Of Trading and Surplus Clothing

MV Princess of Saturn along with some Philippine Navy vessels, arrived within the maritime territory of the Kingdom of Nada at exactly 0500 hours. The Royal Fleet of the Kingdom of Nada then escorted the Philippine Ships towards the port. Upon arriving, the locals at first were awed by the sail-less Philippine ships. While the officials of the Kingdom of Nada did not fail to inform the arrival of the Philippine envoy vessels, they did not completely quell the populace’s fear of invasion.

“What if the so-called ‘peaceful exchange’ is actually a preparation for military invasion? What if this visitation is nothing more than a ruse?” a Nadan man hypothesized as he spoke towards an older man who was looking at MV Princess of Saturn while gulping from a bottle of liquor in his hand.

“I don’t think so,” the drunkard replied, “if it was so, they would have attacked the Royal fleet of the bat. I’ve heard they have flying swords that flies thrice faster than the fastest Pegasus. If they have weapons, it would have been easy for them to speedily cripple our military forces before they could retaliate. By that alone, it would be easier for them to launch raids at and bleed our country to death. Yet so far, they never did anything hostile against our Kingdom.”

“Perhaps, you’re right. Nonetheless, the Royal Knights of Nada must remain vigilant against any signs of treachery. They must always keep their guards up.”

“Truth. I have confidence that His Majesty and our nobility know what they are doing. Have some faith, Oswin.”

The younger man nodded as he looked back towards the Philippine ship, “I hope this exchange ends well for the Kingdom of Nada.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Philippine envoys were honorably welcomed as they descended from MV Princess of Saturn. The Royal Knights of Nada stood in two rows on the opposite sides of the red carpet and raised their swords in salute as the Philippine representatives walk in their midst. Upon reaching then end of the carpet, Lady Catalina Vertia Almerya, accompanied with her trusted maidservant, approached the dignitaries with a brilliant smile. Her silvery hair reflected the rays of the twin suns while her pearl white teeth flashed under her pink lips. Her figure was a stunner, sporting a perfect form that would make her a powerhouse contender in beauty pageants like Miss Universe - if such things actually exist in this world. Her breasts were firm and well-formed while her hips and buttocks were wide and shapely. Her sparkling cerulean blue eyes has such unearthly beauty that no man can resist. In short, she is a goddess’ beauty personalized in mortal form. The Filipinos, except for Dr. Tesoro, were astounded and awestruck by Nada’s representative’s beauty. Ambassador Bucana, the Philippine’s Ambassador to Nada, quickly felt something is getting hard under his pants. Secretaries Medina and Labrador felt the same. Dr. Tesoro, on the other hand, maintained a professional, focused appearance as Lady Almerya approached the delegates.

“In His Majesty’s Grace welcome to the Kingdom of Nada, representatives of the Federal Republic of the Philippines. I am looking forward to working with you for the benefit of our nations,” Lady Almerya smiled as she greeted the Filipinos with a hand offering a handshake.

“T…Thank you, Lady Almerya,” Ambassador Bucana replied as he shook Lady Almeria’s hand, “W…we are also looking forward to work with you for the everlasting friendship between our nations.”

“I am glad that the Republic of the Philippines chooses diplomacy over warfare as means of establishing relationship with neighboring countries. Other countries would prefer war and conquest to have things their way.”

“I see. Did the Kingdom of Nada experienced any attempts of invasion from foreign lands?”

“Indeed, but none succeeded. The Gods and Goddesses protected us from invaders. I pray, tell me, did the Republic of the Philippines also fended invasions?”

Ambassador Bucana paused for a moment as he reflected. The Philippines never won any war and required the help of allied countries to save itself from getting its ass kicked. It was always the victim of invasion, the eternal butt-monkey of Southeast Asia. Nonetheless, it was almost miraculous that his hapless country escaped total annihilation despite being one of the militarily weakest countries in Southeast Asia.

“L..Let’s just say that our God preserved us through thick and thin,” Ambassador Bucana answered, “Currently, we are one of the most promising emerging economies in the world just before we were transported in this world. In fact, we have surpassed the Superpower China in terms of economic growth rate no small thanks to His Excellency, President Jimmy Yap, Jr.”

“So, your country is a diplomatic and mercantile powerhouse then. Interesting,” Lady Almerya commented.

“Indeed,” answered as he struggled to maintain his composure. It is true that Philippines became prosperous throughout the years, but it was due to commerce and industry. Worse, without much infrastructure in the sector of manufacturing (thanks to the colonial mentality of the Filipino people), the country was totally dependent to the economy of developed countries such as U.S.A., Japan and China. Now that the Philippines has been cut off from their business partners, something drastic has to be done.

