Ch.43 Forgotten Love...

While slowly retrieving his hand from the Mana stage, Malpetios tries his best to remain in control of his body. The mana begins to calm down with the removal of the lingering wills, while the hand causing their fury turns pure white, radiating rainbow glimmers.

Not having the liberty to focus on things like walking, Malpetios activates [Boss Fusion], allowing the Lily to take him back to the cave. Now protected by the fusion, he was no longer under the attacks of so many screaming will fragments, tearing his mind to shreds constantly.

As the weaker wills turned into static noise in the background, it reveals the presence of three strong ones. "Are you ok mister Host?" Said a childish voice, "yES, i'M fINe" said Malpetios, an angry voice yelling at him shortly after.

"BASTARD! Get me out of here, I swear I'll kick your arse for kidnaping me!" This voice sounded just like Malpetios own, well, before he removed the seal that is. "I hAVe nOT drUGgEd, oR kIDnApeD yOU, YOu mOroN!" Said Malpetios in exasperation.

After removing the Emotional Suppressant he almost could not take the number of feelings and memories flashing before his eyes. Paralyze by the many different senses, he wanted nothing more than to scream and cry. In the constant conflicting signals, only reassuring himself that this was not him but the lingering wills, kept him in control.

He saw himself as a Beastmen or human in one second, and Elf the next. The constantly changing perspectives were overlapping each other, the feeling was as if each will held a part of his body pulling in completely opposite directions.

Their movement also came with its own emotion attached to it, such as trying to run in fear of something or moving forward for an attack. Although the memories gave him glimpses of the locations and people they used to be, it was blurred and discolored. Using his own memories as leverage, he forced them back, not accepting them as his own.

This stalemate lasted till he saw a memory he could not remember, yet knew was his. Ever since he came to this world his memories were like a heavily edited film, he could remember the beginning, middle, and end of something but not what happened in between.

A single day of his life was cut up into when he wakes up or eats, the things that happened at work or the gym that were worth noting, and lastly moments of strong emotions like love or happiness. Everything else was gone, from what clothes or shoes he wore, to the face and number of family or co-workers I chatted with.

This memory was so familiar to me, using my vastly improved thinking, I was able to find a perfect match with my own memories. Letting go of the mental barrier I tried to absorb it, only for it to resist my pull, before I could try again the other fragments used the opening to infest my mind.

Having no choice, I abandon the memory and reformed my defenses. It only took a while for another much smaller memory fragment to pass by my barrier, one whose familiarity tugged at my very soul. This memory fragment was simple yet so painful, and for the first time, he could see the person's face.

It was my mother's face! It was clear for me to see, she was slightly angry while pointing at the trash bags I had forgotten to throw away, scolding me for not doing so. I never noticed till I saw her face, all the things I had lost, and could never get back.

All this time I could not remember my family's faces, or how much I missed them, all of these emotions were seemingly sealed away in my heart, numbed and distant yet still there, as I used Q'ill as a replacement. In my moment of loss and grief, I completely open my mental barriers, doing all I could to absorb that memory.

Sensing my weakness all the wills wasted no time attacking me in the very next second, nearly making me lose control. While I gritted my teeth, tears fell from my bloody eyes, as I was unwilling to let go of that single memory.

For the first time, I actively fought with all I had to destroy the wills, those who were defeated became part of me while the others infested my mind trying to control it. In the next moment, a distant childish voice was heard all around me; "The... Host's ego is under attack, umm... s-sorry do I know you, I can't remember?"

Sounding confused the voice continued, "I-I mean... n-no, no, I can sense your losing... something? I have to stop it soon if you can't control it, but I can't seem to remember why?"

Meanwhile, Malpetios was slowly losing his mind as he desperately hold onto that memory, just as he started to falter, warmth and happy feelings washed over him.

The world of black decorated with the red eyes of the screaming wills melted like acid was splashed on it, their bodies turning white with a big smile and warm eyes.

Taking this chance I dragged the memory I was protecting towards me. Cradling this fragment of my old self, I take one more look at it with teary eyes, only to see something was changing in it. Where there used to be a tan woman in her forties, it slowly changes into four women with red, blue, earthy brown, and grayish-green hair.

Looking at them, the feeling of not wanted to let go was still there, but this time it felt forced... like if someone was trying to... to. "NO! YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER!!!!" In fury, I tried to rip apart this white world around me. Taking a page out of the Lingering wills book, I violently screamed, turning my mental force into something akin to a soul or sonic attack as the white space around me shattered.

