《BEAST》Arc in Review: Prologue Arc (This is not a new chapter)
Advertisement
Hey all! So this isn't a new chapter but a personal arc-in-review. I wanted to do this to really look at my work, as the author, from the most objective lens I can. Of course, that doesn't mean that there won't be any personal bias or subjective views, but hopefully by talking about my own short-comings, thought processes and other things, I can hope to catch things that I can improve on in the future!
Before moving forward, I wanna give a huge thank you to all the people following the story. Beast has steadily been growing in audience and I'm extremely grateful that people are enjoying the story that I'm wanting to tell. I also want to give a special shoutout to SWKennington, Magicgearhulk, and the_random_user for voicing their criticisms as it has helped me tremendously with both boosting my drive to improve as a writer and to focus on the weaker elements of my story. So, once again thank you to everyone who has been reading BEAST and hopefully I can continue to deliver a narrative that people can enjoy reading.
I wanna start off by talking about the positives mainly because I personally feel like there are more negatives than there are positives to come from this prologue arc. I don't want to necessarily excuse errors in my writing by saying that I'm a novice writer and am still working on building my style and improving my narrative structure and content. However, I do feel like I should preface that information before moving forward.
But with that being said; let's talk pros.
When I first was brainstorming the idea for Beast, I really drew inspiration from Bloodborne and a lot of the different anime that I've watched over the past few years. And I think that the prologue chapter really captured the tone of the narrative that I wanted to push for, while not setting it in stone. While I wanted to push forward a darker tone, I still wanted to maintain leeway for light-hearted moments to shine through without making it feel jarring or illogical. While I don't think the execution of this was perfect, I think that there were a lot of moments that worked. Especially upon entering the academy.
Another thing that I personally thought was okay was the character dynamic and flow of dialogue. I spent a lot of time editing character dialogue and attempting to put an individual voice to each character. While at times I found the dialogue I was writing to be stiff, for the most part, I wanted to approach it from the perspective of making it believable. The conversations between Klaus and Jean, I think are a really good way to kind of explain my thought process. In the initial chapters, there was a familial tone that I wanted to bring to the relationship between those the two characters. Where after the events at the school, it would create a sort of rift between them. Looking back, I wish I could have fleshed out the initial relationship a bit more, I think, for the most part, the introduction and the build-up were okay. Overall, in regards to dialogue, I think is one of my stronger suits. That isn't to excuse the issues in the actual flow and sound of the character interactions, but more so a personal analysis of those aspects.
Advertisement
The reason I chose not to dwell too much on the initial relationship is because I wanted to create an air of mystery behind Klaus. Keep him an enigma as one of my friends said. This stemmed its own set of issues, but I think that I managed to accomplish what I wanted to with Klaus for the time being. Not divulging too much information, but not keeping too much from the reader.
The next thing that I wanna touch on was the first and, really only action sequence of this entire prologue arc. The fight between Jean and the bat-like beast was one of the toughest writing experiences I've had as a novice writer. I had never really written an action scene and ended up fumbling my way through the sequence. I was genuinely struggling to create a fight that was engaging and exciting without over-explaining to the point that the readers can't formulate their own ideas or choreography of the fight.
However, while it isn't perfect, I thought that the fight scene wasn't too poorly done. Originally, I wanted to get some panel art done for this chapter. Unfortunately, that plan fell through and I wasn't able to do that.
Something I enjoyed writing quite a bit was the friendship between Jean, Dae-Ho and Donny. The three characters all have their own individual circumstances and in a way, I wanted to use that as a skeleton to bring these three together. I also wanted to use it as a way to demonstrate the global scale of the narrative. I thought that pulling in characters from different cultures and ethnicities would be a great way to emphasize that fact without shoving it in the readers face.
The actual dynamic was also something I enjoyed writing. All three of these characters borrow a lot of personal elements from my life. Whether that be friends and peers that I know or elements of myself, I wanted to bring that sense of comradery to the story.
This covers the positive portion of the arc-in-review.
Now on to the negatives!