“I see,” Lady Almerya said, “I pray that the Gods and Goddesses will bless the friendship of our nations.”

“I pray for the same,” Ambassador Bucana responded.

After the chat, Lady Almeria commanded the knights to accompany Philippine representatives towards the guest house. The Philippine representatives appreciated the magnanimity of the guest house as they toured towards it. Despite just being a guest house, it rivals the splendor of Malacañang Palace. Yet, it was said to pale in comparison with the Royal Palace. The Guest House walls were made of white marble decked with gold and silver. Marble statues of knights and maidens adorned the building while the garden surrounding the structure was teeming with colorful flowers such as roses and carnations. It was as if the Philippine Delegates found themselves inside a fairy tale book. Upon entering the guest house, the Filipino representatives were astonished by the grandeur of the building. The corridors were decorated with beautiful portraits, sculptures and other works of art like a first-class museum like the one in Louvre, France. Afterwards, the delegates arrived in their designated room.

“This would be your room, gentlemen. I pray that you would enjoy your stay here,” Lady Almerya said as she and the other escorts left. Now that the Filipino delegates were left alone in the rooms, they began to talk among themselves.

“That Lady Almerya sure is hot, isn’t she?” Secretary Medina said as he sat on the sofa.

“True. I wonder if I could flirt with her,” Ambassador Bucana concurred.

“You’re a married man, Ambassador. What will your wife say about that?” Secretary Labrador reacted.

“Bah. Dolores may go to hell. Lady Almerya is the one.”

While the Ambassador and the Secretaries were discussing about the paragon of beauty Lady Almerya, Dr. Tesoro remained and observant.

“Hey Dr. Tesoro,” Secretary Labrador said, “why are you being silent? Come and join our discussion.”

“Secretary Labrador is right. You are part of this delegation team despite of your blood relations. There’s no reason to isolate yourself. By the way, what do you think of Lady Almerya?” Ambassador Bucana concurred.

Dr. Tesoro eased himself a bit as he looks towards his colleagues, “Smart, beautiful and confident. She is quite a blessed lady.”

“That’s it?” Secretary Medina said, “Aren’t you in any way attracted to her?”

“No.”

“Why is that? Don’t tell me you’re into men.”

“Of course not. However, I have undergone myself to the ‘Freudian Disciplinary Mental Exercise’ beforehand.”

“Freudian… what? Color me curious. What on earth is that?”

“Come and listen carefully if you want to know.”

For a few moments, Dr. Tesoro subjected the three other officials into an erotic make-believe, only to end it with a terrible nightmare. The make-believe session was so vivid that the three officials experienced great pleasure and then terrible pain in their psyche.

“Aarghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!”

“F*ck it, Dr. Tesoro, F*ck it!!!

“You son of a b*tch!!!!”

Hearing the commotion, Nadan Knights hurried towards the delegates’ room. They feared that some assassins broke into the guest house and began killing the Filipino representatives. However, Dr. Tesoro came out of the door and apologized.

“I am sorry for the commotion, Sir Knights. We were in a middle of a mental exercise to ensure that none of us would us would commit a blunder during the negotiation proper. Everyone is in good condition…”

“What good condition?” Secretary Labrador’s voice rang out from inside the room, “I can’t feel ‘Junior’*!”

“Damn you, Dr. Tesoro!” Ambassador Bucana added.

Dr. Tesoro shook his head and sighed. He then looked again towards the knights and spoke, “rest assured they’ll be fine for tomorrow’s negotiation.”

“If you say so… Then, we will take our leave.”

The Nadan Knights left with confused visages as Dr. Tesoro maintained a poker face. He turned towards the delegates’ room but paused for a moment before entering.

“I know you’re watching us,” Dr. Tesoro muttered. The Doctor in Public Administration then gazed towards an incoming maid who was carrying a mop in one hand and a bucket of water in another.

“Oh… Good evening… umm…. Mister. Is there anything I can do for you?” the maid paused as she carefully placed her paraphernalia down and greeted with a bow and an innocent smile.

“Good evening as well. Oh, forgive my manners…” Dr. Tesoro replied with an uneasy smile, “I have nothing to ask of you tonight. Thank you very much for the offer.”

“My pleasure, Mister…” the maidservant curtsied before taking her paraphernalia and leaving the area. Dr. Tesoro, on the other hand, stood quietly as he kept an eye on the suspicious maid until she turned right at a corner.

“What are you up to, Lady Almerya...?”

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Early in the morning, a maidservant knocked in front of the door.

