaving this one behind in its entirety. Underground and forgotten.
Once again taking his arm off, which appeared to be the master key, an old door was opened, leading into a large metal room. It was actually quite bright down here, and there were many things covered with sheets lying about. Metal legs, and even different parts of androids were strewn in the mix of throw aways.
“Alright Lexa, what were you looking for exactly?”
Searching through the newer gadgets, she was able to find what she had been looking for.
“Metal bracelets?”
Z-mo’s fans whirled into something like a laugh, and took them from Lexa.
“So he’s like that, is he? Ha. HA!”
He took the metal rings and walked towards Luke.
“Alright Mr. Ta’Tama, these are quite comfortable, just try them on!”
“I would much rather know what they are first.”
“Erm… They open your senses to the world around you, make you truly feel what this world is, with all six senses!”
“Six?”
But it was too late. Small robotic arms came out of the robot and clamped the rings on his arms, legs, even neck and torso. He was right about one thing though, they werw slightly comfortable.
“Keep these on for… well until I want them back I suppose, or until Lexa wants me to take them off. Not that you can take them off yourself haha!”
“Hilarious.”
Tugging at the rings he looked to Lexa, who had seemed to want this the whole time. Why had he agreed to follow her…
“I think they look dashing to be honest.”
“What!? Metal bracelets?!”
“Rings Luka. They will help you, promise.”
“Well… it isn’t as if I can take them off anyways…”
“That’s the spirit!”
More groaning wouldn’t get him anywhere so he allowed her to lead him out of the facility. Z-mo followed close at hand, and soon they were back in the living quarters section of the roadside ramen shop.
“I have some customers to attend to, but it was a pleasure seeing you Lexa, stop by again soon!”
“Course!”
She waved at the rust bucket and they were soon back on the bustling road.
“Can I go home then…”
Luke was still annoyed, her complete optimism and childlike love of everything was annoying him. He just wanted to go home and listen to the angry voicemails he had received.
“Where do you live?”
“Wha what…”
“Where. Do you. Live?”
“I’m not going to tell you that... “
“Guess I’ll just follow you till you get tired and go then.”
“God help me.”
“Sorry, you already threw him away.”
Gone was the air of a child that he felt from Lexa up until now. Her eyes stared at the ground with a foreign intensity, and her voice was void of all emotion, save regret. This version of her might have actually been hot to him had he not just been backhanded by that comment.
“Not going to lose you, am I.”
“Never.”
He was continually surprised by her comments, but felt as if he had lost their little argument, and started walking back towards his apartment. She followed a few steps behind, still looking a little serious. At times, he snuck a look back at her, but she still wasn’t changing. Finally, hands in pockets, he reached his rusting apartment building. Pat had already gone to bed, and he quietly walked up the stairs, careful to not annoy his neighbors. One last look back made him realize that she was coming in with him. He hadn’t had a guest since Suzy left, much less a girl, and was a little embarrassed at how dirty it was. He mumbled an apology and swept his hand out as if to say “make yourself at home”. She simply took off her coat and sat down.
“Nice place.”
“Really anything is good enough for me.”
“Quality isn’t very high up on the list is it?”
“No, but manners are. It isn’t as if I can afford a better place… especially after I quit…”
“Well, I’ll help you clean it up tomorrow.”
“You’re joking.”
“What? I’m just helping you out.”
“Not that, you’re staying here?”
“I said I wasn’t going to leave you didn’t I?”
“Well.. I…”
“That doesn’t mean I’m just going to be a lazy bum all day Luka.”
“For the last time my name isn-”
“So I’ll help you clean at least!”
“Ugh… Fine…”
Defeated, he retreated into his room. Hopefully she would realize there was only one bed in the place and leave if he fell asleep quickly. If she was trying to help him she wouldn’t wake him up now would she? He jumped into bed and tried to act like he was asleep as soon as possible. A few minutes later he heard the toilet flush, and the door to his room opened. A few footsteps later, he felt her sit down beside him. She stretched out, back towards him, and let out a long sigh, getting comfortable. Thoughts raced through his head. She was just going to sleep with him? What the hell?! Even though he was surprised, it had still been a long day and he fell asleep quickly.
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