《The Fat Prince: The Orc Princess》Chapter 5: The Princess of Silver Waters

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”Hey Archibald, Antonio, Oga,” Cyrus shouted. “We’re back.”

“Oh thank the creator,” Archibald said as he ran up to them. “We thought the evil in the woods sucked your spirit out.”

“What kind of namby pamby elf lore is that?” Oga asked, crossing her arms. “They just ate those rainbow weeds and went off to happy land!”

“Rainbow rhubarb,” Archibald said, plucking it off the ground.

He shivered. “Never again.”

“We met this weird wizard in there,” Cyrus asked. “He was really strange, but his rambling made more sense the longer we were there.”

Archibald frowned. “So you met my old master, Roy G. Bivion. Probably as loony as ever. I vowed never to talk to him again until he stopped making people eat rainbow rhubarb. That stuff is dangerous.”

“Uh muchachos,” Antonio said in a high pitched voice. “What’s wrong with Vanessa?”

Van stood with a wide grin plastered on her face. Her eyes were still glazed over with rainbows. Oddly emotional, Antonio rushed over to her and started waving his arms in front of her face. Vanessa just grinned and waved her hand back. “Hi there, I’m a rainbow. I love to wave my colors around too.”

“I know,” Cyrus said and his head sunk. “I wish I hadn’t convinced her to eat that.”

Antonio ran over to Cyrus and grabbed him. He began to shake the young prince frantically by the scruff of his tunic. “You did what to her?! I know we’re friends now Cyrus but what you did is unforgivable.”

Archibald put his hand on Antonio’s shoulder. “How about we get our little knighty some help instead of turning on each other. Besides, you’re showing an awful lot of concern for someone you don’t care about.”

Antonio turned aside with his arms crossed. He swung his hair over his shoulder. “I don’t care about her. We’ve already established mi corazon is as cold as ice.”

“Law of Romance #258: Frosted hearts melt easier than regular hearts,” Archibald remarked. “ But in any case, it’s best we find a way out of here. All of us went off in different directions, but we all ended up back here. It seems this illusion is perfect.”

“A perfect illusion is just a delusion,” Cyrus muttered to himself. “We just need to find the hole in it.”

Blinded by rainbows, Van walked towards the hollowed-out log and tripped over it. Everyone gasped as she fell through the hole despite it being much smaller than her. Every person in the party was shocked, but the prince himself. He knew the crazy, old wizard’s twisted proverb rang true.

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“The hole in the illusion!” Cyrus exclaimed. “Everyone jump inside! It’s our way out of the illusion.”

Following Van’s lead, everyone took turns jumping through the stump. Cyrus slid and tumbled through a purple void before he was spit out through another stump with a loud belch. The prince tumbled through the leaves and stopped on his back. He looked up, realizing his party was about mile from a village surrounded by towering trees. The trees rose high enough to touch the night sky and gave the surrounding area a cavernous feel. The buildings in the distance were unusual architecture for Aristillus- tall stone spires with wood platforms spiraling around them and fitted with elegantly bright circular windows. They stood nearly as high as the mighty pines and glowed warmly in the dark of night.

Archibald was the first to stand up. He turned around to look at his comrades with a big smile on his face. “Wow, I love how our knighty is always looking out for us even when she’s suffering from rainbow blindness.”

Yeaahhh…” Cyrus and Antonio both sighed with smiles on their faces before Archibald winked at them and they quickly shook their heads and stood up.

When they got to their feet, they helped Van up too. She had gone mostly silent except for a bit of giggling. Her unreal eyes brightened the dark surroundings around them.

Oga lead the way to the village. “So, my ugly, warty orc,” Archibald started. “Have you gathered any intel on these elves before we raid them?

Oga’s eyes widened and a big fanged smile came over her face. “Of course, I know everything about these snobby knobby elves. What would you like to know?”

“Anything really,” Archibald responded. “Just what they’re like. I’ll admit I haven’t met many elves and I’ve traveled to all the continents.”

“Well,” Oga growled. “They’re not fun. Nothing about them is. Not the way they act or the food they eat. Everything about them is so boooooring.”

“What do they eat?” Cyrus asked.

The young prince was curious; he knew he’d probably have to eat some of their cuisine. He desperately hoped that rainbow rhubarb wasn’t their main delicacy.

“Elves eat ve-ge-tables!” Oga snarled “BLEAH. We orcs, on the other hand, will tear out your spleen and eat it for breakfast.”

”Sounds tasty,” Archibald said. “I could go for an elf spleen right about now.”

”They’re also really stuffy,” Oga exclaimed. “They think, ‘We’re the protectors of the rivers.’ But did the rivers personally contact them and ask for protection? Nope! They just do it themselves because it makes them feel better about themselves.”