“Good morning, esteemed Sirs. May I enter for housekeeping?”

Secretary Labrador opened the door and answered, “G’Morning. Yes, please come in.”

The maidservant looked at Secretary Labrador and noticed the man’s deep eye bags. It seemed that he did not have a good sleep the previous night, terrifying the poor woman.

“Oh my, Dear Sirs! Is the room we have prepared uncomfortable? We’re so sorry.”

“No need to apologize, Miss,” Secretary Labrador replied, “The room is great, but we didn’t notice that we brought a f*cking demon with us…”

Hearing the conversation, Ambassador Bucana joined in, “Good morning everyone. Has anyone noticed that bastard Dr. Tesoro?”

“Never noticed him since the commotion last night” Secretary Medina butted in, “I knew there’s something fishy with that guy. He’s a Domingo relative after all.”

“Oh dear,” the maid responded, “I have no idea with the affairs of your country. If it’s a matter of national security, I must report this to the Knights.”

“There is no need for that.”

A familiar voice rang as Dr. Tesoro appeared beside the maid. He noticed the enraged eyes of his colleagues as he stood in front of the door. “Before you voice out your concerns… Miss Maid, please grant us some privacy.”

“I understand. I’ll then take my leave.”

The maidservant left the men silently as Dr. Tesoro maintained an expressionless visage. The men stared among themselves as tension filled the air. It was then that the Doctor of Public Administration entered as he gestured to other men to keep their silence. He went towards a wall where a medium-sized landscape painting of a garden was hanged. It had a barely noticeable peephole, about three millimeters in diameter, skillfully hidden in the midst of the painted garden’s dark foliage and shadows. Dr. Tesoro moved the painting and revealed a trapdoor hidden behind the art piece.

“Someone was spying on us last night. I should have noticed it earlier.”

“Wait, don’t tell me…” Ambassador Bucana realized in horror as his infidelity to his wife was exposed to foreign intelligence. The other delegates were similarly terrified of their perversions being exposed. Dr. Tesoro calmly took off his glasses and wiped them before putting them on.

“I don’t think our discussion last night would be a matter of national emergency nor a threat to the Philippine-Nada diplomatic relations.”

“But I could be blackmailed for that!”

“Considering the fact that polyamory is common among the nobility of Nada according to reliable sources, I doubt that the information regarding your infidelity would be of use other than making themselves hypocrites. Nonetheless, we have to be very careful next time with what we say. Any words we speak may be used against us and which could imperil the budding diplomatic relations between the Philippines and the Kingdom of Nada.”

“You have a point,” Secretary Labrador “Do you have any suggestion?”

“Perhaps. I have an application in my smartphone that allows me you send text messages via Bluetooth.”

“But what if they can intercept our messages?”

“Good luck to them. Binary codes aren’t that easy to decipher using magic without the knowledge of modern information technology.”

“Can you share the App to us?”

“Just a moment.”

Using a sharing application on his smartphone, Dr. Tesoro sent copies of the Bluetooth messaging application among his peers. After a few minutes, the application sharing was completed. The Philippine delegates then tested the application.

“Wow, it’s working! How did you know that this application exists?” Secretary Medina asked.

“Sheer need and desperation to electronically communicate in mountainous areas not reached by telecommunication networks. I am not obliged to explain further.”

“Geez, you’re so secretive. Why are you always like that? Are you into illegal activities?”

“Of course not, but I am a fan of Flame of Recca and Naruto.”

“Yeah right. That is so believable.”

“I am not begging you to believe me. Nonetheless, I have to maintain a stoic, professional image when I’m on the job. It’s almost time to meet with our Nadan counterparts. We have not enough time to waste,” Dr. Tesoro changed the subject as he looked at his wrist watch.

“As much as I want to interrogate you further, I must admit that you’re right. We have to prepare to ensure the success of our delegation. Time is of the essence,” Secretary Medina concurred.

The delegates carefully underwent necessary preparations for the upcoming meeting with the Nadan Royalty and Nobility. Diplomatic gifts were inspected by officers to ensure high quality by those in charge with the cargo. After an hour of final preparations, the delegates felt confident that everything would go smoothly as it should be.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lady Almerya busied herself with some paper works in her office. The sudden appearance of the Philippine Archipelago has caused panic and uproar among the constituents. The possibility of an invasion by the newcomers is still up in the air, despite the Philippine delegates’ promise of a more peaceful relationship with the Kingdom of Nada. Letters from several duchies and baronies have expressed concern regarding the possible complexities the Kingdom might face in the future in connection with its budding diplomatic relationship with the Philippines.

