《Fast Food in Another World》Chapter 7
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“The longer I live, the less I seem to know.”
It’s a somewhat well known quote where I come from. If my high-school history teacher wasn’t lying to me and if my memory isn’t playing tricks on me, the quote is credited to one John Adams, a freedom fighter, back from the days when calling United States “united” was done with a fair share of sarcasm. It was a longer, more poetic and flowery quote in the beginning, but as it happens with these kind of things, this is what’s left of it. The part that stuck.
It’s very fitting right now.
As I’m being led forward by the crowd surrounding me, I walk without a destination in mind. Rather the destination isn’t up to me. On the upside, getting out of that damp cave really put things in perspective.
For one thing, being surrounded by a thousand full body armor wearing knights, I consider a possibility of this not being a prank. Let’s be honest here, I’ve seen some dedicated pranksters, but recreating a medieval world for the sake of a prank, seems a bit far fetched. I’m still not completely convinced of anything, but for now I choose to keep an open mind.
Which brings me back to my initial point. The more I discover, the more confused I get. If this is real… Too many questions rush to my head all at once. Only one of them stands out the most:
Why me? Why did this had to happen to me?!
I don’t particularly stand out, I’m not very outgoing, but I’m not antisocial either. I’m not good looking, nor am I bad looking. Average. Just plain average.
So why the hell did this thing had to happen to me?
I’m not a NEET, nor am I an ‘Otaku’. Aren’t those kind of people usually the ones to get transported to fantasy worlds? I don’t need a power trip, nor am I starved for wish-fulfillment, so why me?! I have responsibilities back at home, you know!
“Aili, are you feeling well? Walking must be tiring in your condition,” I hear a familiar voice call out my name.
“I’m fine, Sir Jerome, thank you for your concern.”
“You don’t have to call me Sir, just Jerome is fine. Besides...”
A large man walking next to me is princess’ guard - Jerome van Bilderhog. Unlike the King’s knights that came to our rescue, our foursome from the cave were walking on our feet. For one thing, their commander, Sir Kelbert, seemed to show hostility towards these knights. No matter how you look at it, forcing them to walk several miles to the campsite wasn’t just tiring, it was humiliating. Needless to say, the princess was riding in a carriage specially prepared for her. Even if Kelbert didn’t show royal respect towards her, he couldn’t force a royalty walk and get away with it.
“Besides, I am not even a knight, so calling me ‘Sir’ is a bit much,” Jerome finished. His eyes jumped around and settled up ahead. This wasn’t a pleasant topic for him.
“I didn’t realise, my apologies,” I try to sound casual. “Then, I shall call you Jerome.”
“That is the name that my mother gave me, and it’s the greatest title a man can have,” Jerome cheered up a little and sent a little smile my way.
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Now that I think about it, the relationship between Jerome and the others didn’t seem natural. He got along fine with Albert, there was some tension with Renig, but that probably has more to do with Renig just being Renig. But when it comes to the princess, not once did she look at Jerome.
She seems to be an outgoing, kind young lady. She interacts properly with Renig, I even saw her engage in small talk with Albert. Not to mention she took care of me and had even shown interest in getting to know me. But when it comes to Jerome, not once did she look him in the eye.
Was it because of his status?
That’s probably not it. For all she knew I could have been a commoner. There seems to be more to it. Like how Jerome refers to her ‘Your Majesty’.
My knowledge when it comes to these kind of things is rather limited, but I’m fairly certain ‘Your Majesty’ is what you would call a Queen. There really seems to be more things going on, but Jerome doesn’t seem excited to talk about it. Not to mention the whole thing hardly concerns me.
“Then Jerome, where exactly are we going right now?”
“We are going to a small town called Calvenbosch, that is where princess’ attendants are waiting for her return.”
“Did you separate while on the run from the Germanians?”
“Of course not. You wouldn’t expect a princess to bring her maids to a negotiation. The entourage stayed behind in Calvenbosch, while the princess with her most elite guards proceeded to Turen.”
“So that’s how it is...”
“You didn’t actually think that the princess was traveling with just the three guards?”
“Well...”
“Buahahahhaha!” Jerome laughed merrily at my misunderstanding making unfriendly eyes turn our way.
“So… How far is this Calvenbosch?” flushed, I try to change the subject.
“About half a day away, I’d say.”
“H, half a day?!”
“Yes, pretty lucky that it’s so close.”
Of course he would think half a day on your feet is “close”. But for someone who spends all day every day sitting down it might as well be suicide. We’ve been walking for a couple of hours and I can barely move my legs as it is… If they consider half a day close, they wouldn’t plan on getting there without resting?
“So you weren’t fine after all...” Jerome concluded. “You look like you are about to collapse. It’s fine if you want to take a short break.”
How can that be fine? Cust as he was saying that a couple of disdainful looks were thrown our way from the knight’s riding the horses. Of course they’d be looking down on my weakness, but asking them to stop because of me was a bit much… Let’s not forget that my goal here is to attract as little attention as possible.
Though, guess I’m failing pretty hard at that so far…
“No, I can still walk...” I really don’t want to attract the wrath of that Kelbert fellow.