Another major issue I had with the academy portion was that there were a ton of new character introduced. While I was writing these parts, I ended up pushing a lot of the side-character development to the back as I thought that I would be able to return to these characters at a later time. However, I realized that doing that would only hinder any weight that the narrative might have when shit starts to hit the fan. Because the interactions between Jean and these characters are so brief, it makes them feel expendable and as a result, makes it harder for the readers to care for their well-being.
Continuing on the topic of characters, let's talk about Jean. As the main character, I know that there is a lot riding on his development. Unfortunately, I genuinely feel as though his motivations and reason for accepting the situation were a bit half-assed. While I did do this on purpose, I felt as though, even his temporary motives should be made clear. And sadly, that didn't feel to be the case while looking back.
Advertisement
There is an unclear ambiguity to how Jean's character changes his mind on the situation. Simply saying that he had no choice but to accept it. While narratively, it works for where the story started and is going, it just felt a little hollow for me. His motivations are something that, as the author, I know are imperative. His purpose later in the story is something that I have set in stone and have fleshed out quite a bit in the brainstorming phase. But that still doesn't excuse the lackluster development of his early motivations in this prologue arc.
Even though there is a build up for the change in thinking, a part of me still feels as though it wasn't made clear enough. And even if it was clear, it just have the "oomf" that I wanted it to have.
Another major issue with this arc, staying on track with characters, are the one-dimensional aspects of certain characters. Especially, Eve. While characters like the Evelynn, Elton, and the Headmaster have some sort of character beyond just their archetypes, Eve is really the crux of the negative here. While we get some momentary depth to her, due to the archetype I chose, there wasn't much I did for her that went beyond that.
I won't talk about Serizawa here for obvious spoiler reasons. Just keep in mind that Serizawa isn't mentioned in this because she's only just been introduced and there isn't much for me to speak on without giving the later story points away.
The next set of negatives really stem from the issues that some of the users I mentioned pointed out. More specifically the solitary confinement. Looking back, I genuinely wished I worked on the chapter a bit longer than I had. The implications of solitary confinement raise a lot of issues. For example, I can see the readers question the brain power of the higher-ups, let alone the Headmaster. On top of that, the consequential implications it has for Jean is far greater due to his mental state (I'll critique this element later as well). Solitary confinement was genuinely only used a plot device to push the narrative forward and I do agree with people that it was a terrible call. While it might have functioned for the purpose of the narrative at the moment, the potential for confusion and issues to arise later on could have been a lot greater if this segment of the story was longer.
Now going back to Jean, his mental state. This was something that I feel I should have emphasized more as the author. While it plays an underlying role throughout the entire story up to this point, it just never feels coherent or consistent. And because of that, there is a lack of focus on it. I genuinely wished that I had caught onto that earlier and fleshed out the psychological conflict more. However, I am taking this as a learning experience and hoping to improve in this aspect of the story.
Overall, this prologue arc was a really important moment for me. I had the opportunity to practice my writing a lot. Especially with styles that I was not really used to. While in my eyes there's a lot to be desired from this arc, I'm still proud of myself for working on it and putting it out there. Excuse my ego-boosting statement. Regardless, I learned a lot from reading the critiques as well as rereading my own writing with a critical lens. Moving forward, I encourage and welcome critiques.
I do want to continue to do these arc in reviews at the end of each arc in the future. Personally, they're very beneficial for me. But, let me know, as a reader, if you find this to be interesting. Nonetheless, thanks for reading through my ramblings and personal critiques.
Oh and one last thing!
I've made a twitter account for people who want to follow progress on Beast as well as any other projects that I might be working on in the future. I'll be posting things to help notify people of any edits that I might make to Beast, as well as polls for questions I have regarding things in the narrative. If that's something you're interested in keeping up with, follow me @CKoalaWN
Once again, thanks to everyone for all the support!
Much love
Confused Koala
Advertisement
- In Serial361 Chapters
My Special Ability is Perfect Replication
After transmigrating to this world where spiritual energy is revived, I realized that it’s a world rampaged by Direbeasts. But what is most exciting is that humans with special abilities do exist! It’s awesome to witness control of thunder and fire, titan’s transformation, limb regeneration, teleportation, telepathy, precognition and many more. And guess what? I have them all.
