***

We continued our trek westward. Again, the group was silent. However, this silence was somewhat lighter than the last and yet, at the same time, heavier. Their postures were still that stiff, ready to pounce stance. However, it was somehow more lax than before our troll encounter. Hands still constantly twitched to their weapons, only to loosen up midway like a halfhearted tension. It was confusing.

Then, Jasper hinted why.

He suddenly swerved in our right to a nearby bush and gagged profusely. He made sounds of vomiting, but, fortunately, nothing came out. Throng of leaves shook along his shivering shoulders, producing vibrations in the air like those of an incoming bee army.

After Jasper was Iris. Taking the left corner, she knelt and vomited in a protruding roots. Unfortunately, it seemed she ate breakfast healthily.

"What's wrong with you two?" I asked, bewildered. Was an epidemic spreading or something?

Seirs noticeably flinched with my words, while Yulan slowly faced towards me. "...Vitaly, how many lives have you taken by now to be so oblivious?"

I paused, finally understanding the situation. "I've lost count."

My honest and unhesitating response caught him off guard. "...How- ...Why-?" He asked in broken disbelief.

Well, why indeed?

...Why else people kill? It will always be about selfish reasons. Whether it be for survival or vendetta, everything boiled down to the will in doing so.

I just smiled in response to Yulan's bewilderment. Or tried to. My selfish reasons don't need to be voiced out. Those things were better left buried in some recesses I would never bother to keep tabs in.

They were too ugly to look at.

Ignoring the stares of both Yulan and Seirs, I went to Iris and held her shoulder. I let my morphine-like mana travel through her. Of course, I did so reservedly, just a slight poke, enough to distract her mind from its current state. It helped, somehow, as Iris' heaving immediately slowed to a stop.

I did the same thing to Jasper, then did I face the two pairs of eyes observing me. "There is a lake directly ahead, an hour away. We should hurry and wash blood off your clothes. Currently, the smell of blood should be concentrated on the carcasses behind us so we are fine, but it is better to be safe than sorry."

I quickly went ahead without waiting for response. Those two pairs of eyes was too uncomfortable to bear. Uncomfortable not because of the assumptions they were probably constructing with faces I could not see, but uncomfortable because their eyes felt like a flash light, illuminating things better left in the dark. I don't to think about things I rather forget.

I want to keep my thoughts shallow, trivializing everything to popcorns and rainbows. Because if I stray deeper, I was afraid I might not be able to pull myself back up.

This is me.

This is my curse.

And I would never be free.

"I'm sorry..." Iris' quiet murmur pulled me out of my melancholy.

When I went ahead, the other four silently trailed behind. Both Yulan and Seirs were mutually silent, not that they were talkative to begin with. Jasper followed sluggishly with a hand clutching his belly and the other fisted against his mouth. Meanwhile, Iris was furthest behind, furiously swiping her mouth nonstop.

"It's fine. It's only natural..." I said back, feeling hypocritical. I just thought they were sick, and now I called it natural, how irresponsible and annoying of me.

She did not reply, and silence once again dawned our group. Should we just call ourselves TEAM SILENT? Though, I was the main culprit this time.

Not soon enough, trees gradually thinned down until a wide clearing of calm and steady waters replaced them. Spanning five hundred meters in diameter, the lake formed an unnaturally perfect circle gridded by a sandy bank of identically foreign in nature like the lake's eerie perfection. Right in the center of this unnatural lake stood a gazebo. The structure had four marble pillars interconnected with rails of similar material. The pillars supported a tall roof of ceramic shingles that steeped down to four pointed corners, each decorated with a hanging chime caressed by the wind and produced relaxingly light tinkles.

"What is this...?" Seirs whispered in disbelief.

He was not alone. The other three stopped in their tracks upon seeing the lake that scream it doesn't belong. I would be surprised too if I were them. In our three hours walk, not a single trail was present. Human presence was extremely scarce if any, and now, a gazebo stood in what seemed like a man-made lake. To add more mystery atop of that, five people were currently in that gazebo chatting and eating leisurely.