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“Typical ego-centic busybodies,” Antonio said smirking as he carefully guided Van along.

“Let me give you some orc wisdom,” Oga said. “Elves are like trees. They live incredibly long, stay in one place and are as interesting as a block of wood.”

“Sounds like conquering these elves are going to be a piece o’ cake,” Archibald said with a thumbs up.

Oga’s eyes shone brightly and she pumped her arm in the air. “Right, orc comrade!”

They reached a white spire gate where elegant patterns were woven into the steel tapestry, and Oga quickly changed her demeanor. “Wait, they can’t see me! They can’t know I’m here.”

The little elf quickly jumped in the bushes. “You guys infiltrate the elves village. Gain their trust. Then I’ll meet up with you and we can plot their destruction from the inside.”

“You got it, orc leader,” Archibald said with a salute as they approached the gate keeper.

The gate keeper was a tall, tan-skinned elf. He wore an odd aquamarine helmet with three tops and holes for his long tanned ears to stick out. Like Oga, he was very toned and tattoos twisted around his perfectly shaped body. An armored crop top showed off his abdominal muscles to the party and Cyrus was amazed. You could grate cheese on those abs and the young prince wished he had abs for specifically that purpose…and Trinity. The guard came to greet the four travelers with a stern but calm face.

“Whoa,” Archibald said looking over the guard’s midriff. “All the legends were right. You guys are cut.”

The guard quickly broke his stern look. “Aw thank you. It’s a wonder what an all-vegetable diet and pilates will do for you…Uh I mean, who goes there?”

”We are humans from the kingdom of Aristillus,” Archibald said, sounding strangely professional. “We are seeking your aid because one of our friends has fallen ill.”

“Please save her,” Cyrus pleaded. “She ate some rainbow rhubarb and is blinded by it.”

The guard’s face retained the same stern calmness. “We do indeed have an panacea for that…but we do not let humans in our village; a recent tragedy has occurred. There was a kidnapping of one of our own at the hands of a human...A small child.”

Everyone’s faces illuminated with new wisdom. Cyrus wondered if they were referring to Oga. Archibald smiled. “Well, we may have a lead on that. Please let us in and use your hospital. Then I will provide you with some knowledge. I think it’s a fair trade.”

“I don’t have any reason to trust you,” the guard said. “But since this is an emergency and we can’t leave our village due to illusionary magic. I have no choice.”

“Thank you,” Archibald said. “We also solved your little illusion problem. Just took a bit of out-of-the-box thinking…or should I say out of the stump.”

Van was taken inside one of the tall spires where an old elven nurse placed her in a fluffy cot. The hospital room itself was cozy, yet majestic. The wooden beams glowed a beautiful white and the floors were made of smooth cobble stone. A small, singular window overlooked the dark greens of the nighttime forest.

“Here you go,” the nurse said, and she fed Van a bubbling white elixir from a jar.

“I call this “Elfzer,” the nurse said as she laughed at her own joke, “and it helps people come off of rainbow rhubarb,.”

The rainbows quickly drained out of Van’s eyes. Cyrus was delighted to see those beautiful chestnut eyes return to her soft face.

“Where have I been?” she asked woozily.

“Let’s just say you were taking a magic rainbow ride,” Archibald responded and he laughed.

“Was that another magic trick?” she asked. “Ugh foul trickery. I hate it so much!”

“I’m just happy you’re safe,” Cyrus said and he squeezed Van’s warm hand.

The door creaked open. Antonio walked in from using the bathroom and exclaimed, “Aye! it’s a miracle! Vanessa, you’re back to normal”

He ran up to the bed with a wide grin on his face.

“Yeah, no thanks to you,” Van said coldly.

Cyrus could swear he saw Antonio’s tanned face turn a sickly pale for a second before he faced away from her with a bitter expression. He quietly muttered to himself and stood alongside Archibald.”I’m so glad I’m back,” Van said relaxing in bed. “I’m hungry! But please, no more rainbow rhubarb.”

Everyone laughed and the nurse lifted her finger with a smile. “Don’t worry, sweetie, I’ll get you some carrot cake!”

“Yes please!” Vanessa exclaimed, her face beaming.

The nurse left the room and the window shattered with an arrow. Everyone drew their weapons; but when Oga climbed inside, they all relaxed.

Oga was still sharp and caustic. “What are you doing orc comrades? A true orc always leaves the wounded to die and continues fighting. That is how we conquer so many villages and…”

The gray haired elven nurse dropped her plate when she saw the young elf girl. “My word…” She gasped, holding her heart. “Aya, the crown princess of Silver Waters has returned!”

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