8 8454 - In Serial92 Chapters
Super-Soldier in Another World
The anti-matter bomb had worked... sort of. Hoplite thirty-seven didn't think that it worked quite the way that it was intended... After all, he was still alive and now he had to deal with elves, magic, and a primitive human civilization, along with other fairy-tale creatures he didn't understand.
8 469 - In Serial19 Chapters
The Primordial
With one goal fueling him, he broke through the final barrier, reaching the apex of power and regaining that which was once lost. Trying to find a new beginning, he reforged himself anew as he awoke to memories of a long forgotten past. Memories that intersected with his new reality. His invincible soul now unchained, surprises await him as he begins his new jouney in an unknown land. I'm just writing this for fun, but i'll never drop it. This won't be something short, as I have the very long term in mind, but I'm a total noob to writing, so I most likely won't release chapters very often, at least until I really get the hang of it. But, the chapters will always be several thousand words long. At the minimum 2k, maximum like 6k... Pretty big variations, sorry. If you like it, great. If you don't, that's understandable. Regardless, if you have a read, I'd appreciate feedback for areas you think I should improve on, whether it's the use of some words or how I should write something or WHATEVER. I'm open to anything, good or bad, because with your help, it'll help make this story better. **DISCLAIMER** So you don't waste your time, I want to let you know what you're getting into, because I like knowing ahead of time before I read something. This might appear like a Xianxia novel, but it's not. It only starts that way. This is a western fantasy world and setting that many of you are familiar with. The beginning chapters might be a bit of an info dump. Some of it might seems superfluous, but a lot of information is relevant to the story. The first few chapters might also seem rushed, but I'll try to keep it exclusive to those. This is a cliche, OP MC story with the typical harem, but other than the quick start, everything else will be gradual. There will be romance, and probably many moments at that, but don't expect anything TOO detailed. If you want something really steamy, look elsewhere. References and throwbacks to stuff most likely. The setting won't be really dark or really light. Middleground, I guess. The MC is far from a young kid, but he won't totally reflect his age. I don't plan on discarding info, abilities or characters that you KNOW should come back and be around. I see it a lot and it sort of bugs me haha... but I could have oversights, I dunno. As I said, I'm a noob. That's it, really. If you're interested, welcome to my world!
8 119 - In Serial108 Chapters
Overlord: The One Who Stayed
The Butterfly Effect... in Overlord. Nigun's final effort here was not 'an angel' but rather a spell that had an unexpected side effect. Ainz is given a human body. From here, he must navigate his choices with his human mind and emotions intact. Does he tell the guardians, if so, when? Who? How? What choices differ when he has human wants and needs, and where does he go from here? Read on to find out, but know this... whatever his form, where he goes, the world will follow, whether it wants to... or not.
8 192 - In Serial15 Chapters
Long Bridge to the City
A chance encounter. A dangerous power. And a betrayal beyond imagining... Órlaith's kept her magic a secret her whole life, fearful of the fate that befalls the spellweavers - the unlucky few with powerful enough magic to catch the wrong person's attention. Until she - literally - runs into Leolin. He's a spellweaver just like her - except the magehunters already caught him. And they want him back. When Órlaith's whole world burns down around her, the two of them flee to the near-mythical City, said to be the only place in the realm where spellweavers can live without fear. But who is the mysterious Gwydion, who seems determined to stop them from reaching the City? And is the City everything it seems to be - or is there something else hiding beneath its shimmering towers? Written as part of the Inkfort Publishing Derby 2022.
8 85 - In Serial6 Chapters
aphmau meets dream-wastaken
in a crazy attempt to get away from everyone because dream was in prison and escaped, dream ends up in another dimension because he ran away but ended up falling into a steep hole after waking up he fined out that he was in another dimension after that he finds a girl who is braking a tree down dream and the girl become friends they were next to a village that looks cool and is named phoenix drop. finished
8 163