"Ahem. Welcome to Lake Ra'ta'na, the proud creation of bored people." I announced with pride.

The four only stared at me, stunned speechless, I would say.

I ignored the four for a bit and concentrated to the more pressing issue. Facing the gazebo, I smiled as I spoke with a voice dripping of sarcasm. "Hello, you five. Is the lake to your liking?" I made the wind directly convey my words to the hundreds meter away gazebo, grabbing the five's merry attention.

One of them turned to me and cocked her head coquettishly. "Oh my, oh my? I was certain no one in their right mind would wish to be grouped with you after my little prank, but... Hm, I assume freaks are not limited to Yenoa Academy?" Her demeaning voice was not loud enough for the four behind me to hear, but this girl knew that I could anyway. And that was just perfect for her.

Her name was Lorein, the typical high school queen with looks and wealth to back her ego. More importantly, she made it her habit to find trouble for me. If she couldn't find something, then she would make something. Why all the effort, I don't know. I just know she had enough passion for that habit to make it last a decade. I did part her with few life lessons, but... she never really knew how to quit.

When I was seven, she loved bad mouthing me. At eight, it got worsened to trippings. At nine, it escalated to 'accidentally' drenching me with ice cold water in a winter day. I could have died from hypothermia if I wasn't normal by that! And that wasn't the last. It was cute initially, but after so many times in years of constant annoyance, I just had enough.

I publicly challenged her to duel, a challenge she could not refuse lest she didn't a damn to her pride. After all, I was only a blind girl and a healer to boot, refusing meant being below a coward. With these conditions considered, she gladly accepted, and, without further ado, I made her wet her robe, evident with the soaked earth beneath her boots.

After that, the bullying stopped. Oh, no, she didn't give up. She just became more discreet and her creativity leveled up. So the cycle of harassment and payback went in circles of no end. Like I said, she just doesn't know when to learn a lesson despite how many times I generously 'taught' her.

Ah, I was digressing.

Anyhow, I only smiled at her charlatan behavior before slowly freezing a portion of the lake. She lovingly flinched and retreated back in small, faltering steps. I guess this brought back memories? "Oh my, oh my. What to do? I seemed to have frozen the lake..." I said in similarly sickeningly sweet voice.

"You- you monster!" Someone from her group screeched. It was a male, well, four of her group of five was male. Lorein was the only flower... Boy's Over Flowers? How ambitious.

"Lorein, am I?"

"..." She hesitated. We had been in this drill numerous times, and she knew how the conversation should progress. She starts as the almighty, but I would always have the last laugh.

"Lorein, what was the 'little' prank all about." I took a step on the icy lake.

She shuddered for a moment before finally answering. "...I made an illusion of blood to trail your every step."

...Now, that made sense. No wonder everyone else was scurrying away from me back then. I probably looked creepy as hell, like a messenger of hell.

On another note, I silently praised Lorein for her cunning resourcefulness. That time, the ground was still charged with buzzing mana from the earlier «Grand Teleportation». There was no way I could have sensed a magic casted on that super charged ground. To start with, illusion magic, by nature, were stealthily faint and hard to detect. Even if it was indirectly connected to me, given the circumstances, my obliviousness was only a given. This prank of hers was definitely quite ingenious in design, very commendable. Seriously though, if Lorein only applied this kind of enthusiasm to her studies...

Anyway, I continued our rehearsed conversation. "And what will you say after the inconvenience I went through?"

"...I'm sorry." Lorein begrudgingly apologized. She must be dying inside about now.

"And then?" I coaxed, not satisfied despite her slight whimpers.

"I would not do it again."