“If you say so… We will be stopping soon either way, even the horses need to rest once in awhile.”
Having to rely on horse’s endurance isn’t something I would normally do though it seems I might have little choice this time around. But then again, it’s not like a horse can go on for that long, right?
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“That’s right. I heard Her Majesty made you her personal cuisiner,” Jerome began, once we sat down for a rest.
After about six hours of walking I couldn’t feel my legs. At first they started aching, after that they went numb, but as we continued going the pain returned with interest and then, right before we stopped my legs became insensate again.
“Surely, I have to say. The potatoes that you have prepared were in fact exquisite,” Albert added.
The four of us were sitting on a log at a side of the road. Or, rather, the three of them were, I, for one, lying stiffly on the ground, trying my best to regain the feeling in my legs.
The rest of the King’s knights were happily snacking on dried meat and bread they were carrying. Needless to say, they weren’t going to share their food with us, leaving us to share a sack of water.
On the upside, at least I was feeling horrible enough to not feel hunger.
“Ah... ”
That’s right… By some means my life, that became crazy enough as it was, managed to take another turn for the weird. I somehow managed to be named a personal chef for a princess. Not only am I failing to figure out the situation I am in, my plan to stay out of sight isn’t working so well either.
“That seems to be the case...” I answer, hopefully not looking too depressed.
“Don’t get too full of yourself, drowner” Renig’s stern voice shoots me down immediately.
“Surely he may feel proud, commander. Being named personal cuisiner to Her Highness is a big honor.” Albert defends me.
There’s no way I was looking happy while saying that and I most definitely wasn’t feeling happy.
“Let me tell you just one thing, drowner,” Renig stares straight at me with a piercing look. “You better be as good as you think you are. Or else it’s your head that’s going to roll.”
“That’s true. The princess is very fastidious when it comes to food.”
“How many cuisiners have she dismissed already? It has to be at least twenty this year alone...”
“None of them had their heads cut off. Not for the lack of effort on the princess’ part, though.”
“That’s only because that chef was the King’s personal cuisiner. If he wasn’t, surely his son would be an orphan by now.”
“That being said, it is odd for the princess to pick a cuisiner for herself. It’s like she had lost all hope to find someone who could suit her tastes.”
“And that is why you better be thankful, drowner. It is an immeasurable honor to be chosen personally by the princess herself to cook her meals, so you better know what you are doing, for your own good. Though if it were up to me, I would have left you on the beach...”
“So… The princess really is a picky eater, huh?” Ignoring the tightness in my stomach, I finally muster a few words together.
“Picky?” Jerome considers it for a moment. “I would not say so. Rather, her tastes are refined. Do not forget, Her Majesty is the first princess, the daughter of the King. Her meals are cooked by the best cuisiners in the land, she tasted all of the most delicious meals this world has to offer. That is why her finding a dish that she hasn’t tasted yet is so unexpected. Or rather, it is more unexpected that a cuisiner as talented as you and a dish as appetizing as your potatoes managed to escape the sights of the royal palace...”
“And to think that it was something as simple as potatoes...” a soft, dreamy voice sounded from a side.
“Your Majesty!” Jerome jumped up immediately.
In fact, everyone around us was standing up, the only ones who remained seated until now were only Jerome and myself, even though “sitting” might be a bit too generous to describe my position. Just like Jerome was all too excited to share his knowledge about the princess, I was too overwhelmed about the shocking revelations, to actually notice the approaching princess.
Everyone else, including the King’s knights, were standing up, paying their respects to a member of a royal family. Even though our rescuers were less than welcoming to us, they couldn’t ignore the presence of a princess. As a matter of fact, the way things were, I was the only one still seated. Again, slugging like a spineless worm might be a better description, but let’s stick to “sitting” for now.
“Your Highness,” I stood up and bowed as gracefully as my shaking legs would let me. Which is to say not very... Now that I think of it, I have probably bowed more times in the past 24 hours than in my entire life before today.
“It is true, I have never tasted quite anything like that before,” the princess said happily. “It was said many times already, but it is nothing like the food you can get in the palace. It truly must be faith, that we have met, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Of course, Your Highness. I am immensely humbled by the opportunity, even though I am really not worthy...”
Unless opening a bag of chips was considered an achievement here, I really wasn’t worthy.
“Nonsense. I had chosen you myself, are you saying that I lack in judgement?” the smile on her face was as bright as it was before. Was she being serious or was she just joking around? I really couldn’t tell.
“... Of course not.”
“Of course not. Then, would you accompany me in my carriage?”
“It would be my honor,” a bit surprised I managed a response.
The invitation was of course a masterfully crafted order, so I had no way of refusing. Not that I would anyway. If I get lucky, I could get invited to spend the rest of the journey in the carriage, which would mean less walking for me.
“There is no need to accompany us, Sir Renig. We can find the way ourselves,” she shut him down immediately. Clearly not wanting to leave the princess alone with me, he prepared to go with, before he got told not to.
Looking severely unhappy, Renig sent a look my way that was clearer than any words he could’ve said.
"As you please, Your Highness," he agreed respectfully, sending another shiver down my spine.
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