Coming two after that attack I found myself back in Muscles' cave. Abruptly standing up, a feeling of double vision disoriented me, as I noticed the water in front of me. Taking a look, over half my upper body was covered in white, while large web-like cracks extended from the blackened side of my face.

Remembering the Memory, I saw my mother's face again from one part of my vision, while the other still showed four women with different hair colors. Waving my hand over my eyes I realize that the white side of my face still showed that modified memory.

I remember my body was made out of white light... however it had rainbow glimmers, this one radiated golden ones. As I was looking at my white body parts I noticed the black cracks were slowly repairing themselves. Not wanting my mother's memory to be changed by the white film again, I tried to expand the cracks.

My attempts, however, only drew new will fragments to find me. My Ego was once again pulled inside my mind, the wills rushing towards my defenses. I finally remember that I did not have full control of my body at the moment, and I was fighting to remove the Imprints.

Looking at the twenty or so wills rushing at me I remember the form of attack I had just created, deciding to name it Soul Scream, I aimed at the wills destroying them. The remaining pieces were safely absorb becoming part of me. With the wills gone, the space around me started to turn white again, the now white wills floated around me with happy smiles.

Shortly after that, I noticed the memory of my mother started to change again, in a panic I tried to push the white wills away from me this time, and to my surprise, it offered no resistance.

Taking advantage of this, Malpetios forced all the white wills surrounding him away. However, unbeknown to him, all the white in his body retreated as he pushed, exposing him to the wills outside the protective circle it had created.

Suddenly, piercing screams could be heard from afar, turning around he saw as the quickly retrieving world of white gave way to a mass of black with red eyes aiming straight at him. It was not till now that he noticed not all the white wills were pushed away, some stayed at the same spot quickly turning black and red-eye the moment it was freed from the white world.

In but a moment he was back where he started, defending himself from the onslaught of attacks. It did not take long for him to feel more fragments of his memories fly by, however, he did not dare retrieve them.

Not long in the fight, the white world crept back while the larger wills reflected fear in their bloody eyes and left shortly after. Seeing all of this Malpetios thought about attacking them and slowly winning this fight. The motivation quickly passed as he saw the endless waves of will covering the whole world.

He did not know what to do! He did not have enough time to clear out this sea of wills slowly, Q'ill was also in danger, and the Jewels were like hungry wolves waiting for me to make a mistake.

Breathing deeply Malpetios told himself that panicking would get him nowhere. With a clearer mind, he remembers a strange voice he had heard not long ago.

"SysTEm!!!" Caught in the heat of battle, as well as the worries and loss of Q'ill and his mother's memories, he had forgotten about his System.

The distant childish voice quickly answered my call, "mister Host do you need help? I no longer feel the need to do... something... are you ok?" Malpetios finally noticed that something was wrong with his System.

"WhO aRE YoU?" said Malpetios in confusion. "I am où collector... I think? I feel like I have forgotten something," replied the voice in hesitation. The System was no longer talking in its monotone yet not lifeless voice, communicating as a normal person would.

However, no matter what was going on right now he needed to remove the Imprints. Considering that this white world forcefully rewrote his mother's memory, it was safe to assume its the root cause. "Où WaS It? ThIS wORld oF whiTE Is foRceFuLLy cHAngiNg mY mEMoRieS, I ReQueST fOR ItS ReMOval!"

The childish voice was heard all around me again, "I... I no longer feel the need to observe you, mister Host. I can identify changes in your memories... However, I already know you are making the changes yourself, so I am not allowed to interfere."

Malpetios replied in confusion, " I hAveN'T ChANge AnY Of mY mEmoRIeS bY My owN wiLL, All thE ChANgeS SO FAR HAd beEN DonE bY thE JEweLs." Malpetios many voices started to sound angry, "yoU HavE cOnsTANtlY reFUSeD tO sTOp TheM evEN AfTer aLL thE EVIdeNCe."

"I-I am s-sorry, I didn't do anything wrong! I only follow the pattern given to me, the likelihood you were a (Fallen One) was high, yet they would never treasure their past memories;" Replied the voice in a mixture of fear and confusion, almost like it did not understand what fear was.

The voice continued, "I shall go to Host side! The voice telling me to keep a distance is gone, I am now allowed to make direct contact." Hearing this Malpetios remember the Jewels mentioning the fallen ones in 'The Future Generations Pack'.

Before he could ask The System about them he felt something huge moving towards him. Malpetios did not know why but the white world followed his will, taking advantage of this he had created a safe zone around himself.

Looking past the black bubble into the distance he saw a mountain size will walking his way. The gigantic creature seemed no different from the others apart from its size, being six or seven times bigger than Muscles. "Mister Host I am here!"