"Well done." I stepped back, back to the ground, before unfreezing the lake. The temperature have slightly dropped a few Celsius from my recent display, and my companions behind me were slightly shivering. Or was that from fear? Either way, with a last look towards her, I bade a farewell advice. "Lorein, you better not tell anyone you are eating inside that gazebo. If your sister finds out... well, good luck!"

"Um..." Iris spoke up, making me turn to her.

"Yes?"

"Is it really fine to wash here?"

"It's clean water, no worries."

She hesitated a bit then spoke, not looking towards me. "The lake is really beautiful. I thought it would not be wise to sully it with blood and my... mess."

"Eh, even if you drop a bleeding troll down there, the lake won't get dirty at all. Right now, you should be seeing a spotlessly clean lake without a single leaf despite being in the middle of a forest, no? It is an eternally clean lake. It was made that way."

They momentarily froze, only to breath again when Yulan sighed loudly along with a head shake, breaking the tension. "Vitaly, I have so many questions as is, but it seemed it will only increase with time".

"Precisely." Seirs agreed, to which everyone else nodded with.

I shrugged, "You can just ask me later". Gently kneeling down, I scooped water from the lake with both hands and drank it heartily. It tasted sweet with slight tang of orange. The temperature was perfect too, cold but not numbing cold. These two combined, the lake water was a heaven's touch in a forest overloaded with danger.

The four behind me also followed suit. Yulan and Seirs took to themselves to wash away from us. Even temporarily, their blood soaked clothes would make its vicinity undrinkable. Iris was also slightly away, piously rinsing her mouth. To my right was Jasper, meekly drinking water in similar fashion with me, scoop and sip.

By this time, I completely disregarded Lorein's stares of piercing daggers. Eh, her punishment for that 'little prank' would come later.

"Are you feeling better?" I asked Jasper and started a conversion.

"Somewhat, though, I do not think I should eat in a while... just in case." His last words were a whisper lighter than the wind. I was slightly happy he doesn't want to follow Iris' footsteps. That time, with my heightened sense of smell, I unwillingly identified the ingredients of her breakfast, plus the nasty gastric juices that made the whole set a mumbo jumbo against my nose. It was disconcerting experience to say the least, though I definitely understand the situation. I mean, the first time I killed something, my first act was to puke gloriously too. Mm, but that was long time ago.

Anyway, for a little while, we stayed by the banks of the lake. Nothing noteworthy happened-actually, there was one. Both Yulan and Seirs shamelessly stripped down their clothes, all but their boxers. Unfortunately, I was blind and can't tell the difference between a naked body versus a clothed one. To me, either way resulted into a series of high tech information called vibration, not very sexy at all, albeit boring.

As for Iris, she had long retreated to the forest line. Any decent woman would. Of course, I was the exception. Anyway, there was one prime example of indecent woman here, and she was called Lorein, the woman who brazenly ogled guys even though there was a good two hundred fifty meter distance separating them. Even with bad view, she would not shy away at craning her neck an inch further. She was that dedicated.

Well, to cut the lake-part story short, nothing happened. No, I wasn't bitter, but there really was nothing worth detailing. I just taught a little brat, took a drink, and so we went.

After drying up with fire and wind magic happily supplied by certain indecent mage, we once again headed westward with renewed optimism strangely brought by a certain someone's shamelessness. The wonders of her nature never ceased to amaze me.

-

Slowly, twilight descended unto the forest. In the sky, the sun that once radiated heat above our heads were now slipping away, retreating beyond the mountain ranges which towered overhead. Around us, the vitality of the day was abandoning us in the hands of solemn facade of the dark night.

No bird sang to lift the spirits, cicadas became the eerie backdrop.

No critters came astray, they all scurried for shelter away.

No winds gave comfort, for they came to bite with cold.

This was the nightlife. What was known under the blazing sun were null under the serene moon. Everything changes.

Really, the shift from day to night had always been very interesting! However, my group had different opinion.

They only grew wary as the light that guided their way dimmed by the minute.

"We have to camp for the night and start preparing now before the sun completely set down." Iris spoke calmly to which everyone agreed in.