“I never thought diplomacy would be this complicated,” Lady Almerya thought to herself. The diplomatic exchange has taxed her with sleepless nights and busy days. It was a surprise even for her that she managed to barely maintain her beauty and attractiveness despite of the stress she was in. Abruptly, her concentration was broken when she heard a knock to her door.

“Please come in,” Lady Almerya gave her consent. A tall, fairly attractive maidservant entered her room and greeted her a bow. “Good morning, Milady. How is Milady’s sleep last night?” the maid inquired with a worried visage.

“Better than the other night, Miss Felicia. Thank you for your deep concern.”

“My pleasure. It is my duty to keep Milady’s health in check and serve Milady well with my life,” the maid curtsied.

“There is doubt that you have served me well,” Lady Almerya replied, “In fact, I felt I indebted to you throughout these years.”

“I humbly disagree. If it were not because of Milady, I would have died that night.”

Felicia’s words touched Lady Almerya’s heart. Her loyalty was beyond that of a servant to her master, but of love between two close sisters. Lady Almerya would have wept happily if she didn’t hold her joyful tears back.

“I would be very happy if you would stay here and serve me as long as the gods allow.”

“The happiness is mine, Milady.”

For a moment there was a blissful yet deafening silence between the two, until Lady Almerya started to talk again, “Miss Felicia, what information have you gathered from the diplomats?”

“Forgive me, Milady. As of now, I am yet to gather useful information about the Philippines’ true motives regarding our country. The only potentially useful information I picked up was the delegates’ personality.”

“I see. Please continue.”

“Three of the delegates talk like many of the less chivalrous nobles of Nada. That is, they love to talk about women,” Felicia reported seemingly stoically. However, Lady Almerya saw through her and noticed her sheer disgust with the men from the Philippines. It was as if Felicia was barely managing to stop her lips from uttering the word “disgusting”.

“I see. I noticed that you said ‘three delegates.’ How about the fourth one?”

“The fourth one, the one they call ‘Dr. Tesoro,’” Felicia paused as she remembered how the man almost blew off her cover, “Be careful of him. He is very cunning and observant. He probably has noticed that we were spying on them. Worse, he has cruel tendencies only mad men can appreciate.”

“Cruel tendencies?”

“Dr. Tesoro… he toyed with his own colleagues’ minds, claiming he has applied the so-called ‘Freudian Disciplinary Mental Exercise’ to himself as well.”

“Freudian Disciplinary Mental Exercise? I wonder what it is.”

“Milady, as much as I hate divulging the disgusting details, it is my duty to inform you of what has transpired. Last night, Ambassador Bucana, Secretary Labrador and Secretary Medina talked and had lewd thoughts about you,” Felicia reported in revulsion, “The only one who kept his silence was Dr. Tesoro. The three delegates noticed his silence and attempted to include him in their lewd discussion. While Dr. Tesoro appreciated your beauty, he remained stoic. This piqued the curiosity of the three other delegates and asked him why he was like that. It was the time he introduced the ‘Freudian Disciplinary Mental Exercise’. Knowing his colleagues’ lustful thoughts, Dr. Tesoro subjected them to an erotic make believe that involves you as the object of their lust. I heard each and every lustful word the men muttered until an unexpected thing happened.”

“Unexpected? What would that be?”

“Upon nearing their climax, Dr. Tesoro forced them to imagine you severing their male members with a knife.”

Lady Almerya almost fell from her chair. She wasn’t sure whether she would be angry for making her an object of sexual fantasy, or laugh in sheer amusement as she imagined how the perverted officials looked after getting what they deserve, or feel pity for the three delegates for being subjected to mental emasculation, or be worried about Dr. Tesoro’s sadism and craftiness. The swirling of mixed emotions overwhelmed her senses like a torrent of rushing water.

“Milady, are you alright?”

“No. I mean, yes. I am just… emotionally confused perhaps?” Lady Almerya struggled to regain her composure. The information she got was just ridiculous and unbelievable. How the hell did Dr. Tesoro even managed to make fools out of his own colleagues? The events were just too stupendous to the highest degree.

Upon reclaiming her serenity, Lady Almerya looked silently towards Felicia. She acted as calmly as she could while doing her best in controlling her feelings. After the pause, Lady Almarya began to speak.

“Thank you for the information, Felicia. That was very valuable.”