We quickly searched for a good place to camp out. Later on, we unanimously voted in camping at a base of a hill, where a stack boulders pooled a fresh water dripping from somewhere. Well, it was a running water at least.

Tasks were then divided out. Yulan and Jasper were paired to collect firewood as well as dinner. As a druid, Jasper was quite proficient in searching for hiding meat, while Yulan would do the hunt. Seirs and Iris stayed back. Iris were to make a small lodging out of scratch, while Seirs would provide the scratch. That was to say, Seirs would be the supplier while Iris was the construction worker.

As for me, I was the CEO.

Well, kidding aside, I was left at making fire through magic, something I volunteered doing.

Still, it only took a zap, and fist-sized fireball appeared. My task was done in one second while the others barely started. I felt a little guilty doing nothing while everyone worked, so I volunteered to gather more needles and dry leaves to make the bedding.

"Will you be fine? I mean, I understand you can take care of yourself, but..."

"How can you search for things you cannot see." Seirs exasperatedly completed what Iris was fumbling to say.

"Oh? Don't worry, blind people have few tricks up their sleeves."

"Tricks up your sleeves...?" Iris got confused and repeated my words with a big question mark by the end.

I guess not all idioms transcend worlds. "I meant that, I have my own ways. I wouldn't even try doing it if I wasn't confident. So, I will be going~"

I slowly turned away from her, waiting for objections, but since there was none, I continued on my merry way, scouting the area while I was at it.

-

I walked without haste, occasionally kicking random twigs and rocks out of boredom, or jumping to some high branch and pick fruits to eat on the way.

It was already night, and the darkness that scared most people had no effect on me. I lived on it in every waking hours after all, literally... and metaphorically.

Ten years.

School life was almost over. I planned to visit Pina in the north right after, but... what after? I could always be a medic in the military, or serve some noble family as a healer. I also could stay with Pina, I know she wouldn't refuse. There were so many options for me, but all choices seemed a little too lacking? I did say I wanted a simple life, but I am not so sure what that meant anymore.

Food, shelter, friends, and income? Those somehow sound too... boring?

Well, at the very least, I knew I was starting to become hypocritical.

Boring? Hah!

It seemed ten years of peace was starting to dull my fears. I can't become too complacent. I bear a curse capable of destroying innumerable lives. Ten years ago... it seemed I was starting to forget what I did ten years ago...

Then what? What was I supposed to do with this life when everything felt so wrong? I was missing out on something, and I had no idea what that is.

CRACK*

I punched a nearby tree in frustration. The tree shook and groaned as it tilted backward. My fist bore a hole on its trunk, several inches deep, while hints of its roots protruded upward. Still, I wasn't satisfied and gave another blow, much harder this time.

THUD*

The poor tree tried to resist the force for moments, until, no longer capable, it slowly fell with a crackling groan and toppled small shrubs quietly sitting behind it.

The noise echoed and scared few nocturnal creatures away, while some others got attracted and came closer with cautious curiosity leading their way.

Just about time.

I was getting hungry. Today's lunch was only berries, fruits, and some herbs we got along the way. It was far from my usual diet, especially after using «Restoration». That spell consumes a lot of my mana, and depleted mana meant depleted satiety, while depleted satiety meant going killing spree. It was a ridiculously dreadful chain of events.

Thankfully, wolves came to relieve my hunger. About six of them came creeping around me, while a few more stayed in place, waiting for orders. Though I call them wolves, they were actually slightly different than those of their namesake. These 'wolves' didn't have a single fur, their skin just a slick hide that provides no insulation. In return, their movement were swifter that barely rustled leaves. They also don't howl, but hiss instead. I only called them wolves because of their pack-like coordination and their hierarchy topped by an alpha. Though, I guess I should give them a different name since they were not exactly the same? Oh well.