“My pleasure to serve you, Milady…”

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Hear ye, hear ye! The delegates of the Federal Republic of the Philippines have arrived with gifts and good will to our Kingdom! Make way for the visitors!” a yeoman declared with enthusiasm as the Filipino dancers entered into the royal audience. Grandiose music from trumpets and cymbals surrounded the hall as the delegation quickly turned into a fiesta of gaudy colors while some individuals lay gifts and some gift crates at King Alfonso VIII’s feet. While the king didn’t seem to be particularly impressed by the performance, he was nevertheless glad that the new country isn’t militarily aggressive and recognized the effort of the Filipino delegates. Queen Fiora was nonetheless amused by the performers as beautiful confetti rained around her. While King Alfonso was happy that his loving wife enjoyed the show, he’s worried about the mess the Filipinos made as part of the performance. He nonetheless was fully informed and allowed the spectacular but somehow messy act.

“What thou doest think about the Filipinos, my dear Queen?” the King inquired his spouse.

“They seem to be a lively people, Your Majesty.”

“I see.”

No sooner, the yeoman introduced the Philippine officials to the royalties and nobilities of the Kingdom as they entered the Kingdom Hall. The delegates then gave honor to King Alfonso and greeted him in high regards.

“Greetings, Your Majesty. His Excellency, President Jimmy Yap, Jr., and the rest of the Federal Republic of the Philippines.”

“I, King Alfonso VIII, in behalf of all my Kingdom’s subjects, accepts graciously thine goodwill and well intent. However, I have heard many things about your nation. Is it true that thine country has no King or Emperor?”

“Indeed, Your Majesty,” Ambassador Bucana replied, “We instead have a President as the head of our state.”

“Interesting. Until now, I had never heard a country without a monarch. Nonetheless, I am curious on how a diplomatic relation with your country benefit my Kingdom,” the King then motioned on his retainers to open the gift crates preented by the Filipino diplomats.

Nadan officers opened the first two crates. They were filled with sets of Batangas-made swords and knives. While they were not in par with the legendary runic weapons of Nada, the blades were still far above the craftsmanship of most Nadan blacksmiths. The whetted blades brilliantly glinted as the inspecting officer admired their beauty.

“These are no ordinary blades, Your Majesty. I am certain that these weapons do not have any enchantment but nonetheless they are very well made.”

The King rose his eyebrows, as if saying “impressive but not quite much”, and slightly nodded a few times. The officer shared his monarch’s opinion. The blades may be sharp, but they are not beyond the Kingdom’s military technology.

The third and fourth crates were then opened. They were filled with food products carefully preserved in ways unfamiliar to the Kingdom of Nada. While the gift piqued the Royal couple’s interest, they are not really different to ordinary grocery items except for their more fanciful packaging.

“Is that a fruit jam?” the Queen inquired as a jar of Mango Jam caught her attention.

“Indeed, Your Majesty. It is the best mango jam from our country. It’s ingredients are of the highest quality from Cebu that I doubt if any of this world’s fruit jam can compete against it. Furthermore, it is preserved with the lastest technology available from our world,” Ambassador Bucana gloated like a savvy salesman. While his act convinced the Nadans, Dr. Tesoro can’t help but sigh. There’s nothing really that special to the jam, that is, by modern standards. He’s glad though that the Knigdom of Nada is stuck in medieval stasis. Nonetheless, it was so convincing that the Queen requested a dozen of Mango Jams to which the Filipinos happily promised to bring her more.

Then it was time to open the fifth crate. Everyone was astounded as a bunch of “high quality”, vivdly colored, and finely designed ready-to-wear clothes were exposed to them. While cotton shirts are not as majestic as what the nobility wear, cottonwear are not common in Nada, let alone the fancy, rubberized designs printed on the shirts. The dyes on the fabric were rich, while patterns of gaudy colors painted the otherwise average clothes with such prominence foreign to the Nadans.

“I... I am impressed. Are these diverse tunics common in thy country?”

“Indeed, Your Majesty. In fact in the world we came from even the commoners can buy them cheaply. However, due to our country being transferred into this world, these kinds of tunics can only be made with the cooperation of other nations.”

“Very well. I hereby declare that the diplomacy between the Federal Republic of the Philippines. Are there any objections?”

The people never objected the King’s proclamation as they were enchanted by the apparels presented to them. However, Dr. Tesoro noticed something peculiar regarding the gifts. He quickly fished his smartphone from his pocket and sent a message via bluetooth to Secretary Labrador who was standing a few meters behind Ambassador Bucana.

“Made in China? What the f*ck is this, Secretary Labrador?”

With a smirk Secretary Labrador answered back in electronic form, “Simply complying with the essence and spirit of Republic Act 4653. The Philippines shall never be the garbage can of the world again. >;) “

It was then that Dr. Tesoro remembered why he never entered politics.