I didn't wait for them to finish observing me, and I struck first. Grabbing the nearest wolf, I instantly roasted it well-done. Seeing this, the pack unanimously pounced. I responded by kicking, not very creative, but it would do. I don't want to kill unnecessarily, there were other predators who would gladly finish the job.

Anyway, the wolf flew a short distance, slamming against the fallen tree I just toppled. Repeating some kick and punch, until the whole pack was bruised and bleeding, the rest finally retreated back to the wilderness leaving their one well-done companion.

It was getting late, so I hurried with my meal. Iris and the rest would probably get worried if I stayed any later.

Doki*

As I was about to head back, a faint pulse caught my attention. It sounded like a heartbeat, but, strange, there shouldn't be anymore 'wolves' in hundred meters.

Curious, I turned to head in the direction of that pulse. It was towards the tree I just toppled over. The earth that was previously occupied by the roots were now empty and hollow, forming a small cavity in the ground. And the pulse came from there...

I took a step closer and knelt before it. Hesitating a little over what the hell was I doing, my curiosity eventually won, so my hands probed forward. I dug out the earth and pebbles out, as well remnants of roots that obstructed my digging. I didn't want to be forceful and accidentally kill whatever was making the faint doki doki sound, thus I toiled slowly and carefully, inch by inch. Until, finally, my fingers felt something other than dirt and miscellaneous objects. My fingers felt a smooth and soft surface. It felt fragile against my touch, so I proceeded more gently.

Soon enough, I had fully dug it out. Or should I say, 'him'.

Disoriented, I picked him up and dusted dirt off of his naked body. With no idea what the hell just happened, I carried him back to our little camp. My mind was no longer working.

"Vitaly!" When I neared the camp, Iris screamed and immediately rushed towards me. "We were getting worried and was starting to prepare a search party for you! Where had you gone and-" Her machine gun rant froze after seeing me completely.

Three guys were right behind and peeked at what made her freeze, consequently freezing them on the spot all the same.

"Vi- Vitaly, I thought you gone to collect more bedding. I never thought you would bed someone while you're at it-" I didn't let Yulan finish and squarely kicked his face.

"Any more stupid comments?" I asked, finally waking up from my little trip away from reality.

The remaining three only shook their heads. All our gaze never left my arms, or more specifically, the baby in my arms. It was a few months old human baby, a 'he' human baby. I could tell that much after groping all of his anatomy.

"What do I do with this?" I whispered helplessly.

"I... am not a woman." Jasper started, to which Seirs and Yulan immediately hopped into his 'I've-got-nothing-to-do-with-this' wagon with desperate nods.

"I... am not that endowed, so take care of him." Iris also backoff with arms across her chest.

"This had nothing to do with your breasts! That thing doesn't work that way!" I nearly screamed at the top of lungs.

"How- how indecent!"

"Shut up. You started it!"

"But- but- but-"

We bickered for a bit more. At the further back, Jasper was sitting on log, his hands covering his face while his back faced us. Yulan and Seirs walked in tandem at getting away...

"Uwaa~"

Without warning, the baby suddenly cried, making all of us jump.

I was aghast. I haven't handled a newborn for decades! I barely remembered how to hold one... So I immediately passed him to Iris.

Her reactions were slow, and in the next second, the baby was cradled in her arms. Shocked, she almost threw him away. Fortunately, she caught herself and awkwardly held the baby with shaking arms. "Vi- Vitaly, please~" Her pleading voice shook with sobs. Droplets of tears were also sliding down her cheeks.

But I was too cold-hearted. I instantly stepped a few distance back. "No, thank you."

"I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this!!!"

"Well, neither do I- Ah!" I became negligent and accidentally tripped on the uneven ground. My flailing hands tried hard to reached something, and it did. It was Iris, and she gripped my wrist with vengeance. "A-ahaha..."

I could only laugh miserably. Was this heaven's answer in my quest of search for the meaning of my life? To be a babysitter? Seriously...!?

----

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